A/n: This was written via MSN correspondence, so you'd better appreciate it damn you!
Shikaku Nara (Shikamaru's father) was wandering down a back alley when he heard these words:
"SHIKA! GET YO CANDY ASS BACK HERE!"
It was his wife (and Shikamaru's mother), Yoshino Nara.
Shikaku sighed and then ran back to his wife. He knew what she wanted.
He arrived in his micro-fibre shirt and began to belt out a short song. For no apparent reason, Ino showed up then and their and began to do voice-over bits…
"He's the man. He's the man!"
"I don't know crap from anybody else but you! I wear the pants around here when I'm finished with your laundry! Coz I'm a guy you don't wanna fight. When I say "jump!" you say "yeah right!" I'm the man of this house until you get home!"
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Shikamaru (who had just come down the non-existent stairs) looked at his parents. Why, on why, did his father have to be the stripper in the family?
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"He's the man! He's the man!"
"What I say goes around here (right out the window). And I don't wanna hear a lot a whining, so I'll shut up! The sooner you learn whose boss around here, the sooner you can give me my orders dear…"
Shikaku yelped, frightened.
"Because I'm head honcho around here! (but it's all in my head!)"
"He's the man! He's the man!" By now, Ino had run away to puke, so Yoshino was providing the girly back-up vocals. Poor lady. Anyway, continuing on…
"And I can have sex anytime! (that you want). Coz I'm a man who has needs! (but their not that important). And don't expect any flowers from me, coz if I'm not mistaken you prefer jewellery. I'm the king of my castle when you're not around!"
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Shika(-maru) was busy puking on the staircase. He wasn't cleaning as he went, because that would be "Too troublesome". Why did the men of his family have a tendency to date/marry violent/harsh women? With his luck, he'll be married to Ino, Temari or Inner Sakura… Shika(-maru) shuddered at the thought…
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"He's the man! He's the man!"
"And I'll drink and watch sports whenever I want to get in trouble. And I'll come home when I'm good and ready (to sleep on the couch). Coz a man's gotta do, what a man's gotta do, and I'm gonna do what you tell me to, because I'm top dog around here! (but I've been neutered!)"
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Shikamaru looked at his almost-naked father and ran out the room, leaving Chouji to eat his chips and watch the "show" happening before his eyes… EW!
Kankuro had recently acquired the internet, for he needed to do his "homework". (See chapter 5 for more about the INTERNET)
He sat down at his computer and typed his name into an internet search engine. The answers were surprising…
"BUT I'M NOT A FRIGGIN GIRL!"
Thus, Temari heard and ran into Kankuro's room. Soon they found out what the hell was happening.
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"I typed my own name into an internet search engine, and all I got was "boobs"…"
Gaara happened to walk past (holding a muffin o.O) and began laughing manically at the fact Kankuro was "boobs"
"There goes my day again, there goes my day again. What's a man supposed to do!?"
Temari was wondering, since she got "boobs" for her name too, did that make her a man?
"No matter what I type into the damned search engine, all I get is "boobs"! There goes my day again, there goes my day. All I seem to ever get is boobs!"
Gaara, by this point, was wearing a panda costume, laughing and singing "O, Christmas Tree" at the top of his lungs. Having the fact his siblings were "boobs" obviously freaked him out. And since he wasn't used to being freaked out… well people show their emotions differently…
"I typed your name in too Gaara!" Kankuro yelled at his brother, getting angry. Gaara gulped.
"Yes, you're a "boob" too…"
Gaara screamed.
"Everyday I have the purest of intentions, but I get ambushed by this time wasting invention!"
Temari and Gaara echoed: "Time wasting invention!"
"Not talking 'bout the 'net! I'm talking 'bout "boobs"!"
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"boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs, boob, boobs, boobs, boobs, boob, boob, boobie, boob, boob, boob."
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"There goes my day again, there goes my day again. These days when I'm on the 'net, I just cut the crap and type in "boobs"!"
A/n: Yeah, it was short. Gaara is now seriously screwed up. He needs therapy… Yessir, yes indeed… Please review, we live off them! Also, the songs are "The Man Song" by Bob and Tom, and "Boobs" by Tripod. Hope you liked!
CRT: You'd better have! Or I will send my army of "Bleaves" after you!
TSA: Yes Jo, of course you will… AND THEN YOU WILL KILL ALL OF OUR READERS!
CRT: Do I look like I care!?
TSA: Just read and review please…