Chapter 4. Savannahs story.
I looked at the time on the clock, 3:18am. I looked out the window... Another rainy night in Portland.
As I reached for a tissue that was on my bedside I glanced at my phone. Earlier on this evening I had phoned Carlos. He had his wedding band removed, the hurt my heart suffered from hearing that almost killed me.
I wanted to shout at him, scream at him. He told me the last night I saw him that he saw it as a nice reminder of the time we shared, now it seemed he just wanted to forget me and run off with a girl that he swore to me meant nothing to him and he had told me countless times that she had cheated on him.
I was so angry at Carlos but knew better than to start an arguement over it. Instead I did the grown up thing and called him to say it was time we got divorce plans underway. Obviously he was moving forward.
He seemed shocked and upset about this news I was giving him, that filled me with some hope that maybe it wasn't his idea to get rid of his tattoo... I expect it was all that bitches fault.
Tonight was just like every other night that I had spent in Portland since I had arrived. I cried... Cried myself to sleep every fucking night.
To start off with my mom would come in and comfort me, but as the days and weeks passed she just left me to cry myself to sleep.
Tonight was worse, as today was the day of my fathers funeral. Mackenzie and Logan had been down. We had talked but she was only concerned about Sean. Logan had done most of the talking.
I missed her, at every opportunity I had i told her I was sorry about James, about what I did. It wasn't like I did it to hurt her. It did honestly just happen for my own reasons. But she would never listen to my excuses. Logan told me to just let it go, and things would sort them selves out.
I had never felt so alone. sleep hadn't been a friend of mine since the rape, but now... So many regrets ran through my mind, and not one single way to fix them came up, the only way I fell to sleep was to cry my eyes out.
I glanced at my phone again. Fuck it I will phone him, I thought to myself.
I dialled the number and let it ring in my ear.
"I didn't think you would call tonight? Your later than usual" came the answer to my call.
"yeah sorry, I hope I didn't wake anyone?" I replied.
"only me, Sheri is still fast asleep" James replied.
"that's good... Look are you sure about this James. I mean he got his fucking tattoo removed, and now divorce has popped out of my mouth... I don't know what I'm fucking doing" I explained.
"savannah he loves you. And I owe it to you to get things back to how they were... Tammi is not the girl for him, you are! ... Look, are you okay tonight, I know today must of been rough for you. Did you talk with Mackenzie?" James asked.
I sighed "not really, she only talks about Sean with me, my mom tried talking to her but Mackenzie just doesn't want to hear it" I explained.
"okay well the wedding is in three weeks sav, I'm sure she will invite you in the end but if not... Well you've got your key huh!" He said.
"yeah... I hope so James. Sheriden is gonna fucking kill you if she finds out about this" I said.
"look do you want Macks and Carlos back in your life our not?" He said.
"course I do... James... Thanks for doing this for me, you really are the last person I expected to help me" I said feeling emotional again.
"I'm just trying to fix things sav... have you told Antonio what I said to tell him?" James then asked.
"yeah I did, but I think he knows I'm talking to you?" I said.
"he is acting a bit odd with me. Sheri thinks its because of us spending the night together" James replied.
"well that doesn't help but he seemed to understand what I said" I explained.
"good, once you have him on your side, Carlos will listen to him savannah! he looks up to Antonio... Jesus this would be a lot easier if Sheriden was still her devious self... I'm not good at the lying and scheming" he chuckled down the phone.
"tell me about it!... James what if I just get chucked out at the wedding. If Mackenzie doesn't want me there then you know Sheriden will side with her" I said worrying.
"I don't know, just come up with an excuse to say you need to stay. I tell you now that I will deny any involvement in this, you know what Mackenzie and logan mean to Sheri and i... Look I've got to go one of the twins has woken up... Call me tomorrow night if you need me sav. Take care okay" he said.
"thanks James, speak soon" I replied, and hit the end call button.
James had told me to talk to Antonio, to tell him I was still in love with his brother, to explain that James was a mistake, to thank him for killing Marcus croft... Even though that was a lie, I wanted Marcus croft to suffer behind bars like his brother. James also told me to sway Antonios thoughts in to thinking that Carlos and I should be together to make all of those things that have happened worthwhile.
I sighed as I still looked at my phone in my hand, then scrolled through some of the pictures of Carlos and I.
We were so happy, if only I had of stuck it out. If only I hadn't of run away... Fuck! Why did I let that bitch take my Carlos. I was so lost without him.
The crying started up then as I looked at Carlos smiling back at me, and the emptiness I felt in my heart took over. It actually hurt. How can a heart hurt. I just wanted him back.
As the weeks went by, and the day of my sisters wedding came I still had no invite, my mom had told me she had been invited down to visit kenz, but I had had no contact from my sister, or Sheriden to say 'hey there's a wedding! fancy coming?'
So I did plan B, as James told me and decided to make my suprise return to LA, I took Sean with me, he needed a break from those freak grandparents of his, and I needed a reason to be allowed to stay in the house once I had arrived.
That much of james' plan worked but the part we were both counting on never happened. Mackenzie was meant to forgive me, with the emotion of a wedding and the guests, and not knowing that I was going to turn up.
I took Sean upstairs in to my old room I had stayed in and tucked him in to bed. I waited and waited for Mackenzie to come up, to hug it out... To be sisters again... But it never came. I had to watch her get married through the window of my room.
As Sheriden looked up I looked away, sat on the end of seans bed and cried, Carlos was all over Tammi, my heart shattered seeing it with my own eyes. And Mackenzie hadn't spared a thought to invite me down, knowing her own flesh and blood was up here...
The tears would not stop.
the time dragged by, I had almost drifted off to sleep. But a tap on the door sounded and james' head poked in the gap that opened up.
"can I come in?" He said
"there all over each other! I've come here for nothing!" I sobbed out.
"sav shhhhh... Look things didn't work out, but they will... Good call with bringing your brother by the way... Genius!" James said.
"he loves her doesn't he?! Like proper loves her... Why didn't you warn me?" I cried, ignoring what he just said.
"he loves you. Look at you, she is nothing compared to you" James said with his smile.
"look at me? James I'm fat and disgusting!" I sobbed.
"your not fat, your hot! you got the whole Marylin Monroe thing going on for you now. Work it sav" James said giving me a hug.
"do you think kenz will come up... To talk?" I sniffed.
"I don't think so savs... Why don't you come down with me, say congratulations?" He whispered.
"I can't, not with that bitch all over my husband. I will end up head butting her and ruining Mackenzies night. I will talk to Sheri later though... When everyone has gone" I explained.
"fair enough. Savannah do you know why Antonio is here in LA, is he here with you?" James then asked.
"I pinned more hopes on tonight than I should of. He has found a place for me to rent, he has been sorting it out for me." I revealed.
"oh savannah... I'm so sorry. Things will work out okay. I will make sure of it. I can't stand Tammi, I have no clue what Carlos sees in her!" James then said and gave me a reassuring hug.
"see you later okay" he said with his smile.
I nodded and curled up next to my brother and silently cried as I listened for the celebrations downstairs to die down