CHAPTER IV:

Sara leaned in for another kiss, more sure of herself this time. The kiss was longer, more passionate. Tegan slipped her arms around Sara's waist and pulled her closer. Sara's hand inched up Tegan's torso and slid down the zipper on Tegan's jacket. Her hand crept inside the top of Tegan's sweater and she pressed her palm against her sister's warm, bare chest. Sara felt her sister's heart beating against her cool fingers and she kissed Tegan to the rhythm of their pulses beating together, becoming one.

After a long moment, Sara slipped her hand up, past Tegan's collarbone and around the back of her neck, then across to her shoulder and into a needy embrace. She pulled her lips away from Tegan's and buried her face against her sister's neck, gripping her tightly.

Tegan welcomed the pull. "Shhh…." Sara's grip was so fierce, so intense. Tegan didn't know what else to say. So she just closed her eyes and hugged her back, hoping that Sara felt as safe as she did, and wishing that they could always be as close as they were in that moment.

The twins fell apart as a vibration sounded. Tegan watched Sara struggle to tug her phone from the front pocket of her jeans.

"Yeah," Sara said, breathless. "Yeah, I'm with her." She locked eyes with her sister.

Tegan smiled and rolled her eyes as she turned away, letting out a long, deep breath. The cold air in her lungs felt unreal. The whole day felt unreal. They could have been in a dream, for all she knew. The crazy bus accident, this tiny street along an unrealistically green park, the shivers in her core like the vibration of Sara's phone, the kisses on the shaded sidewalk… She rubbed her eyes, pushing her hands across her face and through her hair. She tried to clear her mind.

"K, thanks. Yeah, ten minutes." Sara hung up the phone and looked at it in her hands, afraid to look up.

Tegan stuffed her hands into her pockets. "Ted?" she prompted.

"Shaun," Sara replied, pushing her phone back into her jeans.

Tegan nodded, watching her sister.

Sara bit her lip and turned her body in the direction from which they came. "We should probably start heading back."

…..

The slow crunch of gravel filled the air once again as the twins ambled, side by side.

Tegan could feel her sister's nerves, so she tried not to let her own show when she couldn't stand the silence any longer. "So… what do we do now?" A breathy chuckle escaped her lungs.

Sara focused her sight on a blond boy swinging on the other side of the park. "What do you mean?" She knew exactly what she meant.

"Well…" Tegan kicked a pebble and watched it bounce into the street. "I mean… we probably shouldn't really tell anybody…" She glanced at Sara. "…right?"

Sara's stroll slowed almost to a standstill as she watched the blond boy's sister rush to give him a push when his swing slowed. "Yeah…" Sara closed her eyes. The cold air stung her lungs and her heart felt strained. "…I guess we shouldn't." It hurt to breathe.

"Hey." She faced her sister. "Look at me."

Sara's eyes slowly found Tegan's.

"It's gunna be okay."

"Yeah…. I know." She admitted, slipping her hand into Tegan's.

Tegan's heart jumped at the response. They started walking again.

"It's just that we just made life so much harder for ourselves, you know? And I already feel so, so stuck." Sara stammered. "I just… I don't know how we're going to do it."

Their fingers played with each other, gently.

"We can do it though, Sara. I know we can… You know we can… And you know what?"

"Hmm?"

"When you think we can't do it… think of this walk."

Sara nodded slightly.

"You think of this walk, when your swing gets too low… the fresh air and the bus accident and the kids in the park… and before you know it I will be behind you, pushing you so high into the blue that you won't even be able to see this miserable world."

Sara chuckled sweetly and pushed her hair behind her ear. She loved it when Tegan spoke in her dramatic voice.

"And as long as you keep smiling like that, I'll be okay."

Sara smiled at her sister. "Thanks, Tegan."

They reached the end of the block and Tegan stopped. She reached up around Sara's shoulders and pulled her into another fierce hug before they had to act like nothing had happened.

"Don't forget it, okay?" Tegan whispered.

"I promise."

Tegan pressed her lips on her sister's neck, just under her ear, as they let go of each other. The twins shared a glance and a deep breath before they turned the corner and headed toward the bus.

…..

When they got back to the bus, Sara went straight to her bunk and Tegan changed into sweats before curling into a ball in her seat at the table. She put Sara's headphones on, which were still on the table from before the accident, and pressed play. She let the music fill her ears and the memory fill her heart

I don't want to get over you…