Feel This: Part One
It's gotta be this one, You don't have to fake it. You know I can take it
What if I told you your tears haven't been ignored
And everything that was taken can be restored
Not a soul in sight, just the way he liked it. Dean glanced around the empty parking lot with a pleased grin. It was half past One am; everyone who was going to bed had already retired. The fresh crisp air filled his lungs with rejuvenation. The peaceful sounds of nature calmed his soul. Dean had a lot on his plate searching for his dad but sitting alone on the crumbling curb in front of that old motel, Dean felt resolve and strength. Worry and dread filled the deepest parts of his soul. What would happen when they found his father? What would be his next move? Dean didn't think his dad even knew the grief he put him through.
Taking a deep breath of the cool country air, Dean gazed off into the darkness lost in his own world.
Her feet patted against the cool cement, only human sound in ear shot as she crept up behind him.
Glancing over his shoulder for a look, Dean spotted Haley coming up from behind. Her presence surprised him but also somehow completed this perfect moment.
Her feet stilled as their eyes met in silence. "Mind if I join you?" Haley asked, hesitantly. Her face stayed placid, gazed reserved, incase he blew her off like usual.
Dean stared at her a moment longer with her proposal. He'd love nothing more than to have her by his side but it was also dangerous having something so dear, so close. Going against his better judgment, Dean nodded and tilted his head to the spot beside him, giving permission.
Haley's feet moved off the cold pavement with his answer, quickly she tip-toed over to Dean. Stepping off the curb, into the gravel parking lot, Haley took a seat beside him.
Silent, they sat at first, neither daring to look at the other. They never spent time alone unless Sam left for a moment. Haley wanted to know Dean, but every time he ended up alone with her, he scurried off for reasons Haley didn't understand.
Sitting in silence, Dean ignored her undeniable presence beside him, inches away. Every time she fidgeted all the senses inside Dean's body screamed athim to go to her. It shocked Dean the kind of influence she had over him.
Haley bit her lip, suppressing nerves, as she wondered why he decided to be so generous.
Both were keenly aware of the other but not demanding attention or imposing on space.
Glancing over at Dean, Haley noted the passion in his eyes, furrow in his brow as he stared out at nothing, his gaze miles away. She wondered what Dean thought about and how even after all this time she still couldn't guess because she didn't know him. He stayed hidden from her. Curiosity perked her interest; Haley decided this moment was perfect to try again. "What are you thinking about?" Haley asked, breaking the silence, pulling the heat of Dean's passionate eyes upon her. Her insides began to burn under the weight of his stare.
His heart sped up as he found her endless chestnut eyes waiting for him, interest clear in her pupil. Diverting his gaze from her and back to the safety of the gravel ground that didn't make his heart thump faster, Dean found himself speaking honestly. "I think we're close to finding my dad." Dean admitted with a deep, raspy voice, leaving absent all the deep rooted baggage that came with it.
Haley heard what his words didn't say. While she didn't know Dean, she had spent enough time around him to know he had depths underneath his thick skin and his family was one of the deepest.
Nodding silently, Haley stared off into the night. She wouldn't push further. She was surprised he had answered at all. Her mind drifted to familiar faces and old memories, Dean's talk of family stirred up ancient haunts.
Watching her in the dim light, Dean smiled as she dropped the subject. Most girls would pry but not Haley. Watching a distance fill her eyes Dean went out on a limb. Clearing his throat, he gave something back. "What you thinking about, Haley?" He asked with that same sexy, worn down voice.
Her face turned to him in a flash. Astonishment narrowed in her gaze as a smile softened her face. He was actually participating, Haley liked that.
"Home," She answered truthfully, a longing clouding her eye.
A curiosity surged through Dean's veins. He actually wanted to know more.
"Where's home?" Dean inquired, discovering Haley. The emotions playing off her face, the honesty on her breath, he found it oddly addictive.
Her iris held his, subtle smile never wavering, Haley soaked up his attention. "North Carolina… Tree hill to be exact." She shared.
Nodding, he had never wondered about her past before but of course a girl like Haley had touched lives before his. "Why aren't you there?" He questioned her with ease, distinct flirty arch to his brow. Their eyes intertwined, it amazed Dean the way they shared information smoothly.
Haley's gaze pulled from his and back out into the darkness. She sucked in a deep breath, holding in the secrets. Letting it out, slow and long Haley revealed a piece of herself to Dean. "There's nothing left for me there. This were I belong now." She confessed somberly in her breath.
Watching her carefully, Dean couldn't figure out why she stayed with them. She had no place in hunting, Sam and Dean wouldn't allow it, yet somehow she still fit with them. Seeing an ach fill her eyes Dean wanted to banish it but raw emotions were never his strong suit. Dean's insecurities told him to look away, while his heart told him to comfort her. Being the better man, Dean offered up his ear. "You wanna talk about it?" He offered a gift he wouldn't give anyone else.
She glanced back at him with the proposal. Radiance filled her eyes, as she began to see him in a different way… kinder… more caring. But her wounds were too complex to dig up, and she didn't want to stir up old graves. "No." She answered simply, weak smile on her lips.
The wind picked up around them, fluttering leaves as a chill ran through her body. The cold of the night started to get under her skin, Haley shivered. All she had on was Sam's over sized shirt and a pair of shorts, hardly appropriate for the weather.
Watching her bare legs quake, her creamy skin caught his eye, Dean swallowed a lump in his throat. "Take my jacket." He mumbled quickly, trying to distract his racing pulse.
Slipping the worn leather off his strong arms, Dean quickly swung it over her shoulders.
"I couldn't," Haley protested with a shake of her head, resisting his kindness. She enjoyed the gentler side of Dean but it also made her nervous, his kindness foreign.
Capturing her eyes, his intense sea green pair full of certainty. "Take it." He insisted.
Unsure but accepting, Haley nodded in agreement. Looking away, Haley took a deep breath. She felt comfortable and safe sitting beside him but it was also those very feelings that made her nervous.
The wind blew across his now unprotected arms. Clad in a flannel long sleeve shirt that didn't offer enough warmth for a night like this. Shivers ran through his body as he rubbed his arms. "It is cold." Dean admitted, with a short chuckle.
Looking over at him, Haley instantly felt bad. She pulled the jacket from her shoulders trying to return it. "Here, take your jacket."
Before she had even spoken, Dean anticipated her movements and shook his head in protest. "No you wear it." His rough voice made law.
Swimming in the jacket twice her size, Haley knew Dean was too stubborn to give in. So she came up with a bold idea of her own. It would stretch the boundaries of his patience but Haley felt audacious enough to test the waters. "Lets share it." She demanded.
Feel this, Can you feel this. My heart beating out of my chest
Feel this, Can you feel this. Salvation, under my breath.
Bethany Joy Galeott, "Feel this"
Fallin For You: Part Two
I've been spending all my time, just thinking about you.
I don't know what to do, I think I'm fallin' for you
I've been waiting all my life and now I found you
I don't know what to do, I think I'm fallin' for you
Throwing him a curveball, Dean started to protest but she had scooted against his side and flung the jacket over one shoulder before he could mouth any words against the idea.
Dean had a bad feeling about this, his hesitancy warned their proximity could be dangerous but looking at her considerate, caring smile, Dean sided with Haley.
They twisted, and squirmed trying to squeeze into that worn, old leather jacket. Just when they didn't think it would work, Dean caved and slipped his arm around Haley's shoulder, pulling her against him, in the crook of his arm.
Heart thumping in her ears, breath rapid, Haley didn't know what was happening until Dean's arm was holding her snug against his warm sturdy body, tingles ran through her. They had never been so close. His musky scent, something distinctly male and Dean engulfed her nostrils; Haley closed her eyes savoring the smell. However hiding in the back of her mind, Haley couldn't forget that this was Sam's older brother and a notorious womanizer at that.
Dean watched her eyes close, as her face held calmness and satisfaction in its features, his breath quickened. This was a mistake, having her close, Dean felt himself losing control against her. His heart skipped a beat as her wavy locks tickled his cheek.
The warmth of her body against him was seducing. Her sweet nectar smell consumed his mind, and inside he prayed it would linger on his jacket, stained forever.
Intently watching her delicate, ravishing face, Dean couldn't look away. Having her so near, disabled all reasoning inside him.
Blinking open her eyes, Haley found Dean's green pair piercing her with his penetrating gaze. The breath stilled on her lips, her heart began to race. Something different… new hung in his eyes. Something she had never seen before. Words couldn't describe this look, words hadn't been invented but it was penetrating, mesmerizing… it sent a shutter up her spine.
Looking into his eyes like this, Haley understood why so many women fell for him; he was the embodiment of alluring and sex.
Her eyes tangled with his, her gaze softened and fever filled her pupil, Dean knew she felt 'this' too. His lips tingled, he had never wanted to kiss a woman the way he wanted to kiss in her that moment, his lips inches from hers… it terrified him. Her rapid breath against his face tempted him and took him to the edge, ready to push him over.
Swallowing the lump in his throat she had caused, Dean ripped from her gaze at the last moment as emptiness took its place. Slipping out of the jacket and their embrace, Dean scooted from her. Taking a deep breath of cold air to replenish his mind, Dean roughly ran his hand over his face, detaching her from him.
Rejected, Haley sat frozen as he denied her. For a moment she had thought she saw something in his eyes. Shaking her head, Haley scolded herself. How could she have fallen for his bedroom eyes, a guy like Dean would never be lured in by a smart girl like her. Haley knew the truth; he had just been horny and lonely.
Anger and frustration began to build in her belly. Turning back to Dean, Haley finally let him have a piece of her mind. "What's your problem?" She dared to ask him.
Lost in himself and the beautiful mistake he almost made, Dean hadn't even thought of how she'd take this until Haley lashed out. Turning back to her, the provoked look in her eyes, Dean tried to diffuse it, this wasn't her problem… it was his. "No problem." He lied absently, wall back up.
A ragged breath fell out of her mouth with frustration. Blowing out hot steam, Haley tried another way. "You know it's ok to be my friend. It wouldn't kill you to like me. I won't tell everyone you're nice." She spoke honest, with a hint annoyance on her breath.
Dean's eyes drifted back to her. An epiphany hit him, god she was brilliant. Staring into her dazzling, determined chestnut eyes, Dean understood; it didn't have to be black or white. It didn't have to be all or nothing like he thought. He could be her friend, have her near him but not his. He didn't have to avoid her like the plague; he could embrace her like the cure.
A striking smile spread across his face, like the sun breaking through the clouds after a storm. "Ok," He agreed, giving into her as a quick chuckle came off his breath.
Surprise filled her confused gaze. Haley couldn't believe how easily he surrendered. She hadn't seen that coming. Dean really was full of surprises. Letting go of all negativity, Haley smiled affectionately at him as thanks. Scooping her hair into her hands, Haley pulled it back from her face and into a ponytail.
Her smile blinded in his mind, it was all consuming and it made his choice feel all the more fulfilling. Watching her gold threaded hair, sway in her hands and expose the smooth flesh of her neck, Dean decided to give this friend thing a shot, he spoke up. "You should leave it down." He announced simply, an irresistible grin on his lips.
She turned to him, not expecting him to speak. Handfuls of her hair still locked behind her head, Haley battered her eye lashes playfully. "Why?" she teased him with a glint in her eye.
The sexiest smirk engulfed his face with her charm. Taking a deep breath Dean was brutally honest, going against the doubt inside his gut. "Because you look beautiful with it down." Dean confessed, his eyes unwavering with certainty, his grinning mouth contagious.
Dropping her hands, her hair cascaded all around her. Stunned, the only thing that moved was her hands. Haley saw it again, the indefinable thing in Dean's eye that left her paralyzed and wanting more. Taking a deep breath, Haley chalked it up to her own wishful thinking and shook the thoughts away.
Leaning over she nudged him playfully with her shoulder as she offered him an equally infectious smile. "You're growing on me, Dean."
Watching her light up for him… because of him, Dean didn't regret his decision for a moment. He only wondered why it had taken him so long to get here. In that moment, he knew he'd never be able to deny her again.
I'm trying not to tell you but I want to
I'm scared of what you'll say
So I'm hiding what I'm feeling
But I'm tired of holding this inside my head
Colbie Caillat, "Fallin' For You"