She and Amy had talked for a couple of hours, but when Sinead saw her cousin's exhaustion come back she faked a yawn and told Amy that she felt like she could sleep. It was a lie, she only drifted for about an hour total the entire night, but she felt better knowing that Amy got some rest.
Of course her body felt tired and slightly beat up, but a hot shower and fresh makeup hopefully made her look better than she felt.
It was about six-thirty when they made it back to the waiting area. Sinead had already contacted her parents to check on Ned, only to hear that he was in the final stage of the surgery. She wasn't sure how to feel about that, but her mom assured her that it was probably a good thing.
I guess we will find out soon enough, Sinead thought as she and Amy stepped through the door.
As soon as they were in she realized that everyone was awake and bustling about the room. There were even smiles on some faces, and then Sinead noticed the new people in the room.
Ian and Natalie were both sitting on one of the couches, and stood when they saw the girls enter.
"Amy, Sinead"—Natalie's brown eyes were sympathetic—"How are you?"
Amy was the one who answered. "About as well as we can be."
She walked up to them first, hugging Natalie and then kissing Ian.
Sinead smiled at the display of affection, genuinely happy for her cousin, but was cut off with a hug from Natalie.
"Sinead, I'm so sorry we're just now here. Our flight was delayed slightly."
"It's fine," she assured the girl, a little startled at the hug, but touched by it. Directing her smile to include both Kabras, she added, "It was really sweet that you guys came"
"I'm slightly surprised to see Jonah here," Ian commented, gesturing towards the wall, where Sinead saw that the star was huddled against.
She hadn't seen him at first, which was a surprise since his jacket—covering his head—was so bright. He was obviously sleeping though, and she wondered how he could sleep with all of the noise surrounding him.
"Yeah, we were too," Amy said, and Sinead's eyes darted to her cousin.
But she didn't call her out on the lie, instead walking a few steps over to her parents.
"Any news?" she asked hopefully.
"Nothing about Ned," her dad answered, then threw a look at his wife. "But there was something that was slightly strange."
"One of the nurse aids came in and asked to talk to me and your father," her mom explained. "Someone routed all of the bills from this to their personal account."
It took a moment for the words to sink in.
"What?" Sinead said dumbly.
"Yes it's odd," her dad admitted. "The nurse was flustered when we were confused and then just said that it was someone here. She wouldn't say anything else due to the confidentiality factor. We asked everyone here but they acted like they didn't know anything either."
"Well," her mom cut in, a small smile on her face. "We asked everyone that was awake."
Sinead's heart sank, even as her brain struggled to make sense of it. She stepped closer to her parents and said in a low tone, "There's no way it could be Jonah."
But her parents held her gaze, her dad's eyebrows raised. "I don't know," he said. "He seems to be very concerned with everything going on with Ned. And about you."
At that she flinched and stepped back a little. Her parents thought something was going on between her and Jonah?
"That's ridiculous." Her voice sounded weak, even to her own ears. "We can't stand each other."
They exchanged glances again, but Sinead ignored it, changing the subject.
"How did you guys sleep?" she blurted out, then regretted asking. They were sure to ask her the same thing now.
Sure enough, they admitted that they had only slept a little bit, and then asked her in turn.
"We hope that you got some rest honey." Her mom's eyes glinted with humor. "And I'm sure Jonah would be glad to hear about it too."
Sinead couldn't help her tone as she replied, "I actually barely slept at all last night. I'm sorry that all of your convincing didn't help."
She was going to say more, but Jonah rolling over suddenly caught her vision. Caught off-guard, she watched him pull his jacket down, let out a yawn, and pop his eyes open.
They were lined with sleepiness, and the disoriented look on his face was cute. Her heart quickened, and she wanted to slap herself for thinking that anything he did was 'cute'.
She glared at him to cover it up and was about to turn back to her mom when Jonah met her eyes. And then to her amazement he glared back at her, rolled his eyes, and resumed his prior position, retreating back into his jacket.
"Well," she snapped, a bit put out. "Did I interrupt someone's beauty sleep?"
No answer.
The few that were in hearing distance chuckled, but Sinead failed to see the humor. Instead, she turned back to her mom and said quietly, "Maybe it was the Kabras but they don't want to admit it."
She knew though, deep inside of her, that it had been Jonah. And the idea that he decided to just go ahead and take the bills upon himself made her blood boil.
There were only a handful of reasons why he would do something like that. First, to show off. Even though he obviously didn't tell anyone, he had to know that at least she would know it was him. Or it was a power play, something to show her that he was in control. Ever since that night at the party that was all their relationship was, a play for power over the other. Another option could be that he pitied Ned, her family, or all of them—something that didn't sit very well with her either.
She kept silent as Jonah decided to come alive again and he and Natalie exchanged a few words, not trusting herself to even look at him as she debated how to handle this.
This had to stop. She was done with pretending that he wasn't here, done ignoring him and his stupid motives. Didn't he get that she didn't need this right now? That she had enough on her plate to deal with?
Exhaustion fell back over her, but she fought it off, determination overpowering it. She vaguely heard Jonah ask what time it was and Amy respond, but nothing really stuck until her mom spoke up.
"One of the nurse aids said something a little strange though." Sinead watched as Jonah, who was apparently on his way to the bathroom, stopped and met her mom's eyes without flinching. Her mom was keeping her tone casual too, "Apparently someone routed all of the bills from all of this to their personal account. Along with any additional costs that come up. You don't know anything about that do you?"
Jonah didn't even change facial expressions, didn't even blink as he lied right through his teeth. "Nope. Wow, that's cool though."
If she hadn't been so pissed, Sinead would have laughed at the 'yeah right' look her mom was giving the celebrity. But then she relaxed and shrugged her shoulders. "Huh, well I guess we will never know then. You're the last person I've asked."
"I guess not."
And then he resumed his walk to the bathroom like he didn't have a care in the world. And Sinead barely checked her anger. The fact that he could just lie like that burned her.
And you're an idiot for still being attracted to him, and for having feelings for him. You're such an IDIOT, she told herself, feeling a twinge of self-loathing.
She would have berated herself some more but Dr. Aldridge came through the door, his face composed.
"Can I talk to you and your husband?" he asked, addressing her mother.
They immediately agreed, and Sinead saw the hopefulness and fear mixed on their faces. She hoped with all of her heart that it was good news.
It was silent in the room after they left, and Sinead turned her attention back to the bathroom door. Everyone else had sat down, and she caught them eyeing her warily. It was then that she realized she was so angry she was shaking, emotions coursing through her. Maybe she should have been thinking about Ned, but she was actually glad to have something else to focus on now, to distract her.
Jonah has no idea what's waiting for him when he comes out, she thought through her ire. If he thinks that he is going to go another hour with his stupid games then he's crazy.
At that moment the door opened, and she didn't even wait for him to fully step through it before she bit out, "What in the heck were you thinking?"
His mouth dropped open a little, but she kept her gaze on him as he looked around the room.
"Where are your parents?" he asked, like he really wanted to know.
"The doctors wanted to talk to them alone." She crossed her arms in front of her. "Now answer my question."
Jonah still seemed thrown off, and he didn't really meet her eyes as he gave her the lousiest response she had ever heard come out of his mouth. "Um, I was thinkin' that I need to go buy clothes. And I got no idea what you're—"
"That won't work with me Jonah."
Something flashed across his face at her words. Sinead couldn't place it, but she didn't care either. It was time to get to the bottom of this. She would go crazy if she didn't. "I know you paid for it. And I want to know why. I'm tired of trying to figure out what you're playing at here—"
"Playing at?" he answered, but she didn't let him finish.
"The woman said it was someone here," she said, wanting him to know that he couldn't deny it. "And you're the only one with enough money to do something like that, except for the Kabras who weren't here yet."
She saw him flinch and also saw the second he decided to split, but she moved just as he tried to walk around her, forcing him back. Of course, if he really wanted to leave he could use physical strength, but she had a feeling he wouldn't try it with curious eyes watching.
His lips tightened, and he crossed his own arms over his chest. "Why does it matter? You don't care, remember?"
It was the first time Jonah hinted about anything to do with their wacky relationship (other than the 'blackmail' comment), and Sinead almost reacted badly. She wanted to throw back in his face that he didn't' care either, that it was just about the sex. But she couldn't in front of everyone.
So instead she got back to the topic, not wanting to reveal too much. "This is different. I don't know if you're here out of some sort of 'feeling of obligation' or what, but I don't need or want you here. And my family doesn't need your charity."
It was mean to say it, but she wanted to force the truth out of him. If she could make him angry enough…
But he was already answering, his facial expression and posture still screaming that none of this was affecting him. "Maybe I just wanted to help 'cause I'm not as bad as you make me out to be."
Sinead couldn't help but snort at that one. She was the one making him out to be a bad person? Jonah once again moved past her, but she let him, not knowing what else to say.
But when she turned and saw him almost to the door, she couldn't help but let out one last jab.
"Yeah right. More like you're 'maybe' feeling the need to come out on top. I mean, you're Jonah freaking Wizard after all, you can't let anyone suspect that you actually don't care about anyone but yourself."
She felt horrible once the words left her mouth, but at the same time, she didn't care. She was just so done with everything right now.
Jonah suddenly turned, not leaving like she thought he would. Sinead could see the fury in his eyes, his composure slipping instantly, but before she had time to react he was speaking.
"And maybe my motive behind everything is due to you. Maybe I'm tired of the way our relationship has been the last five months! Maybe I'm tired of just casual sex whenever you need an outlet!"
Shock poured over her, but she had no time to process anything, because the words kept spilling out of his mouth.
"Maybe I'm tired of you pushing me away 'cause you're scared to let anyone in!" His words hit her square in the chest; she couldn't believe he was voicing what she thought she had kept hidden from him, from everyone, even her own family. But his next words nearly pushed her over the edge, shocking her even more than anything else he had said or done since she had known him. "Maybe I'm in love with you Sinead."
The words were spoken in an almost-whisper, but she heard them as clearly as if he had screamed them at her.
And then, a heavy silence descended in the room, leaving Sinead with no clue what to say or do. But another voice cut in, making her flinch as she had forgotten that she and Jonah weren't alone.
"Maybe you two should go somewhere private and talk about this."
The voice was familiar but she didn't even have the brainpower to place it, she was so thrown-off by Jonah's words.
'Maybe I'm tired of you pushing me away 'cause you're scared to let anyone in!'
Her lips were starting to tremble, she could feel tears start to fill her eyes, but she couldn't move, couldn't think.
'Maybe I'm in love with you Sinead.'
The phrase repeated over and over again in her mind, crashing over her, even as the tiny bit of logic in the back corner of her brain screamed that it wasn't true.
He doesn't mean it, he can't mean it.
But he seemed sincere. In fact, he was staring at her like he was about to come over where she was, all anger having vanished from his face. Gulping in some air, she tried to lift her chin at him, to blink against the torrent of emotion she felt. She didn't know if it worked or not, didn't have time really to know, because the click of the door opening made her automatically move her attention over to it.
Her parents stepped through, and her heart dropped. They weren't smiling or anything, but she lost sight of them as Ted and the rest of the group gathered around them, the noise level going up. It was then that she noticed the doctors that had come in with them, and guilt seeped back through her body.
Ned.
Sinead couldn't believe that in her confusion over Jonah that she had forgotten why her parents had left the room.
Let's go ahead and add 'worst sister ever' to my list of accomplishments in the last 24 hours, she thought numbly, even as she stared at the group for a sign of good news.
"How is he?" Ted demanded, but she could hear the worry in his voice.
Sinead braced herself, prepared herself for the worst, only it didn't come.
"He's just fine." Her mom was beaming though tear-filled eyes and it looked like she was barely holding them in.
One of the doctors was explaining that Ned did extremely well and that they were out of the danger zone, and a lot of other positive things, but Sinead still stood there, frozen.
Then the room erupted in shouts of relief, and Sinead could see both tears and laughter, but it was like she was numb still. Her mother's and the doctor's words rushed over her, but they didn't quite register.
"Sinead honey, why are you over there still?" Dimly, her dad's voice broke through. "Didn't you hear? Ned is going to be okay."
At that reassurance, she almost broke. But something was holding her back, telling her that it wasn't okay yet to be happy, to cry tears of relief like the rest of the group—the group that was now staring at her in stunned disbelief. It was then that Sinead realized she was crying despite her fighting against it, that huge tears were dropping from her eyes, falling down her cheeks.
No. I can't break down. Not in front of everyone.
So she inhaled a sharp breath and turned in the opposite direction, willing herself to get a grip. She just needed a few seconds, then she would be okay. She could be cheerful and happy like the rest of them.
But she wasn't going to get a few seconds, because she saw a figure approaching her.
Jonah. Of course. His facial expression was determined, but she didn't have the energy to figure out what his aim was.
So she just watched him approach, willing herself to push him away again, to spit out again that she didn't need his pity. But she couldn't. It was like she was nailed to the floor, the words 'Ned is going to be okay' pouring over her like water flowing into a thirsty desert.
Jonah moved even closer, then his hand reached out to touch her shoulder. Even though she had been watching him, the contact still made her tense. She felt her body begin to shake and couldn't stop that either, especially as she processed his next word.
"Sweetheart."
Sweetheart.
And suddenly, she didn't care—didn't care that he probably didn't mean it—didn't care that there were other people in the room, like Ted and her parents. She closed her eyes and let out a breath, indecisiveness gripping her.
"Let me hold you."
Before she could stop herself, before her brain could kick in and tell her that this was a bad idea, she gave in, flung herself at him, and nestled her head in his chest. And then she allowed every emotion to let loose.
It all came crashing down.
Ned was okay, and recovering at the moment. She wasn't going to lose her brother. He wasn't going to die.
Jonah was here and just said that he was in love with her. Even if he didn't mean it, he at least cared right? He was acting like he did at least, now cradling her against him like a child, whispering in her ear that he was there and that it was okay to let it all out.
In response she tightened her grip on his shirt, trying to press her head even closer against him. The security that she felt right now was what she needed, and she reveled in it.
She somehow was sitting on his lap now, though she had no idea how they had gotten to the couch. But she could feel Jonah's arms around her, and he was still whispering in her ear, letting a few more terms of endearment out.
And Sinead kept crying, not knowing where all of these emotions were coming from, but at the same time, feeling as if she had held onto them for far too long.
Jonah's voice broke though again, his tone caring. "Sinead baby, calm down. You're gonna get sick."
She tried, but his tone made it worse, the concern in it and in his touch hitting her somewhere deep inside.
Is this what it's like? To have someone that loves you?
But did he? The question sobered her, and the tears fled, leaving her with a million thoughts scattering through her mind. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to go still and tried to get a hold of herself.
Then she moved her head to his neck, wanting to feel his skin against hers for some reason, like it would make him more real right now, since she almost felt like she was in a dream.
"Jonah did—" she paused, hating to ask this question, but she had to know, needed to know. "Did you mean all of that?"
"Yeah."
It was a simple answer, but it was all she needed. Gulping in another breath of air to steady herself, she looked up at him, trying to gauge his sincerity.
He looked a little nervous, but honesty was gleaming in his eyes. "And Ned," she said, bringing up her brother, needing to confirm again that he was okay, that he wasn't lying dead as she spoke. "He's okay."
He's okay.
Again, the relief and shock rushed through her. She was for sure that he wouldn't make it, the procedure seemed so risky hours ago.
Suddenly feeling overwhelmed, she lowered her head back to Jonah's chest, "So tired," was all she could get out. "I can't even think."
Jonah's voice sounded guilty when he answered, his chest rumbling as he spoke, "I'm sorry. Not that I said it, but the timing, I—"
"It's okay," she said, her voice wavering with emotion. "I'm glad you did."
And she meant it with everything inside of her.
"Yeah?"
That's all Jonah said, but she could hear the relief in that one word.
She tried to think of why he would be relieved, but already her brain was fuzzing out on her. The lack of food and sleep, along with the constant stress and worry she had felt the last three days suddenly weighed down on her. Sleepiness nearly crushed her, and Jonah was just so warm right now, so steady.
"I feel like, like I'm going to go to sleep."
Her words that had just slipped out sounded distant—hazy even, like they were coming from a distant person and not from her own mouth.
She felt Jonah shift her into the crook of his shoulder and then his soothing voice washed over her. "Go ahead baby. You've been through a lot in the past couple of hours."
"Okay."
A light brush against her forehead could be felt, almost like a feather gracing her skin, and then she felt another light touch, this one against her cheek. But that was all she registered, sleep finally claiming her.