NOT MINE!
I currently want to stab Jason Mraz. I want to stab him in his heart for writing this damn song and sounding so fucking beautiful in it. "Lucky" played throughout the surround system in my living room, no it is not lucky to be in love with your best friend. You're wrong on so many levels Jason. Falling in love with your best friend is the hardest experience to ever go through, it pushes your mind to new levels, sends it in waves you never thought it could travel.
It's been four days since Edward's and my fight. I was tempted to pick up his phone calls. I was tempted to type away and reply to his desperate texts. I was so ready, ready to forgive him. I wasn't angry, I was just heart broken. Didn't he realize this? Didn't he see it? Well I finally took a chance and picked up his phone call.
"Hello?"
"Bella babe please, please just let me come over so we can talk! I need you back, it hurts, please just let me back over." His pleading tone let me know he was crying. Was he heart broken too? I sniffled and wiped my eyes.
"Yes come over." He hangs up and I rub my temples rocking back and forth. Stupid song. Stupid situation. Everything is just stupid. I hate being like this, but I felt like my heart had just been stomped on. When you go through heart break and admit it isn't easy call me. When you admit that having your heart shattered doesn't kill you inside, I'll clap because you stopped lying. I hate heart break. The door bell rings five minutes later, guess Edward was desperate. He sped over here. I stood up, the song repeating itself, over and over. I answered the door but didn't even get a chance to blink before I was pushed into the wall behind me, arms tightly wound around me, Edward holding me for dear life.
"I'm so sorry, oh God I am so sorry please forgive me. Please don't be mad anymore, please I can't take it. Bella I'm so sorry for the hurt." Edward was sobbing, his back heaving, his eyes red and puffy. I felt so bad, he was more torn up then I was. I ran my fingers through his hair, his face was buried in my neck, it made things easier. My shirt became soaked but I continued to hold his quivering form. I've never seen someone shake so violently before, I thought his convulsions would turn into a full on seizure.
"Edward you have to calm down, please it's ok stop crying, I'm not mad anymore. It's alright." I tried to reason with him.
"I'm such an asshole, I hurt you so much. I ignored my best friend for a girl, it's over between us. I ended things officially, I can't let her stand in the way of us. In the way of my best friend. In the way of my love." My eyes widen, did he say what I think he just said? I give him a confused glance, his eyes were glassy.
"Edward you have no idea what your saying, your hysterical you're still with Tanya, and I'm just your friend. Remember? You and I aren't anything." I replied. He shook his head and held my face in his hands, cupping my cheeks gently in his rough calloused hands.
"But we could be, if you gave me a chance. I love you. I always have. I know what I'm saying. I know how I feel. Don't you dare try and tell me how I do and don't feel, it's inside of me. It's all I've thought about. Best friends fall in love, it's possible." Edward explained. My jaw trembled and I shook my head and hit his shoulders.
"Your lying to me! Stop lying! Do us both a favor Edward, forget it. You don't feel that way about me, you care about me and love me in a friendly way only. Strictly friendly only, I promise you that." I said. Edward pushed me farther into the wall.
"No! I know how I feel God dammit I just fucking told you!" He screamed.
"Your hysterical Edward you're not in the right mind to be throwing those kinds of words around! Don't fucking say it if it's not how you really feel!" I shouted. I pushed him away from me but he stood his ground and placed his hands on either side of my body. I gulped, his face was pushed up close to mine, our breathing ragged, our foreheads pressed together. I didn't know what to think. I didn't know how to feel. He doesn't love me like that, if he did then we would have been together a long time ago, our friends would have found a way to get passed my brother.
"Edward no. You don't know what love is." I whispered. He grabbed one side of my neck and placed his mouth on the other side, leaving sensual kisses up and gently, his teeth nipping. I moaned, my head fell back giving him better access. His other hand gripped my hip in a bruising form, my hands tangled in his hair.
"I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again" My God shut up Jason! You're so not helping my cause, I shouldn't be letting Edward do this. But God dammit does it feel so good.
"Is this what love feels like? Doesn't this make you feel good? Love should make you feel good, don't tell me it doesn't feel amazing." Edward growled, his warm tongue gliding across my smooth skin. My heart thumped wildly in my chest and my eyes widened. Why am I letting him do this? Push him off! He's using you! Do it now before it's too late! Do it before you can't, do it before you have no more strength. I repeated this to myself and tried, I really did. I shoved him off and everything, but his amazing tongue, his sweet lips, I wanted more. I couldn't resist.
"Edward please don't do this..." I begged but pulled him closer, his mouth sucking on my collarbone. His hips pressed into mine, grinding together. Our breathing was ragged as he grabbed my face.
"Don't tell me what the fuck to do. I want to make you feel so good. I am determined, your mine now." His tone wasn't scary, wasn't demanding, it was a statement no hesitation within it. His tone dripped lust but was soft and I found a certain passion within it. I opened my mouth to speak but was interrupted by the doorbell. Edward took his hoodie off and told me to put it on, I knew he meant to cover my neck. I sighed slipping it on as he opened the door revealing Emmett and Jasper.
"Hey kids let us in!" Emmett squealed. I smiled when my brother scooped me up into his arms, I felt safe. As I hugged him tightly I looked into Edward's eyes, he smirked before winking at me and leaving. What the fuck did I just get myself into?