As always, tons of love to those responsible for all the alerts I've been getting and even more love to the lovelies who've reviewed! You make my world go 'round!

I've also decided I should just say it and let it be known for the rest of the chapters—this story is going to be dealing with a lot of discussion on the death of their child. If it upsets you, don't read. Otherwise, read it and love it because that's why I do it :)

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns these characters. I'm just subjecting them to my fun little schemes. I do own Jasper Cat though. Literally, I have a 17 lb tabby named Jasper Cat. :)

Chapter 4

Edward heard Bella asking, no, asking wasn't the right word, she was demanding to know what the hell he was doing. Wanting nothing more than to not have that damn bag in his house, a constant reminder that he hadn't been there when his wife and his son needed him, he ignored her and walked with it right out the front door. Placing the black garbage bag at the end of the sidewalk, he turned and saw Bella running out of the house in her faded pink and blue flannel fleece robe. "Edward Anthony Cullen, get our son's diaper bag OUT of that trash bag right now!"

"No," he said firmly, "it's staying out here until it's hauled away. I don't want it here!"

"Fuck you," Bella spat, pushing past him and over to the only bag of garbage they had ever fought over. Pulling the blue bag out, she hugged it to her chest and walked back into the house, not looking back at him before slamming the door.

He went back and threw the door open. "Dammit, Bella, you can't hold on to everything of his forever! He's gone! What? Are you just going to sleep on that damn glider for the rest of your fucking life? Are you going to start carrying that bag around with you?"

He felt like an asshole, he knew he was over reacting. The one person he loved more than anything in the world was standing in front of him, tears rolling down her face. She was still clutching the diaper bag and was now shaking her head in disbelief, as if she couldn't believe he had said all of that to her. He softened, taking a step towards her just to watch her take a step away from him. "Bell's..."

"Don't," she said calmly, holding up the hand that wasn't clutching the bag, "I can't do this right now. Please, just go. I know your dad called earlier, inviting everyone to lunch...just go. I really just need you to go."

He felt what was left of his heart shatter into even more pieces. She had never asked him to leave before. Sure, they fought, what couple didn't? Sure, they screamed and yelled, they went to bed angry, they argued about bills, doing the dishes, cleaning out Jasper Cat's litter box...but she had never asked him to leave before. The one time he tried was because of a fight they were having over his ex-girlfriend, Tanya, and he had left—for five minutes.

He'd made it to the end of the driveway and couldn't bring himself to back out. Knowing Bella was in the house hurting, even though it was his fault, he couldn't leave. He left the car at the end of the driveway, walked back into the house, and sat with her for three straight hours. Neither one of them would say a fucking word to the other, neither willing to back down, but even though they were upset with each other it was still easier for them both to be near each other. That's the way they had always been.

This time he knew things wouldn't be that easy. She had asked him to go. This is what she wanted. Knowing he'd hurt her that bad, he knew it would be best if he'd just give her what she had asked for. The truth was, he wanted her close just as much as she wanted him gone. He knew that he had already been selfish enough. It would be best if he went.

He couldn't move. He looked around for a few moments, pretending to be searching for something. Letting Bella think that he'd lost his car keys or his wallet but he knew the truth of it. Jasper Cat came sauntering up to him, as if wondering what the hell was going on before giving up and walking away. When he looked up from where the large cat had been, he noticed Bella was no longer standing in front of him, she was retreating back upstairs. After another ten minutes of staring at the white carpeted floor, he finally decided to leave.

Pulling into his childhood home, he watched as the door was flung open before he could get the car into park. Alice practically flew down the stairs, nearly knocking him over when he got out. "I'm so glad you came! We're just finishing up the invitations for the wedding and mom cooked a turkey and...where's Bella?", she asked as her face fell into a frown, trying to look into the dark tinted windows.

"She's...um...busy. Yeah, she's really busy today. I'm...uh...not staying long. Just for lunch."

"Bullshit. Edward, what's going on," he couldn't help but chuckle, leave it to his little sister to call him out. She knew something was up and was now standing in front of him with her arms crossed.

"Ally, not now, come on. I want to go see if mom needs any help with the turkey."

"You're lying again but fine. Let's go," she said with a sigh, practically skipping up the stairs into the huge architect's dream of a house. He was greeted at the door by everyone else. Emmett was standing behind Rose with his arms around her, his mother and father were standing off to the side, and Jasper was looking at Edward with a concerned expression. He was just as observant as his wife.

"Edward, you made it!" Esme said, breaking the silence and giving him a hug. If she noticed Bella wasn't there, she didn't comment on it. He really fucking loved that woman.

When they were all seated and passing around the stuffing and potatoes, Edward pretended to pay attention as the girls went on and on about the wedding. Carlisle was trying to make small talk with Jasper about how he was thinking of redoing the bathroom. Even Emmett seemed to be babbling with the girls. Oh, no, they sucked him into the excitement of the 'wedding of the century' as him and Jazz had deemed it that night at Tyler's. Not one person had even mentioned Bella's name. It was strange, he would have sworn that all these years she was more loved by his parents than he was.

He had nothing to contribute to any of the ramblings and sat their trying to figure out when he should take the chances of going home. He didn't know what was appropriate for a situation where the wife asks the husband to leave. What if she doesn't want me back at all?

"Earth to Edward! Come in Edward!" Emmett's booming voice brought him back to the happy Sunday lunch.

"Sweetie, are you okay?" Esme asked, concerned, "You're staring at your turkey, dear."

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, just didn't get much sleep last night." He wasn't lying, he always had trouble sleeping without Bella. After two weeks, he still wasn't used to it. He wanted to be awake if she decided to join him...but she never did.

"Alright," Esme said, standing up and walking over to him. Sliding his food away, she kissed the top of his head like she had when he was little and said, "It seems you're done eating, come on, why don't you go lie down for a little while."

He followed her out of the room and up to his childhood bed. Lying down, he watched as his mother sat down beside him and kissed his forehead, "I don't know what's going on. I can't even imagine what the two of you are going through right now. We love you both so, so much. If you don't communicate, you'll never work this out." After another kiss, this time on his cheek, she left. He was asleep in seconds.

Bella couldn't believe what he'd said to her. He couldn't possibly have meant what he said. She tried not to think about it but couldn't get it off her mind. She sat on the floor of the nursery, still clutching the small diaper bag. Opening it, she pulled out one of her most prized possessions, something she couldn't believe he'd want to throw out. Looking down at the sepia colored picture she smiled a faint smile and ran her finger over the ultrasound photo of her son. The only pictures of him she would ever have.

He didn't know. She kept trying to tell herself, trying to make herself believe he wouldn't have knowingly tried to throw away these beautiful pictures of the son they would never again see alive. He had to have known. She'd told him a hundred times where she'd put them, no, where HE had put them. She could remember him scanning them and sending the emails to Renee, Charlie, Billy, and supposedly Jake. She wasn't good with computers. He did it at work, brought them back home, and put them in the bag. They'd plan to get a frame for them but she'd forgotten about it.

She knew he was right about one thing, she couldn't live her life in mourning. She also knew she wasn't handling any of this well. Edward was the whipping boy in this sad life she was living. It wasn't his fault that she'd lost her child, he was just the one she was taking it out on. She had never asked him to leave before and still couldn't believe she had today. She was in even more disbelief that he had actually listened to her. Tonight. Tonight would be different. She had to stop this. She also had to know if he KNEW what he almost did today. They needed to talk. They needed to sleep beside each other. They needed to stop living this way.

Every Sunday since they'd been married, he would set up his laptop so she could talk face to face with Renee, Charlie, and Jake. Needing to take her mind off things, she figured she'd give them a call since she wasn't sure where the laptop even was. She called Renee first. Her mother was always so...well...she never really knew how to describe her mother.

"Bell's! Oh, sweetie, how are you? Phil and I are on our way to a sex therapy class! Isn't that exciting!"

"Mom, really, I don't want to hear this. I'm just calling to say hi," Bella muttered, slightly disgusted yet also just as amused.

"Please, you act like you and Edward never..."

"Mom! Alright, changing the subject..." They talked for about ten minutes before hanging up.

Next, she called Charlie, who sounded flustered like he always did. It amazed her that he always answered the phone like he'd never even seen a phone before. "Uh...hello?" Charlie had asked her.

"Hey, dad, it's Bell's. Whatcha doin? You sound sort of distracted." Bella asked curiously.

"What...oh...um, yeah how are you?" he replied, obviously not paying attention.

"Who's playing?" she asked him, humored. She should have figured he was watching a game, it was almost four o'clock on a Sunday afternoon.

Jake was the last person she called. She always saved his call for last since he always cheered her up after the homesick feelings hit her from talking to Charlie and Renee. Today, like always, he knew something wasn't quite right. "What's wrong with the computer?" he asked after they'd said their hello's.

"Edward's not here to hook it up so I figured I'd just call," she answered.

"Oh, where's he at?"

"His parents for Sunday lunch."

"Why aren't you at Sunday lunch?"

"I really don't want to talk about it, Jake. Let's talk about Forks, what's the latest news?"

After talking about Seth's college move-in, Leah's new job as a night shift nurse, and Billy's cholesterol, Jake lowered his voice. "I don't know if I should bring this up right now but I don't want you to be mad at me for keeping you from knowing. I know you and Emily are close..."

"What's up, Jake? Just spit it out."

"Em's pregnant. We found out yesterday."

"Oh. That's great, Jake, really. Tell her and Sam I said congratulations," she could feel herself tearing up.

He must have heard her spirits drop, "Bell's, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up."

Then, like word vomit, it all came out. "Jake, I hate this! I hate how everyone's so worried that they watch my every movement. I hate how Edward's been acting. I hate that he just wants everything to go back to normal. His family's great but I can't even stand being around Ally anymore. I know she and Jazz are trying to get pregnant and I just want to tell them not to! That it hurts too bad when you lose a baby! Everything Edward does sets me off. Sometimes I feel like maybe we weren't given a baby because God knew we shouldn't be together.

"He's different from me. His whole family is full of successful business people! They live in huge, beautiful homes! They wear designer clothes! Hell, one of them IS a fashion designer! He drives a Vanquish for Christ sake! What am I? I'm a stay at home wife that comes from a poor small town and can't even give her husband a child! I don't belong here!"

The sound of a door slamming shut snapped her out of her venting. Spinning around she looked out the front window just in time to see headlights of a car come on in the driveway and pull out...Edward. He now took off down the street. Shit! How much of that did he hear?

"Bella? Are you still there?" She realized Jake had been trying to get her attention.

"Oh, God, Jake! I think Edward just heard all of that! Dammit!"

"Bella," Jake sighed, "if that's how you really feel then you shouldn't have to hide it. If you truly aren't happy there, why don't you come back here for awhile? You can spend some time with Leah and Emily! There aren't many girls our age living on the reservation, you could stay with Charlie and come hang with us. Just take a break for awhile. Maybe if you spend some time away from Seattle you can give yourself a chance to decide which is better for you."

"I know but I'd promised myself that when Edward came back from his parent's we'd talk everything out and try to fix things. I just made things worse."

"That's bullshit and you know it! He's your husband for better or for worse, right? If he can't handle how you truly feel then he's an asshole!"

"Jake, don't say that about him. He's going through a lot, too. I have to go."

"Fine, but at least think about coming here for a visit. We all really do miss you."

Hanging up, she realized Jake was right, though she'd never tell him that. Edward should realize that all the sacrifices she'd made for him had to have had an effect on her. Of course she missed her family! She loved his just as much but maybe she did need to get away for awhile.

Suddenly feeling the effects of all the sleepless nights, she decided to climb into her and Edward's bed for the first time in two weeks. Pulling the covers up, she wondered when he'd come home. Hopefully, he would listen to her when she apologized. She missed him. She eventually fell asleep dreaming about visiting Forks with Edward at her side.

After his three hour long nap, he had tried to talk Em and Jazz into going for a few drinks. There were a few private clubs they belonged to which were open on Sundays. Everyone was sitting on the patio, taking in the warm September sunlight when he mentioned it. At first, both guys seemed to be open to the idea but Rosalie and Alice quickly stole their thunder. Turns out, they were still pissed off at all three guys for not being able to get a hold of them the night the world fell apart.

Carlisle knew what he was trying to do, he just was stalling to go home. "Edward, you need to go spend some time with Bell's."

"Yeah, besides, you have work tomorrow morning and if you're not there I'm going to come drag you into the office. My caseload is WAY to big for one person!" Rosalie said, only half joking.

"Seriously, dude, she comes home royally bitchy after working her ass off," Emmett said before really thinking, causing an elbow to the ribs from his fiance.

He had gone home, with the full intention of apologizing and telling her she could keep the diaper bag. It wasn't worth losing her over. When he'd gotten home, he'd opened the door quietly and heard her talking in the kitchen. When he realized she was on the phone, he quietly walked toward her, not wanting to interrupt. That's when he heard her say it. How unhappy she was. How she didn't belong here.

"Sometimes I feel like maybe we weren't given a baby because God knew we shouldn't be together. He's different from me. His whole family is full of successful, wealthy people! They live in huge, beautiful homes! They wear designer clothes! Hell, one of them IS a fashion designer! He drives a Vanquish for Christ sake!"

That's all he'd heard but it was enough. He knew she was talking to Jacob. Jacob was the only person she was ever that fucking honest with. She wasn't even that open with him. Her own damn husband. Maybe it should have been her beloved Jacob all along. Maybe she was right. Maybe she was just too different from him and his family.

Either way, it was clear that she didn't want him around right now. He had gone back to his car and had taken off. He couldn't go back to his parent's house just for everyone to throw him a damn pity party. He couldn't call Em or Jazz to meet up with him, Rose and Ally would have his balls. Instead, he found himself sitting at one of the two bars open on a Sunday that was close to home.

Three beers in he saw someone sit down beside him, turning on his stool, he shook his head when he saw who it was. "Hello, Mr. Cullen," Tanya said with a the look of the Cheshire cat on her face, "to what do I owe this honor?"

"Well, Miss Denali, maybe I just wanted a drink," he smirked, looking at the one girl and possibly the only person he had ever known his wife to hate.

Raising an eyebrow she replied, "In a bar, by yourself, on a Sunday?"

"I could wonder the same thing about you," he said, avoiding her question.

"You don't have to wonder, Edward, all you have to do is ask," she returned his smirk, running a manicured finger up his forearm.

"Why do I have a feeling like we're talking more about what you want to do here than the question of what you're actually doing here?" he asked, wondering what the hell to do. He'd known her almost his whole life, at one point she was best friends with his little sister. She was Ally's age and would follow him around every time she would come over. Emmett loved teasing him about it, that was, until she had gotten tits—which was about the same time the brothers had hit puberty.

Eventually, Edward, being the defenseless dumbass that he was, gave into the tempting blonde. He dated a lot in high school, lots of different girls, but it always came back to her. It wasn't that he thought they were 'destined to be together' or 'soulmates' or some shit like that. She had fallen hard for him and was always there, ready to snatch him up when another girl didn't work out.

Senior year was hard for him. He had moved back to Seattle after living with his Aunt Beth and Uncle Pete for almost the whole summer. As much as he loved them, they weren't why he missed Forks. He was head over heels in love with Isabella Marie Swan. The day he'd come back, Tanya was waiting there, ready to claim him as her own once again. He wouldn't give into her but she was like a deadly spider. The more he fought to get out of her web, the more she fought to wrap him up and keep him there.

Now, sitting in a bar, by himself, on a Sunday—just as she'd pointed out—he realized how tired he was of fighting. He was tired of mourning, tired of sleepless nights, tired of his unhappy wife, tired of Jacob Black, tired of just simply being tired.

"You know what I'm talking about, baby," Tanya now had made her way over his bicep and was headed for his chest. Just then, the bartender walked up. Edward's whole body tensed but Tanya's hand didn't move. What if he knows Bella? He has to know who I am...I belong to one of the wealthiest families in Seattle. "What can I get ya?" the old man asked, squinting at him.

"Jack on the rocks. Two of them. Make them doubles," Tanya answered without a second of hesitation.

She had pulled her hands away and looked over at him as he raised his eyebrows at her, "What? I'm just buying an old friend a drink, what's so bad about that?"

A lot of things are bad about that. I have to get away from her before things get even fucking worse. He went to stand up just as the old man set the drink in front of him. Tanya, as if starting to feel her web shake, turned his head so he was looking right at her. "I heard about what happened. Why don't you drink your drink and talk. You look like you could use both right now. Tell me what happened, tell me why you look like you'll never see the sun again."

Edward didn't know what to say. He had gone the last two weeks not talking about what happened. No one wanted to hear him talk about it. Bella, his family, his friends, no one wanted to hear about the death of an innocent baby boy. He could talk to her, just talk. There's nothing wrong with talking to an old friend, right? Taking a deep breath he warned, "It's a long, fucked up, unfair, bunch of bullshit story. You sure you want to hear all of this?"

"We're at a bar, by ourselves, on a Sunday. Start talking."

I smell trouble...or maybe that's just Jasper Cat's litter box ;)

Anywoo, this chapter was not my favorite and I have some fun plans for the next one. Student teaching is officially in full swing and I intend to update every day if possible...but my fourth graders need me and I them. Therefore, if you are interested in this story, the more reviews I get the more likely I'll keep updating everyday. I hate to do this and I ADORE those of you who review after each chapter! I would just like to know people are enjoying this and I'm not wasting my time :]

Since this author's note is so long, is there anything anyone would want to see me put in? More of a certain person, theme, etc? I'll try to help you out! (nudge nudge) Tune in next time! LP xo