Ow.
Rin walks down the gravel path. The thin soles of her shoes makes it feel as if she's walking barefoot on the jagged rocks.
They really need to work on uniform design…
The vivid green grass on the fields are illuminated by the orange light of the sun, barely over the horizon. Drops of dew hang on the end of some grass blades, giving the normally uniform fields a heterogenous feel. The air is moist and crisp, refreshing when breathed in.
Well, high school seems a lot different. It's a new beginning…
The grounds are still quiet as of now, but the noise level gradually increases as more students enter the black metal front gates. Laughter and talking, familiar sounds that Rin hates, begin to fill the school.
It seems that everybody already seems to know each other. It's always like this...I thought that it took a while for people to get used to each other.
Rin feels vulnerable again.
Here, I have nothing to defend myself with. Observers will see me as a quiet and unpopular girl, a nobody, someone not worthy of attention.
She feels a slight sense of fear.
Please, let that change soon. After the first exam, I'll be known as the brightest girl the school has ever seen. Calm down now...
Why do I want to win so badly? My parents and teachers, they've pushed me so hard so that I could come out on top of everybody else. I don't know...I just gradually incorporated that into my identity. Above anything else, I want others to hold me in high esteem...I won't be the target of condescending looks and words. I won't die unknown, buried in a uninscribed grave. I won't live like the forgotten millions who have come before me...I need to be recognized as someone special...if that means I have to study until insanity...I have no choice. I can abandon anything for that...laughter and companionship. Those laughing idiots...they may not want to be with me now...but they'll regret it when they fail to rise above mediocrity. It's the only thing now that I need to live.
Someone near her gives a loud, cheerful yell. Rin nearly jumps.
What the hell?
A group of rowdy boys are gathered around a small lily pond. A boy with a rumpled shirt throws a pebble into the water, sees it make one or two ripples, and then puts his hand to his face, clearly distraught. The goldfish in the water, frantically swimming away from the ripples also seem rather distressed that rocks are being pelted at them.
Is this some kind of display of masculinity? There are better things to do, you know.
The yellow-haired boy on the train is in the group. He's sitting near the pond, rolling a pebble between his thumb and index finger. He looks up when Rin walks near the lake.
He's staring at me again. Does he have a sensor that specializes in detecting me?
Rin feels a small burst of jealousy, but quickly suppresses it.
Already found friends, haven't you? I hope you enjoy your time with them, or rather, I hope you enjoy wasting your time with them…
She ends her thoughts in a slightly sadistic mood.
"Hey, you over there!" A female voice calls out with sharp articulation
Oh crap, I can't be in trouble already…
"Len Kagamine! What the hell do you think you're wearing?"
The other boys in the crowd seems to notice something immediately and quickly begin to move away from him. The boy with the rumpled shirt straightens his uniform and begins to examine the pebble he's holding in his hand, putting on an expression of obviously faked interest.
Did you all seriously just notice that he wasn't wearing a uniform? You people are really good observers...And you need to put on a much better face than that. But I don't blame you...I wouldn't want to associate with an idiot like that either…
The source of the voice, a stern-looking teacher in a black school dress, approaches and tightly seizes Len by the forearm.
That looks painful, but he isn't wincing at all. I don't believe it...he's still staring at me.
"Did you look at yourself today before you came to school? Where's your school pride?"
"What school pride?" Len says back in a monotonous voice.
"You aren't wearing your school uniform!"
"This is my school uniform."
Everybody around quiets down suddenly. The boy in the rumpled shirt seems to be sweating slightly.
Damn, there's this suffocating tension in the air...He really needs to learn when and where to say certain things.
"You better come with me now...I'll admit, you've got some good nerve."
Len doesn't say anything and walks behind the teacher, who waves away students blocking their path.
"You can stop staring at that girl over there...even if you're attracted to her…"
The other boys burst out laughing and then begin to talk excitedly. The boy with the rumpled shirt has collapsed to the ground, rolling in the grass and grabbing his face with his hand.
Well, as expected, my cheeks are burning. I guess I was always this sensitive...damn, the blush has spread to my neck. I wouldn't be surprised if steam was coming out of both sides of my face. Teachers have to always misinterpret something…
"Miss Kagamine!"
Rin turns around. A white-haired man in a plaid shirt raises his hand at her. His black eyes appear very serious, displaying little other emotion.
A teacher? Or the principal, maybe? He looks rather old to still be teaching.
"Yes? How may I help you?" Rin gives a small bow.
The man smiles slightly, making his wrinkled skin more prominent.
"So, the rumors were true. I see, as well-mannered as expected."
"Y-you've heard of me before?"
The man begins to squint at her. He seems to be evaluating something.
Why is everybody staring at me today? I'm not wearing anything provocative, just the school uniform...
He gives a small chuckle.
"You have exactly the same expression as your father has when confused."
I didn't think my father was ever confused...He always seemed to know what he wanted to do…
"You know my father, then?"
"It's been, I think, thirty years since I had him as a student? He's not an easily forgettable person. He gave off this air of uncanny intelligence and ability. Well, he wasn't much of a talker, always preferring to go off and read by himself. But he was a brilliant student, diligent and respected. I'm fairly sure that almost every student in his class looked up to him. So, I thought it little a surprise that you are his daughter. Yes, I've heard a great deal about you from you teachers in middle school."
Damn, this feeling, it's happening again.
Rin feels all other sensations in her mind have been wiped clean, all replaced by a mounting euphoria.
It's during these times that I feel like a goddess, a person far above others…
"Well, it's been good talking to you. I have confidence that you'll do things...great things, I believe.
"Y-yes, sir. I'll try my hardest!"
The man gives a small nod and walks away, hands folded behind his back.
As Rin walks toward the raised lawn, where the welcome ceremony was being held, she keeps thinking about the man's words.
I have confidence...that you'll do great things...
I have to give it my all...I can't let others down.
Rin looks ahead at the bulk of students.
Oh crap, they seem to be going up something. Damn, it's stairs.
She grabs her suitcase at the handle with both hands, inhales deeply, and imagines that she's focusing all her strength into her arms.
Come on, it's only 8 steps. Only 10 feet or so…
Her legs begin to wobble slightly and her arms begin to burn.
I probably weigh barely more than this. I can't screw up and look like a fool…
Driven by fear of shame and humiliation, Rin slowly walks up the steps. She thinks of some motivating music, like in an epic battle scene in a shounen anime, but she can't remember how it goes exactly.
Ever since I destroyed those headphones, I haven't listened to music. It's been a long time…
When she walks onto the last step, Rin becomes overfilled with relief and loses all her strength. She drops the suitcase on the grass and leans against the railing.
Damn, now I'm really hungry. But well, I can't eat here on the grass, and I don't have time to leave since the teachers' speeches are going to start soon. What an unfortunate combination of events…
She sits down and tries to study to forget her hunger. Lifting the physics textbook out of the bag is torture on her aching arms.
Let's see...different formulations of classical mechanics. What the hell is this?
She skims through the various diagrams, labeled with complicated mathematical symbols.
I didn't even know this stuff existed before...that squiggly sign and those fractions with weird-looking d's…
No, I can't give up. Keep reading, Rin…
She reads through the first few pages, barely absorbing any meaningful information.
I still don't get what the hell the principle of least action means…
And I'm still hungry...maybe looking at the food will help…or maybe not...
She rummages through her textbooks and finds her bento. The warmth emanates through the wrapped towel.
That's really enticing, I admit that…
She wraps her hands around a cool-feeling bottle of something. She lifts it out and looks.
Wow, am I lucky...It's not just juice...it's not-from-concentrate orange juice!
She looks at the expiration date.
April 17. 14:00.
Damn, by that time I'll still be in school, listening to these people talk about school policy. I can't drink anything here besides water…
It's only a few hours difference...but once it expires it won't taste the same. It's some sort of psychological effect...knowing that it's expired just makes it taste worse…
"Why aren't you eating? Especially since you've lifted that pack all the way up here. With your tiny muscles, that's a rather impressive achievement."
It's Len. That little…
He sits down next to Rin and opens his own bento - a bunch of bananas.
That's all he eats? They don't even look ripe…
"Um, excuse me, but the school says that we're not allowed to eat on the grass."
Len doesn't even look at her now. He just peels a banana and eats it impassively.
"If the school tells you to poke my eyes with a pair of chopsticks, would you do it? Actually, that might be a legitimate question."
Rin can't help but feel both amused and annoyed.
Damn it, I have to censor my thoughts. I can't come off rude and undignified…
"Nah, I'd poke them through the ears. You don't really seem to need them anyway."
Damn, that just flowed out of my mouth. No self-control...
Len laughs.
His laugh isn't sarcastic or ill-willed...just sincere. He seems genuinely happy, really...
Len's still smiling when he packs up and walks away. Rin shakes her head in confusion.
Rin's resisting the urge to fall asleep. The sky is becoming blanketed by long, grey clouds, and the air is becoming warm. A gentle breeze blows through her hair, and she tries to keep back a yawn.
I have to stay awake…It probably wouldn't matter, since the lawn here is so large, and the teachers are so far away they probably wouldn't notice. They could at least think of something interesting to talk about…
Her eyelids are about half-closed now.
The wind seems to pick up behind Rin's back. She hears in her sleepy state loud and uncoordinated footsteps approach.
Who is it?
Rin feels a strong force strike her off-balance, and she falls forward, her face roughly hitting the soil. She can smell the dirt - earthy and raw.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Rin explodes in anger and looks around. It's the teal-haired girl. She's wearing earphones, except they're only partially-in-place now, jarred by the impact.
Hatsune...Miku. Rin reads the kanji etched into the sides of the earphone bridge.
That name seems really familiar...
"Sorry, that came a lot more forceful than I intended."
No.
"H-hey, I was just trying to give you a hug. No hard feelings?"
"Who even gives a hug like that? Why did you want to hug me in the first place?"
Miku sits down and puts her head on her hands, thinking hard.
"Well, the world needs more love, don't you agree?"
That's the best you can come up with?
Rin begins to laugh.
From the way you were thinking, I thought you were going to spit out some profound philosophy.
Miku raises her eyebrows in a threatening fashion. She gives Rin a knowing expression.
Scary. That look...I feel like that...we've met before...
"You think I'm joking, don't you? The deepest meanings can be expressed in the simplest ways, you know…"
Yeah, sure.
"Here, I'll play you something!" Miku begins to take off the bag strapped across her shoulders.
"W-w-what?! Here? This isn't a concert hall!" Rin protests.
"Who gives a damn?"
"U-um…"
Oh, youthful recklessness...
Miku proceeds to take out an amplifier, a microphone, a stand, and a small white electric guitar.
How much stuff do you carry in there?
Crap, this is going to draw a lot of negative attention.
"H-hey! Don't…"
Miku ignores her and straightens the stand.
"Testing…"
You think that you won't be noticed?
She begins to play two heavy chords followed by a passage of several more notes.
I feel as if I've heard this song before. But the feeling's very vague…
I have this weird feeling...that this song is missing piano and drums. It doesn't sound right with only guitar.
Suddenly, Rin experiences a flashback - she sees a small playground. Swings, the slide, the sandbox. But she sees something else even more clearly.
What is it? It looks like a hopscotch diagram...
What? I'm hearing voices too - small, high-pitched voices. They seem to be pleading for something…
"Rin! Come on, we can do it, together..You don't have to play that section by yourself. I'll be playing as well, with you..."
"Rin! It'll sound really good...you're not as stupid as you think...well, that still isn't saying much...Alright, alright, you don't have to hit me…"
Miku's voice rings out high and clear, bringing Rin back to reality.
I'll have to admit...she's a natural singer.
"The lonely girl is forever dreaming of something she can't reach and
Churning, churning the insides of her flustered mind.
'There's no problem.' she mutters; has she lost her words?
…
One more time, one more time.
'I'll roll today too.'"
What is it I actually want to reach? Am I denying something? Am I rolling away from something? Rolling Girl...I remember the name of the song…what does that mean?
"Hatsune! Come here with all your damn stuff!" The stern teacher in black clothing appears suddenly and casts a stony glance at Miku.
"S-sensei, I can explain...no, don't take my guitar...I need that, I mean, I need that to live…"
You need that to live? What the hell do you mean?
Delayed update. This chapter was the end product of a sad tale. It's actually my second time writing this. I wrote the first version yesterday, but someone slammed my laptop shut too hard, and screwed over the hard drive. I was going to kill myself over not uploading it to Google Docs. Luckily, what I wrote before was still fresh in my head, so I mostly just copied over my first draft. So don't slam your laptop shut, even in rage.
Again, please check for sections that are way too similar to those of other works. More paranoia. That probably came from reading about Opal Mehta (look it up).
I admit, I was sort of hit by a massive break in inspiration. Writer's block sucks.
I think that I'm pulling along the story too slowly. Probably I'm getting too into my own world to get to the main plot quickly. Criticisms?
I drew inspiration from a bunch of stuff. I think they include Harry Potter, Catcher in the Rye, Tales of Xillia, and this band concert at my school. That physics stuff I read from some online pages and a textbook. I had to do a project on that stuff, but I never really got it. I was probably influenced by a bunch of other stuff, but I don't remember now, so I'll keep this space here as a placeholder when I think of them.
Song is Rolling Girl by Genjitsutouchi-P. I may be biased in selecting these songs since I usually choose my favorite ones first, but this song fits the tone of the story surprisingly well.
Used below site for lyrics:
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Used below two sites for interpretations of the lyrics
wiki/Rolling_Girl
wiki/%E3%83%AD%E3%83%BC%E3%83%AA%E3%83%B3%E3%82%AC %E3%83%BC%E3%83%AB_%28Rolling_Girl%29
Misa Kagekatsu
Well, that's about the best thing I can hear from someone, that someone's been able to relate to my story. And for my gender...I don't quite want to reveal it yet. I dunno, I just feel that once I do, my writing will become more limited in some way.
Dreamer520
Yeah, I agree with your statement about POV. But well, I honestly think that girls are more emotional (well, at least on the outside, based on psychology studies) than boys. Girls are shown to display more empathy, generally.
Happy Neko 6
Damn, I got a bit giddy reading your review too. I kind of started to pace around the room to calm down, haha.
Well, fanfiction writers, I suppose, most of them are female.
Yeah, vocaloid songs could be very insightful - but they seem rather superficial at first, it takes a bit of digging and thinking to get something that has meaning to you.