Author's Note: This one is a long one….once I started, it just wouldn't stop. So if you're skipping out on sleep to read this (I know I do that on this site all the time), hopefully it is worth it. To those of you who are wanting Josh gone….patience. Kate's entire life has been upended in the last week. She has a lot going on in her mind and she still on some heavy meds, so she's not really in any state to break up with him right now. But have faith, she will come to her senses soon.

Chapter 3

Throughout the next few days, Kate was gradually improving, much to everyone's delight. She had been moved from the ICU to a recovery room, and although she was going to be there for a while still, it was good to know that the she was no longer in critical condition. She was now able to sit up almost all the way and breathing was becoming less painful. Her father spent a few hours with her each day, and although they had both apologized for their argument, it was still the obvious elephant in the room; however, neither of them seemed to be in any hurry to bring it up again. Josh had been coming in more regularly, much to Castle's chagrin….and delight. Well, not delight, exactly, since he wished that Josh was Kate's doctor and nothing more, but he was glad (for Kate's sake) that he was acting more like a loving boyfriend and less like he was too busy to care.

Ryan and Esposito had made a habit of stopping by after their shifts, updating Kate on their newest case and carefully avoiding anything having to do with her mother's case or the as yet unsuccessful hunt for the newest sniper.

Alexis and Martha had been by twice, the first time presenting Kate with a large bouquet of get-well flowers and a giant teddy bear. They stayed and talked for a while and cheered Kate up probably much more than they realized.

Lanie stopped by every morning and she and Kate would spend some quality time together while Castle went to eat breakfast. Castle was glad for this little tradition because even though he had been somewhat successful getting Kate to open up to him, he knew that there were things she was still hiding. Lanie, however, was the one person who could weasel them out of her. She had been the one who ultimately convinced her to apologize to her father. She had also convinced her to lay off of her mother's case while she was recovering, knowing that the stress would not help her in any way. Today's topic of conversation was centered on the man who was currently downstairs drinking coffee and once again chatting with Jim Beckett.

"Seriously, girl, when are you going to stop fighting him?" Lanie asked.

"Lanie…."

"Kate," Lanie interrupted firmly. "You have been in the hospital for seven days and he has not left the building once. He's kept you company, talked to you, listened to you, comforted you, and taken care of your father. Josh has done maybe two of those things."

"Josh saved my life, Lanie," Kate pointed out.

"Yes, and then he walked away to let you heal on your own," Lanie reminded her.

"Castle's my partner," Kate protested. "That's why he's here."

"No, Kate," Lanie said bluntly. "He's here because he can't stand to be anywhere you're not."

"Lanie, I….I don't want to talk about this," Kate dodged.

"Well we're going to," Lanie said determinedly. "Because it's way past time for you to stop making excuses and realize that your partner is completely in love with you."

Kate was silent. She really, really, did not want to talk about this and she certainly had no intention of letting Lanie know that she was right. Because she was. Kate thought about what Castle had said about Josh a few days ago. I guess if I were him, I wouldn't leave your side. But Castle was not her boyfriend and yet he had still been here. He had been here almost constantly, even when Kate was asleep. He had spent hours sitting in that chair holding her hand and sleeping with his head resting on the edge of her bed. Josh had been with her for two hours in a row yesterday but other than that, all of his visits had been brief, and in none of them did he ask Kate how she was….how she really was, beyond the obvious physical ailments. And he had certainly done nothing for her father aside from assure him that Kate would make a full recovery. Castle, on the other hand, had taken it upon himself to see that Jim was fed and comfortable and had anything he needed.

"Okay, answer me this, then," Lanie said, breaking Kate out of her thoughts. "Why are you stringing Josh along?"

"I'm not stringing him along!" Kate retorted immediately. "I'm….okay, fine I'm stringing him along."

"Yes, you are," Lanie agreed. "And that's not fair to him."

"He stayed in the country for me, Lanie," she said. "I felt like I owed it to him to give him another chance."

"And maybe you did at first," Lanie said. "But from what I've seen, he's not taking his second chance very seriously."

"He's busy," Kate defended.

"So busy that he can't be bothered to care for his injured girlfriend?"

"He cares," Kate replied immediately.

"I didn't say 'cares,' Kate," Lanie pointed out. "I said 'care for.' They're very different. And if he truly cared, don't you think he'd want to take care of you?"

"Lanie, I don't need someone to take care of me," Kate argued.

"No, you don't," Lanie admitted. "But that doesn't mean that you can't have that. Especially when you have someone who would give up almost anything to have that opportunity."

"Josh saved my life, Lanie," Kate said, changing the subject again. "I owe him."

"You owe him your life, yes," Lanie said. "But you don't owe him your happiness, and I know you're not as happy as you could be."

Kate's mind flashed back to her fight with Castle. You could be happy, Kate, he had said. You deserve to be happy. But you're afraid.

"That's what Castle said." Kate's voice was almost a whisper now. "He said that I was hiding in this relationship, that I wasn't happy."

"Is he right?" Lanie asked. The answer was obvious, but this was a realization that Kate needed to stumble upon herself.

"I don't know," she said softly.

"Sure you do."

"I love Josh," Kate said. "And he loves me. Why shouldn't I be happy?"

"Josh loves what he knows about you," Lanie pointed out. "But there's a lot he doesn't know. And I don't doubt that you love him, but if you were in love with him, you would trust him enough to tell him about your mother's case. About the real reason you got shot."

Kate sighed, wincing slightly at the pain in her chest. "So what do I do, Lanie?"

"That's for you to figure out, sweetie," Lanie said softly, reaching out and taking her hand. "But I do know one thing, and that is that you were damn lucky and you've been given a second chance, so make the most of it."

Kate was drifting in and out of sleep later that evening when Josh dropped by. He planted a gentle kiss on her forehead and she opened her eyes sleepily.

"Hey there beautiful," Josh said softly as he sat on the edge of her bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," Kate answered honestly.

"Good," he said. "We're going to see if you can start moving around tomorrow."

"Thank goodness," she replied. "I'm sick of just sleeping and eating pudding."

"It's good for you. And sleeping is important for healing."

"I know, I'm just….I want to get out of here. I want my life to go back to normal."

"Well you're going to have a new normal for a couple of months, Kate," Josh said gently. "You're not going to be able to move around very well. You're not going to be able to go back to work right away. You're going to have to just sit around and be lazy."

"I'm going to go crazy," Kate complained. It was no secret that Kate was a work-a-holic, and while part of that was due to her drive and tenacity, part of it was also due to the fact that she simply hated having nothing to do. She would much rather be too busy than bored.

"I'm going to do my best to make sure that doesn't happen," Josh promised.

Considering how little he had done up until now, Kate was confused. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you're going to need someone to take care of you once you are discharged," Josh explained. "So I figured I'd take a few days off so I can help you out."

"You….I…."

Josh held up his hand. "You're going to need it, Kate. Like I said, there's a lot you're not going to be able to do on your own."

"My dad can help me. And…." She stopped before Castle's name came out of her mouth. She was confused enough as it was, and she was sure that having Castle help her recover was only going to further complicate things. "Besides, doesn't the hospital need you?"

"I can spare a few days," he answered. Kate almost thought she could detect a hint of reluctance in his voice.

Silence fell and while Kate retreated into her thoughts, Josh looked around the room, his eyes landing on the large bouquet of flowers on the table under the window. "Where'd you get the flowers?" he asked curiously.

"Oh, from uh, Castle's, uh, mother and daughter," Kate answered hesitantly.

"Oh, I didn't realize you guys were that close," he said, attempting to sound casual.

"Castle's been my partner for three years," she said defensively. "Of course I've met his family."

"I didn't say 'met,' Kate," Josh said flatly. "I said 'close to.' And it doesn't seem normal."

Castle had always been a sore spot in their relationship, and every time he came up, the conversation did not end well. Usually Kate just passed it off as an annoyance, but now she found that she was angered by Josh's words. Especially given all that Castle had done for her lately.

"Well, the people I am close to didn't bring me any flowers, so at least somebody thought to," she snapped.

Josh abruptly stood and backed away from her bed. "I see," he said calmly.

"No, Josh, I didn't mean…."

"No, Kate, you're tired and arguing isn't going to help your situation. You should get some rest now, okay? We'll talk later." And without another word, he left.

Ever since her talk with Lanie that morning, Kate's brain had been going a million miles a minute. She was so confused, and it seemed the more she thought about things, the more confused she became. Now, after fighting with Josh, she had even more to think about.

Lanie's words this morning had been dead on. Castle had been there for almost everything so far. Josh had only been there when it was convenient for him. And although Kate had tried to hide it, that fact made her really annoyed, because what good was a boyfriend who was never there when it counted. Now he had offered to take time off to help her, and Kate knew she should be happier about that than she was. But after what Lanie had said, and after everything Castle had done lately, she was not so sure how she should feel. She was glad that he had finally offered to help her, but suddenly it did not seem to be enough. What had he said? I can spare a few days. Like it was an inconvenience. Like he didn't really want to help her. And as much as Kate wanted to fight it, she knew she was going to need more than just a few days' worth of help. Still, he had offered and she felt bad for yelling at him right after that, but she was sick of him taking jabs at Castle. It was no secret that Josh did not really like him, but Kate would not put up with him questioning her and her partner's relationship.

Maybe it's all the pain meds I'm on, Kate thought. They must be making it hard to think straight. What had her life come to when she was making excuses to herself?

Thankfully, a nurse showed up a few minutes later to check on her and gave her another shot of painkillers which quickly made her sleepy. And while Kate was thankful that after tomorrow she would no longer have to take the heavy duty meds, right now, it was probably the only way to shut her brain off and allow her to sleep.

As Kate awoke the following morning, she became aware of a thumb absently drawing patterns on the top of her hand. She did not have to look to know that it was Castle. She had finally convinced him to go home for a couple hours last night to be with his family, and she did not recall him coming back, but she was pretty sure he had been there the whole night.

Kate gently ran her own thumb across the back of his and he lifted his head immediately. "Kate?"

She opened her eyes and found him looking at her expectantly. "Hey," she said softly. "How was your night?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" he teased.

Kate internally cringed as memories of her argument with Josh floated back into her head. "Maybe, but I asked you first."

She was gradually regaining more of her spunk and Castle was glad for that. "It was all right," he answered. "I think Alexis was happy to see me away from the hospital. And it was nice to have a real shower."

Kate laughed. "Told you it'd make you feel better."

"Well, I can't believe I'm about to say this, but you were right."

"Wow, you've been inhaling hospital fumes for way too long," Kate teased.

Castle laughed. "Apparently." He paused. "So your night was okay?"

"I slept really well," she admitted. "I don't even remember you coming in. When did you get here?"

"Just after ten," he replied. "You were already out and I didn't want to wake you."

"Yeah, those pain meds knock me out. Plus, after you left things weren't exactly uneventful."

"What happened?"

Kate hesitated, unsure of how much to say. Eventually she decided it was okay to outline the situation. "Josh and I argued."

"I'm sorry, Kate," Castle replied, squeezing her hand. "Are you okay?"

She attempted to shrug but it was still difficult to move her shoulders. "I'm not sure. I'm just….he offered to take time off to help once I got out of here, but the way he said it made it feel like he thinks he should, not that he actually wants to. I mean, I should be happy that he offered, right? And then he was upset about the flowers." She nodded toward the vase.

"Oh, Kate, I didn't mean for them to cause problems between you guys."

"No, it's fine," she said hurriedly. "It was really sweet of your family, I really appreciate it."

"Okay." He hesitated, wondering if he should answer her other question. "As for Josh's offer, I don't really know what to say," he began. Talking about Josh always put Castle in such an uncomfortable position. "I mean, it's good that he's trying to help. But you have other people, too, for when he can't be there. You know your father and Lanie would help you out. And I'm here too, Kate, for anything you need. I hope you know that."

Damnit, Kate thought, why does he always have to be so sweet? And why had Josh not said anything like that yet? Kate sighed. Screw her complicated love life. Pushing her thoughts aside, she smiled at Castle. "I know you are," she said softly. "And I really appreciate that as well."

"So….are you going to take him up on his offer?" Castle asked tentatively.

"I'm not sure," Kate responded. "But I'm not getting out of here for a while, so I have time to decide I guess."

"Yeah, I guess," he agreed. "Do you know when?"

She shook her head. "No. I think it depends on my recovery. But I get to start moving more today apparently."

"That's good," Castle said happily, knowing that meant that she was starting to heal.

"Yeah. I'm not sure what 'moving' entails, though," she admitted.

"Maybe getting you out of bed?"

"I sure as hell hope so. I'm so sick of sitting here." Castle grinned at her and she saw the glint in his eyes. "What?"

"Why do you always think I'm up to something?" he asked, feigning hurt.

"Because you obviously are. What did you do?"

"Well, when I was home last night, I grabbed some stuff that I thought might help keep you from being so bored." He reached down to pick up a bag and began unloading it on the edge of her bed. He pulled out a deck of cards, Uno, Catchphrase, a few DVDs, a couple magazines, and just when she thought he had emptied the bag, a manuscript.

"Is that the new one?" Kate asked, trying-and failing-to hide her excitement.

"Been looking forward to it, have we?" He smirked as he handed it to her.

"Not really," she lied. "Just glad to have something to read."

"Uh huh."

Kate grinned. "You're so easy. But seriously, thanks for bringing all this. I'm sure I'm going to need it."

"Anything for you."

Kate was about a third of the way through Heat Rises when three nurses entered the room. Castle was seated in his usual chair reading the newspaper and looked up when they came in.

"Good morning, Kate," one of them said.

Kate looked up. "Morning, Sharon."

"How are you feeling today?"

"Better," she answered honestly. The nurses had realized quickly that Kate was used to covering up her pain and regarded her skeptically. However, she did look better today. Much better.

"Excellent," Sharon responded. "Because we were going to see if we couldn't get you up out of bed for a bit."

"Good," Kate replied immediately. She was pretty sure her joints were going to be stuck in a reclined position for the rest of her life if she did not get to move soon.

"Alrighty," Sharon said, stepping up to the edge of Kate's bed. "Now, you're hooked up to a lot of things and your body has been through an extreme shock, so we're going to do this very slowly, okay?" Kate nodded. "I'm going to start by raising your bed a little more to sit you up all the way. If anything, anything hurts, you need to tell us immediately." Sharon fixed her with a stern expression, the kind Kate used on suspects.

She nodded again. "Okay."

"And try to keep your left arm relatively immobile still. Your shoulder is not going to want to work until those muscles heal."

Once she was sitting up all the way, one of the other nurses pulled the sheets down, uncovering Kate's legs. She was dressed in just a hospital gown, and while Castle normally would have enjoyed the opportunity to admire her long legs, right now his eyes were focused on her face, searching for signs of pain. She had grasped his hand again as she was being moved, but so far she seemed to be doing alright.

Once Kate was situated in her now completely upright position, Sharon turned to Castle. "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to stand. We may need that chair," she said, gesturing to the seat he was currently occupying.

"Oh, of course." He stood and pushed the chair away, never letting go of Kate's hand.

"Okay," Sharon said, returning her attention to Kate. "Now, very slowly, we're going to help you turn so that your legs are hanging off the edge of the bed, alright?"

"Okay."

Gingerly, Kate shifted her weight as the three nurses helped her turn. One had her hand across Kate's lower back, one was grasping her legs at the back of her knees, and Sharon was in front of her, holding her hips. After about thirty seconds, Kate was seated at the edge of the bed and the nurses slowly let go.

Kate flinched immediately as she realized that she no longer had anything supporting her back. Sharon reached for her instantly. "What hurts?"

Kate shook her head. "It's fine, I just forgot that I didn't have anything to lean on."

"Does it hurt?" Sharon asked.

"A bit," Kate admitted.

"Where?"

"My ribs. But it was just a jab of pain, it's better now. I think I just needed to get used to it."

Sharon nodded. "Okay. Just sit there for a bit. We've got to monitor your blood pressure for a couple minutes and then if it stays high enough we'll see if we can get you standing."

As the nurses stepped out of the way, Castle moved to stand in front of her. "You really doing okay?" he asked, concerned.

Kate squeezed his hand reassuringly. "Yeah." She looked down. "It's nice to have something solid under my feet."

When the nurses returned to Kate's side a minute later, Castle reluctantly released her hand and stepped out of the way. "Okay," Sharon began. "One of us is going to be on either side of you and I'm going to be on the bed behind you just in case, alright? Let us move your upper body, you just use your legs."

"Okay."

"Ready?"

"Yes." The nurses on either side of her bent down to wrap an arm around her hips and gently guided her upper body as she placed her weight on her feet for the first time in a week. She was unsteady at first and reached out with her good arm for the first thing she could find, which happened to be Castle's arm. He caught her and steadied her, grabbing onto her arm as well and placing his other hand gently under the elbow of her left arm. Sharon was steadying her from behind and once she regained her balance, all three nurses let go but remained there to catch her, just in case.

Josh arrived then, fully intending to apologize to Kate, but stopped in the doorway when he saw what was going on. Kate was standing up, holding on to Castle like her life depended on it, and he was just standing there, being her support. It was at that moment that Josh realized just how little he had done for his girlfriend since she had woken from surgery. He also knew without a doubt that if he did not apologize this morning, he was going to lose her. Kate was holding Castle's eyes and the connection between them was obvious. Maybe he was already too late.

"How's it feeling?" Sharon asked, interrupting the moment between the partners.

"A little wobbly," Kate admitted.

"Okay, let's not try to walk then. As long as you keep holding on to him, you can stand for a little longer if you'd like."

Kate nodded and looked back at Castle. "I've got you," he said softly.

"Thank you."

Just when Josh thought things could not possibly get any worse for him, Castle took a tentative step closer to Kate. "Can I….can I give you a hug? I haven't been able to since….you know….and I just need to know that you're really okay."

Kate smiled at his nervousness. She would never admit it, but she found it absolutely adorable. "Yeah. Just….low….not around my shoulders. And don't squeeze too hard."

Making sure that she was not going to lose her balance again, Castle gently slid his arms around her waist. She snaked her good arm around him and leaned her head against his chest. He held her loosely, careful not to put any pressure on her injuries, and ran his hands gently up and down her lower back. "I'm so glad you're okay," he said in a low voice.

"I've been okay for a few days now," Kate pointed out.

"Yeah, but this way….now that I can actually hug you it feels more real."

"I guess," Kate agreed.

"Thank you," Castle whispered.

Kate pulled away to look up at him and he released her slightly, keeping his hands on her waist to steady her. "For what?"

"Letting me do this," he answered sincerely.

Kate smiled at him and was about to reply when she wobbled slightly. Castle tightened his grip and the nurses were reaching for her immediately. "Looks like it's time to get you back to bed," Sharon said. Castle moved his grip back to Kate's arms while the nurses once again supported her hips and sat her back on the edge of her bed.

It took a couple more minutes, but soon Kate was settled back in the middle of her bed with the sheets pulled up around her. "Do you want to stay sitting up for now?" Sharon asked, motioning to Kate's bed.

"Yeah, for a while," Kate said.

"Okay." Sharon bent down and retrieved the controller from the floor. "Since you're well enough to sit all the way up now, I'm going to give you this. You can adjust the bed as needed, but make sure your upper body is always at least partly elevated." She showed Kate how to work it and then took a step back. "How's the pain? Did standing make it worse?"

Kate shook her head. "No. It hurt when I lost my balance, but it's fine now."

"Okay, well if you're up to it, perhaps we can try again tonight. For now, try to get some more rest. I'll be back in an hour to check on you."

As the nurses left, Castle became aware of a tall figure leaning against the doorframe. He looked up and saw Josh and knew that he and Kate had some things to talk about. He had not eaten breakfast yet, so he decided now would be a good time to do so.

"You've got someone here to see you," he said softly to Kate. "I'm going to go grab some food. I'll be back in a while, okay?"

She nodded. Castle released her hand and stood, heading for the door. "Castle?" she said softly. He turned. "Thank you."

He smiled at her sincerely and butterflies erupted in her stomach even before he spoke the word. "Always."

Thoughts?