Naruto was getting severely annoyed. To start with someone had broken into his home when he had been out with Ten-chan, somehow bypassing his fence, the dozen statue guards and the hundreds of Ari clones he'd left behind. He couldn't do anything about it however, as none of the statue guards had gotten a good look at whoever it was, the Ari, it turned out, weren't intelligent enough to remember a description of the guy and to top it all off he couldn't do any major upgrades or changes to his defences because he had to pass his stupid jounin's test! Said stupid jounin hadn't even turned up yet and he was already two and a half hours late! He wondered if it was illegal to drive a metal spike through a superior's chest cavity. Naruto was sitting with his back to one of the three training posts in training ground seven. Oddly enough his pose and general thought patterns were being mimicked by the other members of his team, leaning up against the other training posts.

*POOF* "Ohayo, mina-san." Whirling around, Naruto saw the object of his team's frustration. Kakashi Hatake, his Konoha forehead protector pulled low over his left eye, silver hair standing up in a giant spike and wearing standard jounin attire was crouched on top of the training post they had all been leaning on. Jumping to their feet, Naruto and Sakura both levelled pointed fingers at the man and declared "YOU'RE LATE!" unfortunately Naruto had, in his frustration, been subconsciously releasing small (for him) portions of chakra and this, coupled with his desire to be as loud as he could, led him to inadvertently creating yet another unique jutsu.

Literally blown away and with his ears ringing from the noise, Kakashi poked his head around the side of the training posts to confirm that, yes Nauto had a large conical shape protruding from where his mouth used to be.

"Naruto! What the hell did you do?"

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT SAKURA-CHAN? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING."

"Baka! Turn off that jutsu before you deafen me or Sasuke-kun!"

"WHAT JUTSU? I'M NOT USING A JUTSU SAKURA-CHAN."

Resisting the urge to face-palm, Kakashi went about breaking up what he somehow knew was going to be the first of many arguments to come. After a quick explanation of the rules of his little test and getting Naruto to finally disable his 'Loudspeaker no Jutsu", he set his pre-prepared egg-timer for an hour and told them to begin. Immediately Sasuke and Sakura disappeared into the bushes, Naruto however, decided to stay out and take him on one-on-one… Exactly as Kakashi planned. Immediately Kakashi placed a genjutsu over the area they stood in before confronting the grinning blonde.

"Right, gaki, I just placed a genjutsu over this area, your two 'teammates' are currently watching a rather one-sided match of jounin vs. genin. You and I, on the other hand are going to have a little discussion."

"Ne, Kakashi-sensei, what about the test?" Naruto asked, a confused look spreading across his face.

"Oh, I'm sure you know all about the true purpose of the test. Drop the act, brat! I've figured it out, so tell me, why are you hiding your skills? Or do I need to drag your ass to Ibiki and let the torture and investigation department have it's fun little way with you? I hear the enemas are to die for." Kakashi continued to maintain his distance from the boy, hackles raised and caution dictating his every move. An unknown enemy is a dangerous enemy and rich now he was taking nothing about his supposed genin for granted.

"Kakashi-sensei what are you talking about? Is this part of the test too?" Naruto's face betrayed no emotion other than that of confusion, before determination once more took over. "You'll not fool me sensei, I'm getting one of those bells dattebayo!"

So saying, Naruto leapt back, clones already forming from out of his back and his Musasabi flowing into life beneath his feet. He was not prepared for the sudden rush of air and the impact from behind that sent him sprawling to the ground. Quicker than he could think, Naruto's arms and legs had been encased in earthen binds against which he struggled uselessly. Kakashi, stood over him, muttered "Doton: Nentsuchiro no Jutsu, success." (Earth Release: Sticky Earth Prison) Bending down, Kakashi looked Naruto directly in the eye as he spoke; "I know what you have been working on. The Hokage knows all about your little projects. You have been hiding your intelligence and decieving your classmates and tutors alike. Now you will answer my questions and you will do so quickly, or we will be finding out just how much of the ANBU field interrogation procedure manual works on someone with metal skin. First off; Why are you hiding your intelligence?"

"Damn it Kakashi-sensei, let me up! I'm not hiding anything!" Naruto yelled, trying to wiggle free from his face-down spread-eagled position in the dirt.

"Don't fuck with me, gaki! I paid a trip to your little fortress and looked through your notes! No way could someone with the power and knowledge to do what you've done be the dead last at the academy! Now, what are you hiding? Why are you hiding it?"

"You! You're the one who beat my security! Damn it, how the hell am I supposed to keep jounin out? How the hell did you even get in? What are you doing looking through my stuff anyway? I'm gonna kick your ass when I get out of this, teme-sensei!"

Kakashi activated a minor lightning jutsu in his palm and slammed it into the back of Naruto's head. Said blonde lit up like a christmas tree, his metal skin glowing and rapidly heating up the longer Kakashi kept up the technique. Halting the chakra flow, Kakashi glared into the eyes of his, now lightly smoking, student and spoke softly. "Tell me what I want to know. Now."

Naruto glared at the man's single visible eye for a minute before huffing and muttering, "Fine." He then proceeded to tell the man everything. Kakashi was not amused. "You expect me to believe that?"

"It's the truth! Now let me up!"

"So, you're not a vengeful angst-ridden little dick with some brains and a superiority complex hiding behind a mask of stupidity? You haven't got any plans for a hostile takeover or the complete destruction of Konoha and it's inhabitants? You genuinely are just a loudmouthed, orange-wearing, fanatically loyal ninja of the leaf with a metal manipulating bloodline, a desire to be Hokage to gain peoples' respect and a fascination with electronics and sealing?"

"Yeah, what of it?"

"Bullshit, I'm taking you to a Yamanaka." Kakashi announced. He dropped the genjutsu and informed Sasuke and Sakura that the test was to be put off until the next day. He then formed more hand seals and Naruto was encased up to his neck in a solid ball of rock. "Doton: Doro no jutsu" (Earth Style: Earth Prison) Kakashi announced before rolling the screaming blonde out of the training field and into Konoha proper. Sasuke and Sakura merely looked on in confusion.

That evening

It had taken the combined confirmation of three separate mind dives to confirm that Naruto was telling the truth before Kakashi was willing to believe it. Naruto really was just a happy-go-lucky idiot with an inferiority complex due to his treatment by the villagers of Konoha. Kakashi had, rather sheepishly, bought the boy some ramen as an apology. Naruto had quickly forgiven him after that, expressing the belief that anyone who bought him ramen had to be a good guy. Kakashi sighed at that, wondering just how naive the boy could be and how someone so idiotic could be so accomplished.

"So, sensei, what made you think I was really a secret genius or whatever?" Naruto asked around a mouthful of noodles.

Once more fighting an embarrassed look, Kakashi replied, "Mah, mah, Naruto sorry again, but it was your seals on that flying ironing board that made me suspect you."

Frowning, Naruto yelled; "It's a Musasabi, not an ironing board! Baka-sensei, mocking my inventions…" Naruto continued muttering, before once more making one of his infamous mental turnarounds. "Ne, Kakashi-sensei, what's wrong with my seals that made you think I was a traitor?"

Turning serious, Kakashi leaned in closer to Naruto; "I'm not going to lie to you, brat. Those are some of the most refined and intricately manipulated seals I have ever seen. That is seal-master grade work. How'd you get so good at fuuinjutsu?"

"Good? Kakashi-sensei, maybe you need your head looked at, I'm terrible at sealing, it took me six months to figure out how each of those seals worked! It took even longer to find out how to manipulate them all! Remember the mini-hurricanes in the market district last year? Wind seals gone wrong!"

"Naruto, most people either just copy the design or buy their seals from people who have when they want a seal tag. I think the amount of people who actually go out of their way to figure out the workings of a seal don't even make up a hundredth of a percent of the world's ninja." Kakashi laughed, "You've been setting your minimum standard at master-level!"

Now it was Naruto's turn to feel sheepish. He didn't know his standards had been so high. He hastily finished off his bowl of noodles to hide his embarrassment. "So, what was it you were saying about the real purpose behind that test you were giving us?" Naruto asked, his mind suddenly drawn back to the interrogation on the training ground as Kakashi paid their bill, anime tears in the man's eyes when he found out the price.

Kakashi feigned ignorance as they were leaving the ramen stand; "I have no idea what you're talking about, obviously you must be confused from the mental stress of the day. Now, go back to your apartment and get some rest. You'll need to be on top form tomorrow if you want to get a bell."

Naruto had a feeling something wasn't right, but dismissed it in favour of taking his sensei's advice, he was full of ramen and a good night's sleep was exactly what the doctor ordered.

The next day

Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura were once more waiting at training ground seven, waiting for their sensei almost three hours after he had told them to meet him.

"I can't help but feel like we should have expected this." Naruto commented. Sasuke gave a grunting acknowledgement and Sakura couldn't really find anything to say.

Eventually Kakashi did show up, and once once again knocked flat by the powerful combination jutsu of the Uzumaki and the Haruno clans; 'Scream of the Banshee's Protest'. "YOU'RE LATE!" Rang across the training ground, Kakashi recovered quickly and explained; "Mah, mah, I was on my way here when a black cat crossed my path and so I had to go the long way around so as not to get bad luck!"

"LIAR"

"Anyway," Kakashi announced, "the same rules apply as yesterday. Two bells, two lunches, three genin. Whoever winds up without a bell when the timer goes off ends up back in the Academy and goes hungry watching the others eat."

Before he could start, Sakura spoke up and asked; "Ne, sensei, what happened yesterday? Why did you cancel the test and cart Naruto off?"

"Oh, that," Kakashi said waving a hand dismissively, "I thought Naruto was secretly a genius hiding behind a mask of naivety and ignorance, pretending to hide behind a mask of indifference and was planning to betray and/or get revenge on the village for how they've treated him over the years, so I cancelled the test and took him to have his mind examined by three separate people. Turns out he's actually just a lonely, determined child hiding behind a mask of indifference."

Sasuke turned to stare incredulously at the blonde in question who just grinned and scratched the back of his head. "You had three people poking around your mind yesterday?" he asked Naruto.

"Yeah, it felt a little weird and one of them came out traumatised screaming about giant foxes for some reason. Dunno why, it's not like I think about giant foxes much…" Naruto responded.

"Anyway! Back to the test," Kakashi yelled, he definitely did not want to be the reason behind the leak of that particular village secret, "you have an hour. GO!"

Strangely enough things played out exactly as the genjutsu he'd set up the day before had. Sasuke and Sakura vanished into the bushes, whilst Naruto charged forward to engage in taijutsu. Kakashi, now at more of an ease around the blonde, merely reached into his back pocket, causing Naruto to slow to a cautious halt. Suddenly, and with a sense of drama so refined it was almost possible to hear the epic battle music begin playing in the background, Kakashi withdrew his hand holding… a book?

Naruto stared at the man incredulously as he began reading to himself in the middle of their supposed fight. Kakashi turned a page. "Sensei, what the hell are you doing are we gonna fight or not?" Naruto yelled.

"Hmm?" Kakashi barely even glanced up from the orange covered book in his hand. "Oh this, don't worry. As a genin you won't put up enough of a fight that you'll require my full attention."

Nearly shaking in rage, Naruto abandoned his plans for a frontal assault and instead began forming hand-seals. "Metaru Bushin!" With greater speed than the last time Kakashi had seen the technique, Naruto began spewing forth metallic clones. "Metaru Sozo: Musasabi!" All of the metal clones, about three dozen if Kakashi was any guess, suddenly became flying metal clones. "Metaru Sozo: Yumi!" That had Kakashi widen his eye and take note. All around him was a swarm of metal orange statues wielding the strange bows Kakashi had seen in Naruto's notes and sketchbooks. Those arrows did not look friendly. 'Kyujutsu?' Kakashi thought, 'Who the flying fuck still practices archery? And why the hell are they teaching Naruto?'

On the other side of Konoha, a rather large man had to quickly intervene before his daughter's sneeze ruined the tempering of the sword he had allowed her to work on. Quickly taking over, he sent his princess off to bed, worried she might have caught a cold from her recent mission. She reluctantly moved away from the forges and the man gave strict instructions to the small metal constructs beside him to make sure she did as she was told.

Back with Kakashi, he had been dodging quite frantically for the first time in a while as his body bent to some rather interesting contortions to avoid the volleys of arrows sent his way. 'Doesn't this kid ever run out of arrows?' he thought, looking at one in particular that nearly gave him a third nostril, it was shiny and appeared to be fletched with foil. 'Of course not, he makes them as well. Right, long range doesn't seem to work, my kunai are just bouncing off of him. Time to get up close and personal.'

Naruto's target practice session was cut short when his sensei abruptly shifted and charged at the nearest metal form. "Ninja lesson one!" The silver-haired man announced "Taijutsu!" He then cut a swathe through the clones, before utterly humiliating the blonde in front of his two team-mates watching from the foliage. At least, that was the plan. His fist exploded in pain, even after he'd coated it in chakra to harden the bones and he jumped back to see that it was bleeding heavily. Naruto then gave the man a piece of his own medicine by shouting; "Naruto lesson one! Don't punch anything sharper or pointier than you!" Kakashi looked back at the clone he'd attacked and noted that the side of its face had grown sharp metal spikes, several of which were covered in his blood.

"Okay, maybe I underestimated you." The man replied, forming hand seals faster than Naruto could track, "No longer. Katon: Housenka no Jutsu!" The training field was quickly awash with small metal fireballs, each targeting their own flying statue. "Ninja lesson two! Ninjutsu!" he declared just as the fireballs struck their marks.

"AAARRRGGHHH!" What turned out to be the real Naruto screamed as he was engulfed in fire. "I'M !" Sure enough, in front of a horrified Kakashi, the blonde was slowly liquifying into a hot silvery mess that burned the grass as it touched ground. Morbidly fascinated and almost quaking in fear at what the Hokage was going to do to him for melting his favourite brat, with such a low-powered fire jutsu of all things,, Kakashi watched as Naruto completely vanished into a puddle of molten metal.

Kakashi approached solemnly, all the while thinking, 'I've done it again! I'm not even their sensei yet and I've already gotten one of them killed! Why? WHY?' he knelt down next to the rapidly cooling puddle that was once Naruto Uzumaki. Some distant part of his mind dimly registered the sounds of retching from the bushes near their position but he paid it no mind. All his thoughts were on the remains of the boy in front of him. "Naruto," he choked softly, "Naruto, I'm so sorry." He closed his eyes and bent forward in silent prayer and grief. That was when the puddle attacked.

Surging up from the ground, the liquid metal enveloped most of Kakashi's body, immobilising him and solidifying quickly. A blonde head formed out of one side that yelled into the bushes. "Sasuke! Sakura! Get out here and grab a bell off of him before he breaks free!" Wide eyed silence greeted him for half a second before the world once again exploded into motion. Kakashi valiantly struggled against his bonds as Sasuke dived out of the bushes and leapt for the bells at Kakashi's waist.

Once Sasuke had the bells secure he nodded to Naruto who let the man out of his amorphous embrace. Naruto grinned as he reformed, clothes flowing out of where he'd stored them beneath his skin as he did so; "Heh, did not know I could do that. Thanks Kakashi-sensei, you just helped me create a new jutsu."

Kakashi congratulated the two on gaining a bell before informing Naruto; "You are one cruel, heartless, sadistic little bastard when you want to be aren't you? I'm torn between shock, pride and amusement. However you still haven't passed. Only those with a bell when the timer goes off get to eat lunch." The man disappeared in a burst of speed and reappeared holding the bells once more, "And you were so close to passing the test as well, two thirds of the way there… it'll be such a shame to send you all back to the academy. Bye bye." With that he disappeared in a swirl of leaves, two shocked and outraged genin left staring at the spot he'd once occupied.

"Well fuck." Naruto stated. "What the hell are we supposed to do now? And where's Sakura-chan?"

Sasuke turned his head to indicate the bushes where he had been observing Naruto's battle. "She threw up and fainted when she thought Kakashi killed you."

"Oh. Well, I think we should go wake her up." Naruto stated, walking in the direction Sasuke had indicated.

"Why?" The raven-haired boy asked. "All she's done so far is hide, throw up and faint. She's just dead weight that'll hinder us passing the test. Plus, what if she gets lucky and gets a bell in place of one of us?"

"Well, I've used up a good chunk of my chakra already, that melting thing really took a lot out of me. Though, I suppose it could have just been trying to counter the heat of sensei's jutsu, but either way, she at least deserves a chance to prove herself doesn't she? I mean she was top kunoichi of the class, right? I'm sure she'll be awesome!" Naruto could tell that his well-reasoned and logically sound arguments were not making any impression on the other boy. "She could make a decent distraction while you get the bells yourself?" That seemed to work. "Plus think how she'll react when she finds out I'm not dead. She'll be so relieved I'm sure she'd go on a date with me!" Naruto finished as he marched off to find the stricken love of his life.

Sasuke thought about what Naruto had said. Yes Sakura could be annoying, but she was smart in one form or another and she was always distracting him, so it'd be nice to see someone else bear the brunt of that, for a while at least. Then he thought about Sakura's probable reaction to Naruto's unharmed state. A knowing grin threatened to spread across his face, but well honed muscle control prevented it. "Hey, dobe! Wait up!"

"BAKA! YOU MADE ME THINK YOU HAD DIED! I'LL KILL YOU NARUTO! YOU COULD HAVE MENTALLY SCARRED SASUKE-KUN AND ME FOR LIFE!"

Naruto was being strangled by a very irate and awake Sakura, occasionally he'd find his skull would become buried in a tree or the ground, whichever was more convenient at the time, and couldn't help wonder where and why reality had deviated from the obvious path it should have taken. Wake up Sakura, Reveal continued ability to breathe, Comfort worried Sakura, Ask Sakura out on date, Have her accept, Pass genin test without Sasuke-teme, Take Sakura on date, Become awesome ninja, Become Hokage, Marry Sakura, Live forever as world's most awesome ninja. Sasuke-teme laughing in the background did not help.

"It worked didn't it? We got the bells!" Naruto yelled when her grip began to slacken. Sakura then looked in horror from him to Sasuke and back again.

"You mean… I have to go back to the Academy?" She asked in such a quiet voice it was hard for them to hear her at all.

"No, teme-sensei said the rules were we had to have a bell when the timer went off, so he took them off of Sasuke-teme when we were distracted and disappeared after telling us we'd only gotten two thirds of the way through the test." Naruto responded.

Sakura sighed in relief before staring at her crush. "What did he mean by two thirds of the way through?"

The bishounen boy shrugged and Naruto said; "I think it means we'd used up two thirds of the time limit, how long did we have anyway?"

"About an hour." Sasuke responded.

"So we have less than twenty minutes left?" Sakura stated. "That can't be right, how long after I fainted did you get the bells?"

"Dunno, about a minute." Naruto was confused, why were they wasting time talking with so little time left?

"Naruto's fight didn't last more than quarter of an hour and that started right away, so how could we only have a third of the time left?" Sakura asked. "Unless he meant something else, like a clue to passing the tests?"

Sasuke immediately perked up at the idea. "So what did we only have two thirds of when Naruto and I got the bells?"

The bell was almost about to ring when Kakashi saw all three of his genin-hopefuls walk into the clearing around the training posts. His interest was piqued, had they managed to figure out the clue he'd left them? Would they be the first group to pass his test? Fat chance, but anything was possible, still playing around with the Uzumaki kid was kinda fun, the little brat thought in the weirdest ways Kakashi had ever seen, maybe he'd spar with the boy a few times before he got reassigned to a different jounin. Ah, they'd formed up into a sloppy attack formation, the two boys in front, Sakura hanging back to give support. The two in front looked at each other before charging forward, one to either side of him in a poorly timed pincer movement. Kakashi supposed he had the time to teach them something. "Ninja lesson three! Genjutsu!" he cried as the three charging figures stopped in their tracks. He relaxed, walking over to the three when instinct, born from years of dangerous missions, told him to jump. He leapt high, over the wave of arrows that had threatened to pin his legs to the ground but into the path of an oncoming… none of them should have the training and he'd thought only Naruto had the capacity for a Goukakyu. A quick Kawarimi and it was a log that was incinerated by the Grand Fireball Technique instead of Kakashi. That wasn't the end of the fight, however, as Naruto and Sasuke rushed forward to engage him in close quarters. Dodging Naruto's feeble taijutsu style wasn't hard in itself but combined with dodging and blocking the Uchiha's signature taijutsu style, even the basic forms, made it that much harder. He felt himself being pushed back, but refrained from taking the fight to the next level, that was until he felt something behind him. Whipping around, Kakashi had just enough time to spot the Haruno girl about to snatch the bells, he moved to block her but she just dropped the kunai she was holding before all three of the respective genin took a very large leap back.

Kakashi looked around to see the three surrounding him in ready positions in what was a passable triangle formation. He smiled beneath his mask. "Good job, I think you almost had the bells then." He announced before looking back over to the three frozen figures still trapped in his genjutsu. "Bushin?" He asked Sakura, who nodded before releasing her hold on the technique. Instead of completely disappearing, the three figures lost some of the vividness of their colourings and gained a familiar sheen. "Metaru Bushin under a target Henge? Impressive. Unfortunately not impressive enough to get you a bell. Do you want to try again? The timer is almost up."

"Oh, we haven't finished yet, sensei." Naruto announced, drawing Kakashi's attention to him and the fact that the boy was holding his hands in a ram seal. Confused, Kakashi looked towards the final member of the team. The Uchiha just smirked and pointed down. Kakashi looked down to see the kunai Sakura had dropped when she'd fled. A kunai. A metal kunai. A metal kunai with some very weird markings down one side. Shit. Reacting faster than any of the young shinobi could see, Kakashi had the kunai flung upwards at a speed his eternal rival, Guy Maito, would have been impressed by. Apparently he was just in time as the offending article literally exploded with electrical energy, Lightning chakra shooting out from it to the surrounding treetops and into the clouds above.

The rather dramatic and horrifying moment was cut short by Naruto's "Well, shit! All that planning! Fuck!" and the sound of Kakashi's egg timer finally going off. No-one really noticed for a minute though, as they were still marvelling at the light show Naruto's kunai was still giving off as it travelled higher and higher.

"Well, that's the end of the test," Kakashi announced, finally having taken note of his blaring alarm, "looks like none of you have a bell, so…" He was cut off by a slight tinkling sound and saw that Naruto had just thrown two bells to his companions. Looking down, he confirmed that he still had the originals attached to his belt.

"We make our own bells, Kakashi-sensei." Naruto announced, gaining quiet nods from the others.

"What, you think you're being cool?" Kakashi asked, "The objective was to get these bells. I'm not passing you guys on a technicality just because metal boy over there thought of another thing he can make with his bloodline."

"Well what about passing us for working as a team?" Sakura asked, "That was the whole point of this test wasn't it?"

Slowly Kakashi nodded, "Seems you figured out the clue then, good. Congratulations on passing. However there was one other part to this test." Kakashi withdrew a roll of ninja wire from his jounin vest. "The one who didn't get a bell, the one who never even touched a bell, gets tied to a training post and watches the others eat…" Sakura had the decency to look mildly afraid.

Hours Later

"Kakashi! Turning up an hour late is one thing, but over a day late? What's the excuse?" Hiruzen Sarutobi was torn between incredulity and amusement at watching his jounin squirm.

"Mah, mah. I had to put their test off for a day." Kakashi explained, hoping the Hokage would let it slide. "They passed, by the way."

"I'm glad you finally get to lead a team, I think the experience will be good for you. Now, what happened that you had to postpone a genin test by a full day?"

Outside the Hokage Tower

Naruto decided that he'd go tell his oji-san about his latest accomplishment. Creating a new jutsu, passing a jounin's test and getting Sasuke-teme to agree to do something that benefitted others all in one day! Well, Sasuke's helping others had the bonus of helping himself so Naruto wasn't too sure that that could be completely classed as an entirely selfless and out-of-character act, but he was positive it wouldn't take long to get the broody emo out of the boy's system. What would be left when he did was anybody's guess, but still…

"YOU DID WHAT TO NARUTO?"

On the other hand, his oji-san sounded busy, maybe he'd tell Ayame-nee-chan about it first over a bowl of ramen. Yeah, that sounded a lot safer