"Where are we running to, Eddy?" asked Ed.
"Heck if I know!" said Eddy. "I'm following everyone else!"
The Peach Creek Kids, along with Jack and Sally, were running in the opposite direction of Oogie's army of relentless skeletons.
"There! The school!" said Double D, pointing to Peach Creek Junior High. "It's our only option at the moment!"
So, without thinking, the group ran into the (thankfully) still open school. Eddy slammed the double doors behind him.
"SEAL ALL THE DOORS!" Eddy yelled.
"And the windows!" added Double D.
"You got it, chief!" said Ed.
Ed, along with Rolf (who was very good with his hands), immediately began running around sealing all the windows in the school. Everyone else, meanwhile, was grabbing every loose object they could and stacking them up against all the doors.
When everyone was done, they all found themselves in the lunchroom, panting heavily from running around everywhere.
"What were those things?" asked Nazz.
"I bet those dorks have something to do with it!" said Kevin.
"Now Kevin, hear our side of the story first!" said Double D. "Something happened last year, too!"
"Yeah, I bet," said Sarah.
"It's true!" said Eddy. "We helped Jack save Santa last year, too!"
"Really?" asked Jonny.
"I bet you boys were great," said Lee.
"Yeah," May and Marie added.
This caused the Eds to blush and groan.
"Do you think we sealed all the doors and windows?" asked Sally.
"Hmm . . . it wouldn't hurt to check," said Jack. "We'd better split up."
"Fine . . . " said Kevin. "But I still don't like any of this one bit. We're supposed to be rehearsing!"
"Well, why don't we go through our lines while we're doing the inspection?" asked Nazz.
"That works for Rolf!" said Rolf. "Come, my flock! We ride!" He then began to head down one of the halls, with his sheep (which somehow also got into the school) following him.
Slowly but surely, the other kids headed down different halls, too. Kevin headed down by himself, grumbling. Nazz and Jonny also took separate hallways. Sarah and Jimmy went down another hallway together, with the Kanker sisters following suite. Soon, the only ones left in the lunchroom were the Eds, Jack, and Sally.
"Now what?" asked Ed.
"Well, I can take this last hallway," said Jack. "Will you guys be okay staying here?"
"Of course," said Sally, smiling.
"Sure thing, Jackie-boy," said Eddy. "We'll hold the fort down here."
"Okay," said Jack, heading down the last hallway. "Be careful."
When Jack disappeared down the hall, Ed sat down on the floor, Double D looked over the script for the play, and Eddy shifted from one foot to the other.
"Well . . . I'm bored," said Eddy.
"We should take this time to practice the play," said Double D.
"Ooh, I know!" said Ed, grabbing the script. He flipped through the script, stopping at a certain page, then handed it to Eddy. "Let's practice this part!"
Eddy looked at the section Ed was talking about. "Ed, no. . ." he said.
"Aw, come on, Eddy!" said Ed. "You sing that song so well!"
"You get to sing, Eddy?" asked Sally. "I'd like to hear it."
"Oh . . . okay," said Eddy. "But you have to help me, Sally. There's a woman speaking part here."
Sally was surprised. She had never read a script for a play before. "Am I able to do it?" she asked.
"Sure, it's easy," said Eddy, handing her the script. "Just read this character's lines right there, okay?"
"I think so. . ." said Sally.
"And . . . action!" said Double D.
Sally looked at her first line. ". . .And men?" she asked Eddy, who was now in character.
"What do you mean?" asked Eddy.
Sally's eyes widened as she read the next line. "Do you have any sexual attraction toward men?" She looked at Double D. "Are you really going to be saying these things in front of your parents?" she asked him.
"Well, like we've said, the teacher's done a little tweaking . . . " said Double D. "But it's okay for now. Please continue."
Eddy continued with his character. "You're asking me if I'm gay?" he asked slyly. "Am I a homosexual? Is that what you're asking me?"
". . .Yeah," said Sally.
"Well, I wouldn't kick Mick Jagger out of my bed . . . " said Eddy, "but I'm no homosexual. No."
"I see . . . " said Sally. "Then can you tell me why you're so uptight about getting your hair cut?"
"Ooh, here it comes!" said Ed.
Eddy bowed his head. His next line was soft and slow.
Eddy: She asks me why
I'm just a hairy guy
I'm hairy noon and night
Hair that's a fright
I'm hairy high and low
Don't ask me why
Don't know
It's not for lack of bread
Like the Grateful Dead
Darling . . .
Just then, the whole mood of the song changed. It began to feel more upbeat and happy. And Jack immediately noticed it. Before he knew it, he was hopping around wildly so he wouldn't trip, because the other kids had started running through all the different halls. Jack finally made it to the wall, and when he did, he began to hear why everyone was doing this . . .
Eddy: Gimme a head with hair
Long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming,
Streaming, flaxen, waxen
Give me down to there hair
Shoulder length or longer
Here baby, there mama
Everywhere daddy daddy
Haaaaaaaaaaair
Peach Creek Kids: (Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair)
Eddy: Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair
As Kevin walked down his hallway, he silently waited for his cue. As soon as Eddy was done singing, it was his turn.
Kevin: Let it fly in the breeze Haaaaaaaaaaair
And get caught in the trees
Give a home to the fleas in my hair
A home for fleas
A hive for bees
A nest for birds
There ain't no words
For the beauty, the splendor, the wonder
Of my . . .
Kevin: Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair
"Holy cow, Plank!" said Jonny. "Now it's my turn!"
Jonny: I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy
Snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty
Oily, greasy, fleecy
Shining, gleaming, streaming
Flaxen, waxen
Sarah, Jimmy: Knotted, polka-dotted
Twisted, beaded, braided
Eddy: Powdered,
Kevin: flowered,
Jonny: and confettied
Eddy: Mangled,
Kevin: tangled,
Jonny: spangled,
Peach Creek Boys: and spaghettied!
Kevin, Rolf: Oh say can you see
My eyes?
Eddy: If you can
Then my hair's too short
Down to here
Down to there
Down to there
Down to where
It stops by itself
Peach Creek Kids: Do do do
Do do-do do do do
Do do do
Do do-do . . .
Eddy: They'll be ga ga at the go go My hair like Jesus wore it
When they see me in my toga
My toga made of blond
Brilliantined
Biblical hair
Hallelujah I adore it
Hallelujah Mary loved her son
Why don't my mother love me?
Haaaaaaaaaaair
Peach Creek Kids:(Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair)
Eddy: Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My . . .
Kevin: Haaaaaaaaaaair
Peach Creek Kids:(Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair)
Kevin: Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My . . .
Eddy: Haaaaaaaaaaair
Peach Creek Kids:(Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair)
Eddy: Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My . . .
Peach Creek Kids: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIR!
Sally, Double D, and Ed gave Eddy a standing ovation for his performance.
"Yeah, way to sing, Eddy!" said Ed.
"Aw, thanks," said Eddy. "No no, you're too kind . . . "
BANG!
Suddenly, something big and loud banged against the school. This frightened everyone in the halls. Before anyone knew it, everyone was back in the lunchroom.
"So. . .how was it?" asked Double D.
"I think we got everything," said Jack. "Nice song, by the way."
"So. . . what do we do now?" asked Eddy. "We can't just stay in here."
"I know," said Jack. "We need to think of a plan to fight back."
"Any ideas?" asked Kevin.
"Jack?" asked Sally.
"I haven't a clue," said Jack.
"Let's practice another scene!" said Ed. "Scenes give my brain jumpstart!"
"Yeah!" said Jimmy. "This is fun!"
"Well, what scene should we do next?" asked Nazz.
"Plank wants to do a scene!" said Jonny, taking out his script. He flipped to the appropriate page. "Plank wants to do this one!" he said, pointing to a set of lines.
The other Peach Creek Kids looked.
"Oh my . . . " said Double D. "That scene?"
"We'd need someone to play Army man from Oklahoma and Prissy girl from New York," said Rolf.
The Peach Creek Kids looked at Jack and Sally expectantly.
"I'm not sure I like where this is going . . . " said Jack.