Invisible

by SurrealSteamPuck

Rachel had a reflection. She knew she existed, since on some level people acted like she did. But they never did anything to truly show it. For just over seven months now, Rachel Barbara Berry had been completely invisible to the eyes of the world. She was truly alone [AU: Faberrittana, magic and M for a reason]

4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

Author's Notes: Yay, almost to more smut. I have two extra chapters of this completed, along with one other of "Dirty Paws" so just bear with me as I work. NaNoWriMo is approaching so my concentration will be on an original piece of fiction, but I probably will still work on these two as a means of breaking the train of thought and getting away from it.

This chapter was rather strange to write. I had so much to say, and I really, really, didn't want to have write out all the dialogue and everything, so I went back to telling. Just easier that way. Rachel's perception of things was fun to write, given that she is a bit insane having not really interact fully with another human being in a while.

Ah well. ::Shameless Plug for other works::

I do not own glee, sadly. We would actually have a program that people still wanted to watch, what with real characters, and personal growth, and true conflict. As always, please read and review.

Because I can,
SurrealSteamPuckk(WeOffendedShadows)

Rachel found that sleeping in Quinn's lap was surprisingly comfortable. First period, some basic, maybe, she wasn't paying attention really, a math course, she kept her silence, trying to ignore the fact that she was wearing a sports bra, that fit kinda nice, and a pair of shorts that squeezed her and probably gave an excellent camel toe and was practically lounging in the lap of the head cheer leader. Not that anyone could see her, really, but somehow she felt more exposed wearing it instead of just being naked. Quinn did not pressure her or ask her for anything other than just to stay in her lap, which was a chore in first period with the small desks, but Rachel made it work. No one noticed her, as usual, and they still interacted with Quinn, which was fine. She wasn't jealous, really. It's not like didn't Quinn deserved the attention since she was practically a goddess walking amongst them.

Second period, science, was a bit more comfortable seating, with Rachel being able to curl up in Quinn's lap, and she passed out while the rest of the class watched a movie. Quinn was silent the entire time, but like first period, gave her glances and secret smiles, a hand slid along her legs while the other just rested on her back, keeping it warm in the cool school. Rachel didn't remember much, but woke up drooling down the front of Quinn's cheerleader uniform just as the bell was ringing.

Third period was when she felt the need to talk.

Quinn sat down in a chair and Rachel promptly fell into her lap, wrapping her arms around her neck. She got herself comfortable, shimming until she was sideways and swinging her legs in the air. Quinn held her back up, making sure she wasn't going to fall. It was sweet of her hallucination, really. The other hand remained on her legs, thighs really and tapped a random pattern on her legs. "I've masturbated to you in the bathroom."

"Really?"

"Yep," Rachel said, smiling the entire time. It wasn't something she was embarrassed about. In fact, it was a great day.

"While I was using it, or-"

"Nope, that's just disgusting," Rachel replied. "No, while you were showering after gym. I followed one day and just watched you, well, you and Santana and Brittany. It's probably what you're so life like, Hallucination-Quinn."

"How life like am I?" She asked, smiling back.

"I'm glad you asked that, Hallucination Quinn, that's rather long, can I call you something else? HQ? Hal? Lucy?"

"I went by Lucy in elementary," Quinn said.

"I did not know that, Lucy, thank you very much," Rachel said; it was probably just a lie to fill in blanks that she didn't know about Quinn. "Back to the topic at hand, I have seen and studied your body for the purpose of masturbatory aids, which, I'll be honest, Lucy, as you probably know already since you are just from mind, I have used quite frequently." Quinn raised an eyebrow but did not say anything. It was rather sexy, and Rachel kinda regretted being put into a pair of shorts that made it easy to show her hallucination just how wet she was getting. "Because of this, I happen to know your body pretty well. Yours, Santana's and Brittany's."

"You do?" Quinn asked.

"Yep," Rachel said with a pop. "It's probably why you three appeared before me and are now tormenting me with your presence. You were my favorite targets."

"So what did you exactly do while you were-"

"Invisible?" Rachel said. "Nothing had really changed at first, until about a month, I wasn't being called on. Two weeks later, the friendly acquaintances I had possessed, both here in school and at my lessons, stopped talking to me. Then the cashiers and waiters, then the people on the internet who I conversed with over various topics. A couple weeks before school ended was when I started my exploration of myself and others."

"Oh?" Quinn asked, smiling. "Where did you start?"

"The boy's locker room." Rachel shook her head. "There wasn't much to see there, though Noah had an excellent body that did become part of my masturbatory aids, as he was certainly the fittest and the biggest. In many ways. Everyone else was kinda boring."

"Yes," Quinn said, "Brittany said that Puck was able to turn anyone straight or gay; though his standards are changing this year as well, I think he's exploring himself too." She smiled. It was nice, a lie, but nice.

"Good for him," Rachel said, "These lies are certainly making me feel better, thank you Lucy."

"You are welcome, Rae," Quinn replied. "Continue?"

"Of course," Rachel looked around. "Sure you don't want to attempt to make it look like you are actually part of this course, as to hold up the fact that you are lying to me about being real, thus maintaining your hallucination-based torture of me?"

"I have a more interesting topic in my lap at the moment." Quinn smiled and Rachel shifted in her lap, trying to relieve some tension. Maybe it was too warm for these tight clothing.

"Fine then," Rachel said. "As I was saying, Noah was the only real boy worth watching, though Michael Chang also was rather finely built, though I found I do not necessarily care for the soft-spoken attitude he had, I will admit, the dancer's body he possesses is absolutely beautiful and stunning, just look at my memories and it, go on. I'll wait."

Quinn shook her head and started to caress Rachel's leg.

"You sure? Fine then," Rachel breathed out unevenly as Quinn's hand drifted a bit further up her leg then she realized. "After attending the boy's locker room and being disappointed by them and their rather disgusting behavior, I found myself in our locker room, attempting to enjoy the female body. Most left things to be desired. And don't get me wrong, many of them, especially the harpies you call Cheerios, Lucy, were physically beautiful, but I just don't see that. Your physical nature is limited by your emotional and moral one; the Quinn I saw was absolutely stunning and I am sure I built it up even further, hence why you look so perfect, Lucy, as the real Quinn is such a bitch sometimes, hence ugly at those moments."

"I cannot apologize enough for that," Quinn said. Rachel ignored the tears forming. "The hurt I have caused you, the embarrassment. I-"

"Don't get upset, Lucy, it wasn't you, it was real Quinn, who is probably in some other classroom, I haven't memorized her schedule this year, just her gym period to perv on her when I didn't want to attend class or got bored or horny or any excuse really." Quinn nodded, swallowed deeply but said nothing. "Anyways, in the locker rooms, I watched you girls, and it was just fascinating how beautiful and good you were, but only to each other, especially after all the hell you two, not Brittany, she's always been sweet and kind and kinda awesome, really, but you two have such a horrible act within the school, it was almost hard to accept your beauty. So I watched you. I followed you guys after practice and you looked so, I don't know at peace. It wasn't like your school selves."

"This has to do with you fingering yourself to me how?"

"I have yet to have anything penetrate me, thank you very much," Rachel said. "You are a poorly informed hallucination, Lucy."

"I will endeavor to do better, Rae."

"I'd appreciate that, this explaining stuff is tedious." The hand slowed down a bit, though it now ranged from the top of her knee to just before the end of the shorts. The hand on her back started rubbing slow, easy circles. "So, given the fact that I got to watch three beautiful women, who were the ideals of beauty for me, mind you, shower and then after one practice have sex? It was just too much."

"You have watched us having..." Quinn struggled to bring herself to say the word.

"Yep," she popped the p again. "You were in between Santana's legs as she made out with Brittany and fucked her with her fingers. It was an absolutely lovely image that I briefly saw before running home and rubbing myself until I was exhausted. I stopped following you after that, given the invasion of privacy, at least for a week or so. Never did catch you having sex again, but I still enjoyed looking at your bodies. I watched your practices."

Quinn just nodded.

"Hence, why you are a masturbatory aid hallucination. Oh maybe I should use you as such. That might be fun. Making you Lucy watch me as I play with myself, right in front of your desk, and-"

The bell rang, finishing her thought of what to do given the situation. Hallucination-Quinn stood up, sliding Rachel to floor as she did. She didn't drop her hand, which Rachel was rather happy about. At least her mind was giving her something to make her happy, something to cope.

The rest of the school day went by easily, with Quinn taking an evaluative test in English, so Rachel kept quiet, for the most part. She started to hum as she played with Quinn's pony tail, enjoying the feel of her hair. These details were astounding; she didn't think her mind was even capable of producing such things. Must be smarter than she thought. While Quinn's right arm supported her back and wrote at the same time, Quinn had leaned forward, resting her head against Rachel's chest. Her free hand tapped on her thigh along with her nameless hum. It was nice.

As they left, Quinn pulled Rachel close, wrapping an arm around her. "Why?"

"Hmm?" she asked, focusing a glare on a jock as they walked down the hall. Rachel stood by as Quinn acted in her role as Head Bitch in Charge; there was a slight perverse emotion in watching as she doled out slushies and bully to jocks and cheerios, but Rachel also took notice of who she was picking on after Santana stopped by before gym. They stood off to the side, watching Quinn in her circle of Cheerios, and Santana explained the entire process.

Most victims they selected were bullies in some form or another, terrorizing people if they thought they could get away with it. They had to select some students who had done nothing to deserve the wrath, like Rachel, just to keep everyone guessing, but for the most part, Quinn isolated and attempted to break every other bully in the school, systematically ensuring her own power as Head Bitch.

"High school is a horrible place, Rae," Quinn said, as they walked to the gym. "You need to understand that when this all started, when Bri, San and I decided we needed to protect ourselves. In middle school, there really was no excuse, but we mostly ignored each other. It was not until I took power here that it started right? The slushing, the bullying, the torment; that was all here prior to us arriving in school. We took charge if nothing else to keep ourselves safe."

"By picking on me?" Rachel asked. She wasn't accusing her hallucination of anything; these were just her own rationalizations, though they sounded pretty good.

"You ever see how little boys act around girls they find attractive?" Quinn asked.

"Noah used to pull on my pig tails and knock me over in the sandbox," Rachel said. "Like that?"

"Exactly."

"Then, what...what does that...oh." Rachel paused, her mind going over every one of her actions, Quinn's actions, the past couple of years. Twelve through fourteen was a mostly quiet period, with very few interactions, though mostly stares from far away, as Rachel had been dealing with her own puberty, and lack of development in both height and breasts. At least exercise had kept her extremely toned.

The Unholy Trinity was perfection, though in eighth grade, and Rachel admitted to herself back then that she was jealous. Maybe that was why she was so loud and in people's faces about her talent, her voice, because that was all she had. Rachel Berry was, after all, just a short, ugly girl who didn't really have friends. People had to like her for her voice; it was that good, and she had nothing else to offer.

While it sucked that she was invisible, Rachel did a great deal of introspection in between bouts of mischief and perving. And she learned more about herself than she wanted to, at least emotionally and intellectually. She did not deserve what she had been put through: the slushies, the names, the pornographic pictures, or the disappearance of herself from the world. None of it. But she did deserve the dislike of her peers because of her arrogance and her demeanor. Rachel wasn't going to change who she was, but she could at least change how she presented that person.

"Rae?" Quinn asked. She had changed (damn she missed it) into her gym uniform. That showed nothing of the body underneath. It didn't have to. Quinn wore the white t-shirt and baggy red shorts as though it were a Queen's dress for a royal ball, and she carried herself in the same. "I figured we could just run today. I do not feel up to the rest of gym, and the teachers let me as I please to prepare for practice."

"oOkay," Rachel just stared at Quinn's breasts. "Are you wearing a bra?"

She laughed. Full, and loud, and long, and so beautiful that Rachel could have sworn she was singing. "If you had followed me like I had expected, you would know that, would you not?" Rachel nodded. "Come, you are dressed enough to run with me, and I do not feel comfortable letting you out of my sight."

"What if I have to use the restroom?"

"I will go with you and wait for you."

"Kay," Rachel didn't want to know why her hallucination was so protective or needy or wanting to stay in her sight at all times. Probably because she ceased to exist if she left her sight, which would meant her hallucination had some sort of awareness of itself and then-

"Ready?" Quinn asked. She picked up her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. Rachel nodded.

They ran for the full forty minutes. There weren't many people who could keep up with her, and it was nice to have someone next to her step for step. Though Quinn was winded when they finished. "God bless it," Quinn said, trying to take as deep of breathes as possible. "You...your..."

"That was a nice warm-up," Rachel said, smirking. She could probably run for another couple hours or so if she slowed her pace down. The run wasn't really appropriate for long distances, but it was nice to do occasionally.

"I hate you so much right now," Quinn said. She was bent over, breathing heavily, and glistening (did she not sweat; totally unfair).

"Too fast?"

Quinn just nodded.

"Seems you aren't well exercised Lucy, you should fix that, kay?" Rachel smirked and walked over. Quinn looked up at the diva and licked her lips, her eyes focusing on- "How rude."

"It is right in eye-level, Rae," Quinn replied. "And I have lunch after this so..." She stood up slowly, this time keeping her eyes on Rachel's and licked her lips.

"That was very crude and uncalled for," Rachel crossed her arms and spun around. Quinn wrapped hers around Rachel and hugged her close.

"But completely true," she said. "I do not apologize for staring. You are incredibly beautiful, and you have been a distraction all morning."

"Of course, I've sat on your lap-"

"In skimpy shorts and a sports bra, both accent your curves so very well," Quinn said. "Let's go shower."

"So I'll get to see you naked?" She couldn't keep the glee out of her voice.

Quinn laughed and nodded; she started walking, but held onto Rachel, forcing the girl to keep steps with the taller cheerio. "And I you. That is the price, fair?"

"Sweet," Rachel said.

The shower was sadly uneventful. Quinn was ever the gentlewoman though did let Rachel stand close enough to touch her and get a close up look at her perv-idol. Who had more flaws, at least physically, then she had noticed before. It was disheartening to see her mind was not as accurate in recreating Quinn as she had hoped.

The rest of the day was equally delightful and disappointing. Delightful, in that, despite it being just a hallucination, Rachel had someone to talk to and it was the hottest girl in school, who seemed to have a crush on her, she loved her lack of sanity at the moment for giving her such an outlandish, but nevertheless, great gift. Disappointing in that said hallucination did nothing about how horny Rachel was. She wished it would at least take care of the problems it was causing.

Lunch was with Santana and Brittany. Rachel designated to Quinn's lap, though they shared a completely vegan, she remembered, that was sweet, salad. Santana gave her a hard time, as was expected, though Brittany was all smiles. It was nice, having friends, even if they were false and she had lost her mind.

The school day ended, and Rachel stood at the front doors, watching as everyone left. Save the Unholy Trinity.

Quinn stood off to the side, leaning against the doorway, looking so calm and smooth while doing so, it was almost unreal. She hadn't moved or anything, just glared at the masses as they left. The head Cheerios looked like she was carved from stone, marble, she was so perfect. Damn, Rachel needed a better word; that was getting redundant.

Santana and Brittany sat on the top step, talking about something in one of Brittany's notebooks. They were whispering, glancing back and forth as students parted around them, voice almost disappearing when someone stepped too close.

Rachel was left standing in the middle, the crowd parting around her. Once the last person left, she turned and saw Quinn standing in her personal space. "You okay?"

"You're still here?"

"Yes," Quinn replied. "Though we do have practice to attend."

"Rachel?" Brittany said, standing up. "We need to test this."

"Test what, Hallucination-Brittany," Rachel asked.

"That, well and you and us seeing each other."

"I don't...what?"

"You are going home, Rae," Quinn said. She hugged the girl tightly. So her hallucinations would be coming with her then, right? "We are attending practice and then head home ourselves. Separately."

"No," Rachel said. As much as this was not real, she didn't want to make it stop. "Please, no, don't leave me Lucy."

"I will not, Rae," Quinn squeezed her tightly, rubbing her hands on her bare back, "I promise you that."

"Tomorrow," Brittany said, "you're gonna be with me."

"Huh?"

"Like how you were with Quinn today." Brittany continued. "You're gonna do that with me. Then you'll go home by yourself."

"Okay," she drew out the word.

"Thursday will be with Santana, who will play nice," Brittany said. "Then home again."

"Why...why are we...you," Rachel asked.

"I need data, Rachel," Brittany replied. "I need to make sure this isn't a fluke or anything like that. For your sake and ours." This sounded nothing like the Brittany she knew. "This is the best way to test my theory."

"What theory?" Rachel pulled in tighter, trying to take all the warmth and softness and smoothness from Quinn, remember it, so that when the hallucination ended, she wouldn't be completely empty.

"About this, I'll explain tomorrow when I wrap it around my head better, kay?" Rachel nodded.

"Friday, you'll be with Quinn again," Santana said, "and then you'll come home with us. Britts will know enough by then, and we'll be impatient enough to want you at all times."

"Okay, little stalker?" Quinn asked.

"When did you learn about this?"

"Just now."

"Hence the anger."

Quinn laughed. "Right, hence the anger. You have been able to read me too much in our time together."

"I told you," Rachel muttered into Quinn's uniform. "I've perved on you enough to know a lot about you."

"You will learn there is a lot more to us then you think," Quinn replied. "But we will be here, early tomorrow. Please, please, show up."

"I don't want to go."

"If we are really hallucinations, then we won't be here," Santana reasoned. "Especially if we are here to torment you."

"You could just be doing this to remind me that I am truly alone," Rachel replied. Quinn squeezed harder.

"Which is why we're showing you all of us," Brittany said. "No masks, no secrets. By Friday, you'll know more about us than you'll want to."

"O...kay," Rachel said. She wasn't going to cry. This did not suck as much as she thought it did. These were just hallucinations and she was still alone. "Can I...no, you don't exist so I can't call you, can I?"

Quinn pulled back and grabbed Brittany's notebook and pen. She tore out a page and wrote on it. "When you are struggling tonight, call me. When you think that this is over and we are not coming back to see you. You call me. Okay? Do not dare do anything else." She spoke so harshly, an order from the head cheerio. Rachel nodded, holding the page close to her chest.

"And dress in a sundress or skirt tomorrow," Brittany said, smiling. "But panties too, else Quinn will get upset that her dibs has been broken."

Santana laughed and hugged the blonde.

They said their goodbyes, and Rachel wished it wasn't forever, but somewhere she felt it would be. The Unholy Trinity leaving her as quickly as they came. This just sucked.

The next morning, sitting on the front steps of McKinley High was a very excited Brittany S Pierce, who rushed over to her and hugged her tight enough to make breathing difficult, just a little bit.

Rachel called Quinn last night, or started to, but hung up as she figured the hallucination would just talk to her without the phone and attempting to talk to nothing for two hours before crying herself to sleep. The morning sucked without her coffee and they were still out of berries and now soy yogurt, so she hadn't eaten. But Brittany was excited.

"Here," Santana said through a mouthful of food, shoving a bag into her hands "Brittany cooked this morning, and Quinn is bringing drinks for us."

"What?" Rachel said. Her hallucinations were back, after begged them to show up for hours just so she could hear someone's voice, but no one ever replied.

"It's vegan, don't worry your tight ass off about it," Santana replied. "Decent too."

Rachel looked down in the bag where she found a breakfast burrito with probably fake egg, but first bit told her it was so much more. Better than anything she made for breakfast (she learned quickly that Rachel Berry and open flame do not necessarily mix well). "This is..."

"Fucking amazing right?" Santana said. "Britts is awesome at the morning's food. Even if it is food that other food eats."

"Hey," Quinn said. Rachel turned around and smiled brightly. Her favorite hallucination was back, carrying four large cups of what she could only guess was coffee, or possibly tea.

"Hey, Lucy," She said.

"Vegan-soy chai latte with cinnamon. Coffee Black. Milk with a dash of coffee too much sugar. And green tea with honey and vanilla extract." Quinn handed out the drinks, with Santana grabbing her milk concoction quicker than Rachel thought possible. Brittany smiled grabbed the chai tea and handed it to Rachel before taking her coffee. "Hope I got the orders right."

"You are a god send," Santana said.

"I'm amazed that the color even changed on your drink, San," Quinn smirked. "What's the point if-"

"Because American coffee sucks and this is actually cheaper than an expresso, kay?" Santana glared, but continued to drink and eat, ignoring everyone else.

"Don't mind her," Brittany said. "She's just upset she has to wait til tomorrow to have you."

"Have me? I am not a possession," Rachel said, stomping a foot.

"No, but you are friend," she replied. "And someone hurt you. Terribly." Rachel looked away, but Brittany gripped her chin lightly and made her face her. "And until we figure out how to fix it, we'll take care of you and be there. For now, that means you're our responsibility."

"When did you get so reasonable?" she asked.

Santana barked out a laugh. "She's always this way, same as Quinn is kind and protective."

"And Santana is a cuddle whore," Quinn added, the smirk up to ten thousand volts.

"Shut up," Santana replied and hunched over her food.

"They're right though," Brittany said, "we just act the way we do to keep ourselves safe, and the school under control. It's better to go with the expectations then fight against them. In our coven, we can be who we want to."

"Bri," Quinn pleaded.

"No, she has a right to know just what happened," Brittany glared, actually full on angry-mode glared at Quinn. Which was strange. She thought that her hallucinations would get along. "You don't want to hurt her, fine, then I'll deal with it, make her understand. I'll be the bad guy."

Quinn walked up the stairs quickly and wrapped the other blonde in a hug. "I hate when you are so logical," she said. "I just-"

"If we want her to be our plus one, she needs to know."

"Huh?" Rachel said. She tried the burrito and Santana was right, this was more delicious than anything she had. And the tea just made even better. Best of all, they remembered she was vegan.

"You be joining us," Santana barked out. "So get used to this."

"I'm gonna be the fourth member of the Unholy Trinity? That doesn't-"

"No, in magic three plus one is more than four. Addition is greater than summation. I'll explain later kay?" Happy-Hallucination-Brittany was back, and things were right in the world. "Come, you get to hang out with the smart kids for a while, let's enjoy it before Sannie gets to you and you learn nothing that day."

"I resent that," Santana shouted, but the pair had already left for first period.

The day went by quickly, with Brittany ignoring the teachers and other students, focusing all her attention on Rachel. With Quinn, she was held close but not close enough. Brittany seemed to favor having Rachel sit on the desk in front of her, facing her, so they could talk and she could share notes and writings with her. They didn't pay attention once to class, instead getting lost in their own world. The teachers apparently thought Brittany was sleeping. Santana smirked at them whenever Rachel looked over first period.

Apparently, magic existed. Her mind must have worked some overtime to come up with that, though it was the only reasonable, but not logical, explanation regarding her situation. And there were rules and guidelines and drawings and symbols and wills and foci and a lot of stuff. Took three periods of Brittany talking, going slow and making sure that Rachel actually understood it, even though it was more complicated than a dance routine.

She was smart. Not just that she knew things, but Brittany made connections and formed ideas quicker and better than anyone she knew. Prior to her invisiblement, Rachel maintained a pretty good GPA, and she knew the same with Quinn and Santana. Brittany tended to be this dumb blonde stereotype, spouting out the most random things. But this was nothing like the Brittany she masturbated to.

Which was kinda nice. Quinn was extremely caring and protective, guiding Rachel through the school and watching over her. Brittany taught her about the world they were dragging her into, explaining what she could and giving her a basis to build from and create her own ideas and thoughts about the whole situation. Maybe her mind was better at this hallucination stuff than she thought.

Gym was awesome, because Brittany actually kept pace and wasn't tired at the end of the period, even wondering if they could do more. Even better, she made Rachel shower with her, standing just in front of her, blocking her body from the rest of the girls and letting her touch and soap her up. It was awesome.

Brittany was open, free with her words and ideas, letting Rachel make guesses and be part of the conversation. They talked. A lot. And she had fun again, even though she was just with a hallucination. There were aspects of her body that were different than she remembered from her perving times, subtle flaws she hadn't seen before. In reflecting back, she saw similar things on the perfect girl, though she figured that made her only near-perfect. Neither of them were what she believed them to be.

The next morning with Santana was even stranger. After the morning greeting on the steps(she was relieved the hallucinations were back), with some fantastic trail mix with a vegan cinnamon muffin from Brittany and tea as provided by Quinn, Santana latched on and would not let go. An arm around her, pressing her body next to hers, or at bare minimum, having Rachel hold her elbow. She felt like she was going to be escorted around the building, which was awesome. Brittany kissed both of their foreheads and ran ahead with Quinn, smiling over some silly cartoon show she watched the night before.

Where Quinn talked about Rachel's past and what led up to this, Brittany discussed the how, Santana favored the who. In first period, the Latina positioned her so that she was straddling her. The sundress, she wore at request again, at least covered most of her legs, and her gold star, comfortable boy shorts gave her even more modesty. Santana held her close and spoke softly, staring at her with adoration and care and sweetness, even more than Quinn.

Throughout the day, she spoke of each of them, the masks they wore, and how they had these roles to play. Santana talked about their past and the decisions to use magic as a means of having their own thing, something they controlled and were freed by that decision. She mentioned their relationship, a threesome, and how Rachel would be a welcomed plus one, or part of the threesome and one of them the plus one, however it would work out, they'd make it work.

Rachel wanted to believe her. She really did. These were not the people she knew, or thought she knew from observation. Never, ever, in all her days of stalking, would Rachel expect Santana to be as kind and, for back of a better term, loving as she was, as cuddle-hungry as she was.

Each period, Santana would position Rachel so she sat as close as possible and snuggled into her, sometimes her shoulder or breasts, or once her stomach, was tickled every time she breathed in and out. It was nice, for lack of a better word. Wonderful, in fact, Santana, the right hand of Quinn, who could put fear into Michael, the archangel himself, was physically affectionate, tender really. Like how Rachel wanted to be.

She so wanted this, to join them, to be part of them. Each member of the Unholy Trinity spent time with her, befriending her, introducing her to them for the first time, even though she stared and watched and perved on them for weeks on end, through the summer too, though they didn't need to know that yet.

Physically, from afar, without ever touching them before, they all looked the same, in a way. Strong, firm, and tough women, whose bodies further reflected it in their movements and dimensions. Only Quinn really fit that description, possessing taught muscles underneath soft skin, strong arms and legs that were able to move her and guide her where she wanted Rachel to go. Brittany was angles and lines, though she had the most wonderful hips and limbs that moved with a grace of wind, standing at the tallest of the Trinity. Santana was curves and softness, which wasn't to say that she wasn't strong, but rather she worked for tone and definition mostly, highlighting her physical beauty. The shortest of them, and just barely taller than her, Santana radiated this metaphysical heat that drew people in, to stare at this, well, naturally shaped-porn star appearance. The Latina laughed at the description, letting her feel how real her body was; Rachel struggled to not shiver, though Santana gave her a hard time about the wetness she felt on her legs.

In gym, Santana kept up with her, though she fought her way to finish, collapsing after it was over. Rachel had asked why she did it, why she forced herself to continue, Santana laughed and coughed out that she wouldn't leave her to be alone again, even if it her hurt. She would protect her.

They would protect her.

Rachel didn't understand it. The Unholy Trinity, the source of her miserable first semester at Lima high, and some minor bullying (was there really anything such as minor when it came to bullying) in middle school, were focused solely on her, helping her, making her laugh and smile and feel happy.

"You aren't hallucinations," She said into the phone that night.

Quinn muttered something before finally waking up, "huh?"

"You and Santana and Brittany," Rachel replied.

"Yeah, I mean," Quinn said, "Rae, it's two am."

"Sorry, I just couldn't sleep and- I'm sorry I woke you."

"No, Rae, it's fine. Really, I'm just... mornings aren't my thing."

"You're using contractions?"

"Huh?"

"You're using contractions, you never do that."

"School-Quinn doesn't. But two am Quinn does. The girls, well, they got me to relax and it's a bit different."

"Are they with you?"

"No, they went home too, working through this whole mess and trying to figure out just what we can do."

"Oh," Rachel replied. She shifted on her bed, trying to comfortable and think of what she wanted to say.

"You had a question?" Quinn asked.

"Yeah, though," Rachel sighed, "I don't know if it's worth asking now. I mean, I think I know the answer already and it's clear now that I look at it, and even if it's wrong, I don't think I want it to be so much, so I'm just-" Rachel breathed in deep, trying to slow herself. "Why me? Why now?"

"Rae, it's two am, my brain doesn't really work right," Quinn said. "So please be specific."

"All three of you are so interested in me and practically falling over me and it feels real but fake and I just-"

"Rae," Quinn said, "take a deep breathe okay? Just slow down." Rachel tried to slow her heart, but this, all of it really, was just too much. The Unholy Trinity wanted her, not just to be a friend, but sexually as well given the amount of flirting she did with each of them. They took her and kept her close and gave her everything that she needed. A voice, a touch, a smile. All directed at her. She was a star again.

"Why... why are you so interested in me?" Rachel asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You didn't have to drag me to your classrooms, sit in your laps, flirt with me, let me shower with you, you didn't... are you just wanting to take advantage of the fact that I'm nonexistent and you can do whatever you want to me."

"Not unless you want that." The tone was meant as playful, Rachel was sure of it. She heard it as such. But that wasn't what she wanted to hear. Her lower lip trembled for a moment, and she let out a shaky breath trying to steady her next words.

"I...I don't... Please Lucy," she said, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I just..."

There was no response from the line.

"I'm sorry I bothered you." Rachel moved to hang up, but Quinn spoke finally.

"I was not lying to you, Rae," Quinn said softly. "About why I picked on you. It took a bit for me to understand, to actually recognize it for what it was, to process it."

"When was it?"

"When what was?"

"About me?"

"Thanksgiving break freshmen year," Quinn said, "Bri set me straight, San yelled at me until she was hoarse, then they tied me down and made me listen."

"Made you listen how?" Quinn was silent. "I'd like an answer."

"Use your imagination, my little stalker," Quinn said. Rachel could almost hear the smirk; she wanted to see it, really.

"Oh." Rachel played with a loose thread from her quilt. "Are you...are they...is sex always on your guys mind?"

"Do you know what magic is, Rae?" Quinn asked. She shook her head, but couldn't speak. "Magic is life, to have it flow through you, to settle within you, to be part of you." She sighed. "Magic is joy, hate, anger, delight, fear, please. Magic is life, Rae. Without being able to express these parts of ourselves, we could not cast anything, we could not channel it. Sometimes, it is easier to express yourself without words; actions make things more clear. And, for me at least, nothing is more expressive than being with them. Both of them."

"You mean sex," Rachel said.

"No," Quinn laughed. "Though we do that quite a bit too. No, love. I love my girls, I love them more than I can ever express; I love their flaws and their perfections, their moods and their quirks. I love them. And I am not afraid to say that any more, to show it to them, even if no one else sees it."

"Then..." Rachel tried to breathe in, take in something to calm herself, but the whimper and the tears came nevertheless.

"Where do you fit in?"

"Yes," she breathed out.

"With magic, we are not afraid of being who we really are, and showing that to people we trust, care, and depend upon. For me, this means people who mean as much as San and Bri do to me, or I should say person."

"What are-"

"I was going to talk to you after break," Quinn said, Rachel struggling to hear her voice. "I had stopped the slushies for the most part and I was working up the courage, but I was too late, and I had lost you but did not realize it." She sounded tired, afraid. As strong as Quinn was talking about emotions in general, her own frightened her. Rachel learned that from Santana, though she didn't see why it was necessary to know.

"Quinn, I-"

"I will not let that happen again," she continued, sniffing once, maybe twice. "I wanted you with us, Rachel, I wanted you over six months ago to join us and be free to be yourself. You said it yourself, that we wear masks to protect us, right?"

"I told that to Santana yeah," Rachel replied.

Quinn sniffed again. Was she crying, or fighting back tears? "You know my mask then, the Head Bitch in Charge."

"Caps and all."

Quinn didn't laugh. "I cannot let it slip. It has to stay firm and strong on as long as I am in this town. To let it falter would let worse things in, worse people in control and placing the people I care about in danger. I have to be the princess of my parent's eyes, the ice-queen of McKinley, the head Cheerio. Thankfully, I no longer have to be head of the Chasity club, but I still have to be Miss Perfect."

"Quinn..."

"Santana's mask grew as a means of protecting me and Bri, though really, it was a response to the bigots of this town as well. Middle school would have been awful for her had she not taken charge and scared everyone into submission, including some teachers. The racism is rampant sometimes, even if it is not direct.

"Brittany's came from one of our first days of working with magic, when things went a bit odd and she was by herself. The next day at school, she couldn't think straight and struggled in classes. The dumb blonde aspect just stuck.

"Rachel, we live up to these expectations because they protect us, our real selves, from everything that wants to hurt us. Even you."

"What...Quinn, I don't-"

"The diva is your mask, Rae," Quinn said. "You have built it to protect yourself and distance yourself just as much as Santana or I have, or Brittany's was forced upon her. You are loud, proud, and big in voice to protect the fact that you are small and fragile. People could focus on you being a diva, instead of you being the daughter of two gay men, and hate you for that over the other. You choose to let them see one thing, diverting all of their attention to it, as a means of protecting the one thing you care about more than anything."

Rachel pulled her knees close to her chest. This was not going as she expected. She just wanted to know why the Trinity was leading her on. Now she was being returned to her self-reflection period where she had learned this about herself already. But it was strange to hear the words coming from someone else, someone Rachel thought hated her.

"You asked me why we are so open and free with you, Rae," Quinn said. "Because right now, we do not know any other way. You were hurt and cast aside for some reason that could only be horrible and painful, meant to die alone and forgotten. What other way is there for us to help you, but by being free with our words, our thoughts, our actions? You matter Rae, you matter a great deal." Her voice was shaky and uneven, even more so. Every once in a while, Rachel heard hitches of breathe; Quinn was rushing, trying to get out as much as she could now.

"You matter to me, and I refuse to let you go again. I could tell you how important you are to the coven in terms of magic. I could tell you how much you mean to us as the Unholy Trinity, with you being the diva who stood up to us all. I could tell you why you are here in regards school, the town, the world. But none of that matters to me, Rae. What does is your happiness and your care and...and.."

"My love?"

"Yes," she said, pushing it out with a cough. "Yes, that too. I am... I cannot tell you what you feel, only what I do, and while it is simple to say love and mean another thing, I refuse to apply a title that is not earned by either of us, only one that I would like someday. I have earned that right from San and Bri after being with them so long and finally receiving their trust and care, and I cannot ask of that gift. But I can attempt to earn it from you."

"Quinn," Rachel said. It was too much. A girl whom she had crushed on, stalked really, for months now, and that was what she told them, had offered her a great deal.

"So what now?"

"Now?" Quinn replied. "Now we do whatever you want. Brittany has an understanding of this, at least to an extent, and Santana is working through the designs of the inscription on your back. We'll set this right, even with our limited knowledge. But the little things, that's all up to you. If you want us to back off-"

"No!" Rachel sat up in bed. "I mean, no, please, not that."

"What is it you want then?"

"I..." Rachel had asked herself that question often the past few days. She liked the touching, the physical nature of the girls' relationship, and clearly she was barely seeing anything, but given how they treated and acted around her. She liked the openness. She liked the sexuality and pride in oneself, the desire they gave one other. And to her. "If I wanted to continue."

"Continue what? We will always be friends, Rachel," Quinn replied.

"No, the... being in your lap, the...yeah, what we did the past three days," Rachel said. "I want that."

"Okay," Quinn said. "Then you can accompany us-"

"No, I mean," Rachel interrupted, "I want what we talked about, the being with you. Being part of your coven right? The coven. I want to be with you three." Quinn said nothing for a bit, and Rachel knew the line still as connected by the breathing into the mic. "Quinn? Is that okay?

"Yes," Quinn replied. "Yes, that is perfect. With all of us?"

Rachel smiled. "Yes."

"So, you will be the plus one to our three, or join our three and one of us would be the plus one?"

"You say it so strangely but yes," Rachel said. "It's moving fast, faster then I'd like, but...I've been alone and done a lot of soul-searching for a fifteen year old, and I...I trust you Quinn. I trust you, Santana and Brittany, all of you have made me feel stay and protected, in a way I wish you did earlier, but I might have been able to tell you the stuff I can now that I have a better idea of who I am and what I want. So, yes. Yes, I want to be with you, all of you."

"Okay," Quinn breathed out, "Okay, that would be...fantastic."

"Okay, Doctor," Rachel laughed. "So what happens now?"

"Now, we go back to sleep and tomorrow, you'll be with me. Then you'll join us for the weekend and we'll start teaching you what you need to know for the ritual to join the coven, kay?"

"I'd like that," Rachel replied. "And contractions again? I thought you were awake."

"Two-AM me isn't the only one who uses them," Quinn said, a smile in her voice.

Rachel laughed. "I look forward to seeing more of that you."

"Then Rae?"

"Yes, Quinn," Rachel replied.

"Do you have a plaid skirt, dark blue thigh-highs and a white button down shirt?"