Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait! I really want to thank Lillyeve for taking over the beta reading for this story! I really appreciate it!

Here is the long awaited chapter! It's an entire flashback to the events prior to Emily finding the diary! Hope you guys like it!

I don't own anything!

Chapter 4

"You were my strenght when I was weak

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

You gave me faith 'cause you believed

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me"

- Celine Dion

ONE WEEK EARLIER

Two female agents knocked on the front door of a normal family house, patiently waiting until someone would open it to let them in. It didn't take long before they heard footsteps approaching and a tall, caucasian man opened the door.

"Michael Blackford? I'm agent Prentiss and this is agent Jareau, we're with the FBI. Can we ask you a few questions? Emily asked as she opened her badge.

Michael studied their badges for a short moment before stepping aside to let the two agents in.

"Of course," he smiled, stretching out his arm to the living room. "Please, come in and call me Mike. Can I get you anything to drink? Some soda, tea, a glass of good scotch perhaps?"

"No, thank you, we're on the job," JJ kindly rejected, taking a seat next to Emily on the couch while Michael took a chair opposite of them.

The two women shared a silent look. One of the benefits of being able to read each other's eyes, was the fact they only needed one look to communicate with each other. Either this man was just as kind as he appeared to be, or he was hiding something. JJ took four pictures of driver's licences out of her pocket and displayed them on the coffee table.

"Do you recognize any of these women?"

The man leaned closer to the table and took a good look at all four pictures. He squinted his eyes before pointing out two of the woman.

"I remember seeing those two at my bar in the mall. They both drank a latte. I think the first one came last week and the second one I saw yesterday,"

"We believe all four victims visited your bar in the last few weeks," Emily explained, gathering all the pictures off the table and tucking them away in JJ's vest. "Have you seen anything out of the ordinary? Maybe a man who was following them?"

"I can't say I did. They came in, drank their coffee and went on with their everyday life. I'm sorry I couldn't be more of assistance," he replied with a shake of his head.

He cleared his throat as the two agents got to their feet before leading them towards the front door and opening it to let them out. "I hope you find whoever was behind these abductions of those lovely ladies. I can't imagine what it would be like to be abducted with a taser."

"We'll do our best," Emily nodded, shaking his hand before taking out her car keys. "Thank you for your help anyway."

After JJ shook Michael's hand also, the two agents turned around and walked towards their car.

"Do you really believe he didn't see anything?" JJ questioned as she got in the passenger's seat and fastened her seatbelt. "I mean, he does work in the mall where all four victims were abducted from. They all drank coffee in his bar, security cameras can prove it. Is there something we're missing or does he really not remember them?"

"I don't think so," Emily said with a shake of her head.

She started the car to drive back to the precinct. "I mean, he seemed genuinely concerned about these abductions. Also, if he was our unsub, he would have taken an interest in me because I fit his victimology. He wouldn't have been able to resist staring at me, but he didn't. Maybe we should have Garcia dig more into his background, just to cover our bases, but I don't think she's going to find anything."

"Are you okay?" JJ suddenly asked, reaching out to rest a hand on Emily's brunette just shrugged and let out a sigh. "I know all these victims look a lot like you, but I won't let anything happen to you. I promise,"

"I know, Jennifer, I do, it's just... I really wish we had a solid lead to find that last missing woman before she turns up dead," Emily gave JJ a weak smile, showing she wasn't entirely comfortable with the whole case.

She only let JJ see how vulnerable she really felt. Once back with the team, her mask would fall in place and she'd be the strong agent Prentiss again. "I love you, you know that right?"

"Baby, don't talk as if this is our last case together," JJ answered with a laugh, squeezing the brunette's thigh slightly. "We're going to find a lead sooner or later, he's not going to come after you. We'll have many more cases to solve after this one,"

She trailed her hand up Emily's body to gently tuck a strand of hair behind the brunette's ear before letting her hand fall back in her lap. "Although, I must say I have a weird feeling about this case,"

CMCMCMCM

As they walked into the precinct, the whole team was already waiting for them in the conference room.

"How did it go?" Rossi instantly questioned, pulling back two chairs for the two women to sit down. "Did you get any wiser by talking to Michael Blackford?"

"Not really," Emily answered, leaning her elbows on the table. "He also didn't take interest in me and I fit his victimology perfectly. If he was our unsub, he wouldn't have been able to keep his eyes off me. He seemed genuinely concerned about the abductions,"

"Or he wants you to think he is," Alvez chimed in, taking his pen off the table to write a few notes on his notepad. "Okay, what do we know so far? He abducts his victims using a taser, he keeps them for three days and then kills them with a .22 kaliber shot to the chest. Then he dumps them near the side of the road as if they were garbage,"

"Garcia," JJ stated, ignoring Alvez for a minute because she was still with her head at Michael Blackford's house. She turned to the large monitor where the technical analyst had been patiently waiting for orders. "Can you run a background check on Michael Blackford just to be sure? I can't help it, but I still have a weird feeling about him,"

The blonde analyst nodded violently, happy to be finally given something to do. "I'll hit you back in a jiffy!"

JJ's question earned a giant laugh from Sammy Doles, the kind, chubby, lead inspector on the case. He had been standing in the far corner of the conference room, silently watching the team while they worked.

"Oh please," he laughed, his long necklace bouncing up and down along with his belly. "Mike couldn't even hurt a fly even if he wanted to,"

"You might think so," Tara answered, leaning back in her chair to get a better look at the officer. "But we still like to cover our bases. Sometimes, someone just isn't who we think they are,"

"And that applies to Michael Blackford," Garcia jumped in, showing his picture on the monitor. "He might be a good housefather, but boy does he have a troublesome past. His father used to beat the crap out of him every time he didn't listen. His mother was high on drugs and alcohol all the time and died when he was twelve, leaving him only with his abusive father,"

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit," Emily mumbled as she frantically jumped up and started looking for a newspaper. "Where is it? damn it!" Her voice was slightly raised with anger, but mostly it was pure frustration. She searched through the entire room and was about to rush out the door before she felt a strong grip on both her arms, holding her back.

"Emily, look at me," JJ softly demanded, turning her around to face her and giving a soft squeeze in the arms she was holding. The brunette visibly calmed down, but JJ kept her hands in place. "What are you looking for? What are you thinking about?

"We made a mistake, JJ. I screwed up." A deep sigh left her lips, covering the blonde's hands with her own. "Michael told us he wouldn't know what it's like to be abducted with a taser," she explained, taking a quick glance around the team before allowing her eyes to settle on blue ones again. "We never told the press he used a taser. How the hell would he know that except if..."

"He's our unsub," the younger agent finished for her, squeezing Emily's arms again before releasing her. "We need to go."

Garcia jumped into action. They already had his home adress, but she sent his work adress to their phones as well, just to be safe. Rossi, who saw their unit chief was still preocupied with blaming herself for the mistake, took the lead. "Reid, Tara, you're with me. We're going to his work adress. Alvez, JJ, Emily, take his home adress,"

A few minutes later, they were sitting in the car and JJ had decided to ride in the back with Emily. The unit chief was still beating herself up for not realising it sooner. "He was too ordinary, Emily; It wasn't in the profile. You couldn't have known. I didn't realise it either, it's both our mistake," She reached out a hand to rest on the brunette's thigh and gave a gentle squeeze in reassurance. "We're going to catch him now,"

"What if we're too late?" Emily retorted, turning her head to look out the window. "What if that woman is dead because I didn't realise this sooner? It's not your fault either; Jennifer. I'm the unit chief, I should notice these things,"

"His car's in the driveway," Alvez observed, pulling both female agents' attention towards Michael Blackford's house. "He probably never left after you guys came back, which means he likely kept the woman in the basement the entire time,"

He didn't mean for it to sound like an accusation, but Emily certainly took it that way. "Shut up, Alvez," she growled as she got out of the car, her gun already drawn. "You can take the first floor and JJ, you take the basement. I'll quickly clear the ground floor and join you," The orders were firmly given as the two remaining agents drew their gun.

In one swift motion, Alvez kicked in the heavy front door and announced himself as FBI before ascending the stairs. "Clear!" he shouted at the top before continuing to clear the rest of the rooms while Emily and JJ were already moving further into the house.

Emily went to clear the ground floor while JJ halted in front of the door she presumed led to the basement. She took a deep breath as she kicked it open and announced herself before desscending the stairs carefully. As she reached the bottom, she instantly saw a figure sitting on a chair in the far corner of the room. Slowly, but surely, she moved closer and once she realised it was the missing woman, her step turned into a little jog.

She holstered her gun before removing the tape from the woman's mouth. "Elisabeth, my name is agent Jareau, you're safe now," she said as she crouched down to untie the frightened woman's hands and feet.

Suddenly, Elisabeth reached for JJ's gun as soon as she was untied, catching the young agent by surprise. JJ quickly held up her hands in a defensive manner and stared into the barrel of her own gun. "Elisabeth..."

Feet pounding down the stairs made her glance backwards, only to see Emily jogging down the stairs and calling for backup in her earpiece. "Elisabeth," she started, her gun pointed at the brunette woman. She could see the fear in her eyes and knew she wasn't thinking rationally. "Put down the gun, we're the good guys here,"

The unit chief had just finished her sentence as she was struck with such force it caused her to fall on the ground, her gun sliding to the far corner of the basement. She faintly heard a woman's scream and knew it was JJ. A heavy weight held her down and she felt movement at her back. Her head was pounding hard, but she forced herself to get to her feet and as she opened her eyes, she was staring into the green ones belonging to Michael Blackford, who was aiming a gun right at her chest.

Now both agents were cornered by unsub and victim. Neither of them had expected this turn in events. They shared a look and knew they were in big trouble. Emily could go for her gun, but Michael would shoot her even if she would only move one inch. JJ was still held in place by the victim, but she decided to try and get her to lower the gun.

"Elisabeth, I need you to lower the gun. We're the good guys. Michael over there is the one who abducted you. We're here to save you."

Elisabeth violently shook her head as the gun trembled in her hand. The unit chief held her breath as she knew the woman had never touched a gun before and she was scared she'd accidentally pul the trigger. They were both wearing vests, but at this short distance, it was no guarantee they would hold the bullet.

"She won't listen," Michael laughed, waving his gun between the two agents as if he didn't know who to pick. "Who would have thought she'd help me kill you two?" his gun landed on Emily. "I always preferred brunettes."

As soon as JJ realised Michael was going to pull the trigger, she didn't think anymore. In a split second, she jumped into Emily's arms, hugging her close to her body just as two shots rung out. It felt as if Emily's heart was being pulled out of her chest as she felt JJ's body go limp and her knees buckled. She gently guided the blonde to the floor while tears were already falling down her cheeks. She faintly heard Alvez call for the paramedics and sat on her knees to put pressure on JJ's wound, who was losing a lot of blood.

"Stay with me baby, stay with me," she whispered as she continued to cry.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Alvez leading Michael out the door with a bleeding arm. Because Michael was so tall, the bullet had hit JJ just above her vest. Blood was flooding out of her neck. "Stay awake. I need you to stay awake."

JJ weakly brough her hand up to grip Emily's. "Emily..." she whispered, her voice cracking. "I.." she had trouble getting out words. "Love.." her eyes fluttered closed, but she fought to open them again. "You,"

"No, don't you say that, don't you dare leave me," Emily cried, cradling JJ's head in her lap as she tried to stop the bleeding. "You are not dying on me, do you hear me?"

Alvez came back down the stairs, the paramedics hot on his heels. "Blackford was constantly saying he'd come back for you," he informed the unit chief, but Emily wasn't listening. She was too busy waving the paramedics over and quickly stepped aside, knowing it was best to let them do their work.

As soon as she laid eyes on Alvez, she felt anger boiling inside of her. She jumped toward him and gripped his collar with both hands, pushing him up against the wall.

"Where the hell were you? I called for back up! What took you so long?! You should have shot him in his freaking head instead of his arm!"

"I thought I was the first to shoot, but he beat me by a second," the hispanic agent explained, already beating himself up over his bad decision.

He covered Emily's hands with his own. "I found his girlfriend wrapped in plastic and stuffed in the closet in his bedroom. I had to call it in. I came as fast as I could." He gently took Emily's hands off his chest and cradled them in his own. "Go to the hospital with her. You need to get checked out too,"

All Emily could do was nod while Alvez turned to Elisabeth, who was curled up in a ball in the corner of the basement, observing everything that was going on around her. The unit chief brought her hand up to her head and felt wetness seeping through her hair. As she looked around, she noticed an iron pipe with blood on it and finally knew what had hit her.

"Ma'am," one of the paramedics said, pulling her out of her thoughts. "You can ride in the front. Agent Jareau's condition is too critical to let you ride in the back. We need to be able to act as fast as we can,"

A deep, trembling breath left the brunette's lips as she saw the blood on JJ's chest. The bullet had hit her from behind and left high through her chest. As she looked down at her own body, she noticed the bullet was lodged in her vest, right across her heart.

Jennifer Jareau had taken a bullet for her.

CMCMCMCM

It was quiet in the waiting room of the hospital. Tara and Garcia were silently sipping a coffee, which had gone cold already but they didn't seem to notice. Alvez and Rossi were pacing back and forth and Reid was staring blankly ahead of him. Emily was checked out by a doctor and was now standing in front of the sliding doors they had pushed JJ through and where they had told her she was no long allowed to folllow. She was staring into the empty hallway and her heart stopped a baet every single time a doctor or nurse walked through the hall.

They had been waiting for nearly four hours until finally a doctor emerged from the surgery room and walked into their direction.

"I assume you are here for Miss. Jareau?" He questioned, glancing at every single team member until his eyes stopped on Emily. "We transferred her to a room. Only direct family is allowed. I will explain everything when we get there,"

"I'm her wife," Emily instantly replied before finally taking a breath, something she seemed to have forgotten whilst listening to the doctor. He motioned for her to follow through another door that led to the intensive care unit. Her heart was beating faster with every step she took toward her wife.

"This is never good," Rossi sighed as Garcia already had tears in her eyes. Tara looked at him in surprise and urged him to further explain. "I think Emily needs to brace herself for bad news. Otherwise, he wouldn't have a problem with telling her condition to the entire team," This earned gasps from all his collegues.

Doctor Kumar, as his nametag said, paused in front of a glass door and Emily could see her wife laying in a hospital bed. There were wires attached everywhere to her body. Her chest was going up and down in a steady rhythm and she seemed to be sleeping peacefully. As the doctor opened the door for her to go in, she rushed to the bed and took a hold of a warm hand. She stroked the knuckles with her thumb as tears made their way down her cheeks. "I'm right here, baby,"

The doctor overheard her whisper and swallowed hard. He had hever been keen on delivering bad news, but it needed to be done. "Ma'am, why don't you take a seat?"

His suggestion made Emily whip her head in his direction, fear spread across her eyes. "Why? What's wrong?" She refused to sit down and took a tighter hold on her wife's hand. "She's going to be fine. She has to be."

Letting out a soft sigh, doctor Kumar realised Emily wasn't going to sit down to receive the news. "We managed to repair some of the damage," he started, folding his arms across his chest. "However, she coded two times during sugery and now she has slipped into a coma,"

Emily laid her hand on her wife's chest. JJ was breathing.

"She has to wake up on her own. If she doesn't..." Dr. Kumar's voice trailed off as he took a few steps closer to the bed. "Even if she does wake up, she'll be paralized from the waist down and we can't tell for sure she'll ever walk again. Also the use of her arms and hands will be very weak,"

Emily pushed two fingers against her wife's wrist. JJ had a heartbeat.

"Of course my hopes are she wakes up, but the odds are against her. The bullet did some serious damage in her neck and hit a few nerves. Like I said, we managed to repair most of them, but we'll never know the true extent of her injuries until she wakes up,"

"What are her chances?" Emily questioned, lifting JJ's hand up to press a gentle kiss against her knuckles. She glanced at the doctor before her eyes settled on JJ again.

The doctor saw the hope in the Unit chief's eyes and sighed. The odds weren't in her favor. "I'd say 10, maybe 20%,"

Tears filled Emily's eyes as she bit her bottom lip. She violently shook her head and had a hard time keeping her tears inside. "It has to be more,"

Her voice trembled as she spoke while anger filled her body. She gritted her teeth as she thought back to the basement. Things weren't supposed to be this way. JJ should have been fine, but she isn't. Michael should have been dead, but he isn't. Alvez should have been there sooner, but he wasn't.

CMCMCMCM

"I can only allow one visitor at a time," the doctor stated after explaining JJ's condition to the team. Rossi was about to open his mouth to speak, but his words never left his lips as he saw Emily approaching out of the corner of his eye.

The technical analyst moved to wrap her arms around the brunette, but was held back by Emily pushing a hand against her chest. "I need to get out of here, Garcia," she whispered, before turning to Rossi. She removed her gun and badge from her hip and handed them to the seasoned agent. "Consider this my resignation,"

"Emily..."

"Garcia," Emily started, turning to the technical analyst once again. She took both hands of the blonde in hers and looked her in the eye. "I need you to go to JJ. I need you to hold her hand until I get back. I don't want her to be alone,"

All Garcia could do was nod in agreement before the unit chief turned around and left without saying further goodbye. No one wanted to hold her back. They were all friends with JJ, but the blonde was Emily's best friend, her wife, her soulmate. They would be there for their unit chief. Rossi tucked her badge and gun away safely in his bag. He wasn't going to make her resignation official. He had hope JJ would wake up and Emily would return to the BAU. They all had to have hope, if they didn't have hope, they wouldn't be able to keep it together.

Once back home, Emily was relieved that the boys were with her mother. She opened the door with such force it nearly slammed back into her body. She ran into the living room, delivering an angry kick to the coffee table. Magazines flew threw the air, along with the table itself. It didn't take long for her to reach the stairs, ascending it two steps at a time. She made it to the bedroom and started throwing pieces of clothing out the closet, purely out of frustration. She couldn't hold back the tears. One of the shirts took down JJ's necklaces before the shoes started to fly.

It took a few minutes for her to calm herself down and as she walked into the bathroom, she leaned her hands on the sink and looked in the mirror. Guilt washed over her. JJ had taken a bullet for her. She should be the one lying in the hospital bed and not her wife. Anger flooded through her body again and she couldn't look at herself any longer. Making a fist with both hands, she slammed them against the mirror, shattering it into a million pieces. Then she leaned her back against the wall as she sobbed, sliding to the floor before pulling her knees up to her chest. She didn't even feel the glass that stung in her palms. The pain didn't matter anymore.

Nothing mattered anymore as long as JJ wasn't awake.

Let me know what you think!