I begin my life anew

Chapter 3

A month after that awkward meeting with Serah, she and Snow brought me to that appointment with the ultrasonographer, I wasn't really up for it but Serah begged me to go. I didn't want to get caught up in her whining so I didn't start rejecting their offer to drive me there. On our way to the office, Serah couldn't keep her hands off my stomach, it made me uncomfortable but I just wasn't in the mood to reject her. When we arrived at the office, the room we had to wait in was filled with so many other women... This meant we had to wait longer than what I was expecting, today was going to be a long day.

When I sat down I was handed a clipboard with papers that needed to be filled out, Serah sat next to me smiling and I smirked in response. Snow sat on the opposite side of Serah, reading one of the maternal magazines, he seemed so focused in whatever he was reading. Watching Snow become so focused on the magazine, I didn't realize the young boy looking up at me from under the clipboard until one of the nurses came by to retrieve the board.

The boy smiled at me, out of kind gesture I smiled back. "Hello there." I greeted him.

"Hi pink haired lady!" He responded in between giggles.

"Where's your mother?"

"She's in the other room over there." He pointed to the large double doors next to the front desk. "She told me to wait out here, until she comes back."

That's when a foreign sense struck me, I felt like I needed to protect this boy until his mother returned. The feeling tightened up in my chest and remained in a knot. "Do you want me to wait with you until she returns?" I finally spoke.

The boy's face expressed an overwhelming feeling of happiness as his smile stretched from ear to ear. "Yes miss." He said bashfully.

I couldn't help myself but to continue smiling back, "So what is your name?" I asked.

"Raphael is my name." The boy said. "What is your name, miss?"

"My name is... Claire." The knot in my heart at that moment tightened and then released into a warm feeling.

"Are you having a baby too, Claire?" Raphael asked.

"Yes, I am." For once, when I admitted to be carrying a child I didn't regret the words that slipped through my lips... I was happy about it.

"Are you having a boy or a girl?"

I chuckled, "I don't know yet."

"Raphael!" A woman's voice called. I looked up to see Raphael's mother, who looked further along in her pregnancy than I was. The boy ran to his mother and hugged her legs. Raphael's mother approached me with a kind smile, "Thank you for waiting here with him, I hope he wasn't much trouble."

"No at all, in fact he brought my spirits up today."

"That's good," She held her son's hand. "I'm sorry to cut it short, but I have other things to do." She proceeded to the exit. "Perhaps we'll meet up somewhere at another time." I nodded with a grin as they left.

I turned to Serah who gave a smirk, "I saw you," she said. "Acting all motherly to that little boy."

"What did you want me to do?" I asked. "Tell him to get lost?"

"No, but you didn't have to act the way you did."

"What way is that?"

"You opened up to him, like a mother would." She said. "You asked him for his name, you used your real name introducing yourself, you laughed."

"Alright, your point?"

"You've been acting lately like you're not good enough to be a mother, Light." She turned her whole body towards me. "From what I just saw, you looked more than capable." I sat there staring at the floor, unable to respond to my sister.

"Claire Farron?" The nurse called.

I stood up and looked at Serah, "Are you coming?" Serah nodded and turned to Snow, "Are you coming too?" Snow lost focus in the magazine, "Oh, ugh... Yeah." He stood up with Serah and we followed the nurse.

The nurse led us to a small room with the obstetrician already there, she stood to greet us, she looked at her clipboard for a moment. "Which one of you is, Claire?" Serah pointed to me.

The obstetrician held her hand out, "I'm doctor Cassey." Her face expressed a warm smile as I took her hand and shook it lightly. "Claire, lie down and unbutton your jacket and we'll look at your baby." The obstetrician sat back down in her chair and waited for me. I sat on the bed next to her, hearing the paper sheet crinkle as I finally lied down. I unbuttoned my jacket and revealed the small bump. I felt cold on my stomach, then an image popped up on the screen...My heart jumped at the sight of the little child who lived inside of me, I felt a warm feeling accumulate in my chest seeing it make movement. I smiled at the presence of such a precious thing, for it filled me with joy.

I realized though, after a while, I put my life out on the line as a law enforcement officer... What if something were to happen to me while on the line of duty and this child suddenly became motherless? Serah and I remember the loss of our mother years ago, the years we spent without parental guidance left us to fend for ourselves, leaving each day a struggle. I would not want my child to feel the same pain as I had... The doubts of keeping this child had returned once more.