(AN: Fourth chappie? Hmm, I don't usually do Gaara POV… for some reason, Sasuke is just easier to write. Maybe it's because his character allows more sarcasm…? I dunno. Anyways. Reviews are luff.)
Pairings: GaaSasu, KankuKiba, NaruSaku later
Disclaimer: Do you own Naruto? Wow, you don't either? Go. Figure. That is sooo amazing… I mean, I was sooo sure that an American fnfiction writer really owned Naruto…
Chapter Four: This Is the Best Day Ever
(Gaara POV)
For the past four years, Sasuke and I had a questionable relationship. For the first month that we had known each other, it seemed like our soul purpose in life was to crack each other's skulls open. After that, when we actually had a friendship between us, we always argues. All the time. Too much. Then, when things were getting better, when we finally began to truly understand each other, he had left… he had run away…
Through it all, I'd always loved him. I can't even count the number of times I woke up from dreams about him; dreams about him pressing his lips to mine, holding me, even just telling me he felt the same way I did. But they were dreams, and nothing more. I had no hope of being in a real relationship with him, and that hope dwindled ever more with every argument.
So how could this have happened to me?
Sasuke's arms slipped around my shoulders and pulled me closer, his warm lips still softly covering mine. I was stunned, my mind still floating about a minute in the past.
Gaara… I love you…
And now he was…
Was this a dream?
My right hand reached up and threaded into Sasuke's raven-colored hair, feeling the softness under my fingertips. It was too real. I closed my eyes to hold back the tears threatening to leak out. This wasn't a dream, it wasn't a fantasy. Sasuke was really here with me. These were his arms, his hair, his lips….
I didn't have time to think anymore. There was only one reasonable thing to do.
I kissed him back.
Before now I'd had no kissing experience whatsoever, but with Sasuke it seemed so easy to open my mouth, to push forward a tiny bit, to probe at his lips with my tongue. He let out a small gasp, his mouth cracking open, and that's all it took for the shyness to fly out the window. No more holding back.
Sasuke gripped my shoulders and slowly lowered me down flat on the bed, his mouth never leaving mine. I clung to his trembling body, arching against him as my back was pressed against the mattress. My heart was thudding so hard… My ribs were sure to break if this didn't stop, but I prayed desperately that it never would.
Sasuke's left hand wandered up to my cheek as his tongue pushed into my mouth and began rubbing against my own. I let out a soft moan, tightening my grip on his hair. God, don't let his lips stop moving, don't let his tongue stop stroking mine, don't stop, Sasuke, Sasuke—
My left hand moved to scratch down his back while my tongue pushed against his, fighting for dominance on some level. My hand roamed desperately over his body, trying but unable to take in enough, and I could tell by the burning streaks rushing across my body that he was doing the same. I couldn't breathe, but I needed more; I couldn't pull away, not now, not ever.
Sasu… ke…
But a second later Sasuke's lips ripped away from mine. I sat straight up, my mind in a daze, and automatically looked towards the door. Had Sakura or Ino walked in on us? I glanced around quickly. No, it was only me and Sasuke. So what was going on? I looked at Sasuke, and went completely still.
He was crouched on the foot of the bed, his eyes fixed on me and his fingers touching his lips. Two trails of tears leaked down his cheeks, pouring from onyx eyes that were filled with pure horror.
"Sasuke…?" I crawled forward and reached out to touch his cheek. "Sasuke, what's wrong?"
Sasuke breathed in sharply and flinched away from my hand. "Gaara, I-I—"
He leapt off the bed, pulling at his shirt. "I-I'm so sorry, I-I-I shouldn't have done that— so, so stupid—"
"What?" What was stupid? Why shouldn't he have kissed me? I wanted him to kiss me. I still wanted it.
"I…" Sasuke turned his back and hurried to the door. "I've got to go. S-see you later."
"What?!" I leapt off the bed and started forward, my heart now pounding out of fear instead of passion. "Sasuke, wait, what are you talking about? Please, don't leave, don't—"
He couldn't even look back at me. The door slammed, and he was gone. He'd left me here, staring numbly at the door, wondering how on earth this could have happened when everything had been going so right.
My fingernails dug into my chest above my cracking heart. Why…? Sasuke, did you… did you lie? Were you just messing around with me? Was this all a game?! This entire time, have I just been someone to mess with because I was an easy target?! But… I thought of the way he had kissed me. … That doesn't fit… Something's not right here… Sasuke wouldn't, he wouldn't—
The bedroom door slammed open. My head snapped up hopefully, but a moment later my heart sank; Kiba stood in the doorway, breathing heavily as if he had just run three marathons straight.
"Kiba…?"
"Oh my God, what happened?!" Kiba rushed forward, grabbed my shoulders, and shook me roughly. "What the hell did you do?!"
"What did… I do…?" I asked blankly.
"Don't play innocent with me—SHIT!! How could this have happened? I thought everything would be perfect—it was YOU!!" He stepped back and pointed at my face. "You are the weakest link!"
My patience was wearing thin. I needed to find Sasuke as soon as possible; I didn't have time for Kiba's games today. "Inuzuka, get out of the way or I—"
"Don't 'Inuzuka' me, Gaara!" He pokes my hard in the chest; he looked as angry and confused as I felt. "What the bloody HELL!! I look over and I see Sasuke running out of the room with the waterworks going—you PRICK!! I thought you loved him! You DO know that he's in love with you, right?"
My breath hitched. "So… so he does love me?"
"Um, DUH. What, did you think he was lying? Don't tell me you rejected him because of—"
"I didn't reject him!" I yelled, actually stomping my foot in frustration. "I don't know what happened, first he told me h-he loved me… and then we were- we were…"
"Making out?" Kiba asked, perking up.
"Uh… yeah, that. But then he suddenly pulled away, saying what he did was stupid and that he was sorry, and he ran out of the room."
Kiba's mouth dropped open a few inches. He ran his fingers through his messy hair, obviously thinking hard. I waited, hoping he would give me advice of some kind; he had much more experience in these kinds of situations than I did.
"Dude…" he said quietly, looking seriously up at me, "… you need to find him."
I finally snapped. "That's what I've been trying to do, but you got in the way!! For the love of—" I shoved him out of the way and ran back into the crowded room.
"Hey Gaara!" Ino called to me, waving frantically. "Whoa, were you in the bedroom with KIBA--?"
I ignored her and hurried on. Sasuke was the only thing on my mind; no one and nothing else mattered.
Where could he have gone? I'd made it all the way to just outside Naruto's door, and now I was stuck, looking around stupidly in all directions. Our room, the restrooms, the lobby-
-the roof.
Without a second thought, my hands flipped into the correct signs. Sand swirled around my body, and when my vision cleared a second later I was on the roof of the hotel.
"I… can't… take this… anymore…"
I turned around. A dark shape was hunched on the ground, shaking violently. A pale forearm was exposed, wrist up, and above it hovered a kunai, glinting sinisterly in the moonlight.
My heart stopped beating.
"No—SASUKE!!"
Sasuke whipped around to face me, but he didn't have time to do much else. Sand hurtled through the air, throwing him flat on his back and pinning his hands above his head. I crouched over him, breathing hard, and yanked the kunai out of his grasp.
"What's wrong with you?!" I yelled, waving the knife in his face. "What are you thinking?!"
Sasuke tugged desperately at his restraints; the look in his eyes was wild. "Let me go, Gaara! Let me GO!!"
"No! Not if you're going to- going to—" My teeth dug into my bottom lip. I couldn't even say it.
"Gaara, please! Just- just leave me alone! This is none of your business!"
"Like hell it isn't." I grabbed his shoulders and gave him a hard shake. "What are you thinking? Why are you doing this?"
"Because I-I-I want to die!"
SMACK!!
The sound echoed throughout the otherwise silent air. My fist was still raised, the skin around the knuckles raw. The insane light in Sasuke's eyes slowly drained away; he looked up at me, his left cheek glowing red, and he looked completely lost and afraid.
"Don't… EVER… say that again," I hissed, my voice trembling. Sasuke's onyx eyes swam with tears.
"Gaara… I'm… I… ah-"
Sasuke's body went completely limp as he sobbed brokenly, each sound rending a hole in my heart. The sand slowly slid from his wrists; I lifted him upright and cradled him to my chest, my fingers softly stroking his scalp. His pain seemed to physically cut through me like a knife; I closed my burning eyes and pressed my lips to his hair, sending a silent prayer to anyone out there to take all of his troubles away.
"I'm s-s-so sorry," Sasuke sobbed into my shirt. "I'm s-sorry, I'm sorry, I-I'm sorr—"
"Shhh…" I swiped my thumbs under his eyes, and they came back drenched. "You don't have to apologize to me…"
"Y-yes I do," Sasuke mumbled, his body wracked with more shudders as he struggled to hold back the sobs. "I'm sorry f-for everything I've done, for being stupid, for t-trying to kill m-myself, for m-making you think you had to k-kiss me back, for—"
"Hold on." I pushed him back slightly and looked him in the eye. "What was the last thing you just said?"
"I…" Sasuke pulled his bangs over his face, just like he always did when he was embarrassed. "I shouldn't have told you I l-loved you, and I shouldn't have kissed you… I think I pressured you into thinking that you had to kiss me back."
I stared in disbelief.
"You… are the BIGGEST IDIOT I have ever met."
Sasuke's cheeks flushed; his eyes were tearful again.
"So that's what this was about. You assumed that I… You didn't even let me say anything, you just ran off and… you assumed… Why would you kill yourself over an assumption?!" I finally burst out.
Sasuke blinked, his face blank. "An… assumption?" he asked, as if he had never heard the word before.
"Yes, an ASSUMPTION!! You just automatically decided that I only felt sorry for you—you are such a fool, Uchiha! You didn't even consider that I might actually love you back!"
"You… can't…" Sasuke was shaking his head desperately and trying to struggle away from me. "All of the things I've done-"
"I've done things too," I reminded him, trying to keep my voice level as I pulled him back to me.
"-I've murdered people, innocent people-"
"So have I."
"-I've been a bastard-"
"I'm not exactly the friendliest person in the world either."
"-I betrayed you and everyone else when I left to join Orochimaru-"
"And you came back, and I forgave you."
"Damn it!" Sasuke's fist thudded against my chest. "Damn it! Damn you! Why-why do you always have to do this?! You always have to be so understanding and accepting and I HATE IT! I hate it, and I hate y-y—"
He slumped over, sobbing uncontrollably again as his fists pummeled my chest weakly. The punches didn't hurt, but it was the raging emotions behind each hit that tore me to pieces. And the strangest thing was… I was happy. I'd known all along that Sasuke was angry and hurting, but he always managed to hide it behind a careless smirk or a cold scowl. I didn't care what he screamed at me or how many times he hit me, because only one thing mattered; he was finally breaking out of the cage he'd confined himself in.
Sasuke's arms eventually fell limply to his sides and the sobs subsided, though his eyes were still leaking. I lightly brushed his hair out of his face, and his onyx eyes snapped up to mine. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse from crying.
"Why… why would you ever fall in love with ME?"
I paused before answering and let my eyes roam over his face. His eyes were rimmed with red, his black hair was disheveled, the mark on his cheek where I had punched him was darkening, and yet he'd never looked more beautiful in his life.
"Because I think I see something in you… that you don't even see yourself." I brought my hands up to his face and held it close to mine. "You ARE a good person."
Sasuke's mouth quivered violently. "Fuck you," he whispered, but his voice sounded pleading instead of heated and condemning. "You act like you know everything about me when you don't!"
"Maybe I don't… but I want to. I want to be as close to you as I possibly can." I searched his eyes one last time before taking in a shaky breath.
"Sasuke, I love you."
Sasuke went completely still; for a second I thought he'd stopped breathing. His body wasn't even shaking. Then, slowly, as if it was pushing through a deep fog, a light blush lit up his face.
"Sasuke…?"
"Do you… mean that?" Sasuke asked breathlessly.
I didn't even bother answering; I leaned across the few inched separating us and pressed my lips to his. For a moment nothing happened, then Sasuke let out a small moan and kissed back, and everything turned into blissful unreality.
"Nngh… Gaara, I…" I silenced him with another kiss as I pushed him flat on his back, tracing his stomach with my fingertips. I was lost in the sudden rush of emotions that washed over me as we held each other close and one kiss slid into another and another, each kiss reminding me that this wasn't a fucked-up fantasy. I had someone to love, someone that I could really and truly love and that would give me love in return.
Uncle Yashamaru… I thought, almost grinning as I ran a hand through Sasuke's soft hair, how wrong you were…
My mouth moved to latch onto Sasuke's rapidly beating pulse; I heard him gasp for air, his chest heaving under mine to replace whatever oxygen he had lost.
"Gaara… I love you," he said quietly, hugging me almost suffocatingly tight. A small smile formed on my lips before they were pressed to the bruise on Sasuke's cheek.
"I love you, too," I whispered against his skin. "Don't ever forget that."
"Heh… how can I, if you're going to be treating me like this from now on?" He smirked and nuzzled his head against my neck, kissing it lightly. I let out a low sigh before closing my eyes and losing myself in his beauty and warmth.
The clouds from yesterday had long since disappeared, making the stars and the night sky the only witnesses to the first thing in my life that was absolutely perfect.