It had been a hard week for Gaara. While he'd finally managed to put the issue of finding a wife aside for the moment, and was no longer imagining Ami as his spouse, he still couldn't shake the feeling of embarrassment. He'd prided himself on being calm and collected for the most part, and was quickly finding out that having romantic feelings for someone completely threw that out of the window. Not the mention the fact that because it was his closest companion that he had feelings for, which meant that he couldn't speak to her about it for advice or to unload his worries.
He'd spoken to Kankuro about it a little bit, which helped at first, but now he had a feeling that it was backfiring on him.
Gaara was one hundred percent sure that his brother had planned this. He'd left for a mission to Konoha leaving him alone with Ami for her birthday. Gaara sipped on his coffee as the sun rose, watching a small flock of birds outside of his kitchen window with a frown on his face.
On the bright side however, today was his day off, which he was more than grateful for. Ever since he had realized his feelings for Ami his sleeping patterns had been more erratic and poor than usual. So far there wasn't much of a problem with that, but he could tell that Ami was concerned as to what was going on, even if she was respecting his wishes and not pushing him to speak about it.
He set down his coffee and examined the new set of calligraphy brushes that was on the kitchen table, with a small frown on his face. It wasn't as if he thought the gift he'd gotten from her was bad, but he wasn't entirely sure how much use she'd get out of it. Ami did calligraphy in her spare time to work off stress that Gaara assumed stemmed from her job of protecting him, and already had quite a few brushes. Still, when this gift idea was compared to his first instinct to buy her jewelry, Gaara had a feeling that this would get much more use than some necklace she'd have no reason to wear.
The man stared at the clock as it passed by minute-by-minute, letting Ami sleep in for her birthday. Eventually he rose to make breakfast for him and Ami, making the traditional foods that he knew that she liked, rice, miso soup, several rolled omelets for the two of them before brewing a pot of green tea. Gaara set the table, looking over when he heard Ami pad into the kitchen, still in her pajamas, hair messed up, she looked more asleep than awake. "How come you're making breakfast? I thought it was my turn. Thank you though." With a yawn she walked over to the table and poured a cup of green tea for the both of them.
His brow wrinkled, Gaara wondering for a moment if he'd gotten the day wrong, or if Ami had simply forgotten that today was her birthday. The second seemed more possible, Ami could be a bit forgetful when it came to this type of thing. "It's your birthday, Ami." not even bothering to repress the chuckle that came up with the look of shock and surprise on her face "Did you really forget?" pulling out the chair for her to sit, happy to eat and spend time with her just the two of them.
"I guess I did." There was a small shrug of her shoulders; she'd never been one to make a huge deal out of her birthday, or to expect one. Before she'd moved to Suna, her home village didn't traditionally put much importance on birthdays, and Suna wasn't exactly the sort of village that encouraged excess and unnecessary parties. That all wasn't to mention the fact that for the majority of the past week, Ami had been preoccupied with trying to figure out what in the world was bothering Gaara so much. Sure, she'd told him it was all right that he didn't want to talk about it, but that didn't stop her from worrying about what was bothering him.
Maybe she'd just have to just wait it out until he wanted to tell her what was going on.
That thought didn't help much though. Ami had always been a fairly nervous person when it came to Gaara, and had been taught that assuming the worst in any given situation would mean that she'd be able to protect him better. When it came to problems like this, ones that most other people would think were small issues; Ami couldn't help but envision a worst-case scenario.
It was a habit that she was trying hard to quit now that she'd gotten older and realized that it wasn't a fruitful habit.
With three deep breaths, Ami attempted to quiet the part of her mind that was shouting out all the things that could be going wrong. "Are you feeling any better? I know you don't want to talk about it, but…" allowing her voice to trail off, the woman knew very well that Gaara was aware of how she worried about him, it didn't need to be stated.
"I'm doing better." Taking a sip of his green tea, Gaara found that not only did his stomach drop at her question, he managed to loose his appetite as well. She'd only been awake for a few minutes now, but Gaara got the sense that this birthday so far was not the happy affair he'd wanted it to be. Instead of dwelling on this subject and trying to figure out again how he was going to broach the topic of his feelings, Gaara decided to push the wrapped calligraphy across the table from him, towards where Ami sat. "Open this."
Ami wasn't honestly sure that he was, she'd noticed that he'd been sleeping even less these past few days. Still, she didn't want to push too hard for him to tell her what he was going through at the moment. With a sigh and a small frown on her face, Ami did her best to shove her feelings about the topic down, and opened the gift presented to her.
"A calligraphy set?" As she inspected the gift presented to her, Ami found herself smiling despite the feeling of anxiety she'd been experiencing. She had to admit, Gaara had a good instinct when he picked this out, she'd been eying some brushes similar to this for a while now. "Thank you Gaara." While this didn't make her feel better about all that was going on at the moment, it did give her something to feel excited about which would provide an excellent distraction.
For the rest of that day, on Ami's insistence that the two of them didn't have to do anything special, was fairly ordinary. Gaara finished up any paperwork that he needed to do, Ami practiced her calligraphy, and most of the day was spent relaxing.
Settled down in his office, Gaara tapped his pen on the surface of his desk. His main tactic for getting through this past week had been keeping himself busy, but now with nothing left to work on he found himself once again dwelling on his infatuation with Ami once more. With a pensive look on his face, Gaara pinched the bridge of his nose while he tried to focus his thoughts. Really, the biggest thing on his mind at the moment was the very simple fact that if he told her how he felt, and she didn't feel the same way, it wasn't just their friendship that would be at risk. Ami had stayed in Suna despite the chance to move back home after Shukaku had been extracted, to be his bodyguard. He didn't want to make her so uncomfortable that she would want to go back to her home.
This also wasn't to mention the simple fact that while he considered her a friend, their relationship was still very professional. It was rare for the two of them to be in a situation where Ami wasn't actively taking on the role of a bodyguard. Gaara was not entirely sure what it would be like to date her, when they so rarely spent time together just as friends, not as a bodyguard and her charge.
Sitting up straight, Gaara frowned for a moment as he thought of a way to fix that problem. The redhead Kazekage walked to Ami's room just as the sun was setting, Kankuro had mentioned that going out to dinner would probably be fitting since it was her birthday. "Get dressed Ami—and nicely, I mean. Not in your every day clothes. We're going out to eat in an hour." He let himself chuckle at the look of surprise on her face—it was rare that he was able to get that expression on her face.
Ami stared at the door even after he had closed it, what was he planning? Hopefully it wasn't going to be somewhere too extravagant—she didn't exactly have all that many fancy clothes. It wasn't like she needed them when most days of the year she was on duty as a bodyguard and needed to be ready to fight at any given moment. With a small frown on her face, Ami got up from the floor where she'd been practicing calligraphy, and walked over to her closet to look for a dress. It only took a few moments to locate a simple green sun-dress her mother had sent her a few years back. She shrugged and changed into that, slipping into some simple flat civilian shoes before pausing as she realized she had no weapons on her in this outfit.
Quick to strap a kunai holster to her upper thigh so she at least had something in case they were attacked, Ami adjusted the skirt of the green dress once more to hide her weapons, getting the sense that Gaara wouldn't be all too happy if he realized she had weapons on her.
Why did Gaara feel so nervous? This wasn't a real date, obviously, but Gaara had a feeling that if the two of them would be able to have an enjoyable time tonight when it was the two of them spending time as friends, not as bodyguard and Kazekage, it would be very indicative of their ability to spend time together in a romantic sense. The man smiled when he spotted her coming down the stairs, he hadn't seen Ami in a dress or a skirt even very often—and he had to admit that he liked it. The smile soon faded as he noticed the small bulge on the outside of her thigh, easily noticeable to a trained eye. "Do you really have to bring weapons with you?"
"I'm your guard Gaara—I always keep weapons on me." Ami gave him a cheeky grin as she walked over to him, tapping the kanji on his forehead with her index finger. "Someone's gotta keep you safe, but if you'd like I can bring my sword instead of the kunai?" Ami laughed as she watched the man roll his eyes before leading the way to the restaurant.
Gaara did his best not to smile when she laughed—he truly did. He couldn't help it though; her laughter had the strange effect of bringing a smile to his face almost no matter what. "Fine then, I don't know how you would fight in those shoes though—" chuckling when he looked back and saw her nose scrunch up at the comment. Most people, Ami especially, didn't seem to enjoy when it was pointed out that she'd overlooked something.
It was simple enough to choose which restaurant they ought to go to for dinner; Ami's favorite place was a traditional place right across from his office. He remembered a few years back when Kankuro had asked her why she liked such simple food and she had simply responded that it reminded her of her home village. Though that answer made him feel just a tad guilty about the fact Ami wasn't in her home village because she was with him, it was easy enough to oblige and go to the restaurant. The food was good, his company was nice to say the least, and as the night wore on Gaara realized that despite the fact their relationship was business most of the time, they could spend a night together casually and have a good time.
He wasn't entirely sure whether or not that made his choice any easier though. On one hand it indicated that if their relationship shifted towards something romantic, compared to the friendship and partnership, things could actually go fairly well. On the other hand this deprived him of his previous excuse of not telling Ami because he wasn't sure how they would work as a couple. So really, he had no reason not to tell her, right?
Perhaps he hadn't thought through this whole 'almost date' thing all the way through.
Both Ami and Gaara had an amazing time at dinner. It was rare enough that they went out for a meal, and even more rare that said meal wasn't spent talking about paperwork, the council, missions, or anything of the sort. To be able to relax and not worry about those matters, even if it was for a few hours was an amazing treat. For everyone else in the restaurant, the pair seemed almost unrecognizable. They were used to seeing Ami and Gaara together of course, but rarely did they see the blonde not on her guard, and without her weapons. Gaara seemed even more unusual, it wasn't that their beloved Kazekage never smiled, but he rarely smiled so wide, and hardly ever laughed like he was now.
Neither bodyguard or charge noticed that they'd lost track of time, it wasn't until their waitress politely informed them the restaurant was closing that they realized all the other patrons had finished their meals and left.
As the two walked back to the mansion, Ami couldn't help but smile as the lanterns that lined the streets lit up strand by strand. The stars above them seemed especially bright that night, with a half moon rising over the city's walls. It was simply beautiful. "This has to be one of the best birthday's I've ever had. Thank you Gaara." She flashed him a bright smile, it wasn't until this day where they managed to relax for the entire time that she'd really figured out how much she'd been stressing out lately.
This had proven to be a nice reprieve from everything that had going on the past few days. Ami tilted her head up to look at the stars that dotted the night sky before speaking once again, "I can't believe we're all grown up—it seems like just yesterday that we were just meeting." Not that their first introduction had gone particularly well, Ami seemed to remember Gaara being very determined to murder her. Though that didn't need to be mentioned at the moment.
The woman was more than grateful that they were walking at night and he wouldn't be able to see the blush that she was almost one hundred percent sure was on her cheeks. It was hard in situations like this to keep from telling him about her feelings. It made her think that they could possibly work out, that they could be together, when normally she was pretty sure that they couldn't.
As nice of a man he was, Gaara was horrible with emotions. Ami had been there almost every single time that one of his fan girls had confessed their love to him and every single time he'd frozen up and been unable to give a proper answer. When he came back to his senses he spent the rest of the day in what she referred to as a "Mute Panic", silent and flustered because he wasn't used to such an outright display of affection. None of this was to mention that their communication skills as a pair weren't that great, Ami found herself too proud to tell him the whole truth when it came to her emotions at times, and Gaara had spent the majority of his formative years believing that any emotion besides anger led to weakness. Between the two of them having an open conversation about emotions was almost impossible.
Gaara glanced down at her, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards, "I'm glad you had a good time, I was afraid today would be too simple. I'm not that good at planning big parties like Temari or Kankuro." The Kazekage walked her to where they lived, holding open the door for her to let them both in. The man stared down at her after he had closed the door, surprised to find himself wanting very much to kiss her or tell her how she felt. He wanted to do anything with her if it would make her smile. The man remembered how it felt whenever they accidentally brushed hands or touched and got the strangest sense that kissing would be even nicer than that.
He found himself unconsciously leaning in to kiss her after pondering whether or not he should for so long. Realizing what he was doing about halfway into leaning in, Gaara wrapped his arms around her in an impromptu hug, not really sure what else to do in his panic. A hug would most definitely be better received compared to a random kiss. He pulled himself away without any warning, uncertain as to how to really end this evening on a proper note. Feeling just a bit awkward, Gaara patted Ami on the shoulder before walking away, telling her goodnight and happy birthday over her shoulder as he retreated back to his room.
Ami stood in that spot for a few moments as he walked away, very much confused about what had just happened. Seeing the man she had feelings for rush up the stares like rabid animals were chasing him, she stayed quiet for a few moments before finally speaking. "Goodnight…?"