Disclaimer: The characters belongs to Hiro Mashima

Rogue POV of the second winter from my fic for Seasons. Angst because I can. Not that bad tho, if you read the other one, you know how this ends.

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Solitude

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Being alone was, by definition, the act to being away from other people, and since he was always surrounded by guild members, the feeling growing inside him had no sense. He was never really alone, because the guild was always full of people and all his missions were done with Sting. They even shared a room, and the few times the White Slayer wasn't with him, he still had Frosch.

However, he couldn't stop the freezing sensation inside his chest. He had always known something wasn't right with Sabertooth. He had seen a guild before, and even when Phantom Lord wasn't the best example and there were a lot of things wrong with them, he had an idea of what a guild was supposed to be.

A guild, he guessed, should be about people working together to improve and get better at whatever their magic was. His guild, instead, didn't seem anything like that. Interactions between guild mates were limited to silent nods and sparring from time to time. The only "team work" they did was for the Games, and even then it was more like a bunch of people fighting alone but following the same goal.

He couldn't stop feeling it had been a mistake to join Sabertooth, but it was already too late to leave. He thought the master won't let them go. Having two DragonSlayers did a lot of good propaganda for the guild, especially when the other ones had disappeared long ago. Also, Sting didn't want to leave the guild and Rogue wasn't strong enough to leave by his own. He didn't dare to ask him about it either. They didn't talk too much anymore.

They used to be so close that, when they joined Sabertooth, people started to call them the Twin Dragons. They had remained the same for years, their friendship being barely tolerated for the benefit they were for their master. And then, not so long ago, it changed. It was so sudden that Rogue wasn't prepared for it, he didn't see it coming. One day they were friends, as always, and next day Sting barely talked to him. And even worst, he didn't just lose a friend, he lost the person he loved the most.

If he were a more romantic person, he would say he had loved him since the first time he saw him back that old town. However, that was probably an exaggeration and the true should be to say he fell in love with him day after day, little by little, with all the joy, pain, tears and smiles shared between them. He realized when he was sixteen, but sure enough he had loved Sting for a long time before. He just didn't want to act on it, because the friendship they had was enough for him. It was enough to just share their time together, planning their missions, and enjoying the free time after completing their job. It was enough to have Sting by his side, as a friend and a support, as someone that could understand him and would always be with him. Until it wasn't enough anymore.

Sting pushed him away, and he wasn't sure what happened. He didn't know if he did something wrong, Sting noticed his feelings or if it was something else. It didn't matter. Whichever it was the reason, they drifted apart. Sting didn't smile to him anymore, not like he used to do. He stayed away from him every time he could, and they didn't even talk about their missions anymore. Nothing was the same, even when an outsider couldn't see the difference. And Rogue felt as lonely, abandoned and betrayed as when Skiadrum disappeared from the world.

At first, he thought he was seeing things but soon it was obvious Sting was avoiding him. And it hurt, because they had been together so much time he had been sure that they could overcome any problem. That they would always be there for each other. It hurt to think that Sting just threw him away one day, for whatever reason he had. That he didn't even talk to him or gave him an explanation.

He wanted to ask what the problem was, but he was also scared of knowing the answer. He feared a confrontation would finally break the last remaining straw of their friendship and it would be over. He was probably weak to think that way, but he needed to have at least that little shadow of what he had once. He needed to see him, to share their missions, to keep training together and improving their fight style and their unison raid. He could lie to himself, trying to act as if everything were still normal.

The only thing that didn't change was Frosch. The little exceed was the only one who kept him a little grounded and, for his sake, Rogue tried to overcome his feelings. Frosch was sad if he was sad, so he hid it the best he could and slowly shielded himself from the outside. He closed his heart, because being open hurt and he needed to be strong for his little friend.

Meanwhile, deep inside his heart, his love for Sting survived, along with the loneliness and the disappointing their broken friendship left behind.