DISCLAIMER: I'm not gonna bother, you should know the drill by now.

Chapter 3: The Secret of SCYOBI

As expected, Jack and Sam reappeared at the street leading to the store. "Boom baby!" Jack cheered. "Let's go."

Before long, they soon arrived at the entrance to the store. "'Bosco's Inconvenience Store'," Jack read the sign. "That's comforting. But it's the only option I've got, so…"

With a shrug, he stepped inside and began searching the shelves. "Let's see… Power regulators, power regulators… Nope, nothing here."

Sam pointed towards the back of the store. As Jack went towards it, he spotted a row of guns. "Nice, but not as nice as…" He quickly flexed his arms. "THESE GUNS!"

With that, he pushed open the door and stepped into the back. Immediately, his eyes fell upon a young boy wearing a yellow T-shirt and green shorts; a boy he'd killed many times in both Happy Wheels and various fan games. "BILLY! I KNEW IT!"

"What?" the boy gasped. "Hey, I'm not-" But he got no further before Jack tackled him to the ground. "Hey, what are you doing?"

"Don't play dumb!" Jack snapped, punching Billy in the face repeatedly. "You're always the villain in these things!"

"What? No, I'm not!"

Sam started squeaking urgently, but Jack ignored him and lifted Billy by his collar. "You're making a mistake!" Billy protested. "I'm not evil! I promise!"

"Like hell, you're not!" With that, Jack hurled Billy back against some boxes, sending papers flying everywhere.

"Stop beating me up!" Billy panted, holding up some components. "I have some power regulators right here? Don't you need them?"

"Right," Jack grunted in disbelief. "And you're just gonna hand 'em over. Sure…"

"Yeah, I am," Billy insisted, getting to his feet. "I'm not here to hurt you."

Sam quickly bounded between Jack and Billy and started squeaking loudly. "See? Sam's vouching for me," Billy cried. "You can trust me, I swear."

"How do you know Sam's name?" Jack asked.

"I've been here a long time," Billy replied. "I notice things."

"Um… okay… thanks." Jack held out his hand and Billy gave him the regulators. "Sorry about that. You know, when the safety's off on this plus-one biceps, I can't control them. They can go off at any time."

"Yeah, I figured that out," Billy muttered, rubbing his bruised cheek.

"So… why are you helping me?"

"I dunno. Maybe because I don't want to die."

"Heh, I think that ship sailed a long time ago," Jack chuckled. "How many times have I killed you now?"

Billy shook his head. "Wow, you're pretty thick, Jack."

"You're pretty annoying, Billy," Jack retorted.

"It's 'Irresponsible Son', technically," Billy corrected, dusting his clothes off. "Not that you care."

"Hey, I cared enough to name you!" Jack snapped. "You were just 'Son' before."

"But, considering that the alternative to helping you is a painful and permanent death," Billy went on, "I think I'm feeling generous right now."

Jack folded his arms with a scowl. "You're pretty articulate for a little kid."

"Well, you're pretty sadistic for a guy who promotes kindness and community values," Billy countered. "I mean, technically what you just did was child abuse."

"Is it really child abuse if the child's fictional?"

Sam cut in with a series of squeaks.

"Sam is right," Billy replied. "I don't have the time or patience to explain exactly what I am. Just listen to what I have to say, Jack."

"Alright, I'll hear you out." Jack pulled up a box and sat down. Sam jumped up onto his lap. "Go ahead."

"You see, Jack, I've been here a long time… dying to amuse you mostly," Billy added with a roll of his eyes. "But I saw this huge surge of power a little while ago, like a ton of stuff got uploaded at the same time. It was scary. Now, this might sound crazy to you, but I believe that all the people who fell asleep in your world must have been uploaded here."

"Oh man," Jack gasped. "With all this… Wireland and cough syrup crap, I completely forgot about all that! Wait," he cried. "How would you know about that if you didn't take them? You don't live in the real world."

"Well, this computer's connected to the internet!" Billy replied. "I may be just a kid, but I'm not stupid. And besides, I'm the one who called you to Wireland in the first place!"

Jack suddenly recalled the email he'd clicked on before he lost consciousness. "That was you? Who the hell is SCYOBI then?"

"It's 'Screw You, Billy' actually," Billy explained. "Get it? First two letters of each word? I thought it was clever. Must've been if you didn't figure out."

"Well, now I get it," Jack scoffed.

"Congratulations," Billy beamed. "You're finally catching on."

Jack glared at him. "I can still kill you, you know!"

"Well, sure, you could do that. Once! But if one of us dies outside our game, it means that our files go missing. And missing files means a fatal error. And a fatal error means that the game is unplayably corrupted. Unless, of course, we're being controlled by a player; then the Law of Death Permanence counteracts any permanent deaths."

"Huh?" Jack asked, scratching his head.

"It's all right here in the Wireland law book," Billy said, handing Jack a book. "Page 156, paragraph 9."

Jack flipped through the book until he found the law. "Okay… 'The Law of Death Permanence: If a character, acting of their own agency, dies outside their game, the death is permanent and will cause a fatal error due to missing files. However, if under the agency and control of a higher power (i.e. The Player), death is treated equally outside the game as it is inside the game (i.e. impermanent). Additionally, any other characters that die due to player negligence are resurrected when the player respawns.'" He then closed the book and handed it back. "So, basically I have to let you live so I can keep killing you?"

"Yep," Billy replied and Sam nodded too.

Jack smirked as an idea came to mind. "How's about you and me head back to…" He paused to throw up his arms and yell, "HAAAAAAAAPPY WHEEEEEEEELS for a bit?"

"Heh, not a chance, Jack," Billy chuckled. "And it's knowing little things like that that would make me a valuable asset to your journey because I think the millions who disappeared were all your subscribers. Do you really want to leave them helplessly fending for themselves down here?"

Jack thought it over for a moment. "So, you're proposing an alliance?"

"That's the idea," Billy replied.

"But I've already got Sam. Alphys told me that he knows Wireland very well."

"Well, no offense to Sam, but he can't talk. I bet you had trouble working out most of his squeaks getting here. Even if you could, you'd still get lost or not know how something works." Billy stepped closer and held out his arms. "Seriously, Jack, you need a proper Wireland resident to show you around. This is all your subscribers who need saving. I don't want to see you or them get stuck here forever. I wasn't programmed to be evil; you just made that up. But there are a lot of people whose programming could put you in serious danger. Just give me a chance. I know my stuff, promise."

After another moment of thought, Jack picked up Sam and held him up to his face. "What do you think, Sam? Should we trust him?"

Sam blinked once and looked at Billy for a moment. Then he turned back and nodded.

"Fine." Jack placed Sam back on his shoulder then stood up and held out his hand. "I guess we'll have to work together."

Billy rolled his eyes and shook Jack's hand. "I guess I'll take a reluctant alliance over being beheaded again."

"I'm back!" Jack called, stepping into his house again. As Billy followed him in, Jack saw that some new beings had arrived in the building.

"Hey, it's Ori!" Jack cried, pointing to a white creature by a fallen pot plant. He also saw some small black balls hanging from the ceiling. "These little goo guys seem to be everywhere."

"Yeah, thanks for playing that, Jack," Billy stated sarcastically. "It's not like this place was totally cluttered or anything."

"Sorry," Jack sarcastically muttered out the corner of his mouth. "I don't think about the world inside my computer when I choose what games to play."

Billy smiled. "You know, this whole weird situation would make a sweet game or fanfiction."

"Come on, Billy," Jack scoffed. "No one would play a game like that. And any fanfiction would be way too farfetched for anyone to read."

"Or would it?" Billy asked mysteriously.

Jack then noticed a strange man standing in front of his bedroom door. As he came closer, the man held out his hand. "Papers, please," he said in an Eastern European accent.

"Hey, you're Little Potato Man!" Jack cried in joy.

"Hey, is you," Jorji replied. "I heard you were here. Welcome to Wireland."

"Yeah, so, if you could move out of the way to my bedroom, that'd be great."

"I can't let you through unless you have right papers."

Jack frowned. "What papers?"

"You need passport and entry ticket. I run very strict border patrol."

"Well, uh…" Jack thought hard. "My bedroom's so great, I don't need a passport to get in."

"Haha, very funny!" Jorji laughed. "Sounds familiar… but I still can't let you in."

"It's my bedroom!" Jack yelled.

"Get right papers and come back," Jorji insisted. "Glory to Arstotzka!"

"We're not even in Arstotzka," Jack sighed and walked away. "Man, what a son of a beech."

He then followed the smell of smoke into his kitchen and quickly saw the result of Undyne's cooking. His cooker had left a huge black stain on the wall, and a spear was sticking out from the spot where his smoke detector used to be, now lying in pieces on the floor. "Oh God, what did you guys do?"

"Oh, it's you, Jack," Papyrus laughed nervously. "Fancy meeting you here… in your own kitchen… at your house."

"The kitchen sure has… changed," Jack grumbled.

"Yes," Papyrus stuttered. "We've rearranged the place a bit. We hope you like it."

"Yeah," Undyne agreed, swearing profusely. "It's not strategic at all, nope."

"Yeah, it looks a hole lot better in here," Billy muttered, noticing a large hole blocked off by a pot plant.

"Yep, so much better," Undyne agreed. "You should let us be your interior decorators."

"We sure do have an eye for…" Papyrus glanced at the damaged cooker. "Not hiding mistakes, that's for sure."

Just then, another skeleton, this one dressed like a douchebag, rolled up to him on a skateboard. "Oh no, it's Death from Manual Samuel," Jack groaned. "I'm going to hear it, aren't I?"

"Holy feces, dude!" Death called. "I heard you was here, yo! You're the Jack, the one we're here to entertain!"

"That's a weird way of putting it," Jack replied.

"Well, that be our job! To make you and the million, bazillion people who watch you happy!"

"Yeah, I guess that's true."

"Well, it be an honor to finally make your acquaintance, dude." Death leaned in closer to whisper in Jack's ear. "And uh, just FYI, that spaghetti on the table be a fast track to Hell if you even think about eating it, ya dig?"

"I HEARD THAT!" Papyrus shouted.

Jack went up to the table and examined the plates of pasta. "This spaghetti does look… good."

"Thank you," Papyrus replied. "Why don't you try some?"

"Oh, um…" Jack glanced at Billy for a moment. "I would, but… you made it look so delicious that I wouldn't want to mess it all up for you."

"Good save," Billy muttered.

"Ahh, of course!" Papyrus smiled. "I completely understand. You want to preserve our artistic masterpiece."

Jack then looked up at the spear in the wall. "Undyne, what is the meaning of that?"

"Sorry about that, Jack," Undyne chuckled sheepishly. "As it turned out, your smoke detector is pretty breakable after all."

"Yep," Jack sighed. "I generally advise against throwing spears against necessary household items."

"Well, that's just lame," Undyne snorted. "Can't make an omelet without setting fire to your oven!"

"Something tells me that that's not how the saying goes," Papyrus muttered.

Shaking his head, Jack left the kitchen and decided to peek into the bathroom. "Oh Mother of God…" Somehow, the way to the shop had grown longer during Jack's absence, to accommodate the queue of people and creatures that had formed. "How did this place get so big?"

"There's a lot of character that I'm sure you'll recognize," Billy added.

"Hey, Sans!" Jack called, walking to the front of the line. "Quite a line you've got here."

"Yeah, business is booming," Sans agreed. "Just a few minutes ago, this guy in an orange jumper bought like 50 rolls of duct tape. Dunno why. Anyway, if you want to buy something, you'll have to wait in line. These people have been waiting quite a while, plus I've taken quite a few breaks, and naps. Could be a while.

"Yeah, buddy," snapped the man from Hello Neighbor, standing at the head of the queue. "Don't cut in line or I'll kill you… Or just, catch you and make you restart."

"Noted, Mr. Wilson," Jack replied. "I'll pass for now, Sans."

Leaving the bathroom for another time, Jack and Billy entered the computer room. Sam jumped to the floor and bounded over to Alphys, squeaking happily.

"Oh, y-you're back," Alphys called, turning to Jack. "So, did you get the power regulators?"

"Yep, I found them and gave them to him," Billy replied cheerfully.

"Oh, hi, Billy," Alphys beamed. "I d-didn't even see you there."

"Hey, Alphys, what's up?" Billy said.

"Look, I don't want to interrupt this lovely catch-up session," Jack said, lifting Sam onto his desk. "But, uh… can I go home now?"

Alphys nodded and took the regulators. "Give me a second to install this, and you'll be on your way."

As Alphys returned to her work, Jack noted how his keyboard and screen were fixed and free of any sticky cough syrup residue. "Nicely done, Alphys. My setup looks almost new."

"T-Thanks." Alphys closed the computer case and pressed the power button. The screen switched on, displaying the start-up image. "Okay, I got it up and running. Now to just-"

Just then, the screen flashed an error.

"What the…?" Alphys climbed onto Jack's chair and scanned the error message. "There's a firewall here!"

"A firewall?" Jack cried.

Sam squeaked in the same tones as Jack.

"Yeah." Alphys tapped on the keyboard, but the message didn't go away. "And I can't get past it. How do you disable it?"

"Why are you asking me?" Jack asked. "Aren't you the genius here?"

"Genius? R-Really?" Alphys blushed slightly then shook her head. "Uh… A-Anyway, who else would have put it up?"

"I don't know," Jack replied. "That's weird."

Alphys adjusted her glasses and looked at the message again. "It clearly says right here 'Installed by The BOSS.'"

"Who's The BOSS?" Jack asked, rubbing his chin.

"I thought you called yourself that," Billy pointed out.

"Well, yeah, but not in all capitals like that," Jack said. "No, someone else must have installed that."

"So… someone clearly doesn't want you to leave," Billy assumed.

"Looks like it," Jack scowled. "Alphys, do you think you could take it down?"

"I think so," Alphys replied. "B-but to do that, I'm going to need a couple of hydrospersion keys. I can find their locations here, but they're encrypted. I could decrypt them, but that could take hours."

"So… what do we do?" Jack asked.

"Well…" Alphys turned back to the computer and began typing again. "I can set your front door up to take you near one of the keys. You'd have to wander around a bit to get it, but it would take way less time than trying to decrypt their locations."

Jack gave a weary groan. "Another fetch quest?"

"Sorry, but I really need those keys if you want to get home."

"I guess I don't mind going back out into the computer," Jack decided. "It wasn't so bad before."

"Well, h-here's the thing," Alphys said, turning to look at him. "Strictly speaking, it's not in the computer. It's embedded in o-one of your games, but I can't tell which one."

"So we have to traipse through one of the games that Jack has played?" Billy asked.

"I really hope it's somewhere innocuous like Turmoil," Jack said.

"I mean it could be that," Billy smirked. "Or it could be The Last of Us, or The Final Station, or-"

"Yeah, I get it," Jack cut in sharply. "I've played a lot of horror games."

"That's another thing," Alphys replied. "There might be some overlap. Y-You know, games blending into other ones. I guess what I'm trying to say is to prepare for anything."

"All right!" Billy cheered. "We're going on an adventure, Jackaboy!"

"Anyway, remember: I need a hydrospersion key," Alphys reminded them.

"Sure thing, Alphys." Jack plucked Sam up and led Billy out of the recording room and through the hole, ready to face the great unknown beyond…

And we'll find out where Jack, Sam, and Billy end up in the next chapter.

Things that are different from the game:

In this one, it's mostly dialogue based. For e.g., a lot of flavor text mixed into the main dialogue.