Disclaimer: All rights and licensing to these characters belongs to Rick Riordan and his likeness

Chapter 4

"How could you understand? It's not like you're depressed or anything, you're mister "Happy all the time."

"Well to tell you the truth I suffer from depression."

At that moment all the humor drained from my face, this was serious. "I probably know more than you realize." A look of surprise came over her, as if she was scared of me.

She grabbed rapidly at her things, trying to get away from me as fast as possible. As she was reaching out, her sleeve rolled up just enough to reveal her bare wrist, and the five thin lines that resided on it. In that instant I knew exactly what was going on with her.

"Please, I can't do this anymore… I have to go-

Before she could get away my hand reached out and grabbed her wrist. I pulled up her sleeve to reveal the scars. "I….I can explain those," she stammered.

I said nothing. I simply stared at her and pulled up the sleeve on my wrist. There sat my own scars, five thin lines.

She said nothing, only stared in amazement at what had just transpired.

"Please stay," I whispered

She sat back down across from me. A moment passed of utter silence as both of us were trying to process what had just transpired. After a moment she finally spoke; "Why'd you do it?" she asked.

I looked down at the table, unable to even glance in her eyes. "It's a long story. It started sophomore year when I met my first girlfriend, Zoe. I had been going through a rough year, a close relative of mine died, I had to transfer schools, and most of my friends really didn't care about me. Then a close friend introduced me to her. We immediately hit it off. It wasn't long before we went on a date. It was the first time someone showed any interest in me, and I couldn't believe it. She ended up being my first kiss. Then I found out she was interested in my friend…. Clarisse. It turns out she was just using me to get my first kiss.

It wasn't long after that I was diagnosed with depression.

Junior year I ended up falling for my friend Calypso. She sat behind me in math, and we got close. I ended up taking her to prom. I had such a great time with her that I asked her out on a date. We became a couple soon after. The time I spent with her was the happiest in my life. And then she broke my heart. She told me she only saw me as friend and really didn't want to be my girlfriend. I was crushed and feel into a deep depression after that.

It took me until my senior year to get over her. After that I pushed all my romantic thoughts aside and focused on getting to college.

Freshman year I met Rachel, she was my last straw. It was the first weekend I had spent on campus. I was in the dining hall with some friends when she asked to sit with us to avoid a guy who had been following her. She was absolutely beautiful, and I was captivated.

One weekend I asked her if she wanted to go to the beach, and she agreed but wanted to see if other people would come. So I asked one friend and he brought his roommate. We hung out for a bit, talked, and snacked.

That was my mistake.

I asked her out the following Friday. And she said she needed time to think about it. I found out the following Monday that she hooked up with my friend's roommate that night. Needless to say it was a "no."

That pushed me over the edge. I did two things that night: I started cutting, and I wrote out my suicide note. I was sick and tired of feeling sorry for myself. All I wanted was to have someone that would make me happy, but I only opened myself up to heartache. Rachel only added to the cumulated whole in my heart. That night I sat in my room with my knife, just making cuts, hoping that the pain in my wrist would distract me from my problems. Except all I could think about was her."

Another moment of silence passed, she was just processing what I just said.

"….I wrote a suicide note too."

"Really?"

"I don't usually like to talk about it, but since you seem to understand"

"It started when I was a kid, maybe about five or six. My parents barely paid any attention to me. I wasn't making any friends at school. Really no one gave two shits about me. I didn't realize until middle school that I had clinical depression, but at that point it really didn't matter. My mom finally took me to a doctor, and he prescribed me with anti-depressants. I took them for about a week, and things were fine, but I didn't feel right. After that I stopped taking them and just kept living with it. High school was when I met Luke. He was everything I wanted; smart, athletic, caring, and apparently liked me, or at least that was the rumor I heard. He asked me out and I said yes because I was naive enough to think someone would like me.

I went on a date with him, one thing led to another, and I ended up giving him my virginity. I trusted him, so I let my guard down, and he took advantage of that. After that he pretended to not know me. I found out later that he bragged about it to his friends. To him I was just a "good lay." After that I had enough, so I promised myself not to open my heart to anyone ever again.

The night I found out, I fell into one of my depressed states. That's when I started cutting.

I had had it with my pathetic life. I went far enough that I wrote out a suicide note. I had a whole plan and everything. I don't know why, but I never had the guts to actually go through with it. So I went on with my life, made it to college, and met you."

"Have you ever tried seeking help for your depression" I asked

"No" she responded

"Why not?"

"I learned early on you can't trust people to be there for you. I prefer to keep myself closed off."

That struck a chord with me. Like me she's been suffering in silence this entire time. She's been alone in this since she was 5.

"What if you found someone you could trust?"

"Well that would make things easier"

"You can trust me"

"I know…..would you want to go back to my room, Thalia won't be back until Monday, and I have the room all weekend"

"I'd like that"

I'm not going to lie, I expected that to go much differently. I was not expecting to have a heat-to-heart like that. But hey life goes in all directions…..I guess.