Edward and Bella finally take their relationship to the next level… (please be kind, this is my first lemon).
October 14, 2001
Since our first kiss on my birthday, Edward and I have shared many more kisses and touches. I find myself really enjoying this aspect of our relationship. I can hardly believe that only two months ago I was a shy, timid girl who panicked if Edward stepped too close to me. Now, I crave his closeness. In fact, I surprised myself a few nights ago when I initiated a kiss while we were sitting on the couch. Edward had been reading to me from one of his books and I was so focused on watching his lips that I wasn't even paying attention to what he was actually saying. I finally couldn't take it any longer and I basically attacked him. At first I was worried that he would be angry with me for being so bold but it quickly became obvious that Edward wasn't the least bit upset.
As our kisses have grown longer and more passionate over the last few weeks, I've found myself yearning for something more but I don't know what that something more is. There have been moments, like that night on the couch, where I feel an ache between my legs that I can't describe. I promised Edward that I would be honest about what I'm feeling but I'm not quite sure how to approach the subject with him.
As Edward and I crawl into bed tonight I finally work up the courage to say something, "Edward?"
"Yes, love?"
"I wanted to talk to you," I tell him hesitantly.
"Of course. What is it?"
"I…ugh… I wanted to talk to you about us. How we've become closer lately?"
"Okay?"
"I…I…I don't know how to say this!" I stutter, covering my face with my hands.
"Darling, whatever it is, it can't be that bad. You can tell me anything." He soothes while rubbing small circles on my back.
You can do this Bella!
I lift my face from my hands and look into Edward's eyes. "You said you wanted me to be honest about the physical side of our relationship." I begin.
Edward nods his head, encouraging me to continue.
"Well, I just want you to know that I've really enjoyed what we've done recently and I think I might be ready for more…" I trail off.
Edward perks up and appears excited about what I've just said.
"I feel the same way Bella. I'm ready to move forward as well."
"I don't know what comes next…besides the obvious, of course." I tell him uncertainly.
Edward is quiet as he ponders what I've said. After what feels like an eternity he pulls me toward him so that I'm wrapped in his arms and my head is resting on his chest.
"Lately, as we've kissed, I've touched you rather intimately, but over your clothes." He starts. "I think we're at a point where it's time to discover each other without such boundaries."
I can feel my entire body tense and my breathing pick up at his words. I knew this would happen eventually but I'm incredibly nervous at the prospect of Edward seeing me without anything on. I was raised in a very conservative, very modest community so the idea of anyone seeing me without clothes on, even my own mother, is hard to fathom.
"Bella, love, you're so tense." He whispers into my ear. "If you're not ready, we don't have to do that."
I can feel my face flaming as I turn my head to look up into Edward's eyes.
"No, I agree that this is the next step. I'm…just…nervous. What if…"
"What if what, darling?" He asks me tenderly.
"What if you don't like what you see? What if I'm not good enough? I have no idea what I'm doing!"
Edward pulls us up into a sitting position and then he takes my face in his hands.
"Bella," He says with conviction. "You're perfect to me. You are so beautiful that sometimes it takes my breath away. It would be impossible for me to not love what I see.
"This is all new to me as well. We'll learn together. Trust me when I tell you that anything we do will be perfect to me."
His sweet words bring tears to my eyes.
"I do trust you."
"Then let me show you how much you mean to me. I…I love you Bella."
The tears I've been trying to keep at bay finally fall down my cheeks. I throw my arms around his neck and whisper into his neck, "I love you too, Edward."
Edward pulls my head back so we are looking into each other's eyes. He leans forward to kiss me and before I know it we're getting lost in each other. Somehow, I wind up on my back with my head on my pillow and Edward's body is now covering my own. It's like he's everywhere and the feeling is amazing. While Edward cradles my head with one hand, his other hand moves down my body until he's holding the end of my nightgown.
Breathlessly, Edward pulls away from our kiss and asks me with his eyes if he can continue. My body is on fire and I nod my assent.
Slowly, he pulls the nightgown up my body and his hand brushes my skin along the way. When the nightgown is just above my waist Edward's eyes burn into mine. I know what he wants and I'm too worked up not to give it to him. I gently push Edward off of me and sit up with my arms over my head so he can easily pull the nightgown off.
Once it's off I can feel my body flush as Edward looks at me for the first time. He looks hungry with desire as his eyes take in every inch of me. Seeing the look of appreciation on his face soon turns my embarrassment into a sense of empowerment. My hands take on a mind of their own and I begin to unbutton Edward's nightshirt.
When he looks at me questioningly I tell him, "If you get to see me then I should get to see you as well."
He smirks in response.
Once his shirt is removed, Edward lays me down again and we begin kissing at a frenzied pace. Our hands are everywhere and when Edward's hands approach my breasts he asks, "is this ok?"
"Yes," I whisper.
The feel of Edward's hands on my breasts for the first time makes the ache between my legs intensify. As Edward continues paying attention to my breasts, his kisses move to my neck and then slowly move down chest. When he takes my right nipple into his mouth, my back arches off the bed and I whimper because it feels so good. We continue to explore and taste each other for a long while until finally Edward's hands grip my panties.
"Can I take them off?" he pleads.
I'm too overcome with desire to form words so I moan in response. Like when Edward first took my nightgown off, his eyes are once again roaming the newly exposed skin.
Edward takes my knees in his hands and hesitantly asks me, "Can I try something?"
"Huh?" I manage to get out.
"My dad told me about some ways in which a husband can pleasure his wife. Can I try something?"
I'm immediately nervous and unsure but I trust Edward so I give him permission to continue.
Edward begins to pull my legs apart and I can feel myself turning bright red knowing Edward can see me… down there. What must that look like?
Once my legs are completely spread apart, Edward lays down on his stomach with his head inches above my center. My immediate reaction is to close my legs but Edward's hands are holding my thighs and he keeps me open to him.
He leans down, kisses my inner thigh and whispers, "Relax."
I let my head fall back onto the pillow and I close my eyes. I'm mortified but I said that I would trust him so I try to relax as best I can.
The unexpected feel of his tongue on my most intimate of parts has me crying out in pleasure. Who knew that such a thing could feel so amazing? As Edward licks and sucks I become so worked up that I initially barely register the feel of his finger sliding into me. My first instinct is to tense at the intrusion but it feels so good in conjunction with his mouth on me that I get lost in the feeling. In… out… in… out… lick… suck… in… out. Before long Edward has added a second finger and I can feel myself climbing to a peak and then before I realize what's happening, my body explodes in pleasure and I'm crying out Edward's name. My entire body is spasming and I finally have to push Edward's face away from my center because the feeling has become too intense.
For several, long moments I lay there completely spent and panting. When I finally look at Edward, he's moved into a sitting position and is looking down at me with a mixture of smugness and pride.
When I finally regain the ability to move my limbs, I reach out and pull him into my arms. "Thank you," I whisper and begin kissing him in earnest. I can feel Edward's hard member against my stomach and in a moment of complete clarity and confidence I tell him, "I'm ready."
He pulls away and looks at me with a mixture of hope and uncertainty. "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure." I whisper. "I'm nervous but I know it's impossible for me to not be. You've been amazingly patient over the last couple of months when you didn't have to be. I want to give this to you and truly become your wife in every way...please."
"If you're sure, then I would love nothing more than to make love you Bella."
Edward quickly takes off his sleep pants and moves so he's cradled between my legs. He leans in to kiss me as he guides himself to my entrance. Ever so slowly, he pushes the tip of his penis inside me. As he rocks in and out, he pushes more of himself inside. The feeling of being stretched and the burning sensation that accompanies it almost overwhelms me. My mother warned me that pain was to be expected and I try to keep myself calm and relaxed as Edward continues to push his way inside.
When he finally pushes past my barrier and is inside of me as far as he can go, Edward kisses my face, lips and neck as I adjust.
"Are you ok?" he strains to ask.
"Yes… just give me a minute." I manage to tell him.
As I breathe through the pain I open my eyes and look at Edward. He's staring at me with concern and I can see him straining as he tries to keep still.
I take my left hand and stroke his cheek. "I'm ok." I then give him a smile and kiss him hoping it will encourage him to continue.
Edward takes the hint and begins a slow rhythm moving in and out of me. As he does so, he kisses me and whispers words of love and adoration. Eventually, the burning sensation eases and becomes mixed with the stirrings of pleasure I felt before with his fingers. I don't feel the intense build up of pleasure like I did before but I figure this is to be expected seeing as how it's my first time.
Watching Edward is truly my favorite part of the experience. I imagine the look he has on his face right now mirrors the one I had on mine when he was pleasuring me earlier. His movements start to become erratic and all too soon Edward cries out and I feel warmness spread inside of me.
He collapses on top of me and I wrap my arms and legs around him and I kiss his sweaty brow and face. After a few minutes, our breathing returns to normal and Edward pulls out of me and moves to lie beside me on the bed.
He pulls me into his arms and I wrap my arms around him as well while laying my head on his chest.
"Thank you, Bella." He says. "That was amazing."
"It was for me too." I reply shyly.
He takes my chin in his hand and tilts my head up so he can look into my eyes. "Are you sure? I could tell how uncomfortable it was for you. I could read it all over your face."
"Edward, you and I both know that was to be expected. There was nothing you could have done to prevent that. Despite the discomfort, I still enjoyed it because I loved seeing how us being together could bring you so much pleasure." I tell him with absolute sincerity.
My words seem to touch Edward and he pulls me into a passionate kiss. "I promise it won't always be like that for you." He promises. "Soon, we will both find our pleasure from making love."
"If you had told me that when we first married I wouldn't have believed you but now, I know what you're saying is true. I'm looking forward to many more nights like this with you." I tell him emotionally. "I love you Edward."
"I love you too Bella, so much."
We enjoy some time in each other's arms before Edward leaves the bed and goes into the bathroom to get a damp cloth so we can clean up. After he's done, he takes me back into his arms and with a smile on my face, I fall asleep listening to the beat of Edward's heart.
Thank you for reading!