Author's note: Please note that I never played FE 7, and FE 10 has not yet come out as of this writing. Therefore, could you please be more lenient if I am not canon? Also, I have recently realized that Nolan is actually Noyce, so I have changed the previous chapters accordingly. Thank you, Serenes Forest!

Chapter 4: Ab-normal

The Shinon Mercenaries found themselves wandering through Port Toha, looking for a reliable job that would actually pay them more than 9 coins an hour.

"Hey, you." A voice called.

Shinon's ears perked up.

"Yeah, you. There are bandits in the hills to the north of the town. They make it impossible for us to go north. If you could help take 'em down, we might actually start taking you guys seriously." The voice spoke again.

"You will? Then we'll do it! C'mon guys, we'll get our dignity back!" Shinon marched proudly. Sighing, the rest of the Mercenaries followed him.

-----------

"Hector and Lyn have been missing for too long. We will have to search for them." Eliwood announced.

Serra, Kent, Sain, their tactician Mark, Marcus, Wallace, and a large number of their comrades stood beside Eliwood as he began to rant on and on about saving the two lords.

"Why do we even bother?" Serra sighed.

"I know! I could be looking for some hotties right now!" Sain sighed.

Kent smacked his face with his hand in frustration.

"Guys, stop it. Eliwood is right. It's not right for us to abandon those two." Mark sighed.

"See? Even Mark agrees with me. Onward, people! We shall move forward to save Hector and Lyn!"

As they marched, Eliwood's band began to burst into song:

"We're off to find the Hector, The Wonderful Hector of Elibe
You'll find that he is a man of a man, if ever a man there was!
If ever oh ever a Manly Man, that brute is one because because...
Because, because, because, because, because...
Because of the ridiculous things he does.
We're off to find that Hector, that Lovable Blockhead we know!" (1.)

----------------

After wandering around in circles for a few hours, the Dawn Brigade finally snapped out of it. Now, they had entered deep into Crimea in search of Leonardo. As they were strolling forward, however, they were suddenly attacked by a group of bandits.

"Hey hey, missy. why don't you be a good girl and give Daddy some lovin'?" One of the bandits snickered as he approached Micaiah.

"Shine!" Micaiah yelled. The spell rammed into the bandit, and he screamed in pain. "My eyes... They burn! I can't see!" The bandit groaned.

Noyce was having trouble fighting against three bandit myrmidons. Eddie and Brad were fighting off twelve enemy bandits and bandit myrmidons, but their axes and swords were giving them a hard time. Laura spent her time healing Brad, but completely ignored Eddie, so, eventually, Eddie went down.

"Eddie!" Laura and Micaiah screamed.

( The song 'A Fallen Comrade' from FE 9 begins to play)

"Micaiah... If only I asked you... To bake me more cookies... Oh..." Eddie groaned as he fell on the ground.

"What... Sniff... Moving last words... Sniff..." Laura's eyes filled with tears. "I'm so sorry, Micaiah... I... Have Brad... But you lost Eddie..."

"Are you kidding me?!" Micaiah yelled at her.

Eddie started to snore, and Laura was surprised, but she smiled: "At least he's alive."

"But he's still useless, not that he ever was particularly useful..." Micaiah sighed.

"Could I get some help here?!" Brad shouted.

"Oh, right..." Micaiah and Laura rushed to his aid.

------------

The Shinon Mercenaries soon arrived at the scene, and found the Dawn Brigade doing their job for them.

"Hey, you guys wanna join us?!" Shinon shouted at Noyce.

"Micaiah!" Sothe yelled at her.

"Sothe!" Micaiah gasped with joy.

"Micaiah?" Leonardo gasped.

Micaiah hugged Sothe, but as she was doing so, she was also muttering a spell in Heron language.

"Um, hi, Micaiah..." Leonardo smiled, with a sweatdrop running down his spine.

"Shine!" Micaiah screamed.

Leonardo howled in pain, and began running frantically in circles. Micaiah continued to chase him down, casting multiple spells at him.

Shinon did not need to order the mercenaries to attack. They just did. They madly swung their weapons at the bandits, cutting down the survivors who were not taken out by the Dawn Brigade. After the battle, Sothe and Leonardo defected from the Shinon Mercenaries, and the Dawn Brigade, fully reunited once more, headed back for Daein.

Meanwhile, far in the distance, Eliwood's fleet of ships braved the waves, hoping to reunite with Hector and Lyn as soon as possible.

------------

1. I think the parody is pretty obvious. Had I not included characters from FE 7, I probably would have made a varation of this, directed at Boyd, of course. :)