35 Weeks Pregnant

So far, things have been going pretty well with Ethan, but things at school haven't really gotten much better. It's easier with him around, but he's the only person I really have to talk to other than Amy, who keeps pushing me to make new friends. I get that she's trying to help, but it's much easier said than done since most girls my age do not want to hang out with a pregnant girl, my old friends sure didn't. I have talked to a few girls, Jody and Francine; they aren't exactly nice, but they're the only people who will hang out with me right now other than Ethan. With the baby coming in less than 2 months, I really could use some more people to talk to.

Jody: So you went to state in a spelling bee?

Kathy: y-e-s

Jody: My mom saw it on the internet, and a whole bunch of other things. How can you be so smart and get pregnant?

Francine: Do you know what you're having?

Kathy: She's a girl. But I'm letting a couple adopt her.

Francine: Oh, I was adopted.

Kathy: How was it being adopted?

Francine: I don't remember, I was just a baby. But, you know, my mom and dad have just always been my mom and dad. I had these fantasies that my birth mother was this big, famous movie star, so my parents encouraged me to meet her, she is not. She's this 45 year old "actress" who had like one line on a sitcom you've never heard of 20 years ago and she never worked again. And she though I would get in her way. She still does.

Jody: She posted a video of herself online. Do you want to see it?

Kathy: I guess.

Jody: This doesn't make you feel weird or anything does it?

Kathy: No.

Knowing someone who has been adopted makes me feel a whole lot better about my decision. Not that I ever really doubted it, but it's nice to hear from the other point of view for a change.

37 Weeks Pregnant

I'm less than a month away from my due date and there is a lot I need to do before then. I'm meeting with Jonathan and Sonya, the adoptive parents, again tonight and I'm really nervous since I want to make sure everything goes perfectly. Ethan is trying to be supportive, but sometimes I think he crosses the line, especially when he tries to get too involved.

Ethan: I wish I was the father.

Kathy: No, you don't. You don't want to be responsible for my having a baby at 15.

Ethan: I would never let that happen. So does he ever call you?

Kathy: No. And if he did I wouldn't take his call. He knows the baby is being adopted and he's fine with it.

Ethan: So you talk to him?

Kathy: Before I left, yeah.

Ethan: And he never calls, just to see how you're doing or anything?

Kathy: No. What's going on with you?

Ethan: I want you to be my girlfriend but I don't really know how that works.

Kathy: Well, if you do want to go out tonight, I have to see the couple that's adopting the baby. You can go with me if you want.

Ethan: I'd love to be a part of that.

Kathy: Part of what?

Ethan: Part of your life, the baby's life.

Kathy: I'm not even going to be part of the baby's life. I'm just giving her life.

Ethan: Still, it intrigues me.

Kathy: Then maybe you shouldn't go. You shouldn't really have intrigue around something that you've got nothing to do with.

I'm already stressed out enough about the meeting, so Ethan getting involved is only stressing me out more. The more I talk to Amy about it, I get even more stressed out about the whole thing.

Amy: I know that you really like Ethan, but maybe having him be too involved in the pregnancy is a bad idea. It's going to be very tough on you having the baby and then letting this couple adopt her. It's not because it isn't the right thing, because I think it is, it still is going to be very difficult because you love her. And Ethan really likes you and the baby is a part of you so he may fall in love with her too. It will be very difficult for him to see you letting go of her. And in a way you're involving him in the biggest decision of your life and you hardly even know him.

With all of these people giving me advice, it's only tearing me in so many different directions and confusing me more.

Later that Evening

I'm so nervous about the meeting with Jonathan and Sonya that I can't even focus. Ethan is coming with me because the more I thought about it, the more I realized I am way too nervous to do this alone. It also doesn't help that they're already late.

Sonya: Hi Kathy, we must have missed you coming in.

Kathy: Hi, I'm glad you're here. And this is Ethan.

Ethan: So, why can't you guys have kids?

Jonathan: And why can't you have manners?

Kathy: He's a troubled youth.

Ethan: I'm not that troubled and I'm just looking out for her.

Jonathan: And our infertility would concern you how?

Ethan: Maybe you're not meant to have kids.

Sonya: No, it's a fair question. We carry the gene for tay sachs, so we decided to adopt.

Ethan: I'm sorry about that.

Jonathan: Do you have any more questions?

Kathy: No, he doesn't.

Ethan: Are you religious people?

Sonya: I thought you weren't concerned about that.

Kathy: I'm not.

Sonya: Jonathan is Jewish and I'm Catholic. We always just check 'none' on any questions about religion but we are very spiritual people.

Jonathan: You don't have to answer his questions. He's got absolutely nothing to do with this. Does he Kathy?

Kathy: Definitely not.

Ethan: Are you financially stable?

Sonya: Ethan, we're going to be good parents. We love this baby.

Ethan: Do you?

Kathy: Shut up!

Jonathan: You know what, this is not a healthy relationship for you. Or us.

That meeting did not go well at all. I am so furious at Ethan for asking the absolute worst questions. After that whole mess, I'm scared that Jonathan and Sonya might not even want to adopt my baby anymore. If that happens, I don't know what I'm going to do. I really like them and think they will be great parents, plus it's much too late in the game to find anyone else. I don't know what's going to happen with the adoption at this point, but one thing's for sure, Jonathan and Sonya do not want me to see Ethan anymore.