Meanwhile, in the outskirts of Dimmsdale, a black van labeled 'UNSUSPECTING VAN' was stopping at a small cottage behind a cave. Denzel Crocker looked out of the car window, and then, as the coast seemed clear, stepped out while carrying alchemic tools and ingredients, while his mother quickly followed with a few fairy-hunting devices.
"Now, Mother", Crocker began, "what you're witnessing here is a little project of mine that I've been working on a little while back. It's never been legally registered anywhere, so it technically shouldn't even exist, making this the perfect hiding place! I never got to use it before, because I built it specifically for situations where I don't need anyone snooping around. Also, because it's too far away and my regular Crocker Cave would've sufficed just fine before."
His mother didn't seem all too impressed. "How long have you been working on this 'project', Denzel?"
"Oh, ever since miss Carmichael moved in," Crocker said. "It's funded on a huge stock tip she gave me!"
"You're saying that we could've been filthy rich, but you spent it all on a crummy old cottage instead", Dolores asked.
"Don't worry, Mother", Crocker continued nonchalantly. "This cottage may not seem much, but it is in fact more than meets the eye!"
"Does it transform into a giant mech robot or something", his mother questioned warily.
"Actually, no", Denzel said. "You'll see."
The two went inside. The cottage seemed to exist of just a single room, which only seemed to include a wardrobe and a rug.
"First, we remove the rug", Crocker said as he moved the rug with his left foot., as his hands were still full. "Then, we press the slightly loose plank", he continued, as he stepped on the plank. The plank was actually a button that seemed to so something with the wardrobe. Crocker shoved the rug back to his place with his foot. "Now, we step into the wardrobe."
Crocker and his mother stepped into the wardrobe, which has turned into an elevator. "Now we press this button, so we will end up below floor level", Crocker continued, as he pressed a button labeled B3F, while struggling holding his tools without dropping. The push on the button causes the elevator to drop down to the desired floor. As the doors opened, the Crockers were met with... an ordinary living room.
"Ooh, cozy", Mrs Crocker complimented.
"That's the intended purpose of our current location: the Crocker Bunker", her son said, as he placed his tools on a safe spot. "Here, we can just relax and watch TV. There's a few more rooms I'd like to show you."
After his mother placed the fairy devices next to the alchemic tools, Denzel led her to one room, which had a dining table, a kitchen stove and a refrigerator. "This, is obviously the dining room", Crocker said. "Nothing special, here we just eat our grub."
Then he led her to a basement. A dimly lit one. "This room, originally designed for meetings, is where we will keep our abductees. Very important!"
Finally, Crocker led her mother to another basement, filled with crates. "And this is the storage room, where we store food in case of an apocalypse", Crocker said. "Our primary source of food is practically here."
"In those crates?" Mrs Crocker asked her son. "What's in it anyway?"
"What do you think, Mother", Denzel responds. "A year's supply of CANNED SHRIMP PUFFS!"
His mother looked awkwardly at Denzel.
Crocker went to a neutral expression and sighed: "...There's ingredients for chicken casserole in the fridge."
"Sweet", his mother exclaimed. "I'll be cooking right away!"
"Not so fast, Mother", Denzel interrupted. "We aren't quite done yet with our little tour."
"But we went through every room of our Crocker Bunker", Mrs Crocker said.
"True", Denzel said, "but the Crocker Bunker has one more secret, and the most important one of all! First, we go back to the living room."
Crocker and his mother returned to the living room. "Okay, so what next", his mother asked.
"We simply move the TV to the right", Crocker said, as he did exactly as he instructed. "And then we push this button hidden on this coffee table." Crocker approached the coffee table and pushed a well-hidden button on the leg. In response, an opening appeared on the location the TV was originally placed in front of.
"Grab those fairy devices, Mother, and those alchemic tools too", Crocker said. "Our next stop is their destination."
Dolores Crocker did what his son asked and both went into the opening. It seemed to be yet another elevator. Crocker then pushed a button labeled B10F, and the elevator dropped to this floor level.
As the elevator doors opened at its destination, the two Crockers now stood in the midst of a huge laboratory, possibly taking up four floors in height, scattered with various devices having various fairy-related purposes, tacked-on crackpot theories about fairies, and a blackboard on wheels, with the word 'SUSPECTS' written on it, and taped with photos of Crocker's students. Some of these photos, like Trixie's or Francis's, were marked with an X, others with a question mark, and specifically Timmy and Chloe with red circles surrounding the photos. Crocker actually went to the moveable blackboard and taped a photo of Phineas and Ferb on it, and then encircled it with a red crayon, before going back to his mother.
"I see you're surprised, Mother", Crocker noted. "You must be wondering where we are now?"
"...Is this still the Crocker Bunker?" Dolores asked.
"Not really", Denzel smirked. "Mother, I bid you welcome... TO THE CROCKER CAVE TWO!"
"...Two?" Mrs Crocker asked.
"Yes. Two", Crocker confirmed. "It's a new version of the Crocker Cave. The Crocker Cave Two is twice as big, three times more compressed, four times more soundproofed, five times more resourceful, and has free wi-fi internet, that can even be accessed within the Crocker Bunker above! This is the perfect place to not only continue building devices to capture FAIRY GODPARENTS, but to also monitor my suspects via hidden cameras, and to perfect THIS!"
Crocker then pushed a button, causing a rather frigid glass case to erect from the floor. Said glass case contains a brick of iron.
As Crocker gazed over the case, he lectured: "When I have perfected this alchemic formula made by my ancestor Alden Bitteroot, I'll be able to keep Phineas and Ferb captured without the fear of their FAIRIES freeing them, and poofing them away before I can capture THEM first."
"That's just a brick of iron", Dolores pointed out.
"It is, right now", Denzel said. "This particular brick I've stored away in the Crocker Cave Two in case I wanted to create the formula again. Admittedly, I've completely forgotten about it until I rediscovered Alden's notes on the formula when I was plotting last night. But I think it's time for me to perform the next step in my scheme to get FAIRY GODPARENTS: perfect the formula and re-introduce the world of fairies to a long-forgotten weakness that has faded away in history, much stronger and potent than butterfly nets... Cold Iron."
"You already have a brick of cold iron right there", Dolores pointed out.
"Not LITERAL cold iron, you old bat", Denzel yelled back. "Cold Iron, with Capital C and Capital I, a metal that supposedly remains cold, even after putting it in hot fire. It's been said to ward off fairy magic."
"But why do you need this Cold Iron now, Denzel", his mother asked.
"To make sure my prisoners won't escape", Crocker responded. "If my suspicions are confirmed (and they most presumably will be), their FAIRIES can easily free them if I use regular iron chains. And if I use a simple butterfly net, Phineas and Ferb can just free themselves in some way. I have to make sure that they're incapable of breaking loose and leaving this place, and this formula should be the ticket."
Denzel Crocker gave his mother a tablet and announced: "Mother, I'll be quite busy for a while, so in the meantime, I ask you to look through this blog and search for any clue about what Phineas and Ferb like, which I can use as luring material."
"Luring material?" Dolores inquired.
Crocker responded: "Yes, you think I'm going to just snag them while their friends can just see me immediately, and can have a good look to where my van will be headed? That sort of stuff can ruin my entire plan! NOW BEGONE!"
Dolores picked up the tablet her son presented to her, and went into the elevator. After pressing the button to B3F, she could hear her son yelling "FAIRIES!" right before the doors closed.
Author's Note: Yeah, I know, this is incredibly late. Hopefully my next chapters will be out sooner.
Hopefully, the Cold Iron plot device isn't too farfetched. It may be a bit weird to give the fairies a sudden new weakness, but hey, Cold Iron was a thing used in belief to ward off fairies and witches in the Middle Ages (and I gotta thank Pokémon for knowing that now).
Although, from what I read, Cold Iron may include swords and other metal weapons, which I'm pretty sure fairies have interacted with before... um... let's just say that they're not made of the same thing for this fanfic series right now.
OK, see you next time!