Nat: It's been well over a year since I last updated this story! Okay not well over a year it's been just about two months past

And lots of things have happened! For one I've been 17 for almost 4 days now (at time of writing this a/n) (pfft been two weeks now i really should write faster;;;)

Wow i'm so old

I've gotten obsessed with new stories and comics, i've entered, and am halfway through, grade 11 and grade 12 is fast approaching! Wow so terrifying.

But here i am ready to write up this chapter and god i am excited

((if you are a returning reader i suggest going back and rereading chapter one! It is not necessary but I went back and edited it, fixed up misspellings and added a few sentences. Nothing too major but it looks nicer and hopefully flows better. I will probably do it with the rest but for now just chapter one as it is the most important when trying to impress you all.))

ALSO KHR ENDED! Is anyone still keeping up with the fandom i really hope so!

Either way without further a due i present chapter 4 of TSMSAMY

To Shatter My Soul and Make Me Yours

Chapter Four

To be anything but calm

The man before him is trembling in his seat and he smirks at the sight, his trembling intensifies when he notices. He really is a great worker but Reborn isn't going to lie, he loves making his life hell.

"So, Skull" he finally says after minutes of silence, the man, Skull, glances warily at him.

"Y-yes Rebo-" Skull doesn't get a chance to finish his sentence as a gunshot echoes in the room, his shaking intensifies once again and he swallows, the gunshot is a warning he knows all too well. A cock of the brow from Reborn and he starts over; "Yes Chief Commander Reborn?"

Reborn smiles a devious smile, truth be told he hates the title, no one in the office calls him it, makes him feel too formal. Though the man before him is the sole exception, he's known him for the longest time and to a sense they are friends but Reborn will always consider him a lackey, a special one though.

"I need you to... excuse me for a moment."Skull glances at him a confused look on his face but Reborn promptly ignores it. He turns his attention to the phone vibrating in his pocket; a glance at the number gives him a horrible feeling in his stomach.

Hibari Kyoya; head of the disciplinary committee and Tsuna's friend, one who hovers protectively over him like a mother hen but will deny any accusation about it. Tsuna had forced his number into the other boy's phone and promptly added his to Reborn's. For the teen to actually be calling him meant this was something utterly important.

He answers it not a moment later.

"Hello, Reborn speaking."

"Hello" There is a hesitance in his words, not because of shyness but as if he is having trouble keeping his voice level. The feeling in his stomach worsens.

"Is something the matter Kyoya?" Usually the use of his first name so flagrantly earns him a glare or a sharp comment, this time he gets nothing but a much too silent pause.

"The herbi-Tsunayoshi" Hibari rarely calls Tsuna by his name even though he has come to respect and care for the younger boy. He can already tell the following words won't be pleasant.

"Well what?" he snaps, inwardly he chastises himself for not keeping calm but that has always been a problem when it came to Tsuna.

"He has, he has been taken" There is a bite to his words and Reborn can tell he is barely restraining his anger at the situation "right in front of me by some deranged man." He's practically growling and Reborn can tell it's half anger at the man but more so anger at himself, for failing to protect someone so precious.

Maybe that is why he does not yell at him for failing to protect him better, because he is already berating himself as it without Reborn's added help. Or perhaps it is because he somehow feels this outcome was inevitable, that no matter what this would've happened. Regardless he is still furious that this happened.

After all he promised Nana he would watch over the boy.

After all he promised Tsuna.

"I'll be right over." Reborn knows he kept his voice level this time but apparently his anger is obvious if Skull's whimpering form is anything to go by. "Skull tell Lal she is in charge until I return"

"Sure thing Reborn!" He can't even bring himself to bother Skull about calling him Reborn again, he is much too angry, because he's failed. Failed a boy who regards him like a father, a boy he freely admits to regarding like a son.

Reborn guesses the aura around him must be intimidating or scary because even though he is managing to keep a calm pace and face everyone around him seems tense. As he walks by them their gazes remained trained on the task before them, even if nothing lies before them. He sighs, running a hand through his hair hoping to calm some of the frustration bubbling inside of him.

He scowls as his hat almost falls since he forgot he was wearing it.

He glares at the air in front of him because he is never this clumsy or absent-minded.

He frowns because he knows this air of unease won't be leaving any time soon.

With a disapproving noise Reborn finally exits the building, what is usually less than a minute walk felt like forever to him. In fact right now everything seems to be moving to slow. It felt like hours until he reached his car, days until it finally started moving, months until the destination could finally be seen in the far off distance.

With a growl he slams on the gas pedal, willing with all his might for this damned car to go even the slightest bit faster. If only so he can shake off this feeling of everything moving three steps to slow. Because it's either he slows down or it speeds up, and Reborn definitely isn't slowing down.

~o~

Hibari Kyoya prides himself on the ability to keep a calm, stoic expression even at the most hectic of times. But right now he's barely able to retrain himself from lashing out at the nearest object, or person, let alone keep a straight face.

So with a scowl, definitely not a frown because it's not like he's upset or worried, he stalks down the hall dark aura keeping everyone a good distance away; well farther than normal. He pays them no mind, obviously nothing is different; why would it be? It is not like he's angry at himself for failing. That thought is ridiculous.

No, he does not feel anything, for emotions are for the weak and he is not weak. He is strong, though the strong do not fail. His mouth twitches and he is firm on believing he is not frowning, he is firm on believing his brows are not furrowed with what is definitely not concern. For of course he has nothing to be concerned about.

The image of a small smiling brunet flashes through his mind and he lets out a deep exhale before he snaps.

Still though he is not worried he refuses to be. He is definitely not in denial. Stupid herbivorous emotions those are, and he is neither stupid nor a herbivore. He nearly scoffs at the thought.

His scowl twists into an almost smirk before settling back down into the scowl, he hears someone gulp loudly before quickly running past him. He does not make any motion to move as the boy passes him, no glare, no threat, he had broken a rule and yet Hibari could not bring himself to do something, anything. So when he passes a group of girls chattering to loud he does not say a word. When he notices two boys hunched over a high-tech phone his arm does not make even a twitch towards his tonfa. When he sees all these students breaking all these rules he does absolutely nothing because he simply does not care.

For the first time in his life these rules are not important nor is this school, his precious nami-chu.

All because of that dumb, useless, innocent, to kind for his own good brunet.

The first person to not look at him in fear or pity or admiration; the first person to actually look at him.

A boy who knows the strength he is capable of but does not scurry away in fright. Who does not stay because it would be safer or because he just wants to be stay close to someone so great. Who stays because he likes him, because he wants to be his friend.

And through all that disappointment he is feeling he smiles. The scowl dissolves from his face and turns into the smallest of smiles practically invisible to anyone who would look at him but he knows and that's all that matters.

He wonders when he got so attached to the small boy. Wonders how a small useless herbivore could so easily slide his way into his heart without the prefect even noticing, and Hibari prides himself on his keen observation skills.

He realises it was probably around the point he didn't push him away, the boy who looked scared but would not back down. He found the weaker boy charming, a determination in him that so rarely lit up but when it did was a forced to be reckoned with. He accepted him with open arms, even if he didn't realise it at the time.

This boy, this herbivore, Tsuna, wormed his way into his heart, became part of the pride he strives to protect. And the Hibari name be damned should he once again fail to protect something so precious.

"Hibari~ Hibari~" He subtly turns his head towards the sound, the slight musical lilt the voice carries calming him down the slightest bit.

"Yes?" He replies palm held out as the small bird lands on it, beady eyes looking up.

"Reborn! Carnivore!" the bird tweets and in return he gives it the smallest of nods. Hibird, knowing his job is done, floats up and away tweeting a random tune. Hibari watches the bird go for a awhile before turning and heading towards the entrance.

The carnivore was here and he would have to properly explain the situation. Perhaps he should find the Sasagawa girl and have her help; she had been the first to hear him and had seen him before it after all.

~o~

Kyoko considered herself a confident girl, sure she could be a bit dense at times but she was definitely confident. Even so, even she could feel the tense aura emanating from both the men in the room with her. She shifted awkwardly; she was concerned for Tsuna that was sure but these two! She was darn right sure they would kill someone if it meant getting him back. Though as much as the idea repulsed her she wasn't entirely sure she would be against it. She unconsciously shuddered as she remembered that man, she could not see the man's eyes, they were covered by his long hood, but through them she could feel his ice cold glare. A glare that was directed at them and only them; not Tsuna.

Her large hazel eyes narrowed and she gripped her skirt tightly. She was scared, no, she was terrified right now, but she would be strong! Strong for Tsuna-kun, strong for Hibari-san and strong for Reborn-san, who she had heard many wonderful things about from Tsuna-kun.

"Sasagawa" She looked up to see Hibari's steel blue eyes staring at her.

"Please Hibari-san, call me Kyoko!" She saw the slightest lift in the prefect's eyebrow and she stifled a giggle.

"Right then, Kyoko-san" She noticed that the prefix was an afterthought, he was probably unused to referring to people by their first name and she smiled softly as she realized as tough and cold as Hibari acted he was an extremely respectful person. She could see why Tsuna cared for him so; he was probably a very kind and caring person behind that stoic face of his.

"You came looking for me, you said you heard a scream that sounded like Tsuna," he paused and Kyoko realized he was waiting for a confirmation; she quickly nodded. "Where were you that you could hear it?"

"I was just up the hall! I had finished talking to Tsuna-kun and he continued on his way to the washroom. I had stood there for awhile lost in thought and just as I turned to leave I heard a yell. I was so sure I had imagined it! It was so scared so of course it had to be, but before I could really be sure again Tsuna-kun... yelled... he yelled at someone to 'leave him alone', he, he sounded so frightened!" Tears filled her eyes but she refused to let them fall, she had promised herself she would be strong! "And then I got scared and I thought about running to him but I was so sure I couldn't do anything so I ran to find someone, anyone, but maybe if I had Tsuna-kun would still be here and not, not, with him." Her body trembled slightly and she bit her lip as if hoping the action would calm her down.

It did not.

"If I had run after I heard that first scream maybe we would've gotten there sooner, m-maybe if-"

"What if's never lead to good places herbivore." She unconsciously gnawed at her lip, the only form of release she would allow when it came to her feelings. "Besides..." He trailed off for a moment and she knew it was because he did not like speaking so much and not because he was unsure of what to say. "because of you we know right away this happened, there will be no pointless searching or confusion, his location may be unknown but we have a place to start."

Her eyes glimmered with unshed tears, her gnawing had finally broken the skin and a small bubble of blood blossomed on her lip, she frowned a bit at the metallic taste in her mouth. A hand set its self on her shoulder and she looked up to see Reborn, his eyes soft as he looked at her.

"It's alright to cry you know?" The words seemed to be like a spell, a spell that removed the determination, the will, to show weakness.

The tears flowed from her eyes but she did not weep, she did not make a sound, tears ran down her face and clouded her vision but still she smiled. She was unsure why but she did, perhaps some part inside of her knew all this would be okay.

And as she cried not one sound was made by the other two occupants of the room, Reborn had not moved his hand from her shoulder but he had taken a seat beside her. Hibari was nowhere to be seen and Kyoko wondered where he was and when he had left. He quickly returned a small plate with a cup of tea on it, Kyoko graciously took it. Hibari turned his gaze to Reborn who shook his head, Hibari nodded and sat back down in his seat across from her.

"Thank you Hibari-san" The other merely nodded.

Her tears had finally calmed and with a shaky breath she brought the tea to her mouth, the scent calming her frazzled nerves. A small content sigh escaped her lips as she took a sip, the tea was delicious! Some of the best she had ever had. Her face turned bright red though as she noticed the amused look in Hibari's eyes. She idly wondered if it was he who made it.

~o~

"Ne, Gokudera?" the bomber looks irritably at the black haired youth before him though he does not say anything, simply nodding in response. "Do you feel it?" another nod. "Tsuna he... he sure gets into trouble a lot doesn't he?" He tries to smile and joke but the bomber can easily see through it.

Gokudera nods tiredly; his boss, his precious Juudaime, was not here. Kyoko had come in a few minutes late and quickly handed off a note to the teacher who nodded as he read. "So Sawada went home sick?" the teacher had said, Kyoko had nodded but he noticed the uncertainty in it.

He had wanted to grab her and make her tell him the truth, why his boss wasn't here, why he hadn't told them he was leaving. Why she seemed suddenly duller. He had no idea why he hadn't just done it right away, by the time he had finished sorting through his thoughts the girl was called down to the office and she quickly, almost too quickly as if she knew something more, dashed out head held high.

So here he sat, a horrible feeling in his stomach (1), one he now knew Yammamoto felt as well, itching to just jump up and run to the girl.

He quickly wondered why he hadn't; it was not like the teacher could hold him back. He nearly slapped himself at his own stupidity. Seriously! For a confirmed genius who could be absolutely idiotic at times.

So he stood and quickly walked out of class ignoring the teacher's shouts for him to return, a pair of footsteps fell in time with his and he did not need to look back to know whose they were.

"Are we going to go to where Kyoko-chan is?" Yammamoto asked and again the only response he could give was a nod. He felt too sick to do anything else.

"It really hurts doesn't it?" Another nod. "How odd you know! It's like we have a little Tsuna detector in us, always knowing when he's in trouble but..." he trailed off and Gokudera knew why. Years of being with Tsuna had developed this strange connection to him, they could feel when he was in danger, being bullied or something of the sort. A small twinge in the stomach that tugged at them, urged them to find something, something that was someone precious to them, someone who was Tsuna.

This time was different though, it was not a small twinge, it felt like being punched in the stomach. An eternal moment of that first moment of contact, when the pain first strikes you. And Gokudera knew it was an ill omen, such intense pain that made his heart throb because he knew something was wrong. It rendered the usually over emotional and quick to bite bomber speechless, and it infuriated him.

He wanted to yell to scream he wanted to know why he felt this way. Yet his voice would not leave him, he was forced down to mere nods, words stuck in his throat dying to come out.

He bit the inside of his cheek feeling as though the disciplinary committee had never felt so far away. The usually never still, always talking, youth beside him had not said a word since his earlier musings and Gokudera knew he felt just as frustrated as he did. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Yamamoto's twitching, how he would occasionally twitch his mouth as if to speak before forming it into a straight line once again. He knew he wanted to speak, to somehow ease the uneasy feeling between them but couldn't find the words to say. He knew how the other felt, he couldn't even bring himself to say words let alone find the right ones.

~o~

Yamamoto made a point to smile in all occasions; it eased him, made it easier to breathe when he was stressed out. Right now his trademark smile remained absent from his face, a blank look replacing it. His mouth twitched at yet another failed attempt to place the expression back on his face.

It hurt, his heart that was, he knew Tsuna was in danger, and he couldn't stand knowing that and doing nothing. Yet, what could he do? He didn't know the situation or why Tsuna was in trouble. He just knew he was.

He did not like this feeling, this feeling of just knowing things were wrong, this horrible feeling of despair. In all 15 years of his life he had never felt this way before, a feeling that he couldn't hide behind carefree smiles and joyous laughter. A feeling that gnawed at his being.

A frowned finally settled on his features, not the expression he was hoping for, but an expression at least. He turned his head towards Gokudera who gazed steadily ahead; he just wanted to reach the damned office already! If only so maybe he could lessen the aching he felt. So maybe he could hear someone say Tsuna was fine and he was just overreacting.

Even he knew that though was delusional.

Still though he could have hope.

... Had the trip to the disciplinary committee office always taken so long?

~o~

When they barged into the room they certainly did not expect the site before them, Kyoko was sitting drinking a cup of tea calmly, well somewhat calmly, her slight shaking as she lifted the cup to her lips was noticeable even from here. Still though she sat there as calm as possible intently listening to the hushed conversation of the other two occupants of the room. Two who were far too quiet for either of them to hear, though they seemed rather engrossed in their conversation.

Gokudera opened his mouth to attempt to speak but Yamamoto beat him to it. "Where's Tsuna?" His voice sounded tired and it held a slight edge that usually wasn't, if ever, there.

All three occupants turned to look at them and the quickly noticed that Kyoko had put her cup of tea down and was gripping her skirt tightly.

The feeling in their stomachs worsened.

Kyoko made eye contact for a second but quickly averted her gaze down into her lap, Hibari looked away with scowl and a hint of, was that disappointment, It couldn't be flashed in his eyes. That left Reborn whose gaze remained level with theirs although he seemed a bit strained as his eyes bored into the two males.

His eyes narrowed and his voice had a bitter taste to it when he spoke; "Baka-Tsuna's been kidnapped." He spat the words with disgust as if it was an annoyance, a problem, enraging, to say them.

And that simple four sentence word made everything make sense for the pair, even if at the same time made everything so, so much more confusing and painful.

Yamamoto's shoulders sagged as if a sudden weight had been dropped on him. His lip twitched through not a word escaped his lips. Gokudera however stood stock still eyes staring forward but seeing nothing, a shuddering breath escapes his lips and his form seemed to crump in on itself, arms gripping his sides as if it was the only thing keeping him standing. Yamamoto's rests his hand on Gokudera not knowing what to do but wanting to offer even the simplest forms of comfort.

He knows the severity of the situation and offhandedly wishes that Gokudera would slap his hand away and shout obscenities at him. Tell him to get his filthy hands off of him and respect the fact he didn't want his being tarnished with Yamamoto's simplistic idiotic self. If only so he can find a sense of normalcy in this situation, something to grasp at to tell him how to feel, how to act. Because right now he has never felt more confused or lost.

"...What are we going to do?" Gokudera's voice comes out as almost a whisper, not holding any of its usual vigor and bite.

"Find him of course." Hibari practically scoffs what else would they do?

A mute nod is the response of the other.

"So don't worry Gokudera-kun we are going to get Tsuna-kun back before anyone can do anything!" Kyoko's soft voice rings through the room, tone full of conviction of the words she just spoke. She is confident Tsuna will be brought back, confident the small boy will be home soon enough.

Still even with her words of comfort the room is filled with anything but calm.

~o~

And somewhere not so far away a little piece of the brunet's sanity fell away.

Form shaking as voices in his whispered his name continuously with various emotions.

'Anyone... please h-'"Help me..."

Words: 3,952

(1)- While writing this chapter i forgot this was an au where the mafia doesn't exist! I had meant for their roles as guardians to be the reason they could feel the problem but I had already typed it up and had the idea in my head before remembering. So I didn't change it! And to be honest though a bit odd i think it's still plausible. Byakuran showed us multiple, millions, of time lines exist and i'd like to believe in almost all, if not all, these three are eternal friends, so i think this bond comes from a strong attachment that transcends time and space.

(2)- (and before you fret there is no two i couldn't find the right place to put it since i kind of just mean this chapter as a whole) I wanted to talk about this chapter and some things i can't exactly pinpoint in the chapter but still want to talk about.

Hibari's part! There are so many italicized words and there is a reason for it but i can't for the life of me remember it! And after his part I just needed to continue so it happens for the rest of the chapter just less prominent.

Kyoko; now before anyone be telling me shit about her or how i wrote her i want to say i like the way i did it. Kyoko is strong by her own definition of the word and though I don't think i did the greatest job of displaying it i really wanted to show it. Of course she is a bit naive and mistakes what strength is at times; tis my take.

Gokudera; now i really think some of you might think how Gokudera reacted is a bit ooc? And my main reason for straying from what might have been perhaps a more accurate take on this is the fact that this is an au. There is no mafia, well there is but Gokudera has no part on it, so this is not something he is used to. Violence, pain, suffering, he knows those by his own right yet not to the extremes he would have seen in the manga. And as such while his personality is the same i don't believe he'd react to such acts the same!

He found out his best friend, someone who he cares about, who he deems precious, is gone! Taken! And he has no way of getting him back because he, unlike in the manga, has no knowledge of the darker side of the world. That is not to say Gokudera is weak, though he is not able to use dynamite (i mean seriously now think logically children) he is still proficient with a bow and hand to hand combat. I am sure if that will actually come to play but it's worth mentioning.

And the chapter as a whole

Perhaps you were expecting something else! Like continuing with Tsuna, but I just wanted to show everyone else before we went back to that, though i did give you all a little glimpse of poor little tsuna. Also this chapter is the definition of what the fuck do i even make a plot line for. This chapter was just supposed to be Hibari and Reborn's part and then them talking. But then Hibari mentioned Kyoko and i thought it would be fun to write about her, and then i realized i hadn't mention Yamamoto and Gokudera at all and i was like umm? No. This chapter practically wrote itself and i really do mean that. I really had nothing planned except for a really vague skeleton, so i am pretty proud it isn't shit.

Nat: But yea! Been under two weeks since i started this chapter (It'll be two weeks since my birthday tomorrow and i started this chapter about four days after soo whoo!) it would've been up sooner but even though i managed to finish them in under two weeks (practically one really) i still procrastinated so much on this. I wrote most of this yesterday and today.

But ye it's been far too long since i updated this and now i finally have! Go me.

Future Update Schedule:

Kind of in the mood to write another thing for that kh fic

8KAHNC

TSMYAMY

I really want to get the next chap of 8KAHNC up but it's hard... writing this chapter has at least put me in a writing mood and further more reignited my passion for khr writing

Till next time thank you for reading

AND TO ALL PAST READERS WHO ARE HERE AGAIN WOW I AM SO SORRY AND HOPE YOU STICK AROUND