Hi there chicky's i am eternally sorry that this took so long, especially with me being on holidays, but all i can say, is that study sucks and i wish school was over for good. and i wish that i could bring out 2 chapters ever week, but that is almost impossible, what with finals coming up. so i hope you will enjoy this, i was going to put a lemon in, but i didn't think that it worked, you will understand why.

Chapter 4: Explanations

EPOV

I couldn't stop myself. It's like I've got this built in sensor with her, and I hated it, I could almost feel her very presence, yet there was two layers of brick and glass, not to mention the side fence between us. It's not fair for her to have this pull from me. Why did this have to happen to me again? Oh yeah that's right, it's because I'm a sick perverted teacher, that can't keep it in his pants for a year, stupid bastard that I am.

They were all sitting in the living room, directly opposite the piano in Mrs. Clearwater's house. I couldn't concentrate, I could never teach properly with her in the same room, yet now as I tried not to watch them together; his hands around her shoulders, tickling her in the side, her snuggling closer to him, I could not help but wonder, why can't that be me?

Wait

What? No it was a mistake, and a big one at that Cullen. It could and should never be that, again, ever. I was tempted to just start banging my head against the wall, screw the fact that I was in the middle of teaching a student, albeit a kind older lady, and not give a shit. Student... Shit and that brought me back to Bella. Fuck my life.

No, I just needed to talk to her, tell her I was sorry, that it was a mistake, that I never wilfully meant to seduce her, ok well that was a lie... what I mean is that I never meant for it to go as far as it did, and that it was all my fault not hers, I mean shit, I was supposed to be the responsible one. I was supposed to tell her good luck in the future, and hope to hell that she transferred out of my class and my life forever. Yeah easier said than done, Fuck I wish I had brought a little liquid courage, but in all honesty, I never in a fuck's chance thought that what had gone down tonight would occur, I mean she never ever mentioned a boyfriend once in all the six months that I've had the pleasure of knowing her, maybe that's because it's none of your business Cullen, you fuckup.

Even sitting there in the drawing room, with old Mrs. Clearwater, couldn't stop my mind from wandering, back to those few minutes when I felt our precarious student teacher relationship slip.

I surveyed her in the chair in front of my desk, watching her fill out applications, waiting so I could read over them.

"You're very talented Bella, what do you want to do? Where have you decided to apply to? Are you going to stick near Forks, or do you want to go abroad?" I said to her kindly.

She laughed at me

"Are you always this forthcoming with questions?"

I laughed

"No, but I guess I'm genuinely interested in what people plan on doing after they get out" I didn't mention that I really only cared what she was doing, but I continued anyway,

"I mean I never imagined myself as a teacher, but here we are" I finished smiling at her. She smiled back curiously before opening her mouth, her lips full and plump, oh god. Focus Cullen Focus.

"So, why did you become an English Teacher Mr. Cullen?"

"Just so you know, you can call me Edward if you like," I told her, yes it slipped out of my mouth before I could stop myself, but to hear her say my name, instead of the Mr. Cullen shit, made not only my dick ache, but my chest as well, surprisingly.

"To be honest, I'm not really sure, I guess teaching was always in my mind, but at first I was going to do Medicine or Music, because believe it or not I'm actually a child prodigy at the piano," I winked at her, and she laughed.

"But I had a dream one night, during freshman year of college, and I was in a similar room to this laughing with kids and joking around, and I rather liked the image, so I signed up for education the next day."

"So a dream that you had one night, out of the blue, made you want to become a teacher?" She asked incredulously

I laughed at her

"Well yes it sounds kind of crazy I'll admit, but I wouldn't be here helping you with applications, if I didn't listen to my head saying education, education, education"

I chanted the end of my sentence and she laughed again, I was really starting to like it, maybe it would be possible to stay friends with her after school I mused before the nagging annoying voice, reminded me that I could never keep it in my pants if I didn't have a boundary. She pulled me from my stupor

"So you became a teacher, but why English? If you loved medicine and music, why not a biology teacher, or a music teacher?"

"You'll have to thank my friend Rosalie for that, she told me that I was too much of a pretentious ass to be a teacher in Music or Biology" I laughed, "She said that if I went into either fields as a teacher, I'd become a bossy know it all, that she had to step in and not only save myself from the travesty, but my colleagues and students."

She laughed rather hard.

"Well no offence, but you can be kind of pretentious; I can only imagine you in Biology and Music"

"Hey! Well anyway I guess English was the next choice, I was generally good at everything," she coughed when I said this, something that sounded a little like "pretentious" but I continued "but English was something that I enjoyed thoroughly, and I am a secret fan of the classics, I spent many nights in high school sitting in my room reading."

"Oh ok I guess that makes sense" she said and smiled up at me, I swear my heart jumped slightly, and I frowned, hoping that I there wasn't anything wrong, but I shook my head and looked down at her, suddenly remembering my original question

"So you know you never did answer my question, Bella"

"Oh yeah, well, now I don't want you going all conceited on my ass, but I want to do English, I was thinking creative writing or teaching, or something along those lines"

My smile widened, and I chuckled to myself

"So this sudden urge to go into English, has absolutely nothing to do with me?" I grinned at her cockily

"No you cocky Bastard- oh sorry Mr. Cullen, er... I mean Edward? I didn't mean to call you a cocky Bastard" she said nervously, but I'm sure I heard her say "even if you are one" under her breath, and I couldn't help but laugh. She glared at me, making me snicker at her.

"Anyway" she rolled her eyes, "To be honest I'm not sure where I want to go, I'm applying to UW, I mean it's going to be hard to leave Charlie, but I kind of want to go out and see the world, hence the other applications, not that I care where you know?"

I nodded my head in understanding.

"So what happens if you gain acceptance to a school abroad, won't it be hard leaving everybody?" I was genuinely curious as to her life, not that you should be Cullen.

"It'll be hard leaving Charlie, he's really the only family I have left now," she paused looking away from me. I wanted to force her head back towards so she would look me in the eyes and tell me.

"but all my friends are going abroad too, Alice and Jasper are wanting to go to the East Coast, and while I'd love to go with them, I don't want to just be the third wheel around them."

"Ahh.. the proverbial third wheel, I don't think I can count the many times I have had to deal with that" I chuckled remembering just yesterday the consequences of Emmett and I going out only to have Rosalie thwart my plans.

"And there's no one else?"

"well," she blushed, "There's no one else I want to spend four years of college with"

I tried to think of any other conversations that had come up that could have hinted toward her dating. The only person she had talked about was Charlie, her father, how did I not know about "Jake" wait, why I did I care? Sure I thought she was absolutely stunning, and to a degree she was a friend, but that didn't mean anything did it? Of course not, I was just protective of her; I wanted it to be me, to make sure she was alright after everything that had happened. Yeah that's it.

"Edward darling, you seem a bit out of it, you know we can always reschedule our lesson?"

Mrs. Clearwater looked at me kindly worrying, but she was always like that, she was always so caring and kind to me. I sighed, I knew I was really in no condition to teach, so I took her up her offer, telling her I'd call and rearrange a time.

I walked back to the window to pick up my books. I always sat near the window so I could glance out to see Bella. I guess it was just instinct, but I looked up one last time, to see her looking at me, her deep brown eyes meeting my green. I needed to talk to her. I jerked my head in the direction of her front yard, my eyes never leaving hers, and she nodded ever so slightly to me.

I watched as she stood up, talking to the rest of them, not that I could hear what was being said, quickly slipping out of the room.

I followed her lead, and spoke briefly to Mrs. Clearwater, apologizing, but she waved me off, telling me it was fine.

I walked out the door, glancing towards my right, and saw Bella sitting on her front porch, staring down at her feet. I walked toward her quickly, suddenly becoming nervous, and upset at her downcast frame.

"Bella we need to talk"

BPOV

It had been nice to see Jake again after so long. I put all my grief and hysteria and locked it tight at the back of my brain, so I could enjoy the presence of my Best-Friend. He picked me up and swung me around, in such a Jake like fashion, I could help but laugh at him, feeling slightly relieved at the welcome distraction. That was until I saw Edward's eyes; I saw the sadness, the anger, the self-loathing and most of all disgust. I was hurt. I truly was sorry, and of course I was going to apologize, but still. But I just locked it up with everything. I didn't want to ruin everyone's night with a pity party. Especially when I couldn't tell them what was wrong. So I relaxed, it was always so easy with Jake. He didn't expect anything, and always had the ability to make me feel better. The hairs on the back of my head prickled slightly every now and then, like someone was watching me, but I put that at the back of my mind and snuggled closer to Jake. After about fifteen minutes I was starting to get bored, so I untangled myself from Jake, and got up preparing to clean up everything and try and not think about Edward, but of course speak of the devil. As soon as I got up I saw him staring at me from the window of Mrs. Clearwater's place. He looked like shit, but I'm sure I didn't look much better, and he nodded his head to the front yard. I sighed, so I was expected to talk about this right now, with friends and family over, great. Fuck my life.

"I'm just going to go clear my head outside, I need a little air, it's a little stuffy in here, with three guys eating and watching the game" I teased at them

"Bells, come on I only just got here, stay for a little bit," Jake whined

"I'll be right back I promise, just in time to watch you clean up your dishes Jacob Black"

"Aw... Bells, fine" he huffed at me

I chuckled at them and opened the door to wait on my porch.

I heard the front door of Mrs. Clearwater's house open, and I immediately looked at the ground, I couldn't face him, it was just too embarrassing. Fear fuelled adrenaline rushed through my veins as I heard him approach my front steps.

"Bella, we need to talk"

Those four fucking words just about ended my sanity, here it was, his reluctance to deal with me

I sighed; couldn't this wait another fucking day, so I could clear my head? No of course not, he had probably come over here to first blame me, then make sure I kept my mouth shut, like I would tell anyone, but his face unsuccessfully masking his disgust of me, and something else, filled me with a sudden bout of anger and with that I lost the plot.

"I know, and before you start screaming and yelling about how irresponsible and childish I've acted, and that you never want to ever see me again," I started hissing angrily, "I remind you Mr. Cullen, that you didn't stop it either, so you are just as much to blame for this, and I know it will never happen again," my voice lowered to a whisper

"and I'd just like to apologize for my behaviour, I understand it was entirely my fault, and I'm sorry I put you in this position-"

Before I could finish my apology, he butted in.

"You think I was coming over here to blame you for everything? For fuck's sake, I know I am partly to blame, and I was going to apologize, and ask that you keep this," he said gesturing between us, "to yourself, and that includes your boyfriend" he spat. I stood there shocked, mouth hanging wide open...boyfriend?

"I can't believe you didn't even tell me you had a boyfriend" he mumbled to himself. That got me angry, who the fuck did he think he was? Was I supposed to tell him everything about my personal life, not that I had a boyfriend, but who the fuck was he talking about?

"Not that it's any of your business Mr. Cullen," I sneered to his face, "But who the fuck is my boyfriend?"

Those green eyes that I had fantasized about over and over flashed with anger.

"Have you already forgotten about dear old Jakey? Do you think I'm blind? I saw you two snuggle up on the couch, his arm around your shoulders, what would he say if he found out his girlfriend fucked another guy twice behind his back, and she liked it."

Blinding rage hit me, and there was nothing I could do to stop it, I slapped him. Hard. The tears were starting to well up, almost threatening to spill over.

"Who the fuck do you think you are talking to me like that? How dare you? Jake is nothing but loving and kind to me-"

"So you do have a fucking boyfriend, well that's just peachy Bella, just fucking peachy, I never took you for the cheating type, but now I guess I've seen everything" he said to me bitterly.

I yanked his face down, toward mine, so that our eyes were level.

"And he is nothing more than a friend, who I haven't seen for six fucking months," I replied quietly, never letting my disappointment in my eyes leave his.

His eyes lowered, and he shamefully hung his head,

"I never been more insulted in my life, especially when a teacher that barely knows me, feels that it his place not only to fuck me, but then proceed to tell her that she is two timing slut, when he knows nothing!" I spat back at him. I blinked back the tears refusing to cry in front of him, but somehow one lone tear managed to escape.

His eyes softened, and he put a hand on my shoulder, and whispered an apology

"I'm sorry Bella, I overreacted, I considered us friends, and I was hurt that you didn't tell me that you had a boyfriend,"

There was no need for me to hold a grudge, I mean yes I was angry, but I got what I wanted, an apology.

"Apology accepted," I responded quietly. He ran his hand through his hair contemplating whether to continue, I looked at him expectantly,

"I realise now that you don't and I guess I was just a little jealous, after everything that happened today, considering that you did like it" he grinned half-heartedly at me. I appeared to be affronted, but inside I was smiling the cocky bastard.

"And how do you know I liked it, and rather just making sure that you didn't dock my grades?" I shot down his cocky ass.

"for two reasons," he paused for dramatic effect, and I snorted at him,

"One you came back for more, and two you kissed me first" he smirked at me, well fuck me. God the smirk was back, did he not know what that smirk did to me?

"Don't worry I won't be making that mistake again" I answered back shakily

He looked at me cautiously, seemingly battling with something in his mind, but then his crooked smile returned.

"You know I never heard you complaining about it" he replied huskily. Fuck.

"In fact," he mused tracing his fingers against my lips, "you seemed to be quite vocal in how much you enjoyed it" Fuck Shit, was he trying to make me combust spontaneously. Oh fuck I've fallen off the wagon. Again. I know I'm going to hell, I just know it.

"Well I can't deny I didn't like having your hard cock inside of me" I whispered into his ear, licking his earlobe.

"Fuck" was all he said before his mouth crashed down on mine, wrapping one hand tightly around my waist, and the other tangling in my hair, our tongues fighting for dominance, and his hard cock pressed into my stomach.

This is wrong Bella, you'll only get in a more Fucked up situation if you continue this, stop before someone comes in again. That made my brain think, and I remembered Mr. Emmett McCarty had walked in on us, Fuck, I needed to know what happened.

I pulled away, but he continued, placing sloppy kisses all down my neck, rubbing his nose gently across my collarbone, my mind was trying to grasp, what I was trying to achieve, but slowly drowning in the lust, and sensation of Edward.

"Edward," I didn't mean to moan his name but I did. But he must have groaned too, because I felt the vibrations along my neck, and I almost lost control. I knew I needed to stop this while I still had some inkling of a coherent voice.

"Edward, stop." I said pushing him off me slightly. He froze, and immediately jumped off me, spluttering apologies. I thought it would be better if I could just shut him up for two seconds, so I forced my mouth back to his hard, and well his shock gave me the two seconds I needed. I pulled away and before he could apologize again I spoke

"Emmett," well that stopped him, his mouth was halfway open in the shape of an o, and I almost laughed, almost.

"Well, Mr. McCarty to me, what happened Edward, I need to know." I knew the fear was present on my face, as I watched as his eyes turned cold and his jaw clenched.

"I believe it is Mr. Cullen, Ms. Swan, and Mr. McCarty is perfectly fine, I will see you in class tomorrow Ms. Swan, goodnight." And with that he strolled away to his car, the son of a bitch. Good one Bella Good one, apparently asshole Edward is back. I sighed, at least it is the end of the day, because honestly, could my day get any worse?

So if you liked, you press the green button, and just let me know that you liked, and i will try and reply, i only just recently discovered the reply to reviews button. yes you can laugh at me now, i do.

and i hope you understand, that although a lemon would have been nice, Bella is not an exhibitionist, especially in front of her father and her best-friend, and well the entire neighbourhood.

also to anyone that has any music suggestions, currently compiling playlist, but some song choices from you guys would be awesome as well.

and for those of you that don't Understand the whole Emmett thing, wait for it, i have plans.

J