Things weren't going the way I ever expected to. First my father decided that he'd had enough of me and kicked me out so now I was living on my own working at a diner where I was making just enough to pay for my apartment, and second. School finished a few weeks ago and college was out of the question because there was no way I could pay for it right now. I was thinking of going to Scott's and apologizing but I haven't heard from him since I told him to get out of my room a few months ago so I didn't wanna walk in on him and Allison having a disgusting make-out session. He'd probably lose it and freak out on me. Nevertheless I find myself going up to his house and I decided to stop mumbling outside the door and knock. "Why are you so stupid Stiles?" I hissed as I clenched my fist because it irritated the fresh scars on my left wrist, and while I was busy focusing on my arm I didn't notice that Scott had answered his door and when I looked up he was almost shocked to see me. "St- Stiles...? What are you doing here?" He choked out. "Oh well you know I was just in the neighborhood and I just wanted to stop by and see how you were doing." I said. "Well i'm... Okay how about you?" He asked me. "Uhm well I gotta say not so good, but i'm managing." That's good. Uhm... Do you wanna... Come in?" He asked hesitantly. "Oh sure. Thanks." I mumbled. I walked inside and I instantly recognized the house i'd just walked into. The furniture was still the same and the house still had that homey feel I loved whenever I would stay here. "Scott. Can we sit down? I wanna talk to you." I asked. "Yeah we can sit on the couch." I took a seat on the couch and tried to figure out what the hell I was gonna say to him. Well here goes nothing. "Scott I want to apolo-" "No Stiles. I should be the one apologizing. I hurt you. I was a horrible friend and I never meant to do the things I did it's just the whole wolf thing was still new to me and having to worry about Allison's parents not trying to kill me. I just... got carried away. I never meant to forget about you. Stiles i'm so sorry." Scott said but he started to cry. So I put my arm around him and held him close. "Scott buddy don't cry. It's okay I forgive you and you forgave me so we're all good. I love you buddy." I said calmly. "I love you too Stiles." He sniffled. "So what now?" He asked. I honestly didn't know. I for maybe the second time in my life was at a loss for words. "Maybe we should just take it slow and get back to how we used to be?" He suggested. "Sure Scott. That sounds good. I'll let myself out." And with that I left knowing that I had a best friend again. I was about to get in my car when I realized I had left my keys inside Scott's house. Maybe on his couch. I had walked back up the driveway and, I was about to knock on the door when I heard someone yelling at Scott. "Scott you said you were done with him!" She yelled. I recognized Allison's voice. I shook my head. "I was but-" "But what Scott? I don't care if he is your best friend I don't want you to ever see him again I thought you loved ME not him!" She shrieked. "Babe, I promise i'll never talk to him again. I promise! Please forgive me? I couldn't live without you." He pleaded. "Okay. I forgive you." She replied smugly. My heart fell and my stomach dropped when I heard Scott say those words. My chest was pounding and my heart ached I couldn't believe it. He picked her over me. HER! He didn't try to fight for me or anything he just threw me to the trash like I was nothing. He tossed me aside like I was some toy that he got tired of playing with and Allison was the shiny new one. I realized at that moment that I WAS nothing. I wanted to die. I couldn't take it. I felt like I was going to explode. So I ran. I ran aimlessly in any direction that I thought would take the pain away. I ran to the forest and just kept running past anything I saw until I was surrounded by trees, grass, rocks, and nothing else, but as I kept running all I could feel was the growing ache my chest held. It constricted around my heart and just kept squeezing tighter and tighter until I couldn't breathe anymore. I just kept running until my body failed me and I crumpled to the ground. I let out the loudest cry I could have ever made. It hurt so bad it felt like I was being ripped in two. I tried to stop but, I just kept screaming, clawing at the ground cursing my existence and everything in it. It hurt so bad I kept screaming until my voice too failed me. I couldn't move. I couldn't scream. I tried to scream because of the pain, but I couldn't. It kept clawing at me, at my heart, and at my soul. It kept ripping through me like I was paper. It laughed at me and teased me. It tormented me like I had no purpose. I had no reason to exist. The darkness kept trying to take me under but I just kept screaming until finally. My mind faded away into the darkness and I welcomed it. As it engulfed me I finally felt the peace I longed for. And then. Nothing.
I was just running my usual perimeter when I heard an erratic heartbeat. I wondered what it was, but I just pegged it as some animal who was about to become prey so I ignored it. Until I heard a scream. One full of despair and pain. It felt so heartbroken and painful. It made me wince when I heard it. Then it got closer and I heard a small thud. I recognized the voice. I just couldn't place where it was. I closed my eyes and I listened closely and my wolf began to growl . I listened to the sounds around me and the screams started to fade so I followed them until they completely died off. That's when I saw him writhing and screaming as if he were on fire. "Stiles!" I screamed. I tried to grab him but thrashed around and he just kept screaming. "Stiles wake up! Please wake up!" And suddenly he just stopped. His body went slack and lifeless. His heartbeat began to falter. I panicked. "STILES! NO PLEASE HANG ON." His heartbeat began to pick up and he started to shake and whimper. I grabbed the boy and I ran all the way to my railcar in the warehouse. He began whimpering every so often. "Sc- Scott...W-Why...?" Scott? I was gonna have to talk to that bastard and find out what the hell happened to him. He began to claw at my jacket and yell. "LIAR... LIAR..." And he began to sob into me. It just made me all the more anxious to find out what happened to him. He just kept crying and when I looked at him and I saw fresh cuts in his arm. I was gonna tear Scott to pieces. My wolf began to growl harshly everytime Stiles would whimper or say Scott's name. Why was I reacting this way? My wolf rarely did anything besides grunt or growl every so often, and now that it saw that Stiles was in pain it made it bloodthirsty. "Isaac!" I yelled at my beta. "Derek? What's going o- OH MY GOD! What happened to him!?" He asked me while rushing to my side. "I don't know but, i'm about to go find out." I let go of Stiles and set him on my makeshift bed in the railcar. When he began to whimper. "Derek... please stay... I can't." He cut off with another whimper. I wasn't sure what to do so I sent Erica and Isaac to go and see McCall and ask him what the hell just happened. "Boyd!" "Yes Alpha?" "Go get me some water and a cloth and get the ice bath ready." I shouted. He was still crying. I wasn't very good with this kind of thing so I just settled with what my mother used to do whenever I was upset, I began to run my fingers through his hair and he began to calm down. Whenever I would stop he would just start whimpering again. So I just stayed there. I had no idea how long I stayed there until Boyd walked in. "Everything's ready." He stated quietly. "Thank you Boyd." I picked Stiles up and I took him to the ice bath and began to remove his clothing. I removed his shirt and I saw a flash of pink appear on his chest and cheeks. I moved to remove his pants and I left him in his underwear and gently set him inside the bath. "Stiles it's gonna get cold." He mumbled something I couldn't hear. I layed him in there and he began to shiver at first until his body got used to the temperature. Every so often I would cup some water in my hands and sprinkle it down his back or on his head. He finally looked calm and I for the first time saw Stiles body. He was very light complected with small defined stomach muscles and his arms had some build lacrosse was doing him some good, but when I looked closer I could see them. They were line upon line upon line of scars some were thin lines, others were thin, but noticible welts that rose in his skin. I looked away in shame, knowing no one was ever meant to see them. They were something I wasn't supposed to see. I knew they were something no one was ever meant to see. I stopped. I looked at them again and I recognized some of the scars as though they were stitches. My breath caught in my throat , I looked at his face wondering just how much emptiness and loneliness and abandonment this boy must feel. Something I could relate to. My own emotions began to surface as memories of the screams and the smoke came to mind. Tears began to well up inside and I quickly banished the thought of my family. Instead I let myself feel rage and, my blood began to boil. I envisioned Scott McCall and I swore to myself that I would rip him to pieces. "Derek. What's going on?" Scott McCall. He must have a death wish. "YOU. THIS IS YOUR FAULT. WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM!?" I screamed. "Derek I didn't do anything I swear!" He pleaded."DON'T LIE TO ME GODDAMNIT!" I screamed once more. "Derek we just made up. He came to my house and we talked and when he left we were on good terms. I don't know what made him react this way. I didn't do anything." He stated matter-of-factly. "YOU LIAR." Stiles began to scream as he rose out of the ice bath. "YOUR A PIECE OF SHIT SCOTT MCCALL. I hate you!" Stiles stopped and collapsed back into the tub sobbing into his hands and screaming for Scott to go away. I ran up and grabbed him by his throat and pinned him against the wall. "NOW try telling me you didn't do anything. I should kill you!" "But I didn't-" I tossed him against the other wall as I began to shift . I growled and my wolf growled with me. I wanted to kill Scott McCall. But. He just sat there. "I don't know what I did for you to act like this, but go ahead." He said very quietly. I was about to take him up on that offer when Stiles spoke up. "You didn't even try to fight for me..." Stiles said suddenly. We turned to look at him. I was confused as to what he meant."You just picked her like I was nothing. You chose her over your best friend. How could you?" His lip started to quiver as tears started to roll down his cheeks. It made me all the more angry to kill the idiot. "Stiles what are you talking about?" He said. "Don't act stupid Scott! When Allison came down and started yelling at you for talking to me again." A look of shame, guilt and embarrassment came over his features. "She said pick one and you picked her immediately. I wasn't even considered. You threw me in the trash. Like I was nothing." Stiles said. "Stiles I-" I interrupted him. "YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH." I screamed at him. "I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE YOU HERE EVER AGAIN. GET OUT. "Derek please I-" "NOW." I screamed. Scott bowed his head and left quickly. I waited until I stopped shaking to turn to Stiles. "Stiles are you okay?" I asked. "I'm fine. I just need to sleep." He said."Alright let's get you up." I said while picking him up. "Derek. Thank you." He said passing out on my shoulder as I carried him. The gentle sway of my body must have rocked him to sleep.. "No worries Stiles." I whispered. I carried him to my makeshift bedroom and layed him down. I pulled the covers over him and I groaned when I realized that tonight I was going to sleep on the couch. _
I woke up dazed and alone in a place I didn't recognize. I looked around the room and I noticed just how many things there were that I didn't recognize. I sawthat I was laying on a mattress in a railcar and that there were many personal items like keys and a few pairs of clothing lying around. It smelled of wood, pine, and rust. The place still had a homey sense to it's atmosphere. It was calming and pleasant. I saw a pair of boots were placed next to each other by the door I took note of which of whom were probably Derek's. It crossed my mind I was at Derek's current hideout and I couldn't make any sense as to why I was here. I tried to sit up but my body refused to cooperate with me. I collapsed back onto the mattress. "Hello? Is anyone there?" I heard my voice and it sounded like someone had taken a piece of sandpaper and shoved it down my throat taking it to hell and back on the way down. "Hey!" I tried again, but no one replied so I layed there looking at the ceiling counting how many cracks there were in the top of the railcar. I got to twenty-four when I heard the door open and I looked over saw Isaac walk in with a cloth and a water bottle in hand. Since Isaac was here I was pretty sure I was at Derek's. "Stiles your awake! How are you feeling?" He asked me. He did seem genuinely concerned with my current condition so I held back the sarcastic remark about me being just peachy and said. "Not so good Isaac can I have some of that water?" Although it came out more as a strained whisper. "Sure. Here just take small sips." He warned me. "Thanks Isaac." I replied as he helped me take a few drinks. "No problem. So how are you feeling. Do you want to take some medicine? I have some pain pills here. You've been burning up for awhile since Derek found you out in the woods, so I would come and put this wet cloth on your forehead everyday." "Thanks..." I trailed off. So Derek was the one who brought me here, but why was I here. It didn't make sense until I remembered. Scott. I began to shake as the memories came back. I winced when I heard Allison's voice yelling in my memories. I gasped as the pain began to reconstrict in my chest again. One by one. My memories each took their time replaying in my head. Burning me, whipping me, and taunting me with their malicious existence. I began to hyperventilate as I realized I was having a panic attack. "Derek! Derek it's happening again!" Isaac yelled. "Don't move him! I'm coming!" Derek said running into the room. He grabbed my hand and tilted me up. Holding me up so I could breathe easier."Isaac go get the water ready!" "Yes Alpha." "Stiles. Stay with me now, just breathe. Come on. Don't worry the pack's here now no need to worry i'm here with you." He was soothing me? I couldn't believe it, but I did as I was told and after a long time of simply breathing and listening to Derek's heartbeat my own heart rate slowed down. "Stiles? Can you hear me?" He asked anxiously eyebrows furrowing together, and forehead creasing as he pursed his lips together in worry. "Derek. I'm okay now." I told him. he let out a sigh of relief but his features still showed signs of worry. "How long have I been here exactly?" I asked him. "For almost two weeks. Stiles we thought you were in a coma. All you would do was scream, thrash around, or cry. It was... unbearable." He said somberly looking away, and eyebrows furrowing once more. "Take it easy sourwolf. You'll get crows feet before your thirty." I managed to laugh out. He rolled his eyes at me. I looked at Derek and I noticed his eyes had large dark circles under them. Has he really been up taking care of me this whole time? "You should try and sleep more you big lug." I told him. "Sure Stiles i'll make sure to sleep early tonight." He half smiled. It was a rare thing for Derek to smile so I watched his face for as long as I could to ensure I kept the memory fresh and vivid next time I saw him with a scowl or grimace on his face. "Do you like to stare at me? Or do I have something on my face." He asked. "No. I was just thinking." "Well you were thinking for a pretty long time." He half smiled again. I smiled myself as he began to blush a bit. "Derek you should try to smile more. It suits you." I told him. "I'll remember that next time I try to calm you down." He joked. I liked this Derek more. Preferably over the broody Sourwolf that i've come to no longer see. I hope he stays this way. I might need him again. "Alright Stiles. It's time for a bath you reek." He said nostrils flaring in slight annoyance. "Alright alright, but only if you take one with me." I said. "What?" He said jaw dropping to the floor. "I'm just kidding Derek. Don't worry. I don't love you that much yet." I laughed while trying to stand up. Trying. And failing. As soon as I got up I began to fall. "Woah woah watch it!" Derek yelled while catching me. "Ow shit." I cursed. My back and legs were killing me. I couldn't even stand. "Are you okay Stiles?" He asked me worriedly. "I'm fine, but do you think you can carry me to the bathroom so I can take that shower?" I asked hesitantly. I looked over myself and I noticed my fingernails had dirt in them and my breath smelled rancid. I just couldn't believe how dirty I was. It was kind of a good thing I lived alone so Derek wouldn't have to explain my disappearance to anyone. Not like Scott would give a damn. My chest began to tighten again until I felt Derek pick me up and carry me bridal style out of the room. I felt peace at once. I felt bad that he had to carry me so I threw my arm over his shoulder to try to help him carry me although I wasn't too sure I was doing much to help. "Thank you Derek." I mumbled into his shoulder. He didn't reply really. He just gave a small grunt of approval and as we walked up some stairs. Just where exactly were we? I looked up as I noticed we entered the bathroom and I saw there was a sink, a broken yet useable mirror, and a bathtub and not much else. "Alright. Get undressed." Derek said quickly. "Wha- What?" I asked astonished. "I'm going to have to help you into the tub Stiles." He said. "Oh yeah." I said my skin turning a light pink. I started with my shirt and removed that, but it seemed like I was taking too long because he started to tap his foot. "When your done sit on the floor so I can carry you into the tub." He said staring at the ceiling. "Alright." I replied. I removed my jeans and my boxers and took off my socks and tossed the aside as I sat on the floor it was cold and it gave me goosebumps. "Okay Derek. Help me in." I told him. He turned around and quickly picked me up and put me inside. Eyes shut of course. The water felt amazing. Nice and warm. I sighed in contentment. "I'll just wait for you down stairs call me if you need me." He began to walk out but I called him back. "Derek wait!" He stopped on his heels and spun around in an instant. "Stay here and talk to me?" I asked. "I know it's kind of akward, but I really don't wanna be alone right now." "Alright. I'll stay." He smiled at me. I laughed. I don't know how long we stayed in there talking about trivial things like what our favorite colors were. Evidently he liked the color black which honestly wasn't a suprise. I preferred a deep blue myself. Cobalt. What? It's a good color don't judge me. I learned how Derek first moved here with his family, but he quickly changed the subject. I understood knowing just how hard it was to lose your family. What his pack was currently up to. Which honestly wasn't much although the Argents were having quite alot of activity going on, So the pups were training more, and Derek recruited a new one. He was a junior at Beacon Hills. Barely moved and Isaac and he quickly became friends, but it was odd because he only bit those he deemed mature enough, but I learned it was because he was dying, and Derek had sympathy. I was allowed to meet him once I was able enough. Derek said he was the most stable pup he'd ever seen in his life. I wondered what he was like. I also found out that from Derek that he himself is a born wolf and he has entitlement to more power than human turned wolves. Which piqued my curiosity even more. We stayed talking for a very long time. All the way up until the water got cold. "Derek the water's cold." My body shivered as if to prove my point. "Alright let me help you up." He grabbed a towel and let me wrap it around my body before picking me up and taking me to his room and laying out some of my clothes. "Where did you get my clothes from?" I asked. "Well we got your keys from McCall's house." I was grateful he didn't say his name. "And I more or less raided your closet of things I thought you might need once you woke up. If you ever did. I was really worried Stiles." He said. He was... Worried... "I know. I'm sorry." He just nodded. "Thank you by the way for the clothes. Oh, where's my jeep?" I asked worriedly. "Don't worry I drove it back to your apartment." He said assuringly. "Just try and relax Stiles regain some energy and tomorrow I'll take you home." "Okay Derek." I said. He grabbed a blanket and flapped it out over me and he walked out with a "Goodnight Stiles." "Night Derek." I layed down and I realized just how tired I really was. But I couldn't bring myself to sleep. I thought about why Derek's demeanor had changed so drastically. Why I couldn't stop thinking in general. I realized I hadn't taken any Adderall in at least a week. So I was practically expecting this. I yawned loudly and my eyelids were drooping so I laid myself back closed my eyes and thought of things that made me happy.
*I was running. Running as fast as I could. I looked back and I saw familiar pairs of eyes glaring at me. Then they began to scream. "WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO US?" They kept chasing me. "I didn't do anything!" I screamed at them breathless. They kept running faster and faster. "This is YOUR fault!" I eventually crumpled to the ground. I couldn't breathe anymore. I was shaking all over and they just picked me up and threw me. They cut me on my thighs and my arms and dove for my neck but the adrenaline made me get up and run. They ran after me and they slashed my ankle and I fell. They circled me. Slowly closing in. "You betrayed us. This is your fault." No. It couldn't be. "I didn't KNOW." I screamed tears running down my cheeks. "I'M SORRY." I cried out in despair. "Your fault. Your fault. Your fault." They began to chant. "No no no no. NOOOO!" I screamed. "DEREK!" I heard him scream. "Stiles...?" I asked afraid. "Yes Derek it's me i'm here please stay awake come on open your eyes." "I can't." I whimpered to him. "Derek please!" He screamed again. They who surrounded me, and one by one whispered a goodbye. I felt the blackness enter me. I felt nothing. Until I felt it. Warmth. Just warmth. His warmth. Why was he doing this? "I couldn't live without you Alpha." He cried. "Stiles?" I opened my eyes and they were gone, and it was all white. I saw he was sitting there hugging me eyes bloodshot from crying and his face was covered in tears. "Stiles... tonight is the anniversarry." I looked away in shame as tears were welling up and spilling over onto my cheeks. He wiped them away and looked me in the eyes, and said. "Your family is here now Derek. There's no need to feel alone anymore." He said wiping away a few more tears. "I remember an old wolf I used to know a long time ago told me this. An Alpha looks after and protects his pack and cares for his pack. We are more than family. We are everything to each other. We would die for each other." He said quietly. I sobbed into his shirt. After sixteen years of supressing these feelings I just couldn't hold them back anymore. "Shhhh... I got you. I'm here now. Your pack is here." I cried out harshly and I let out another heartbroken howl of pain. The air echoed with hurt, pain, and loneliness. I just kept howling. I couldn't control it, but he stayed there. Holding me. Running his hands through my hair just like my mother would when I was younger. Another howl of despair ripped it's way out of my chest. "IT'S ALL MY FAULT. I KILLED MY FAMILY." He grabbed me tighter and kept stroking my hair. "I love you Derek. Don't hurt anymore." I just kept crying. Sobbing into the younger man's chest as he had into mine so many times before. It went on for a long time and he didn't talk. He was silent. He understood my pain and I was happy that I wasn't alone. I kept crying until finally it died down. He was there for me and I was grateful. I needed this. "Thank you Stiles." I looked at him, and he smiled down at me. He leaned in and for a second I thought he was going to hug me. But then he came closer and his lips met mine. My eyes widened in surprise at how right it felt to have him here with me, our lips meeting, and our bodies held close. It felt right. It made me feel something other than what this day usually made me feel. I pulled away from him, and he pulled me to his chest tighter than before. "I love you Stiles." I whispered, and for once my dreams of this night weren't polluted with the darkness of my family's death. I had someone now. Someone that needed me, and I was going to be there for him now.*
***Author's Note***
Okay so... I re-read this and it seems like the last hapter was confusing. Derek was having a dream guys. Just letting you know. Oh and, you guys have been following my story for about four chapters now. And I feel great about this. I would would always read other fics and they would focus more on the "Relations" Rather than the "Relationship" Itself. And that made me kind of upset. :/ See,... I view Derek as a strong Alpha with a past that haunts him, and his heart and mind are heavy with the guilt he feels about his family. Which is why he tries to care for the pack, but he doesn't really know how, and he's just so overcome with anger and frustration that he has no other outlet other than to grunt and give out a few threats and growl a couple of times. (Especially at Stiles.) He, for the majority of his childhood. Grew up with Laura, and never really had that sense of pack besides his sister. Therefore all the new Alpha powers, and responsibilities get to him sometimes. And sometimes, some fics don't show that emotion. I AM one for writing the Angst. I pull out all of the stops for my pieces. To me. They are just as real as my Laptop, and my writing pad is. I want to see REAL emotions come to life from the words I read. There has been one fic I have read that has made me cry. And it is "You Don't See Straight." Written by 'onecouldn'tsee' (You guys should check it out!) As for Stiles. I view Stiles as a Selfless... Well... For a lack of better words. Servant. He gives his everything to help the others and no one appreciates it. He's been alone for so long I saw these two's chemistry on screen and I fell in Love. Lydia rejected him for Jackson. Scott's got his head up Allison's ass, and who does that leave? Everyone's favorite Sourwolf. Derek Hale. I haven't written an authors note yet so i'm sorry if this one seems kinda long. And, i'm also sorry if it seems like I ranted up there. ^^^ Didn't mean it I swear! So guys. You've gotten a taste of what my mind is like. I hope you enjoy the rest of this fic. Love, and Skittles. -xWinter-Wolfx