Chapter 4: Not what you think

"Kaito..." Miku began "I had always liked you but..." Kaito paused, worried. Had Gakupo made a mistake when he told him, and of all the places to get rejected, in the middle of school? This would hurt his reputation too much

"But what?" Kaito asked, but he soon realized what Miku was trying to tell him when he saw Dell coming up behind her

"IS there something wrong Miku?" He asked, putting his arm around her

"No no," Kaito replied, "But I just reminded her we had a test today and she got really worried, that's all"

"Is that so Miku?" Dell said, looking down at her

"Yes" Miku said, trying to cover up what had happened, "It's the first time a test caught me off guard and I'm really stressed"

"Oh its okay then" Dell said "Do you need anything else?"

"No, thank you" Miku said as Kaito turned around and walked away

Len peeked over to see what was going on, he saw Kaito returning with a saddened look on his face.

"Shit..." Len said, turning to Gakupo. Before Kaito could get close though, the bell rang to go to the last period for the day and Kaito just flashed a glare at Gakupo and went to the final class for the day

At the end of the day, Gakupo and Len waiting for Kaito outside, when Kaito was within hearing distance, Gakupo tried to comfort him

"Ok, look man, we all make mistakes and-" but he was interrupted as Kaito punched him while he wasnt expecting it

"Wha...What was that for" Gakupo said, gasping as the punch knocked the wind out of him

"I hate you, you just pretty much ruined so much that I struggled to build up with your smart ass statements because god forbid that you're ever wrong Gakupo, if I have 'friends' like you what the hell do I need enemies for? It's like you were trying to set me up for a failure there, is this what I get from you after so many years of friendship? And on top of all that, its not that I care about Miku that much its that..." but Kaito didnt want to continue the sentence, he wasn't sure what Gakupo would think of him if he finished saying what he began

"What went wrong?" Len asked him

"She has some stupid boyfriend from the other class, that white haired kid" Kaito replied

"Well that...isnt your fault" Gakupo said, recovering from the blow

"Well maybe if you werent so confident you were right I wouldnt be in this position right now" Kaito replied

"Okay, you're right" Gakupo sighed "Nobody's perfect, I ain't the exception"

"It's all gonna be fine, dont worry" Len said patting Kaito on the back but he shook him off.

"You dont understand!" Kaito shouted "You could never understand..."

"Hey, every one gets rejected from time to time" Gakupo said "It's nothing to get so sad about, it happens". Kaito just sat there feeling the tears as they slowly began to run from his eyes down his cheeks, they really had no idea what he felt, he wanted to tell them, but if only he had the courage...

"You know what" Kaito said, "You're right, its nothing to get so worried about, there'll be others"

"That's the spirit!" Len said

"Friends again?" Gakupo asked. Kaito looked up at him and did his best to smile.

"Yeah...friends" Kaito said. Gakupo stretched out his hand and wiped the tears off Kaito's face

"Get those tears off your face" Gakupo said, smiling " You have plans tonight". Kaito smiled as well, holding his hand out as Gakupo grabbed it and helped him up. As he got up, Kaito looked into Gakupo's eyes, for once, they lacked the cocky and confident look that all the women admired...now, they were more understanding...tender even

"Sorry...for punching you" Kaito said, who felt guilty for his reaction. They weren't trying to set him up, maybe it was an honest mistake after all.

"It's no problem" Gakupo said. Kaito heaved a sigh of relief as he felt the burden lifted off him. "Either way, its not like I felt anything" Gakupo joked

"I can punch you again" Kaito replied, lifting his hand up and thrusting it forward stopping it inches before where he had previous punched. Gakupo's eyes widened but then they calmed back down when Kaito pulled his hand back

"That look on your face was priceless" Len said laughing

"Yeah yeah" Gakupo sighed, letting out a small laugh, as he knew the situation must have been funny from another person's point of view.

They kept on walking down the street making jokes and planning on what they would do for the night, Len kept saying the should just pay for the women and get them for the night but Gakupo insisted he should pick them up 'legit'. He said the sex was better when you earned it, rather than paying for it, but Kaito wasn't really listening, despite the conversation being about him, his mind was elsewhere, thinking of something else...

The trio eventually split up and they all went back to their individual houses to get dressed and find a good club to go to. Gakupo agreed to take Kaito to a club that night, and all that Kaito would buy would be on him, to make him feel better about the unfortunate event at school. Kaito returned home and took off his school uniform. He looked through his wardrobe to find something flashy to wear for the night but in the end he sat there and looked at himself in the mirror.

He sat there, without his shirt, looking at the body that women once yearned for, but now, not only was he old news after Gakupo and Len arrived, but now, he wanted something else. He just sat, looking at himself and thinking about his life...everything in general, what had happened, what could happen, but most of all, there was one deep dark secret that he kept which bothered him, a secret that he had been keeping from both of his friends, but from Gakupo especially for the past two years. That was just there, forever there, slowly eating away at him and he knew it as he felt himself getting continueously weaker day by day. Everyone, but especially Gakupo and Len, the people he was closest to had such a wrong idea about who he was. And the fact that he could never even tell them the truth about himself made him feel even worse, how would they feel when he finally told them? Would they feel betrayed? Hurt? Mad? Hateful? All four? They surely had every right to...and Kaito just continued to sit there, time after time again, telling himself 'If only they knew...If only he knew...If only I could tell him..."

Suddenly, Kaito heard his phone ring and looked at the caller ID. It was Gakupo.

"Hey ice cream man, you ready for the night of your life?" Gakupo said, excited

"Haha...yeah, but I'm not ready yet, let me just take a shower and get dressed" Kaito said

"What were you doing all this time?" Gakupo asked. Kaito was so desperate at this point, he was dying to tell Gakupo his secret but how could he? The weight of guilt weighed him down but instead he did his best to make a lie.

"You wouldnt even believe what happened" he lied

"Did you do something stupid?" Gakupo asked

'Yeah" Kaito said, relieved that Gakupo didn't see through him, "I couldn't find my phone and I got stressed out so I started picking my apartment apart and guess where it was"

"Oh please don't tell me it was in your bag" Gakupo replied

"Worse" Kaito said, trying to laugh "It was in my pocket". Gakupo started to laugh as well.

"Okay, I have to tell Len, hahaha, that was good Kaito, bet you wouldnt have found it if I didn't call" he laughed

"Yeah, probably wouldn't" Kaito said "Anyways, gonna go get a shower"

"Just don't have a spa in there, we're running low on time" Gakupo replied

"No problem, I'll call you when I'm out so you can get going to my apartment, bye" Kaito said

"See you around" Gakupo replied and hung up

"...Dammit" Kaito said and put the phone down. He took off the rest of his clothes and got in the shower. He let the water run through his blue hair, he ran his fingers through them, closing his eyes. "I can't go on like this much longer" he sighed "Some impulses just...can't be suppressed"

Authors Note: So...who can guess Kaito's little secret? I think I actually made it abit too obvious but anyways...It won't be revealed yet