A/N at the bottom…
New Born
Muse
Link it to the world
Link it to yourself
Stretch it like a birth squeeze
The love for what you hide
The bitterness inside
Is growing like the new born
When you've seen, seen
Too much, too young, young
Soulless is everywhere
Hopeless time to roam
The distance to your home
Fades away to nowhere
How much are you worth
You can't come down to earth
You're swelling up, you're unstoppable
'cause you've seen, seen
Too much, too young, young
Soulless is everywhere
Destroy the spineless
Show me it's real
Wasting our last chance
To come away
Just break the silence
'cause I'm drifting away
Away from you
Link it to the world
Link it to yourself
Stretch it like it's a birth squeeze
And the love for what you hide
And the bitterness inside
Is growing like the new born
When you've seen, seen
Too much, too young, young
Soulless is everywhere
Destroy the spineless
Show me it's real
Wasting their last chance
To come away
Just break the silence
'cause I'm drifting away
Away from you
Haven
Chapter Three
What the hell did I do to deserve such crappy existence? The odds seem to stack up against my very presence, dealing me blow after blow of unwanted circumstances and erroneous decisions. I mean, how many people can say they threw up on a doctor…that they rear ended that morning and had met the day before in some Voodoo vortex of chance.
Not many.
God, being such a magnet for inconvenience gets old after awhile.
Hour after hour passing has driven me to the point of madness. Since the most disgusting interlude of my life, Edward "The Evasive" Cullen has yet to grace me with his presence, leaving me here bored as hell and frustrated beyond any fucking measure. Beside the fact that I want to apologize for covering him with the minimal contents of my stomach, I needed to get out of here.
Missing two classes at Lewis and Clark would undoubtedly screw with my entire weekly rhythm but beside that – I had to work in less than an hour.
The stale hospital room was shrinking into me, suffocating me with its sterility and absence of vitality. Despite the creepy hospital vibe, my mind was less fuzzy; every nurse for the past hour assuring me that all my tests had turned out fine. Having all that to stew on was maddening. Why the hell they refuse to go and discharge me is beyond reason.
All in all, I was in a clusterfuck type situation and didn't possess much control in the matter.
Control was all I had left.
Quietly, without trepidation, I moved myself out of the uncomfortable confines of my hospital bed and snatched up my purse and shoes. Pushing my feet into my leather boots, I peeked around the side of the door and looked for signs of the Voodoo doctor. Seeing nothing but nurses scuttling about I stepped confidently out and walked toward the nurse's station of the ER.
I approached the desk and leaned down on the counter casually. "Excuse me?" I asked a bit rudely but with a smile that reeked of falseness. A red haired nurse looked up from her computer. "Hi, yes. I need to get the hell out of here because I have a life that needs to be lived, so if you could be doll and discharge me that would be great."
Red seemed a bit stunned.
"A discharge needs to be given by your residing doctor. Who is your doctor Miss?"
"Cullen, but I would rather just do this without dealing with him." I pushed.
Without even batting an eyelash, nurse fucking Betty picked up her phone and made a big mistake. "Paging Doctor Cullen to the ER, Doctor Cullen to the ER please."
I let out an aggravated growl and pushed myself off the counter. "Have it your way Red. I believe you have all of my information so please, just send me the bill."
With that admittedly dramatic address I was off, the medical world be damned. The longer I was here the more I remembered things that I had worked damned hard at burying away in my psyche. The sterile clean smell, the beeps of machines, and the madness of the ER in general. Everything reminded me of the day my life changed forever, the day everything was taken away. I could be a hard ass with a foul mouth but I was human it seemed. So without further adieu, I stalked toward the automatic doors and didn't look back. I knew they couldn't keep me if I wanted to leave so fuck'em.
The fresh Portland air hit me like a bag of happiness, making my head almost dizzy with its fresh properties. There was a misty drizzle falling around me, dampening my clothes but not my spirit. I stood there, taking in the opportunity to cleanse myself of that horrid hospital smell as I realized I was unsure of what to do. I didn't have my car, a fact that made my things tricky. I could call a cab or take TriMet or even just walk. Time wasn't on my side though and Jake hated when I was late and not "ready". Technically we (as in the girls) were to show up to the club pin-up ready, as Jake liked to say. He didn't like when members saw us as ourselves, make-up less and well, normal.
These men paid a high price to even become a member, not to mention the bills they offered when I danced. Because of that knowledge I never questioned Jake's rules. Well that and I saw what happened to the girls that broke any of the agreements we signed and lets just say, that I avoid situations like that with most people, but especially Jacob Black.
He was a kind employer overall but he had a temper. He was a fellow control freak like me but perhaps to a different extreme. Let's just say that I act like I trust him but I wouldn't dare. He knows exactly what he's done for most of us and isn't shy about threatening to take it all away.
And sadly, I happen to be his favorite entertainment.
Maybe it's because I never step out of line, or perhaps because I will dance for anyone he puts me with. It could be a number of things…lately I have even considered that he might be attracted to me, which, honestly…will not fucking work out for us. He knows my rules as well as I know his. I wouldn't have worked for him otherwise.
The problem though with a possible attraction or possessiveness isn't that it would complicate a dynamic at the club or even that it would break my rules. The problem would be that I wouldn't break the rules in the first place – and what Jacob Black wants…he gets. I would lose my job, my house, finishing my masters would be out of the question, and I would lose every ounce of security that I had worked for these last few years.
Seriously though, I don't even want to think about all of those complications. The biggest issue at present was how the hell I was going to get in the club unnoticed and if I could get there on time.
Shit. Shit. Fuck. God Damn IT! I'm going to have to call him.
Son of a motherfucker's cunt, this was going to blow.
Standing there in the now full blown rainstorm, I ran to the nearest awning to stay dry. I pulled out my cell and hit my speed dial for the club.
When he answered I felt my stomach cave in on itself. "Jake, it's Bella."
"Oh, my Swan? What can I do for you baby?"
"Well, the thing is, actually there are many things to speak of but so much has happened…" He cut me off with a humorless laugh.
"Stop rambling and spit it the fuck out Bella."
"I was in a car accident this morning and just got the fuck out of the ER. I don't think I can be at the club on time and I most defiantly won't be made up." I rushed out, desperately wishing I still smoked. A cancer stick sounded pretty delicious right about now.
He was silent for way longer than I expected. Shit, he's pissed.
"Well that's disappointing Swan. You know how I feel about tardiness among other things.'
"I know Jake but trust me," I huffed. "this was totally out of my control."
"What have I told you about control Bella?"
"That I always have it." I murmured.
"Well, I suppose I need to administer a punishment for breaking our rules."
It made my skin crawl when he referred to them as our rules. "Jake please..." I started to plead. I had never fucked up with him ever…I saw what he did to the other but it was always different depending on how he felt that day.
"Stick a dick in your mouth Swan 'because I don't want to hear it. Just because I like you doesn't mean that you're immune to consequence. Don't bother coming to the club tonight, instead I think you will be doing a house call. One of your regulars keeps requesting a personal visit. I think that now is as good a time as any, this fuck would take you any time apparently. Shift his whole fucking life I'd bet to get just an hour with you."
Now I was pissed. "I don't do house calls anymore Jay." Who the fuck did he think he was? "You know what happened last time." I stated firmly.
"I had the guy checked out, he's clean and I did the paperwork with him. He knows the rules." Jake said airily.
"I want one of the boys with me."
"No negotiations Bella, you'll be there or you'll be out on your ass again understood?" He all but yelled at me, my phone vibrating from the volume and intensity of his voice.
"Text me the address." I fucking conceded. I relied on the stability I had created for myself and fuck if I was going to lose it.
"Good girl. Be there at seven and don't stay longer than nine. Jasper will be there but won't go inside. This client had a few demands and I felt they were fair, but Jasper will stay around the perimeter if anything happens."
"Fine, I need to go then – time isn't exactly on my side right now." I muttered calmly as I tried to digest what the hell happened. I looked around at my surroundings, noticing the rain again and taking in the large white buildings that defined the west hills. I was outside, in the rain with no car, at a hospital, arguing with my chauvinistic boss who was acting a little like my pimp.
I was nauseous again.
"Call me when you're done Bella." His voice made me wince again. How he went from domineering asshole to affectionate prick was beyond me.
"Right."
I flipped my phone shut and held it in front of me in a manner that made me look like I was examining a new species.
And then I screamed at it.
Loudly, expressing with one action just how fucked up my day had become.
When I was through, a voice to my right laughed outright. "You are, without a doubt, the most fascinating creature I have ever met."
Damn it.
"Do I need to get a restraining order or something?" He was here again? Why couldn't I shake this guy?
"Well perhaps if you didn't run all the time you would avoid such unplanned run-ins." Was his curt and slightly sarcastic reply.
"Who the hell do you think you are?" I said turning to him, completely unaware that my white t-shirt was see-through as I faced him.
"You're doctor and victim it would seem."
I snorted. Yeah, that just happened, and I hadn't snorted in years. "More like stalker and donut enthusiast from my perspective. Do you ever, I don't know…give up? I mean come on! I fucking threw up on you." I asked, placing my hands on my hips.
"I'm exceptionally persistent. I am a doctor after all."
"Yeah, a seemingly arrogant one." I retorted with a glare.
"I don't apologize for my achievements…" he started defensively.
"Well, you don't need to brag about them either." God this guy was infuriating.
That seemed to stun him into silence.
Bella – 1
Voodoo – 0
He shifted his stance, shoving his hands into the pockets of his white lab coat. Underneath he was now wearing a pair of plain, light blue scrubs and fuck.
Holy hell he was sexy. Part of me wanted him to stalk my boring ass.
"Do you need to get somewhere?" he asked politely.
Great. Another man who suffered from multiple personalities.
"Why the hell do you think I bolted? I have a life that I can't stop living, just because I rear-ended some sexy smart-ass doctor.
I rolled my eyes at myself. What the fuck was wrong with me? Could I not keep my composure at all?
"Ah, just when I thought you were warming up to me…" he trailed off with the smirk that had haunted my dreams.
I could write Pulitzer Prize winning poetry on that seemingly natural twitch.
"Listen, I am terribly sorry for all the hell I have caused you today, really I am. But, to be honest, I really need to get home and get ready for work – as it is I am some serious shit with my boss, hence my tyrannical screaming at my poor phone. Thanks for being so cool about everything but I really need to go now."
I looked at him and smiled, hoping that he would understand the gesture and walk away.
It would seem that he was indeed persistent.
"Let me give you a lift." It was a statement not a question. Strangely enough I didn't feel weird about his tone. I was, for a moment, perfectly at ease.
And in my haze that resulted from that unfamiliar sensation, I found myself nodding in acceptance to his offer/demand.
His handsome, scruffy, well defined face looked at me curiously. He eyes held a glint of triumph that made me feel slightly giddy, even in spite of my current circumstances.
It was official…I was a masochist. A sick twisted pain lover.
"Okay, lets get going seeing as your in such a hurry." He said almost playfully, turning and walking in the other direction. I blankly followed, feeling as though I were hypnotized.
We walked in silence with me straggling behind, the silence creating an awkward situation. I needed to change that. I couldn't handle the silence.
"So, what did happen to my car?" I asked a little more loudly than intended.
Without even turning around he yelled back. "I had them tow it to your given address."
Hmm.
Well, fuck.
That was really thoughtful.
"Thank you." I murmured quietly. I thought he hadn't heard until I heard his voice echo through the rain and wind.
"Your welcome."
It was only a moment later when we reached the parking garage that I assumed held his vehicle. We walked inside to the first level, finally sheltered from the pounding pellets of rain and walked briskly through to a row of cars toward the back.
When he stopped in front of his car, indicating that it was his, my face skewed up in horror at the damage to his rear end.
You know what I mean.
"Jesus. I am so, so fucking sorry." I said again as I walked to the passenger side door, trying to put the damage behind me. Seeing it too was brutal. I mean, fuck…I caused that damage.
I just couldn't piece together why this man, a doctor – with the oldest and most romantic sounding name in literature – was being so incredibly nice to me.
He interrupted my thoughts as he spoke. "Don't worry about, that's what insurance is for, right?"
He opened his door and gestured for me to follow and I again found myself in an awkward situation.
"So where am I taking you Bella?" He started out conversationally, making me sigh in relief.
"Uh, Sellwood. I'll direct you when we get over the bridge." I didn't look over at him but I saw him nod in my periphery.
I leaned my head against the window and sighed.
Would this day never end?
A/N: So, first of all I want to apologize for taking so long. I had finals (which I aced by the way!) and then my spring break was crazy busy.
Second, thank you so, so much to everyone that has reviewed and given this a shot! I am so fucking happy that people are liking this.
Third, I didn't really edit this properly, seeing as I felt bad that I took so long, but I figured that I would give you this now, unperfected, to quench your appetite. I will post the edited version very soon for those of you that are grammar Nazis!
Lastly, I laughed hard at every reaction to the vomiting. When I wrote it I didn't feel it was that gross but you all made me reread it again in a new light. I just thought, vomiting makes people bond you know, in like an unspoken way. I have a plot finally…that was another reason for my tardiness. The next few chapters will be rough to write….so forewarning….get ready for the stuff that earns an M rating. Not the sexy stuff…
So, uh…review! That's the ticket!