Hello, well, President's Day is pretty much over, so this won't be an everyday thing. If I'm lucky, this will at least be weekly-if you still like it. Otherwise, let's get on with the show.

Roy stretched his arms as he sat up out of bed and rolled his head. Last night, which was the anniversary of him becoming Ollie's partner, ended wonderfully and horrifically; true, he was able to drink a quart of vodka, but then Ollie's biological sons Connor and Robert joined in and began an all-out drinking contest, which resulted in such a horrid hangover that ended with him vomiting over a special French rug. Luckily, Arty made no big deal about it, and when they arrived home, she fed him crackers and gave him water until he was well enough to brush his teeth.

Roy kicked the covers off him, stumbled to the bathroom, and removed his clothing. Artemis was at a school meeting, so she wouldn't be back until eleven or something. He turned the shower on and let every inch of his body and hair be soaked before he rubbed water over his face and pulled out his Red Axe body wash. Just that sharp smell of masculine pine and ivy made him feel more alert. He rubbed it over his arms, chest, and calves. Every body part woke up at every touch, and he felt ready to go for a run. He rinsed his skin off of the suds and grabbed his Red Axe shampoo, which he squirted and lathered on his palm and lathered on his red hair. Once his scalp was healthy and clean, he rinsed his head of the grease and suds-wait, grease?

Roy rubbed his fingers together and realized something was not right. He stepped out of the shower, rubbed a towel over the fogged mirror, and saw the problem.

His hair was clamped down to his head, his roots oily and smelled of tomatoes.

"Oh my God," he whispered. He removed a clump of red goo, lifted it to his nose…and suddenly thought of hot dogs, hamburgers, and French Fries.

When Artemis came home that evening, she smelled a little ketchup and set the grocery bag on the table. Beside the food was a note that said Roy had gone to the store for shampoo and other 'man products.' Artemis nodded smirking evilly and walked to the bathroom, where a bug camera was asleep.

After shopping for what he needed, Roy had decided to visit Mount Justice for a soda break when, as soon as he walked in, he saw Dick Grayson, Wally West, and Conner (was it Kent?) engaged in endless laughter. "Hey, guys, what's going on?" he asked. Dick and Wally turned around at him and ended up exploding in laughter again.

Roy felt offended and a little bit angry. "Okay, I'm going to try again-hey, guys, what's going on, and this time I want a reply-a real, legit reply—"

"You have to watch this video!" Conner yelled in fits of laughter. Roy walked behind him and gasped.

It was a video on YouTube entitled "Roy Washes His Hair with Ketchup." It was him looking in the mirror looking horrified, with Artemis popping up on screen and saying, "His hair is going to look like that for about two hours."

Roy gritted his teeth, turned his back to his laughing friends, and stomped out of the cave. "I'm going to put some dirt in your eye, miss," he muttered planning a form of revenge in his mind. Artemis was still out of town (she left to help her mother with something), so he decided this was the best time to form his method of revenge. He pulled out the bottle, put his shampoo away, grabbed her facial soap and a spoon, which he tapped against the jar.

Roy smirked as he opened her facial wash, tilted the bottle of his own glorious plan, and poured half of it into the face soap. She wouldn't be back until six, so he could go on forever. "This is going to be better than the atomic bomb!"

In the eye doctor's office, Roy suffered under Ollie and Dinah's angry glaring while hiding behind a magazine. "So let me get this straight—because she posted a video of you having to wash your hair with ketchup on YouTube, you decided to put a whole bottle of hot sauce in her facial soap," Ollie clarified.

Roy nodded meekly.

"Roy, didn't you know this could permanently blind her?" snapped Dinah. "I mean—"

"She won't be permanently blind," the doctor said as he walked into the waiting room. He was supporting Artemis, who had on a pair of sunglasses. "However, it did cause temporary damage to the irises and pupils, so this could last for about two days. In the meantime, she needs bed-rest and a lack of physical activity."

Ollie and Dinah growled at Roy, who stood awkwardly beside Artemis. Somehow, she could feel his presence. "I'm so sorry, Artemis," he apologized. "Can you forgive me?"

Artemis forgave her roommate by punching him in the mouth.

Batman was almost ready to explode when Ollie and Dinah called to say Artemis had briefly lost her sight and would be absent for two days. Roy reluctantly cooked, helped her to the toilet, and brushed her teeth while she listened to music and 'watched' movies on TV. Worse, he had to do all her homework, write her papers, and try to solve whatever she was learning in Calculus ("Calculus?" he asked. "You're fifteen-fucking-years-old, how could you be learning this stuff?" he yelled. "I didn't learn even Pre-Calculus until I was seventeen!" "Shut up and grab me another Popsicle!" Artemis croaked through her fifth one. Roy growled and slammed the book shut as he stomped to the freezer.).

Even more, Artemis would purposely keep calling for favors, snacks, and trips to the grocery or dollar store ("Roy, I want fruit snacks!" "Roy, can you buy green tea!" "Roy, I hate anything Diet!" "Roy, I want a cheese sandwich!" Sometimes she spoke in only French or Vietnamese) just to annoy him for two fucking days until he got only three hours of sleep—all in all, six hours.

When she was able to see again, Roy forced her to delete the video (which three different people named Red Wonder and Hacker 13, Fastest-Kid-Alive, and Conner-Loves-Megan saw at least a million times each) and their relationship slowly began to mend.

Yeah, short and weird, but worth it.

Hey, I'm still interested in the Facebook idea, but I decided to do their own version of 'Failsafe,' where they go through the practice test to see how they would react in a situation like that. What do you think? Give me suggestions please.

In addition, let me know when and what days you visit this site so I will know when to post the chapters.