Astrid had driven Hiccup back to her apartment and ushered him and Toothless inside. Toothless had immediately leapt down from Hiccup's arms and began to explore the new environment, trilling excitedly, bushy tail straight in the air. Hiccup, meanwhile, remained in the doorway, swaying and blinking slowly, looking around like he didn't know how he had gotten there. His body was still exhausted and raw, and if he didn't hold on to something there was a good chance he'd collapse. Right now, he was leaning against the door and watching while Astrid clanged around in her small kitchen. She produced a small bowl, filled it with water and left it on the floor for Toothless, before approaching Hiccup again, sighing, and telling him they needed to do something about the fact that he was still bleeding steadily in his pants. He asked her fuzzily if she had a band aid, and she nodded steadily and replied that she had something like that.

So that was the story as to how Hiccup had found himself in the emergency room with one of Astrid's maxi pads in his underpants. Hey, at least the doctor had seemed impressed. It wasn't like the thing wasn't doing its intended job. And that was also the day Hiccup finally developed a healthy respect for the experience of menstruation; the damn thing kept sliding around and generally felt like an adult diaper. He couldn't imagine wearing one for a week every month.

Now, they were on their way back to Astrid's apartment with a prescription of painkillers and advice to stay off his feet for a while and get as much rest as possible. The bleeding had been the result of a couple of small veins in his rectum that had burst, but luckily there was no permanent damage to his internal organs, and the bleeding was slowing down now. Astrid still wanted him to wear a pad for at least tonight and into tomorrow. Bloodstains were a bitch to get out, she said, and even though she was a pro at removing them from her sheets, she didn't want to do it if she didn't have to. Hiccup could tell she was just trying to cover up how worried she was.

It was also worth mentioning that she had asked if the ER could document Hiccup's injuries so that they'd have evidence if they wanted to drag Heather into court and press charges, and Astrid had every desire to. Hiccup had protested at first, saying he was sick of her being part of his life and just wanted to start forgetting about her, but Astrid had insisted. Hiccup had eventually given up, too sick with exhaustion and in too much pain to put up a fight. He was sure his parents would be on Astrid's side anyway when he told them.

Oh Jesus, his parents. He had called his mother while they were in the ER, and she had been absolutely frantic when he explained why he was there. When he told her about Astrid and that her apartment was where he would be staying for now, Valka had immediately proclaimed that she was going to kiss that girl when she saw her. She also said that she and his father would be on the next plane out, telling him she loved him over and over again and trying to hold back tears. After they had bid their goodbyes with a promise that she would see him in the morning, he had heard her voice echoing with an authority that used to send him comatose states of terror when he was a child, a voice that commanded his father to start packing, "hurry up Stoick, our baby needs us!" Hiccup couldn't help but laugh, home feeling closer than it had been for many years.

Astrid helped him back through her apartment again, hooking his arm over her shoulders and leading him to a chair in her kitchen. He sat down heavily in it, and then groaned harshly when he forgot about his sore lower body. Toothless immediately bounded in from the back of the apartment and twined around Hiccup's legs. Hiccup scratched his head, watching as Astrid began to fly around the kitchen once more, taking out odds and ends.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Making you dinner," she said, placing a pan filled with water on the stove and setting it to start heating up, "You're skin and bones, Hiccup. Hope you're prepared, because I'm going to cook you something so heavy and warm, that not only will you conk right out tonight but you'll gain ten pounds while you do it."

A sleepy, stupid smile made its way to his face. "Sounds amazing." His empty stomach burbled pitifully in agreement. He shifted around, feeling the dried blood on his bottom pull at the skin uncomfortably. "Ugh, I'd really like to shower too, if you don't mind."

"Not at all," Astrid shook her head, "As long as you don't mind smelling like a banana smoothie when you're done. That's the flavor of my body wash. Also, I was thinking I need to stop by your apartment and pick up some things for you if you and Toothless are going to be here for a while."

Alarm immediately drove away the calming warmth flowing in his veins and replaced it with vicious ice. "No," he said immediately, "No, I don't think you should go back there."

Astrid poured some noodles into a measuring cup. "Babe, you need clean underwear. And Toothless needs his food and litterbox. I'm not letting him piss and shit in my closet."

"But Heather"-

"Sweetheart, I am not afraid of her. She gets near me, and I'm going to knock her the fuck out, alright? You just better hope she doesn't give me an early excuse to take revenge for you."

Hiccup wilted in his seat, flicked his eyes to the floor and insisted in a small voice, "But I don't want her to hurt you."

Astrid stepped away from the oven, and once she stood in front of him, she took his head in her hands and softly kissed his forehead. It felt like a warm butterfly had landed there, a warm, sweet smelling butterfly with tickly blond hair. She continued to hold his face, tilting his head up to look at her, before she assured him, "She won't hurt me. And you don't have to look at the floor anymore, alright? This is a safe place where you don't have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Besides, you have really pretty eyes, I want to see them."

Hiccup smiled up at her, closed his eyes and leaned his cheek into her right palm, nuzzling it with sleepy affection.

His stomach growled obnoxiously loud, angry that Hiccup was wasting his time satisfying the needs of his heart when it was so damn empty. Hiccup's eyes popped open and his cheeks filled with heat without his permission. Luckily, Astrid took in stride.

"Oh babe," she laughed sympathetically, pecking his cheek this time, "Alright, I'm hurrying, I know you're hungry."

Hiccup sighed unhappily when her wonderful, soft hands left his skin and instead busied themselves with the pots on the oven once more. He thought that he honestly wouldn't have minded starving if she kept touching him like that. It had been too long since someone had touched him in a non-violent, loving manner, and the part of him that craved that soaked it up as a cat soaks up the sun. He almost wanted to pull Astrid back and just ask her to run her fingers through his hair, screw it if it was weird. Touch was such an essential sensation to the human experience; it had the power to heal and destroy, to forge everlasting bonds and tear people apart. He couldn't believe he had tolerated being hit and hurt for so long when comfort had been literally within his reach this whole time.

Before he knew it, the delicious, rich smell of something saucy filled the tiny kitchen, making Hiccup's mouth water so fiercely his salivary glands actually ached a little. Astrid barely managed to set his plate in front of him before he was attacking his dinner with his fork. He felt her stunned eyes on him as she sat across from him to eat her own dinner, watching as huge mouthfuls disappeared down his throat with hardly a pre-functionary chew. He couldn't help it; the minute the heady smell had begun torturing him, the only disgustingly primal thought left in his mind was to fill his belly as quickly as humanly possible. The first plate was finished off embarrassingly fast before he was filling it again and eating once more at the same breakneck pace.

If he had known it, Astrid's appetite had completely fled at seeing him eat so desperately.

Hiccup only began to slow down halfway through his second plate, finally stopping when he polished off a third. Even then, he still felt the need to scrape up the sauce on the bottom, refusing to waste one scrap of food. Finally, his fork clinked to a stop, and Hiccup leaned back in his chair as far as he could without hurting himself. He felt dizzy with relief, and when he rested his arms across his belly it felt hard, and he could tell it had distended quite a bit to accommodate the massive meal.

"Thank you," he said sincerely, "Thank you so much, you're an angel, Astrid."

"Hiccup, when was the last time you ate?"

He shrugged dolefully. "I don't know. Lately I've been too stressed to eat much. It's…just a side-effect of dating Heather."

The silence that followed was awkward, and Hiccup felt the need to fill it with explanation. "I mean, it's not that I never ate, it's just sometimes I'd forget for a while, or I'd be too hyped up by nerves to get much down. So the times Heather would be gone for a while, I'd relax, and then I'd be so hungry I'd eat, like, everything in the apartment. Then I'd…I'd feel so guilty sometimes that I'd force myself to throw it up again later. Like I didn't deserve to eat enough to keep myself alive."

Astrid shook her head slowly, her face a perfect picture of shock and deep sympathy. She'd been wearing that expression a lot today, Hiccup mused wryly. "Hiccup…" she breathed, as if saying his name like she was on the verge of tears said it all. It really did, though.

"It's okay," he assured her quickly, "It's okay. I know that was bullshit thinking and only did it when I was at my most depressed. Like, that pasta was amazing." He gestured to his empty plate. "I have every intention of keeping it down."

He shifted, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. Now that his hunger had been satisfied, the pain of his bruised insides began to assert itself in earnest. Everything from his lower abdomen to his upper thighs was a mess, and he could feel everything pulsing hotly with every beat of his heart. His face pinched into a tense grimace, and he tried not to whine through his teeth as he fought to find a comfortable position in the hard wooden chair. Astrid rose from her seat and walked around the table to his side.

"You're hurting, aren't you?" she murmured, placing a hand on his shoulder. Hiccup nodded, pressing his lips together in a thin line.

"You think it'd be safe to take those painkillers since I ate?" he asked, glancing up at her.

"Nah, I'd wait to take them right before bed," Astrid said, "Only because the minute they hit your stomach you are going to pass out hard, and you said you wanted to shower before bed. I'd prefer if you didn't faint in my shower and break your head open."

Hiccup nodded glumly, seeing her point. Besides, the hot water might actually help soothe some of the pain away. Astrid rubbed a hand up and down his back, before she let it travel up his neck and then run backwards through his hair. Hiccup shivered and sighed an involuntary moan, eyes closing against his will. When she pulled her hand away and said she should get going so she could come back sooner, Hiccup's eyes opened dazedly and he whined petulantly.

"Don't stop," he begged, "That felt good."

Astrid slipped on her shoes and said, "Oh honey, don't worry. If you want later I can stroke your hair until you fall asleep, okay?"

She began to slip on her coat, and his heart began to resemble a trapped bird in his chest. "No, don't leave! Please Astrid, I don't want you to go."

"Hiccup"-

He limped out of his chair and grabbed her hand with both of his, stopping her movements. His eyes were wide and pleading, filled with the terror that ripped through him at the prospect of being alone. Nothing good ever happened when he was alone; in the past, he had either drank himself into a coma, or spent his evenings tense and scared out of his mind as he prepared himself for Heather's inevitable return. In the light with Astrid distracting him with her company, the demons that hid in the dark waiting to chew him up and spit him out over and over again couldn't hurt him. If she left…

"Please don't leave me," he breathed pitifully, tightening his grip on her hand.

Astrid regarded him with a sigh, and he could tell she was getting frustrated. He felt terrible and immediately began to spill a string of apologies out of habit. He let go of her hand and backed away, and when she raised a hand to place on his shoulder, he flinched. Astrid retracted her hand, stunned into a standstill, unsure how to help the trembling mess of guilt and fear Hiccup had turned into. Her face shifted into one of heartbreak when he lifted his arms to wrap around himself, the only comforting embrace he had received for many years.

Slowly, she approached him again as she might a spooked colt. She murmured reassurances and made sure her movements were slow and deliberate. But Hiccup didn't wait for her to finish coming up to him before he pulled her into an embrace, pressing his face into her neck. His face was wet with the beginnings of stressed tears, and Astrid, bless her and the endless supply of patience she seemed to have with him, squeezed him back, rubbing his back reassuringly.

"Hiccup," she said softly, but firmly, "I know it's going to take a while for this to sink in, so I'll just put the thought in your head now. You don't have to apologize for every little thing, and you don't have to worry about me or anyone else hitting you ever again."

"I know, I'm sorry"-

"Hiccup."

Hiccup keened with frustration, crying a little harder and holding Astrid a little tighter to him. He felt so helpless, like his body was trying to tear itself in half and there was nothing he could do to keep it together. He clung to his only source of comfort like a lifeline, feeling sick with guilt that he needed her so desperately and she had to put up with his craziness, and yet it made him feel faint with terror to think about her walking through that door and then never see her again.

However, Astrid seemed to possess some magic ability to know exactly what to say to smooth his ruffled nerves, because a moment later she mumbled over his shoulder, "I want you to go shower and relax, alright? And if you get scared again, just tell yourself 'she's coming back. She said she's coming back and she will. I'm safe here. This is a safe place.' Once you say it enough, and then when I do come back, you'll see it's true and you'll start to believe it."

Hiccup shuddered and nodded into her neck, then with a rough sigh, he released her. Astrid then leaned up slowly and kissed his cheek; a reward for this small step and a comfort all in one motion.

She opened the apartment door and turned back to him. "I'm going to lock the door behind me, but it's not to keep you in here, okay? I figured you'd feel safer if the door was locked."

He nodded, still unable to form words. His hands tightened into fists at his sides, trying to keep himself for reaching for her again. He couldn't; she had rewarded him, he didn't want to go back on that. When Astrid stepped outside, she said, "Remember: 'she's coming back. I'm safe here.' I want to hear you say it before I leave."

Hiccup swallowed, and repeated the expected words, feeling calmer more from the approving smile Astrid flashed him than anything else. Maybe she was right. If she had faith in him he could do this, maybe he could do this.

Then the door shut with a click, and he was alone.

Hiccup shook himself and looked down, seeing Toothless trot over and sit himself on his shoes. He was suddenly immensely thankful his cat was still here; it gave Hiccup an excuse to talk out loud and make the apartment not seem so quiet.

"Alright bud, I have my orders," he said, "Want to shower with me?"

"Moooooowww."

"Alright. Someone else might as well smell like a banana smoothie with me."

000

True to her word, Astrid actually returned before Hiccup made it out of the shower. That either said Hiccup was slow in the shower or Astrid had broken more speed records today, but either way, she made sure to announce her presence by knocking on the door. When he told her she was okay to come in, she laid her duffle bag on the floor of the bathroom that she had filled with as many of his things as she could manage. He thanked her, and she heard the relief in his voice as he did so.

"You didn't run into Heather, did you?" he asked cautiously.

"No," Astrid replied, "She wasn't there, and the apartment was unlocked."

"Huh."

He didn't say anything else for a bit, and the only sound that filled the space was the running water from the showerhead. Astrid decided to quickly change the subject. "Well, on the bright side I came back, just like I said I would, didn't I? And you sound safe enough to me."

Hiccup laughed, "Yeah, yeah, you did come back."

Then she left the bathroom to concentrate on getting herself ready for bed. It was getting pretty late, it had been one crazy, emotional day, and she was more than ready to just crash.

Soon enough, Hiccup emerged from the bathroom in comfortable looking pajamas, hair damp and Toothless following behind him, just as damp. The cat seemed quite pleased with himself as he trotted off to no doubt lick himself dry. Astrid smirked and walked up to him.

"Alright, let me see," she said, and placed her nose by his neck, taking a drag of his scent, "Yup, you smell nice and fruity."

"Man, I don't care if I smell like dog shit, I'm clean and that's all that matters," Hiccup shook his head, "Besides, you brought me my body wash from home so I won't smell like this tomorrow."

Astrid giggled. "Ah yes, the infamous body wash. You understand that whenever you walked a path a work you'd leave a trail of girls coming in their pants behind you every time you wore that stuff?"

"Did that include you?" Hiccup flashed her the biggest shit eating grin she had ever seen in her life, and all the eloquent Astrid Hofferson could do was stutter for a moment, turn red, and throw his bottle of painkillers at him.

"Dude, take your meds and go away," she huffed, and Hiccup only laughed harder.

Astrid nodded towards her bed while he popped the pills in his mouth and washed them down with water. "You can take my bed. With how much you're hurting, I don't want you sleeping anywhere else. I can take the couch."

Hiccup shook his head quickly and took her hand, leading her into her bedroom. "No," he pleaded, "You said you'd stay with me until I fell asleep. I don't want to be alone, and I know it's stupid, I'm sorry."

"Hiccup, I really am going to smack you if you apologize one more time," she said, but there was no heat in her words. When Hiccup still looked guilty, she softened and sat him down on the bed before sitting next to him. "I just don't want you to feel sorry for things that aren't your fault. The shitty part is you've programmed yourself to automatically say sorry for everything you think you do wrong, and you always think you're doing something wrong and so you constantly feel guilty. I don't want you to feel guilty anymore, babe. I want you to feel confident."

Hiccup bowed his head and sighed heavily, his head lolling slightly as the drugs began to take effect. "I'm a long way away from anything resembling confident."

Astrid nodded in agreement, and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, saying, "I know. But today is the last day of your old life and the first day of a new, better one. Your parents are going to be here in the morning and when you see them again, you're going to feel much better."

"Mhmm. I miss them." With another sigh, he turned slightly and gently butted his head against Astrid's shoulder, like a cat wanting attention. His eyes were closed, and it was clear he was shutting down before her eyes. The weight of the day was finally catching up with him to crush him, and his full stomach and warm, clean body just utterly finished him off. His head gained ten pounds against her shoulder in the space of five seconds, and he mumbled, "M' tired, Astrid."

Seeing him so sleepy, pliant, and adorable sent an unbidden rush of affection so strong through her that her eyes actually watered for a moment. Astrid kissed his forehead, and he murmured something happy in tone but intelligible as a response. Before she lost him entirely, she replied, "I know babe, let's get you tucked in then, shall we?"

Hiccup only had the strength to move while she opened the bed, and then he fell limply back onto the mattress. He fumbled for the blankets in a dreamlike trance, his eyes too heavy to keep open anymore. So, Astrid helped him by pulling the blankets back and tossing them back over him again until they were up to his nose. Then, she turned off the lights and climbed in with him. The instant he felt her weight dip the mattress beside him, he cuddled along the length of her, sliding down until his head was laying halfway on her shoulder. Astrid lay completely still while Hiccup shifted around, trying to get comfortable, until he found a comfy spot and let loose a half sigh, half moan that indicated he was content. Astrid only had to stroke his hair for all of about two minutes before his heavy breathing told her that he was sleeping and sleeping hard. His body had a lot of recovering to do, and a herd of elephants playing percussion in her bedroom would have only resulted in Hiccup snuggling down further in the blankets and then snoring in answer.

Oh, and it was all worth it. The warm body that clung so tightly to hers, that had indeed begun to snore away in her ear…the fact that she knew he was safe with her was the greatest relief and comfort Astrid had experienced in her twenty years of life.

And with that thought, Astrid buried her nose in his fruity-smelling hair, and fell asleep to the lullaby made of his warm scent and the cadence of his breathing.