17

Tara's

Still Perfectly Imperfect

Christmas

Chapter 3 Recap

Tara and Gemma come up with a plan, Tara lures Ima into a storage room and Gemma locks Ima in. Jax and Opie get back from the errands Clay sent them on. Gemma takes Opie outside for a scolding. Opie goes to the storeroom for Ima and discovers she's gone. Someone let her out. Opie, Jax and Tara look for her, but fail to find her in time to prevent her from performing a portion of her offensive play. Tara whispers a new plan to Gemma and to Jax and Opie. Gemma and the Crow-eaters stand in front of Ima and sing "The Twelve Days of Christmas". Ima speaks loudly into the mic until Jax and Opie hustle her outside.

Gemma compliments Tara on her cooking efforts and asks her to help her in the kitchen. Gemma tells Tara that Jax and Ima had sex. Jax and Opie return from bringing Ima home looking the worse for wear.

Chapter 4 Falling For You

Jax's jaw tightened and he shook his head.

"Tara knows about all the girls. Ima's not one of them."

Gemma smiled.

"There are just so many, I must have gotten her mixed up with some other girl," Gemma said with a dismissive shrug.

Jax's eyes practically shot out sparks, he was so angry with Gemma. He took her by the arm and they left the clubhouse. I've seen parents take kids by the arm, but I've never see it the other way around. So far, Opie had been taken out and talked to by Gemma twice and Gemma had been taken out and talked to once by Jax, but who's counting?

"Gemma chewed me out for Ima, but I think Jax's going to say worse to Gemma," Opie said.

"I was actually on Gemma's good side for a few minutes."

My goal had been to get on Gemma's good side. There wasn't any time specified for how long I had to stay there. I was giving myself credit for fulfilling that Christmas goal. One down, one to go.

"That may be as good as it's ever going to get for you two. I know I told you to embarrass yourself so Gemma would like you, but I think you got something better tonight. You stood up to her over Ima. She won't admit it, but you earned a little respect from her. Instead of letting her walk all over you, you took the fight to her. She'll think twice before she lies to you again."

"Now she's going to hate me more," I said.

"I don't think so. I think she'll be more careful especially since Jax is on your side. I deserved getting chewed out for Ima. I should have known by the way she was dressed, there was going to be trouble. I should have taken her home after she did that twirl, showing everyone her thong. You didn't deserve what Gemma said to you. And thanks for helping me with Ima."

"You're welcome Opie. I told Gemma Ima's behavior wasn't your fault. What happened when you got her out of the clubhouse?"

"She just went crazy. I don't know if it was all from the drugs or from the four beers she drank."

"She couldn't have been in the storage room for more than five minutes," I interrupted.

Opie shook his head, laughing.

"She's a power drinker. Once Jax and I hustled her out of the clubhouse, she wouldn't get into the car so we could take her home. She started fighting us trying to get back into the clubhouse so she could finish her play. Tig came over to help and she starts flirting with him. She tells him she'll get into the car if she can tell him a secret first. She moves close to Tig and then bites him vampire style in the neck. She actually drew blood."

Opie and I both laughed.

From that night on, biting became Tig's signature fight move. The guys who fought Tig always remembered him from the chunk of skin he tore out of them leaving them a scar as a permanent reminder.

Jax walked in alone and came over to us, sliding his arm around me.

"What did I miss?"

"I was just up to Ima biting Tig in the neck," Opie said. "Jax grabbed her legs, I grabbed her arms and Tig opened the trunk and we dumped her in."

"Lucky no one was around," Jax added.

"The whole time we're driving, Ima is screaming that she's being kidnapped. From now on, we're keeping a roll of duct tape in the trunk."

"For future girlfriend problems?" I asked.

"Or in case Opie decides to risk another date with Ima," Jax said.

"You would go out with her again?"

"I don't know. Maybe. Despite her being crazy and Gemma chewing my ass, there may still be a future."

It sounded to me like Opie still wanted to have sex with Ima and tonight was only a bump in the road as he pursued this goal.

"What happens when you get to her house?"

"It was easier getting her out of the trunk than it was putting her in because she wanted out," Jax said.

"Once we help her out of the trunk, she starts kicking and screaming all over again," Opie said. "I don't know if she's normally that crazy or if the drugs she took did something to her."

"The porch light goes on and her father comes out of the house with a shotgun," Jax said.

"I decided not to walk her to her door. We got in the car and took off," Opie said.

"We drove three blocks before we stopped long enough to close the trunk," Jax added chuckling.

With the name "Ima Tite", she was destined to end up working in the sex industry. Her mother knew what she was doing when she named her. Her mother had been a stripper at the Jelly Bean Lounge, so Ima's porn stardom was a step up from her mother's profession. Of course back in high school, she wasn't in the porn industry, she just slept around, getting plenty of practice for when she turned eighteen and could begin her real life.

Clay and Gemma gave their speeches welcoming the town's citizens to SAMCRO's annual holiday party.

Jax and I went through the dessert line and found an empty table. Opie was still in line.

"What happened with Gemma?" I asked.

"I told her to quit trying to start trouble with you. I am proud of the way you handled her. You stayed calm. She wasn't expecting that. She thought you would get jealous and it would lead to an argument. The best way to deal with her is to stay united and never let her cause trouble between us, or, at least, never let her see what she's doing is causing trouble."

"Thanks for talking to her."

Opie came over and sat down. His small plate was heaped high with cookies and candy.

"I'm going to eat my troubles away," Opie said before biting into a pecan tartlet I'd made.

The rest of the party passed uneventfully. Gemma kept her distance from me and Ima didn't return to the clubhouse.

I didn't see much of Jax over the next couple of days. He was doing a lot of work at TM for Clay. We were lucky if we managed to spend an hour or two together every day.

As a child, I could hardly wait for Christmas and Santa Claus. As I grew older, it became more about giving gifts to the people I love. I was excited to see Jax's reaction when I gave him the poster I'd made with my friend Lisa's help.

On Christmas Day, my mother and my aunt always insisted that I couldn't get up until they got up because they wanted to see my face when I saw what Santa had delivered overnight.

Once I'd learned there was no Santa Claus, I didn't have to wait any longer. I liked to get up in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve, turn on only the Christmas tree lights, curl up on the sofa and look at the tree and the presents. That moment was so full of hope and promise.

I've admired the perfectly decorated trees in stores and in magazines. Those perfect white trees with all red ornaments or maybe even blue ornaments so neat and disciplined, but there was no heart in them.

Our tree was always a chaotic mix of colored lights and ornaments some beautiful ones purchased during after Christmas sales and others made by me in school. I guess I loved the imperfections because they came from love.

As I got older, I wanted to get rid of some of the ornaments I'd made in elementary school, but my aunt insisted we keep them because they were a part of our family history.

I should have gone through the storage unit and at least taken our Christmas ornaments. Next year, I promised myself, I would put up a tree in my bedroom with the ornaments from storage.

My father and I could have a tree, but I didn't want to mix the ornaments. Keeping them separate represented the two halves of my life, before and after I came to live my father.

I turned on the CD player to listen to Christmas music as I looked at the tree. I loved the way the colored lights reflected off the ornaments and the foil wrapping paper that I'd splurged on. I didn't know the history of any ornaments and despite the fact that Jax and I had put up the tree and decorated it together, it just didn't feel right. Maybe next year the tree wouldn't feel so alien to me.

I didn't have to worry that the Christmas music would wake my father. He had taken a last minute gig in Santa Barbara. A guy was having a big party and the band he'd booked had cancelled. He was desperate and he offered to double their pay. The band refused and kept refusing until he offered them five times their rate plus expenses.

The gig would end at midnight and the guys would take turns driving, so they could return by morning. Some of the guys had young children and they wanted to see their kids' faces on Christmas morning.

The decision was a band decision and I wasn't mad at my father. He would come back and grab a few more hours of sleep and we would open our presents a little later in the day. My aunt frequently worked either Christmas Eve or Christmas and sometimes both so this was normal for me anyway.

Last Christmas, as I was looking at the tree's lights, I wondered where I'd be next Christmas. Despite moving around so much, I never got used to it. I liked that I knew where I was going to be next Christmas. I'd be here looking at this Christmas tree and thinking of all my past Christmases.

I was just about to turn out the lights and go back to bed when I heard a faint tapping at my door. I looked out the peephole and saw Jax.

"What are doing here?" I asked.

"I couldn't sleep and I know you stay up late, so I thought I'd drop by and if you were awake, I thought we could open presents. It's after midnight, so it's Christmas."

I let him into the house.

"You don't have to worry about waking my father up. He took a last minute gig in Santa Barbara. He won't be back for a couple of hours."

"He left you alone on Christmas Eve?" Jax's eyes flashed with anger. "Why didn't you call me? You could have stayed with us."

Overnight at Gemma's house was not my idea of a merry Christmas. I'd spent the night once (described in a future chapter of Tara's Story) and it hadn't gone well. I didn't want a repeat of the experience.

"It's not a big deal. He'll be back in a few hours and we'll open presents a few hours later."

Jax took off his blue hoodie and draped it over a kitchen chair.

I was excited that Jax and I could open our presents to each other alone. It felt more romantic. We sat on the floor next to each other.

"You first," Jax said, handing me a silver wrapped present from underneath the tree.

I opened the package and found a bottle of cologne or perfume. I'm not even sure what the difference was between them. It was the first time I received fancy perfume.

I sprayed my wrist and then smelled it. It was heavenly, sort of warm, exotic and spicy.

I put my hand on Jax's thigh, leaned over and kissed him on the mouth.

"It's perfect. I love it."

"Let me see how it smells on you."

I held up my wrist for him to sniff.

"It smells even better on you than it did on Opie."

I laughed.

"Opie really put this on?"

"Yeah. I ran out of places to put the samples on me. I didn't want to sniff the counter girls' wrists so Opie had to step up. It took me over an hour to find the right one. I wanted something that reminds me of you. Something warm and sexy. I knew as soon as I smelled it on Opie that it was the right one."

Even after all this time, it brings a smile to my face when I think of Jax going perfume shopping and using Opie as a tester. It was just so sweet it made my heart hurt. Part of the gift was the time and effort he spent on picking it out. He had made a really big effort to get just the right perfume.

After that, one of his Christmas gifts to me was always that perfume. I only wore it when Jax and I were together. I used to spray it in my hair because it made the scent last the longest.

When I left Charming, I had some of the perfume left. I put it on for a date with a guy who was attractive and smart. The perfume was a big mistake because I couldn't get Jax out of my head. I felt like I was going through the heartbreak of leaving Charming and losing him all over again. I never saw the guy after that or wore the perfume with another guy.

Sometimes, I would put the perfume on when I was feeling especially heartbroken and, when I wanted to top off the heartbreak with even more heartbreak, I would play the CD Jax put together and gave me for my sixteenth birthday (from Tara's Story).

I used the perfume to my advantage after I returned to Charming to get Jax back. I would wear the perfume when I knew I'd see him. I knew the power of that fragrance and all the memories we made together when I wore it. I'm not saying, it brought us back together, but it helped.

I handed Jax one of his presents from me. It was a DVD set of Blackadder, the Blackadder Goes Forth series set in WW1. Jax loved the Blackadder series from my father's impressive collection of DVDs. When I was looking on the internet, I discover there was this additional series that my father didn't have and Jax hadn't seen. He seemed happy with the gift.

Next he picked up another box about the same size as the first and shook it.

"I wonder what this could be?" Jax asked.

"You know. You got that for me," I reminded him.

"Oh, yeah," he said with a grin. "That's right. What do you think it is?"

He handed me the gift box also wrapped in silver. I shook it and frowned. It didn't rattle and it was really light.

"I'll open it and then I'll know," I said.

I carefully unwrapped the package. There was nothing inside the box. I wasn't sure what to do. Maybe he had forgotten to put the present inside the box. He was still grinning at me.

"Um . . . " I said. I couldn't figure out what to do. "It's still a mystery to me."

"It isn't the kind of gift I could really wrap. I am taking you somewhere on a trip for two days and nights. The destination is a secret and I'll give you your present there."

"Are you . . . did you . . ."

"Yes, I cleared it with your father and Gemma. Clay helped me convince her."

I threw my arms around Jax with so much enthusiasm that I knocked him over. He pulled me down on top of him.

"I've missed spending time with you. Just imagine two whole days just us," Jax said.

He kissed me then, a warm, passionate kiss that would have definitely made me dizzy if I had been standing up.

"When are we going?"

"The day after Christmas."

I know I had a big, silly smile on my face.

"I can hardly wait. Thank you."

He took my face in his hands.

"Tara, there's no pressure," he said, looking into my eyes.

"No pressure," I said.

I slipped out of his arms.

"Time for you to open your last present from me," I said.

I handed him the big framed poster I'd made of his father. I'd carefully wrapped it in green foil with a gold bow. I was suddenly overcome with insecurity. Maybe he wouldn't like it. Maybe he would think it was a terrible gift. I was sick with worry.

"Hmmm. I wonder what this could be."

"You'll never guess," I said.

"I think it's a poster."

"That's obvious. What's it of is the secret."

He tore into the wrapping paper, eager to see what kind of poster. He looked at it. There was a long agonizing silence.

"It's my father. How did you . . ."

"I made it. Opie helped me by getting me the boxes of pictures. You have to tell Gemma that you gave me the pictures. I told him you would cover for him."

He sat there looking at the poster.

"I picked out the four major times in your father's life, high school, Vietnam, SAMCRO and your birth," I said. I knew I was rambling out of nervousness. I thought it was the perfect gift, but it wasn't going over like that.

Jax continued to study the poster.

"It's like a real art picture. It's the best gift I've ever gotten in my whole life," he said. His voice was choked with emotion and his eyes were filled with unshed tears.

He carefully put the framed poster down and wrapped me in his arms.

"You are the world to me, Tara." He moved his lips close to my ear and whispered "I love you".

"You love me?" I whispered pulling away from him so I could see his face.

"I love you," he repeated a little louder.

For once Jax Teller's supreme self-confidence wavered. He was just another teen boy insecure because he wasn't sure if the girl he had just said I love you to felt the same way.

For me, it was a double revelation. I was seeing a vulnerable side to him. Best of all, he said the words I dreamed he would say.

I felt like I was seeing him for the first time. Beyond his movie star, blonde, blue-eyed, handsome face, he was this complex, smart guy with an incredible heart. And he loved me! I had the best life ever!

"I love you," I said also in a whisper.

It was a magical moment with the Christmas music playing softly and the room only lit from the lights from the tree. It felt like Jax was a present from Santa Claus. The best ever Santa present!

He smiled at me then, a sweet almost shy smile. He gathered me into his arms, but before he could kiss me, we heard the sound of the garage door opening. My father was back.

Jax released me.

"Day after tomorrow, 9 am and you don't need to bring food."

Will Jax and Tara get to have the romantic getaway that he planned for them or will his plans go horribly wrong in an unexpected way?

As always, please review. I think that as a simple courtesy, if you read, you write a review. We're all adults and you can say terrible things if that's the way you feel. Give me one reason why any writer of fan fic should keep on writing when the readers don't seem to really care enough about the story to take two minutes out of their lives to write a note to the writer. I don't just mean me, I mean any fiction you read that you get for free.

NEXT UP I am hoping to post another chapter in a few days. My goal is to have this story complete around New Year's.

NEXT UP FOR ME I hope to post a short chapter of Jax Is Really Alive this week.