A/N: Um, yeah, I'm trying really hard to pull this together, okay? So just go with the flow, okay? Read and Enjoy, dollies!!
Love Is Blind
Chapter 4: You are the Knife, so Deepin myHeart
The night had been strange, the ice cream idea abandoned, and a new idea adopted. A sleepover was what Axel had wanted. So juvenile, but his voice was so tired, so desperate when he asked, Roxas could do nothing but comply. Axel's mother was gone, and the two did nothing but watch old movies they'd seen a hundred times before, until eventually drifting into sleep.
Roxas was lying on his back on the couch, his eyes closed. Not that they would help if they were open, all the flat gray would be of no use to him.
Axel was on the floor, somewhere near, but Roxas could hear his soft breathing. He wondered if the elder boy was asleep, but let out a short sigh and rolled to listen closer. He could smell the buttery popcorn scent on the other's salty breath, and practically feel the heat pouring off of him.
"Are you asleep, Axel?" His voice was a soft whisper, his head resting on his elbow, "Axel…?"
"I'm awake," the other said softly, barely conscious. Roxas could hear the shuffling of blankets, and knew that Axel was now sitting up.
"Can you see me?" Roxas whispered slowly.
"No," was the tired response he received, "It's late… like two in the morning…"
"I can see you," Roxas reached and touched Axel's shoulder, attempting to pull him up onto the couch with him, "You don't have to stay on the floor, you know, you'll hurt your back."
Axel brushed off the hand on his shoulder, "I'm fine. Why are you up?"
"I can't sleep. You can go back to sleep if you want, I just didn't know if you were awake."
"I am now."
The two sat in silence for several minutes until finally; Roxas opened his mouth to speak once again.
"Axel, do you believe in love?"
"What?"
"Love. You know. Like some people don't believe in it because it seems fake. But do you believe in it…? I think I do. I listen to Riku and Sora sometimes. And it's like… I know Riku is touchy with my brother, but even when he's not, they'll be staring at each other, and I know that I can't even try to interrupt whatever is going on between them, you know? Like, even if I wanted to, something is sp deep between them, that I don't think I could even try…"
Axel stretched and crawled onto the end of the couch, careful not to step on Roxas's feet, "I believe in love, Rox. But I think you're the only person in the world who really understands what it is."
"What do you mean?'
"I mean…" Axel waited for Roxas to roll onto his back to listen closer, "I mean that you don't have to see to see anything, so you see everything better… You know?" Axel laughed, "That probably didn't make any sense."
"No," Roxas said softly, "It made perfect sense. I do see everything. Everything everyone else doesn't. I think everyone knows that, too. You believe in love, but you're afraid of it―"
"I'm not afraid―"
"Axel, please don't lie. I know that you're afraid of it, and I know why. But I don't understand why you think it matters. Axel… Why do you think anything matters when you're dealing with love?" Roxas cocked his head to one side and let out a short sigh, "Axel, don't lie to me. Axel. Don't cry."
It was an odd thing to see Axel cry. It was even weirder to hear it. He had short, soft sobs, he wasn't loud or wailing or even disgusting. Axel was nearly silent, and if not for Roxas's acute ears, he wouldn't have even known.
"Roxas―"
"Axel. Tell me what's wrong."
There was silence as a response, but Roxas leaned closer, his head on the elder boy's bony collarbone, "Axel, what are you so afraid of?"
"I don't want to hurt you, Roxas…"
"Why do you think that you would hurt me?"
"I have before, Rox…"
"What are you talking about, Axel? You've done nothing always be my best friend since I was just a little kid… Axel―"
"Roxas, please, don't―" He was sobbing, but Roxas kept talking, almost frantically.
"Axel- Axel, I love you, okay?"
The boy pushed him off, burying his face in his hands, "God, Roxas, no… No, no, no…" He was shaking his head desperately, his entire body trembling, "Roxas, you don't understand… You don't―"
"Axel, tell me, why―"
"There were three of us—there was Rikku—and-and Kadaj—and-and…" Axel shook his head, "No, no, no… Rox, it was just a car battery, you know—we didn't think it would really explode… We didn't think—we―"
"Axel?" Roxas backed away, a sudden sick, sinking feeling deep inside of him, "Axel, you were there? Why-why did you just leave me there…? Why were you there?" On his feet now, Roxas backed towards the door, terrified, "A-Axel―"
"R-Roxas, no, I didn't mean to―"
The blinded boy was gone, stumbling sightlessly down the porch steps and into the grass. Hayes was at his side, but without a leash or harness, the animal was nothing more than a large dog. Roxas was in a panic, even with the soft fur of Hayes against his hands, he had no idea where he was. All he heard was pounding, fast heartbeat—blood rushing to his head—why was Axel there? Why did he leave him there? Where was he?
Roxas could hear a loud noise, loud—sharp sensations on his bare feet—strong smell—exhaust maybe? Loud, that was all he knew, it was so loud. Everything hurt—Hayes, where was Hayes?
"Roxas!!"
It made him sad; he knew that if there was ever a time for everything to go black, this would be it. But he couldn't even have that, could he? Everything was so painful, and he felt so wet and hot, and everything was black. But then again, it was always black, wasn't it?
And really, everything was always painful too, now wasn't it?
There were strong, lank arms around him, long spikes of soft hair brushing against his cheeks, and past the scent of hot and blood and heat and exhaust, there was a faint scent of tears, and even behind that, burnt marshmallows.
A/N: So how you like that? Guess what happened. I tried to make everything bluntly obvious, but from a blind point of view. So do you get it? I hope so. Even if you don't it will all be revealed in the next chapter! So stick with me! And drop a review on your way out! (wink)
—Much, much love, and many, many kisses—the Prince—Riku