A/N: I hope I'm not losing you in details or you think this is dragging on. It will pick up...I hope. LOL
"Don't Jack. You don't want this. Come on," Tony said as he opened the door.
Jack narrowed his eyes and followed him out.
"Go on and check out with security. I have to talk to Michelle for a minute but I'll be right behind you."
Jack looked over at Michelle and caught the worried look on her face. "Yeah," he said and headed off toward the exit.
Tony willed his heart to return to its normal pace.
"Did you get the paperwork?" he asked when he reached Michelle's desk.
"HR is backed up. They said it would have it by the end of the day though." She lowered her voice, "Tony, what's going on? Jack looks like hell and you don't look much better."
"I'm fine, just tired. Look, we have to go over to Division for a meeting. Can you handle things while I'm gone?"
"Yeah, but what meeting? I didn't see one scheduled for you today."
"It just came up. It shouldn't take too long. I'll be back before you know it."
He hated to lie to her like that. He himself wasn't sure what was going on and he certainly couldn't explain it to anyone.
He checked out with security and left the building.
Tony found Jack squatted down and leaning on the back tire of his SUV, his arms wrapped around his waist and eyes squeezed shut. He hunched down next to him and put his hand on his shoulder, "Hey, come on. Let's get your stuff and go." Jack nodded as he opened his eyes and took a deep breath. Tony helped him up and waited while he got what he needed from the vehicle. They walked to his car in silence.
"Are you sure this is your car?" Jack teased as he opened the passenger door and got in. In stark contrast to what it had been before, the car was immaculate. Not one fast food wrapper or empty water bottle was on the passenger seat or floor board.
"Heh, yeah. Different, huh?"
"Yeah. She's good for you."
"She is.", he said as he started the car.
"So, where are we going?" Tony asked as they pulled out of the CTU lot.
"There's a park about 5 blocks up and to the right. It's pretty quiet there."
They rode the short distance in silence. Tony pulled the car into a parking space by an empty shelter away from the few other people who were there.
"Why don't you go for a walk?" Jack said. It was more of a request than a suggestion.
"No, I'd prefer to stay. You go ahead and do what you need to do."
"I don't want to do this in front of you, so will you please go?"
"Jack, I got you into this…"
"No, you didn't," Jack interrupted. "This was my decision, not yours."
"Maybe, but I feel responsible. You need to know you aren't alone in this."
"You won't be with me in Mexico, will you? I will be alone there and I'd like to be alone now. Ten minutes, please."
"Fine." Tony got out of the car and walked away.
At the fifteen minute mark, Tony walked back to the car. Jack was reclined in the passenger seat, his paraphernalia spread out on the middle console for anyone to see if they so chose to look in the window.
"Jack! Wake up!" Tony shook him. "You can't leave this stuff out in plain sight. Get it together, man. What if someone walked by?"
Jack slowly opened his eyes and looked over at Tony. He saw him putting the needle and vial back in his kit. Jack grabbed his wrist and bent it backward causing him to drop the kit. "Don't touch it." The words came out as a warning.
"You had better make sure you get everything. I don't want Michelle to find anything in here." Tony pulled away, slammed the car door and walked back to the shelter.
"Damn it." Jack muttered under his breath. Tony was doing nothing but trying to be a friend and he was acting like an ass. He put everything back in the kit and got out of the car.
Jack sat down next to Tony on the picnic bench.
"How's your wrist?"
"It's not broken."
"Good. Sorry about that."
"Yeah."
After a couple of minutes Tony said, "I've been thinking. I want you to take a leave of absence, starting today until you go undercover."
"I can't. There is too much left to be done in preparation for this op."
"Gael and I can handle it. If there is any new information, I'll pass it along to you. You can tap into the files from your laptop. If we need you in a meeting, I can conference you in. You need this time to take care of things at home before you go."
"What things, Tony?" Jack was getting irritated. "Kim can take care of herself – it's not like she lives with me."
Tony sighed. "I can't have a repeat of today, or the past several days. Your mood swings have everyone on edge, and yes, I now know why, but I can't very well use that to justify it to the others in the office. I need them to concentrate on the tasks at hand instead of worrying that you'll come stomping in like a troll and berate them for things that aren't their fault."
"If they'd do their jobs right in the first place..."
Tony cut him off. "Everyone excels at their jobs, Jack. Now this is a request, but if necessary, I can get Chappelle to make it an order. Your choice."
They sat in silence for several minutes.
"You haven't given me much of a choice. Let's go." Jack got up and headed for the car.
Tony tapped on the door to Jack's office as he pushed it open. "I brought the forms you need to sign. Need any help?"
Jack was putting together the files he needed to take home. "I got it."
He took the papers from him and sat at his desk. After skimming through them, he signed and dated the last page. "Here," he said handing them back to Tony.
"Thanks. Look Jack, I'm sorry."
"Don't be. You are doing what you have to, as am I. It's OK. I am leaving for the ranch a week from today. You and Gael better make sure you have everything together."
"A week from today? You can't just push things up like that. We've got everything on track for two weeks out."
"Then you better step it up because I'm leaving next Thursday." Jack got up and grabbed his briefcase.
"Look, I know you're pissed off but that is no reason to jeopardize this whole thing."
"You have no idea what I am feeling right now," he said as he put the files in his case.
"Then why don't you tell me, because I am tired of playing this game."
"That's just it. It's not a game, not to me," Jack said, his jaw clenched. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going home." He picked up his briefcase and walked out of the office, leaving Tony standing there, bewildered.
"So, how'd did Jack take going on leave?" Michelle asked, taking a sip from her glass of wine.
She and Tony had decided on Italian for dinner and were enjoying authentic cuisine in a cozy little restaurant they had discovered a few weeks ago.
"He had no choice. I told him either he took the suggestion or I would have Chappelle order it."
"Bet that didn't go over well."
"No, no it didn't. But what else could I do? He was getting out of control. He couldn't even focus at the meeting today."
"The one at Division?" Michelle asked. She had called to confirm the meeting since she hadn't gotten a bulletin on it, so she knew there was no meeting.
"No, the one with me and Gael," Tony said "It was like he wasn't even in the same room with us and when it was over, he bolted."
"So he was OK at the meeting with Division?" Michelle was baiting.
"There was no meeting at Division," Tony confessed. "That was a lie"
"I know."
"I'm sorry, Michelle. I needed to help Jack with something and I couldn't tell you what. Still can't."
"That's fine Tony. But don't lie to me. Just say you have to go out or something. I know there are things you two do that I can't know about, but don't out right lie to me. It puts me in a bad situation. What if Division had called for you? How would I have responded?"
"I know. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."
"Better not."
"It won't. I promise," he said, taking her hand. "You're amazing, you know that, right?"
"Yeah and you better know it too," she said with a twinkle in her eyes. "Just because you're cute doesn't mean I won't hesitate to throw you to wolves if you do something like that again."
He smiled, leaned over the table and kissed her.
They continued their meal and the conversation lagged. Tony was lost in his thoughts, replaying the day's events.
"You're worried about him, aren't you?"
"Yeah, I am."
"Did it ever occur to you that he might be scared?"
"Jack isn't afraid of anything except maybe losing Kim, but she seems to have calmed down some in the past few months."
"Maybe, but I think he puts up a front most of the time. He's a human being, Tony. Not a machine."
.Maybe Michelle was right. Maybe Jack was scared. The thought really never occurred to him until she said it out loud. "That might be reasoning behind some his actions and reactions in the past 24 hours," Tony thought. "What if that kiss this morning was his way of reaching out to me and I dismissed him?"
As he looked across the table and marveled at Michelle's beauty, his guilt was compounded as the urge to leave her and go to Jack became stronger.