The next day was Wednesday, meaning that Ace and the twins' mothers' party was in four days. The day was fairly uneventful; Kyoya, Tamaki and I had gotten into a pretty good routine where Kyoya and I would debate the current class work and any other subject that came up while simultaneously ignoring Tamaki whenever he started to ramble about his beauty or the Host Club, or really anything. That morning, I was sitting in my seat in our first period class when Tamaki and Kyoya strolled in and were instantly bombarded by waves of excited girls asking what about some secret 'theme' they had heard the club was doing for the afternoon. Tamaki announced,
"My darling princesses, all will be revealed at the Host Club this afternoon!" They walked over and slipped into their usual seats next to me, in the back corner of the classroom. I turned to Kyoya and asked in a slightly amused voice,
"What's this about a theme?" Kyoya turned to glance at me, an evil glint in his eyes that I was beginning to recognize as a sign of being up to no good.
"Why Yuki, part of being a Host is entertaining the ladies. Thus, occasionally the club has a theme for the afternoon, which all of the club members must follow along with." I groaned softly, rolling my eyes at Kyoya,
"I can't stand 'themed' events; they always end up being complete clinches compared to the culture they are trying to imitate! Plus, we have to dress up?" Suddenly Tamaki jumped out of his seat and leaned over me, pressing his face up to mine and waving a finger in front of me,
"Now Yuki! As a Host it is your job to entertain the ladies by whatever means necessary. Besides, today our theme is going to turn the Host Club into an Arabian Palace!" Tamaki was looking dreamily off into space and had apparently forgotten that he was bent over me, with his face hovering a few inches above mine. I pushed him away, snapping,
"Tamaki, get out of my personal space!" Tamaki sat back down at his desk, a wounded expression on his face. I turned back to Kyoya, who was watching Tamaki and me with an amused look. He turned back to his notebook and remarked,
"I will have your Arabian costume ready when you reach the Host Club today, you can change when you arrive." The blood drained from my face when he said that, if I was changing out in the open with the boys, they would find out I was a girl. I started to stammer,
"W-wait…Um…" Kyoya stared at me, eyebrows raised,
"Do you have a problem, Yuki?" I scowled; I wasn't giving myself away that easily, I would figure something out. I turned towards the front of the classroom, where the teacher had begun to teach the lesson,
"Nope, no problem at all Kyoya."
LATER
When I got to the Host Club that afternoon it was decked out in bright-colored, mosaic patterned tapestries and couches and pillows in Arabian inspired motifs. I was actually somewhat impressed, Tamaki, well actually probably Kyoya, had done a good job of making the Third Music Room look like an Arabian bazaar. When I arrived Tamaki was handing out costumes and trying to convince Ace to wear some flimsy sari-like dress that he was also making Haruhi wear. Ace cried out,
"No Tamaki I'm not going to wear that!" I walked over, telling him sharply,
"Tamaki if she says no, she means no." I guess since he had seen the pictures Tamaki was trying to get Ace in touch with her 'feminine' side just like he was with Haruhi. I glared at Tamaki, he had no right to force Ace into doing anything she didn't want to. Ace sighed and reluctantly told me,
"I'm going to go change now, go easy on him Yuki, okay?" I sighed, it was probably best for us not to pick a fight with Tamaki on this, but I still didn't have to like it,
"Fine Ace." Ace left with Haruhi to go get changed. My stomach sank, was now the moment when they would give me a costume and I would have to tell them all I was girl? At that moment I noticed Kyoya standing off to the side, once he saw I was looking at him, he made a quick gesture to a room hidden away in the corner of the club. I quickly walked over to him; he pointed inside the room and informed me,
"Your costume is inside, you can change in there." I exhaled deeply, Kyoya had come through for me after all, and that was actually quite surprising. And a little frightening considering I would now owe him in return. I told him quietly,
"Thanks, Kyoya." He just nodded and gave me a small smirk before walking away. I slipped inside the room and closed the door, before quickly changing into my costume, which was a pair of crimson silken pants that gathered at the ankle and an embroidered tunic and turban. When I came back out Tamaki was ordered everyone,
Quick someone's coming, get in your places!" Ace and I slipped into position on the opposite side of the twins as everyone else arranged themselves in front of the door, with Tamaki sprawled in front, his golden jewelry winking brightly. The doors opened to reveal a little boy wearing the Ouran elementary uniform, staring up at us with wide eyes. The Hosts stared back and the twins commented,
"Oh it's just a kid."
"And a boy, no less." Tamaki smiled at the boy and asked,
"What's wrong, little lost boy? Did you need something from our palace?" The boy gaped at us, and then replied in a frightened voice,
"Y-you're this place's king?" I mentally groaned, great the little kid had just unintentionally reminded Tamaki that he was the "king" of the Host Club. I glared at the boy, even though it wasn't exactly
his fault, he had still just inflated Tamaki's already massive ego. The boy stared at us,
"Well, am I wrong?" Tamaki gestured at the little kid, clearly imaging himself as an all-powerful Arabian king receiving his subjects. The image made me want to choke, even though it did bring up pleasant memories of reading The Arabian Nights.
"Here, little lost boy. What did you just call me?"
"King."
"Oh, 'king'! Yes indeed, I am the King of this Host Club." I rolled my eyes, everyone knew that Tamaki was king only on the official public face of the Host Club; Kyoya easily controlled the Club's actual happenings from behind the scenes, manipulating Tamaki when necessary.
"I'm Takaoji Shiro, Elementary 5th year, Class A! I hereby petition the Host Club to take me on as an apprentice." I nearly burst out laughing, he couldn't be serious, he was in elementary school! However, apparently the rules of the outside world don't apply to the Host Club, since the next thing I knew; Shiro was the Host Club apprentice.
NEXT DAY
The next afternoon at the Host Club when Ace and I had just finished entertaining a group of girls when Ace dropped her head onto my shoulder as they were leaving, sighing and closing her eyes in exhaustion. I glanced down at her and realized there were large circles beneath her eyes,
"Any reason that you're so tired, Ace?" She sighed again,
"Well yesterday Mori helped me study for history, and since I'm not very good at history that took almost four hours. Then once I got home my mother decided that she wanted my help planning the party, so that was another four hours. So by the time I started my homework it was about midnight. Which took three more hours, so I didn't get to bed until about three, and had to get up at five. So I only got two hours of sleep, and I am thoroughly exhausted." I raised my eyebrows, that sounded awful, no wonder she was tired,
"Well I'm sorry that you had such an exhausting night." She leaned further on me, breathing lightly as if she was about to fall asleep,
"It's okay, I'll just be glad when my mother's party is over and I can get extra sleep again." I nodded in agreement. Before I knew it the twins appeared in front of us and began speaking and finishing one another's sentences,
"Are you two sure,"
"You're just friends?" Inside my head there was a minor explosion, were they serious? How many times had we told them, but they still didn't listen! I yelled at them,
"Shut up you twins! Of course we're sure. She's just exhausted, okay." I glared at them until the twins turned and left. Ace and I sat there in silence, listening as Tamaki spoke to his customers about Shiro.
"My, Tamaki-kun, you have an apprentice?"
"Yes. He's still in grade school, but I like the look in his eye."
"Can such a small boy serve as a host?"
"Love has nothing to do with age." I snorted, and muttered that if that was true, Tamaki was probably a pedophile. Ace laughed lightly at my comment and we kept listening, "No, to tell the truth, even my heart begins to pound, and I always become like a little boy, when you are before me."
"Ah, Tamaki-kun…" I then heard Haruhi's voice echoing outside of their conversation, she was asking Kyoya,
"Letting him observe them at such a close distance has to make it difficult, doesn't it?" Ace frowned, and opening her eyes, glanced over at Tamaki and Shiro. When she saw Shiro sitting right next to Tamaki and his client, pressing his face up to them, Ace jumped out of her seat in surprise, it was a very awkward image. I giggled at her reaction, and stood up beside her, we walked over to where Haruhi and Kyoya were watching Tamaki, the girl and Shiro. Kyoya smiled and remarked dryly,
"He usually insists that he becomes proportionally more beautiful the closer people see him." That was actually incorrect, the closer you examine an object the more flaws and imperfections are revealed, from far away those flaws are impossible to see. Didn't Tamaki know anything? Kyoya turned back to his notebook, "Let's just let them be." I crept around to the back of where Kyoya was standing, and standing on my tip-toes, tried to read what he was writing. Kyoya and his black notebook had been driving me a little bit crazy. It was impossible to see though since I was so much shorter then him. I slipped back over to standing next to Ace and we all stood there listening to Tamaki and his client.
"You bad girl, who showed me the forbidden fruit, you're like a mermaid princess, bringing light to my sea of loneliness." Oh god, does he really think she's going to fall for that?
"I'm a mermaid princess?" Oh well, apparently she is going to fall for that, I shook my head, the girls at Ouran… Shiro suddenly exclaimed,
"If you ask me, you're more like the carp we have in our pond at home. I wouldn't want to offer you any such clumsy flattery." I gasped in delight, had he really just said that? The girl cried out,
"Carp?" Tamaki scrambled for a response,
"Oh, no he's just a child, you know. I mean, children are so frank." I started to giggle; Tamaki was obviously making things worse.
"Frank?" Tamaki paled, stammering,
"S-still, they may be frank, but I wouldn't say that you look like a carp. And supposing that you did look like a carp, it's the most beautiful carp of them all." I collapsed to the ground, holding my side, lost in a fit of hysterical laughter. Tamaki had just drowned himself in his own dumb flattery! I guess that's what happens when you don't actually know how to please a girl. I tried to get up, but started laughing frantically again when the girl shrieked,
"So I'm a carp, after all!"
"No… I didn't mean…" The girl ran away as fast as she could from Tamaki,
"Tamaki-kun, you idiot!"
"Wait, my mermaid princess!" Shiro rolled his eyes and told the now enraged Tamaki,
"Don't cry, you crybaby." The twins chortled in the backround,
"Good for you, sir!"
"That's an adorable little apprentice you have there." Ace looked down at me, I was still on the floor, I had stopped laughing but I had become very distracted by the patterns on the ceiling and hadn't gotten up yet.
"Want help up?" I nodded and Ace stretched out a hand, helping me to my feet. Of course, right as I got up the twins started playing their 'brotherly love' routine, very randomly,
"Hikaru…Hikaru, do you wish you had a brother like this?
"Silly…I could search the whole world, and not find a better brother than you, Kaoru." By now they were in each other's faces, holding each other tightly,
"Oh, Hikaru…" Their routine worked as some of the girls began to squeal and exclaim,
"Forbidden brotherly love!" I sighed; I don't like I will ever understand that part of Ouran's gender culture. Shiro leapt back, repulsed,
"Y-you're homos! And what's worse, you're twins, so that's kinkan youkan!" Ace told the twins,
"You twins, stop scaring the poor boy." The twins gave her blank looks. I agreed with Ace, Shiro really didn't need to be seeing incestuous twins, and the mysterious fact that the girls here seem to be enchanted by them. I leapt nimbly over to the twins and smacked them back on the back of the head. Ace grinned,
"Thank you Yuki." Tamaki commented to Shiro,
"I think what you mean to say is kinshin soukan." Shiro turned to look at Tamaki, a frightened look on his face. Suddenly, to make matters worse Honey randomly appeared, throwing himself on Shiro and shouting,
"Shiro-chan! Want to have some cake with me? We have chocolate and strawberry." Shiro threw him off and cried out in irritation,
"Back off!" I raised my eyebrows; Shiro had some attitude for a 5th grader. "What grade are you in? What are you doing, wearing a high school uniform?" Ace and Mori quickly went over to where Honey was, who looked crushed by Shiro's rejections. The Host Club certainly does on some emotional roller coasters during these afternoons. Mori stood over the two of them, asking in his deep voice,
"What's wrong, Mitsukuni?" Ace added,
"Are you alright?" Shiro panicked as he looked up at Mori, and Honey looked even more upset and confused as Shiro began to rage at him,
"No fair! You can't go having older friends like that!" Honey rapidly climbed up Mori's back and clung to his shoulder, crying like a toddler. And yet they are both in the same class… Ace told Shiro patiently,
"Shiro…Honey is in the same grade as Mori and I." Shiro was in the midst of a complete meltdown, and he quickly backed away from Mori and Honey, walking straight into Haruhi who was carrying a tray of hot tea. Luckily, Haruhi didn't drop her tray. Haruhi smiled at Shiro and told him,
"Are you alright? Ah, you're surprised at how everyone here, other than maybe Ace and Yuki, is so unusual?" I smiled; yes Ace and I are just two girls pretending to be guys… but other then that we are mostly normal. "I was also unable to get a grasp of the atmosphere around here at first, which considerably threw me for a loop." Shiro stared intently at Haruhi, his eyes wide, "Something wrong?"
"Are you a queer?" I sighed, he had certainly figured that out quickly. Tamaki and the twins began to panic, Tamaki rushed over exclaiming,
"Okay, that will do. Why don't you carry the tea for Haruhi?" The twins chimed in next,
"Haruhi really is manly, isn't he?"
"Go on, manly Haruhi-kun, let Shiro take care of that tea set. It's part of his training." Tamaki and the twins all laughed nervously, looking with surprise at Shiro, who had figured out what it had taken them a while to realize. Haruhi told Shiro,
"Okay, it's heavy, so be careful." Haurhi handed the tea set to Shiro, who dropped it immediately with a loud crash. Ace frowned at Shiro,
"Geez Shiro, you need to learn to listen to others better." Shiro ignored her, yelling at Haruhi,
"It's not my fault, okay? It's your fault for trying to make me do it." I widened my eyes, was this kid serious? I have dealt with some bratty kids, but Shiro was the worst. Ace's muscles tensed, and her face darkened,
"Say why?" Ace might have gone and tried to beat Shiro up but Mori told her quickly in a low, calm voice,
"Relax." Ace jumped, surprised, but loosened her muscles and lost the enraged expression from her face.
"Thanks." At that point Ace and I told all the girls that had come to the Host Club that afternoon that they had better leave; they were willing to do so since all the Hosts were paying attention to what was going on with Shiro, not to time. Shiro shouted at Tamaki,
"Hey, you should make the queer handle doing the chores! Instead, hurry up and teach me how to make a woman happy!" Tamaki gasped, and then exclaimed in a furious voice,
"What kind of attitude is that? And above all, I'm not letting you get away with smarting off to Haruhi. Place him in isolation!" The twins shouted,
"Yes sir!" And then a metal cage fell out of nowhere and landed over Shiro, locking him in.
"What is this? How come I've got cell bars dropping down on me?" Ace and I spoke in unsion,
"Yeah, really, why?" Haruhi continued after Ace and I finished,
"Yeah that's a good question, what do you guys even use it for? This is supposed to be a music room, right?" Shiro shrieked,
"Come on, let me out! Is this any way to treat your dear apprentice?" By now Tamaki had calmed down, and was sitting and drinking a cup of tea. He commanded imperiously,
"You stay in there until you learn your lesson. I took you as my apprentice because you were serious about wanting to become a host, but maybe my expectations were wrong." Shiro began to mope and whine in a tragic voice,
"I am serious. Seriously serious. I want to become a host, too! I don't have any time! Show me how! You like girls, too…You like seeing girls with happy faces, so that's why you're a host, right? Please, show me how to do it! You're a genius at it aren't you, king?" Shiro had certainly figured out how to flatter Tamaki…his speech was odd though, why did he feel this urgent need to be able to make girls happy? I leaned over to Ace and whispered,
"I bet you Tamaki is going to fall for this kids act." Ace nodded. Tamaki told Shiro,
"Well you may be sassy, but your well to become a host does at least seem to be genuine. Moreover, you are a lot like me in some ways." I almost choked, and said out loud with Haruhi,
"You poor kid." If Shiro was the boy version of Tamaki, I felt very sorry for him.
"Then, you'll turn me into the kind of host that can make women happy?"
"A host that is unable to make a woman happy is no host at all. Very well, if that's how badly you want it, think about how best to use the material you've got to work with."
"Material?" Kyoya launched into his Host Club speech next, as he spoke roses appeared in each of our hands,
"At Ouran Host Club, our fundamental policy is to use our own personal characteristics to meet the needs of our guests. Starting with the 'princely type', Tamaki…" Tamaki then posed, holding up a white rose. "Then there's the 'strong silent type' Mori." Mori had a dark blue rose. "There's the 'boy-Lolita type'…" Honey had a pink rose. "There's the 'Little-devil type'…" Hikaru had a blue rose, while Kaoru had an orange rose. "Then the 'cool type'." Kyoya himself had a violet rose. "We pride ourselves on our many variations. With the new additions of our natural rookie, Haruhi…" She had a red rose. "The 'friendly type' Ace." Ace had a black rose. "And the 'gentle type' Yuki." I had a green rose. "…we've got just about the perfect assortment. I'm not so sure we're going to find a new type beyond these."
I found Kyoya's speech to be quite interesting, I hadn't realized that everyone in this club was categorized and labeled. But it went beyond labeling, the different types were a way to maintain the balances of different people, it was like human chemistry, add too much of one element and something's going to explode, or the equation won't function correctly. Why does it not surprise me like Kyoya thinks of human relations in terms of equations of people? The twins spoke, considering Shiro's type,
"His age suggest the boy Lolita type..."
"..but that would overlap with Honey-sempai." Honey began to sob when they said that, Ace quickly knelt down next to him as he asked her,
"Is he going to replace me?" Ace placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and told Honey,
"Nobody is going to replace you Honey. We are your friends, so don't worry about it, okay?" She smiled at him, and he gave a small smile back. I remembered her telling me that she didn't like dealing with children, so I couldn't help teasing her,
"I never pictured you as a motherly type." She glared at me,
Hey I resent that! Just because I've told you I don't like kids too much doesn't mean I can't take care of them." She stuck her tongue out at me; I shrugged and chuckled to myself,
"And you said my reactions are amusing…" Suddenly a shrill, high-pitched voice echoed through the room, and I whirled around to see a high school aged girl appear with a large bow in her hair,
"Tepid! Quite tepid! Gentlemen of the Host Club, to think that you'd be so lackluster in your character analysis, I am a little bit dumbfounded."
"All right, manager, how you'd work with the material he's got? We've already got the boy Lolita type covered with Honey-semapi." I wondered if this girl was Renge, I had heard one or two of the Hosts mentioning her, but she was before I had become a Host. She was continuing to screech,
"This is why I say you're lackluster! Listen up! While it 's true that there are some girls who feel their hearts beat faster in a way that's hard to explain over boys of a younger age group, or who have baby-faces, who we call shotokon fans, it is still a fairly board category, whose preferences can be further split into even more delicate classifications. Yes, while Haninozuka-sempai may represent the little boy type of his boy Lolita category, in his case, the direction he should take…is the naughty-boy type, without a doubt!" Was this irritating girl actually our manager? Goodness, that was unforntunate…
"The naughty type?" The cage lifted from around Shiro, and he was staring at all the Hosts in disbelief and repulsion. I couldn't blame the kid; I never had to deal with anything as crazy as this when I was in 5th grade… I tugged on Ace's sleeve and whispered,
"We have a manager?" She shrugged and told me distractedly,
"Yes, well she isn't really our manager. It's a long story. But basically she moved here from France after seeing a picture of Kyoya and she deluded herself into thinking that he was her fiancée, made us do some weird video, which you might be able to get from Kyoya, and she ended up learning a lesson, but still thinks she is our manager." I nodded my head slightly, still confused at what she was doing here. Ace continued, "Uh, if you want a better explanation, then you should ask Kyoya, or something else." I nodded my head again, making a mental note to ask Kyoya about her later.
"I guess that makes sense…" Shiro shouted out, apparently disgusted with the entire Host Club,
"Never mind! There's no way I'll make her happy with this." Haruhi whispered in confusion, more to herself,
"Her?" I nodded, Shiro must be talking about some girl that he was in love with. And I guess, he thought the only way to make her love him back, was to become as charming and woman-pleasing as a Host? I sighed, that was severely twisted logic. He should just tell her how he feels, instead of trying to become the 5th grade version of Tamaki! Shiro ran towards the doors as Tamaki called after him,
"Hey Shiro! You still have your applied technique lesson coming up!" Renge pouted and complained,
"Younger boys are just no good for anything, huh? After I took the trouble of coaching him, he won't keep going." Renge got back on top of the machical platform she had appeared on and disappeared back into the ground. I shook my head; this place was just too much for me sometimes. Tamaki frowned at Shiro as he ran out the door,
"What a selfish kid, not taking a liking to the lessons he was getting." Haruhi told Tamaki flatly,
"Typically, no one would take a liking to that sort of lesson. But never mind that, aren't you a little bit concerned about him? 'I don't have any time.' What could that mean? What's more, he said something about a 'her.'" I nodded, Haruhi was right. There was something more to Shiro, and to his story then meets the eye.