IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE: TRIGGER WARNING: Rape, abuse, violent language

And also, just for the notice, there will be no hanky-panky in this fic.

I just wanted to post the above, because I know how troubling the following content can be. However, for the sake of this fic, it's necessary.

I tried to stay as close to cannon as I could and tried to take as few liberties as possible. If you notice any discrepancies, just message me and I'll be happy to edit.

Thank you for your support.

Important info at the bottom in regards to me. If you would read it, that'd be lovely.

Disclaimer: Especially for this chapter, Yelena's story is not mine.

Part Four

I had fallen asleep the night before fairly quickly. Admittedly, I had missed Valek's presence, but the lure of a warm bed made up for it a bit. At least, that is what I thought until I was woken by a rustling noise outside my window. The room was still cast in shadows and once again I cursed my inability to light fires. Even the glow of a lit candle would help me recognize what was going on just outside of my thin walls.

I gripped the handle of my switchblade which I had placed under my pillow before I had drifted off, per habit. Throwing off the covers of my bed, I rose and crept slowly toward the window, placing myself next to it, my back against the wall, blade at the ready. My breath hitched as the woven shutters which enclosed the window were shaken, my mind flew through the possibilities, but instinct took over as the shutters were swung open and I heard boots hit the floor.

Habitually, I stepped into the person's range, knocking their raised arm out of the way, and pressed my knife to the person's neck. Using my momentum, I spun the intruder around, pressing the body against the wall. It wasn't until I caught my breath and my adrenaline had stopped pumping that I breathed in the familiar scent of musk and spice and that one thing that was just Valek and I realize what had happened.

With a deep chuckle, my stance faltered and my muscles unclenched; a hand traced up the curve of my wrist up to where I pressed the knife against his neck and his arm wrapped around my waist. With a quick slight of his hand, Valek disarmed me, popping the switchblade from my grasp and tossing it to the dresser in the corner. He pulled me to his chest, still laughing. I groaned at him, but fell into Valek's embrace.

"Full of surprises, aren't you?" He teased. I felt my face flush red.

"In my defense," I quipped, "Its completely dark, I'm still not completely familiar here, and I've never known you to make so much noise when you're ghosting. I just assumed it wasn't you."

Valek grumbled, "I'm perfectly competent when ghosting in Snake Forest, but I need more practice in this damn place before I'm soundless."

I grinned at his frustration and whispered to him, "I know something else that you do where you are hardly soundless."

He dipped his head to mine, foreheads pressed together, our hands cupped the each other's jaws. His breath fanned over my face. I could make out Valek's eyes shining with a sapphire glint that showed his intentions. We leaned in at the same time, pressing our lips together languidly; slowly, we savored our time and our touch. Each movement was careful and sure. I traced a path over Valek's shoulders, down his spine, over his strong back, and around to his hips, hands gentle and firm. With smooth strokes, Valek's thumbs brushed over my cheeks. One hand moved to card through my hair, pushing the awry strands off my forehead.

Holding onto his hips with both my hands, I moved us toward my bed. Valek followed, each step mirroring my own as our kiss continued. I could feel him smiling into it. I hummed against his mouth which made him break the kiss to pick me up and lay me onto the bed. Valek followed, his body pressing lightly against my own as our lips connected again. Our tenderness towards one another reflected our complete love and I lost myself in our actions. I slipped my hands to the front of Valek's waist, undoing his belt. When he moved his warm lips down to my neck, I gasped lightly, my eyelids fluttering lightly. Valek's light laugh sounded as I pulled him closer, forgetting his belt for a moment and hugging tight to myself, breathing in his scent. He continued his attention to my skin until a thought struck me and I stilled.

"Valek, stop," I whispered, moving my hand to cup his chin. He pulled up, moving to my side and sitting with his legs under himself. I pushed myself up and slid next to him, keeping a distance between ourselves for a moment, catching my breath.

"What is it, love?" Valek's concern layered his voice, settling his hands on my hips.

I took a deep breath and swept my eyes across the room, hoping he would pick up on my meaning. I sent him a small grimace and tilted my head toward my door, indicating the hallway. Valek's eyes widened and a flush crept up his cheeks. I laughed quietly, shaking my head as he also laughed, squeezing his hands on my hips.

"I...uh…" Valek shook his head, glancing up to my eyes. "You're right, we shouldn't do any more, it would only be…"

"Weird? Wrong?" I huffed, keeping the humor in my voice. "Not that I don't want to, because, Valek, you know I want to but…"

"Your parents," Valek confirmed with a nod, biting his lip.

"I mean," I said carefully. "It doesn't mean you can't stay and sleep."

"Sleep and…?" His voice trailed off and I knew what he meant but did not want to say.

I rolled my eyes jokingly. "Yes, sleep and cuddle," emphasizing it to indulge him..

He grinned and I felt ridiculous. I pulled the blanket aside and crawled under it, holding it open for Valek, "Come on."

Valek slipped beside me and linked his arms around my neck. I smiled at him, kissing the corner of his eyes, and pulled him closer, my arms around his neck. We lay like that, fingers just tracing each other's skin lightly, until our eyelids dropped and we fell asleep peacefully.

That peace lasted for what felt like mere minutes. I woke up in Valek's arms to the sound of Leif's voice.

"Ohhh, you are in trouble!"

With a groan I rolled over and pulled the bed covers up higher over my head instinctively. I heard Leif continuing to chatter on and peeked out from the covers at the warm body next to me. Valek's features were shaped with displeasure as he frowned at my older brother. It wasn't until I paid attention to his words that I realized why Valek looked upset. Apparently, Leif thought that he was going to tell on us. To mother. He wasn't going to escape this encounter alive.

I pulled my head out of the sheets, sitting up and snapping the sharpest glare I could at him, effectively shutting up my brother.

"What are you even doing in here?"

"Mother sent me to wake you up and tell you to come downstairs, but when she hears that I found you in bed with hmpf-" my pillow sliced through the air and effectively cut off his string of words. "Go away, Leif. We'll be down in a minute."

"Fine," He huffed. "But I am never going to let Mother hold off breakfast just so you can get your beauty sleep ever again."

I rolled my eyes and met Valek's gaze. He stood and stretched, "I'll go out through the window and come in through the door, alright?"

Suddenly nervous, I could only nod and dropped my gaze.

"Yelena?"

I pushed my hands through my hair, the strands having grown out over the weeks, "I'm fine. I'm reassuring myself that this is the right decision and that I definitely want to tell them now."

His voice was gentle, "You can wait until later in the day. It doesn't have to be first thing in the morning."

I shook my head, "No. I have to do it before my mother makes plans for us, or before I change my mind again, or before my father leaves to gather plants from the forest, or,"

"Okay," Valek brushed his fingers against my cheek.

I looked up at him, "It is a lot to tell. I haven't told anyone since you; you're the only one." Of course, I had shown Tula so I could connect with her, and I am sure Irys had figured out to a degree through our bond, and Ari and Janco knew from when they cared for me during the My Love enforced ramblings and sickness. But those instances were different. Either the person that I had told had also experienced what I had gone through or had been in my mind, or I had been unconscious from pain and poison. But now I was choosing willingly to tell other people my story. It was an intimate and irreversible decision.

"You are making the right choice. They need to know and they love you."

"I know." I stood and shooed Valek to the window, "Go and I'll let you in the door downstairs."

I watched his lean figure climb swiftly out the window and I turned to face my room. Changing my clothes, I hurried from my room and down to the lower level, where my mother had already let Valek inside. He was seated next to my father with Leif on the other side of one of the liana vine couches, but rose to kiss my cheek when he saw me. Gratefully, I smiled at him.

"Yelena!" My mother brightened, "You descend at last! Good, now, Leif has already started eating- so impatient- but now we can all eat and make plans for the day." She was smiling so sweetly at me that I hardly wanted to spoil her optimistic visions of my visit. But it was like Valek said, she had to know.

"Mom, I actually wanted to speak to you today," I hoped my smile looked genuine as my insides tore themselves up. Yes, over the past year I had grown so far. I had faced down enemies and murders and rapists and lived through Hell, but the darkest personal secrets I held still made me tremble, though they hardly made me collapse as they once did.

"Alright, we can talk after breakfast," She moved toward the kitchen, but I reached out for her elbow.

"No, I mean that I want to spend the day talking. Our family. It is important." My sincerity calmed my voice. Nothing there trembled.

"Yelena, your father has work he has promised to do for the Elders today and I have orders to fill, but I am sure we can find a moment-"

If I didn't speak soon, I'd lose my courage.

"Mom," I cut her off and she frowned disapprovingly. "Will you listen to me?"

"Yelena," she began to chastise, but I had opened my mouth and now didn't want to stop speaking. That's fine. I'd deal with her anger later. If she would still be angry after everything I had to tell her. I grew firm.

"Mom, please listen," I swallowed.

With a frown she folded her arms and nodded.

"Will you sit?"

The lines on her forehead deepened, but she placed herself on the couch next to Leif and Father. I took a deep breath and settled myself across from her, legs folded on the carpeted floor. Valek's hand rested on my upper arm, alerting me of his presence and support. I nodded vaguely at him, appreciative of his actions, but needing to move forward. I gestured for him to sit in the armchair next to the couch, just far enough that I wouldn't be tempted or distracted.

My family witnessed this exchange and their expressions grew drawn in, serious.

I took deep breath. That would probably happen more often now. Oh well, however I can manage to get through this. "Mom, before you left the Citadel after I'd returned from the fire world, you made me promise to visit and to explain my relationship with Valek. You know that's why I am here. Partially. There is more that I want to tell you, things that I left out when you first asked me about my life in Ixia." I paused here, preparing for the reactions.

My father nodded slowly seeming to know where this was going. That was unsurprising; Esau tended to understand what I had in mind and what I needed with high accuracy. My brother though displayed a mix of morbid curiosity and a wish to flee on his face- that, I could have predicted. My mother surprised me as usual. She had tucked her hand in the crook of Esau's elbow as if seeking stability, but offered a slight smile to me with an encouraging nod. Their reactions made me choke up; they were my family, through and through. I had come to know them, rely on them, trust them, and love them. Why was I so hesitant in telling them my story?

When I glanced for my own reassurance at Valek, I realized. His features were grim and his eyes locked onto my form. It wasn't because I didn't want my family to know, it was because I didn't want to relive my own hell. With a shudder, I held my hand out to Valek. A little of his strength would be nice.

Swiftly he sat next to me, his knee touching mine and my hand wrapped between his two.

I began to tell my story.

"The day I was abducted, Leif and I had been bored." When he realized how much I planned to tell, Leif hung his head and tightened his hands into fists. "I was six. I wanted an adventure." I smiled inwardly, I had gotten that adventure. "So with permission, we went to the forest floor to find some plants and play pretend. I wondered away from Leif, I shouldn't have though. Next thing, I heard a man calling for help somewhere deeper in the trees and I went to look. I found Kangom lying in the bushes, faking a bloody injury. He told me he needed help, but only just to stand up, then I could seek other help for him. But instead of pulling him to his feet when he grabbed my hand, he pulled me down and covered my face with a treated cloth until I passed out."

"And I watched it all…" Leif's voice cracked and his eyes looked hollow.

I shook my head, "Leif, I've forgiven you. You know what would have happened. It's time to move past it."

"Yelena?" My mother tentatively broke in. "How do you remember this all? I thought your memories had been stolen."

I smiled ruefully, "Moon Man showed me this and was able to restore a few memories. I couldn't be more grateful for that." Intently, I locked eyes with Leif and continued, "He also showed us that if Leif had stepped in, he would have been killed by Kangom and you would have lost both your children that day." My father's eyes widened and my mother wrapped her arm over Leif's shoulders, tucking him into her like a bird to its offspring.

"What happened happened. Better things came from it." I winced, "Not immediately, of course. We had to wait a bit and fight some, but life turned around. Look where we are." I felt Valek's gentle squeeze on my hand and I smiled slightly at him. Then I turned to train my eyes on the air in front of my face, unfocusing my gaze to focus on the hazy memories.

"I was taken to Ixia's Military District Five." A tremble broke into my voice, but I shoved it away. I began to revert to report mode, summarizing the facts. "It's rather far from here, but Kangom had clearance and a cover. He had already been working for General Brazell, who used to lead the district, under the name of Mogkan as an advisor to Brazell. The basis for their operation together was for Kangom to kidnap children with strong magical potential to boost his on limited powers, which he would then use to influence the Commander. Brazell had planned after this to take control of Ixia and with a nearly unlimited and powerful army, attack Sitia and take over. He wanted to control both countries. Its best that what happened, happened.

"In his district, Brazell had set up what he called an orphanage. In reality, he used it to house the stolen children until they reached the age where their magic showed." I focused on my family in front of me, casting a brief smile despite my hunched over shoulders. "This is where I grew up. It was pleasant enough. We were coddled a bit when we were young, to keep up appearances most likely. We were clothed and educated just like every other Ixian child and were even given an allowance for helping with tasks around the orphanage. All of the children close to my age were grateful for this. Of the ones that I grew up with, a few were actually Ixian orphans, but the rest, like my friends May and Cara, were from Sitia. We were all so blissfully unaware of this just as children are; being raised told that we were lucky to have been taken off the streets, lucky to have people to take care of us. We were indebted to the generous General Brazell." My voice grew bitter. "That's why his plan was so easy for all of us: we were eager to obey him to the point of torturing ourselves. We thought we owed our pain to him for saving us."

I had realized this before during the dark hours spent in a delirious state inside the dungeons. But still, I felt a twinge of anger over remembering this. Brazell and Mogkan had been twisted, manipulative men.

"I grew up just as any of the other children. Once a year, during the Hot Season, The Fire Festival would travel from district to district. It was a celebration with contests and performances of every variety. When I was a teenager, some of my friends and I decided to enter the acrobatic competition," I smiled at the pleasant memory of finding my skill for acrobatics. Sad laughter bubbled out as I remembered our very first practices. "We were awful at first. But over the years we all got better and better. I made it to the final round at one point. I even won the entire competition my last year, but not without consequences."

A curious expression passed over Leif's face, crinkling his forehead as a brush of his magic pushed against me. "What were your consequences?" His tone was nearly scared.

I took a deep breath. "The year I first mad the final round was the year Brazell took notice of me. He approached me one day and said that I was the most special of his orphans. He said that he needed my help in some of his experiments. I was the only one who could help him. The bastard had manipulated me. I felt like I owed it to him to give whatever he needed from me. So I did.

"First, it was simple athletic things. Running so far, dodging a ball, lifting weights. Nothing was awful." I was choosing my words carefully. "His son, Reyad would help him along with Mogkan who would supervise everything. Eventually, it all escalated too far. They would throw knives instead of balls, I would have to hold myself on a window ledge for an hour, and they would whip me, telling me to dodge it, or nearly light me on fire, saying that if I focused I could just put it out. They would beat me every time I failed and I still wanted to be good for them. It was all an attempt to get a magical response out of me. I failed almost every time. But when they did succeed in provoking me, when my uncontrolled magical energy would flare, they went easy for a while. Until I broke the rules, that is."

"They went easy?" Pearl's voice was low and her eyes were wide. "Yelena, my daughter…they were torturing you…" Her eyes began to shine with tears.

I blinked and took a deep breath. Valek squeezed my hand. "Mom, I know." I shook my head, "I know, but there is more. Please, just let me finish."

When she nodded, I spoke on. "They had set up rules for me to follow. I was separated from the others and had a private room in Reyad's wing. I had finished school and was only supposed to focus on their experiments, which meant giving up acrobatics. But when the experiments and punishments got worse, I had to start again. It was the only thing that would let me escape for a while. And at first I was careful about it. I would only practice when all three of them were away, or busy, or distracted, but once it was all too much and I wasn't as cautious. The fire festival was coming up and Reyad had been worse than usual so I pushed myself to practice one day. I was so focused and determined that I didn't notice when Reyad had spotted me. He immediately took me to Brazell and told him what I had done." My voice was growing weaker but I pushed through, focusing my gaze on the table between us, anchoring it there to avoid eye contact.

"He gave the responsibility of my punishment to Reyad. It was terrifying." I swallowed down the emotions pushing to the surface and dropped my gaze further. "Every night for five days, Reyad would force me to strip. I would wear only the metal collar and chains that he would bind me in." My voice quivered further. "Then he would make me do acrobatic tricks and would whip me if I failed. Brazell and Mogkan joined him sometimes. It was the worst punishment ye because it was more than physical. It was psychological. There was constant humiliation and embarrassment and the horror that if I did something wrong, he would go a step further in his punishment. But he never did at that point; he was waiting for me to do my worst."

I raised my eyes to Valek's. His face was shut down showing no emotion, yet he nodded for me to continue. "It went on similarly for a year. Reyad kept me under a tight watch for that year and I was too scared to disobey him. That is, until the fire festival came around again. For a while, Reyad had been lenient. My magic was flaring more often and I was meekly obeying him. The week of the festival, he was busy with one of the general's visiting daughters. That week I entered the competition. I had to do it; I was reckless and could not care less what happened. I knew that I would be caught eventually. But it didn't matter to me. So I made it all the way to the final round. I didn't even notice Reyad walk into the tent and watch. The final round was the best I had ever competed; I felt free and powerful and invincible for that time. I won. That's where I got the amulet." I glanced at my mother, but not long enough to register her expression. I didn't want to see any of their reactions yet.

"It was the happiest moment of my life at that point. And it was followed by the worst. Reyad was furious. I stalled in the changing tent for as long as possible. I didn't want to face his punishment. I ended up burying my amulet in the ground there because if I had kept it, Reyad would have had it destroyed and it meant too much. It was better not to have it then for it not to exist. So I faced Reyad. He took me to his father. Brazell…gave up on me that day. He said that I would never be able to be one of "his group". That didn't mean he was giving up on using me for my magic, instead he was even more desperate to break me. So Brazell gave me to Reyad. I was his problem to deal with now, his to exploit. There were no limits and when Reyad dragged me to his room and beat me, I could feel it in every blow that he wanted to kill me and nothing was stopping him from doing his worst now. He beat me until I was unconscious. I woke up…naked in his bed…and he stood over me, holding a journal…he made me read it out loud to him." I hadn't realized that tears were leaking from my eyes until Valek stroked them away with his fingertips. With his touch my body sagged and I leaned against his shoulder. Valek wrapped an arm around me, pulling me close.

I sighed deeply, "The journal…every entry was a grievance that I had done against him for those two years. Every action had a matching punishment. I-I don't…I can't tell you the details. Just, he whipped me," I shut my eyes tight. "And then he raped me."

My family's emotions were palpable in the air but I hid from them, tucking myself closer to Valek. "What Reyad didn't know was that after he punished me the year before, I had stolen a knife and hid it under his mattress. I don't know why there. I just knew I would need it." I sat up tall, not needing to lean to tell this next part. "He was sitting there so casually afterwards. He was calm and started talking, saying that they would need to start over now." My anger colored my voice and my expression pulled in hard but at the same time, I was afraid of what my family would think of me. "He said that they would start on a new girl. And I snapped. Never, never, would I let him do that. I should have killed him for myself, but that he was going to hurt someone else, one of the children I had grown up with was too much. I lunged for the knife and I slit his throat. I killed him."

Hey. I've got major news. Toward the end of March (2015) I began to get severely sick about every three to four days with severe nausea, have severe vomiting, and severe pain. I would end up in the emergency room each time. I was admitted to the hospital three times and had just about every test possible. I ended up needing surgery which kept me in the hospital for a week (this was in June now). After I was home, I got a pretty serious infection from the surgery and my energy was drained for weeks. Now, I'm pretty healthy again, but I was diagnosed with a chronic disease/disability and I lost a lot of weight. That being said, I'm not going to ever be 100% but I'm trying to live like that's not even on my mind. It sucked. Really, really sucked. This story wasn't on my mind the whole time (I was pretty concerned with not failing my last quarter of school, and trying out for play, and making it to my cousin's wedding, etc) but I have been itching to write again and I felt so bad for my neglect. To be honest, I considered dropping this project, but I'm sticking with it. I want to be happy with it, and I want to make you all happy.

Post author's note:

Well, big breath all. Now's for the more emotional gushy parts to come. And some anger but no worries.

Thanks for understanding.

~AssassinAuthor