Chapter Four: Paulina

Disclaimer: I don't own DP. For that matter, I don't even own the original idea for this fic—that came from a challenge issued by ghostanimal. :)

And fair warning since this is supposed to be mostly comedy: there be some angst in this chapter.

It had been Danny who had suggested that Paulina go first. She was sure to be the craziest of his fans, or at least that's what he'd assumed, and he was hoping to just get it over with. Sure enough, she squealed and nearly fainted when she saw him sitting there at the table, his green eyes sparkling as he smiled at her and said a simple "hello."

And then she sat there and stared at him for over a minute without saying a word.

It was the creepiest thing that Danny had ever seen. Paulina, who never kept her mouth shut for more than ten seconds even in class (where she generally substituted moving her mouth with texting her bffs instead), was being dead quiet as she stared at him, all dewy eyed and entranced, and eventually he couldn't just take it anymore. So clearing his throat a little, he said the first thing that came to mind.

"You, uh . . . You look really beautiful tonight," he stuttered stupidly, hoping that she'd stop being so quiet. It was just too eerie, and he'd kind of feel bad if she spent twenty bucks to just sit across from Phantom all slack jawed.

And, of course, this was Paulina, so it's not like he was lying. She always looked beautiful, at least to Danny.

"You really think so?" she said as she ran her fingers through her long, dark hair and smiled brilliantly at him. "I spent like an extra two hours on my hair tonight and it took me like forever to pick my outfit."

"Seriously?" Looking at her more closely, Danny frowned, not really seeing how she was dressed any differently than usual. It just looked like she had on a slightly nicer pink shirt than the ones that she always wore, and a flowing, knee-length white skirt instead of her usual tight blue pants.

"Well, like, I thought that I would wear my shirt with your logo on it, but after that creepy goth girl wore it that one time I couldn't bring myself to wear it, like, ever again, because who wants to wear the same thing as that loser?" she rambled. "But I couldn't just wear the same boring clothes I wear all the time when tonight was supposed to be special, you know, so I kept going through my wardrobe and nothing seemed to work, and eventually I thought that maybe I could just wear the skirt that my papa got me for my birthday last year, because even though he's a guy he actually has really, really good taste in clothes, but I think that's because he has to dress super professionally for his job and stuff and he actually talks to the girls in the clothing stores when he's trying to pick something out for me, 'cause, like, he's smart enough to realize that he doesn't actually know that much about girls clothes even though he has good taste in guy's clothes."

"Uh-huh . . ." Danny stared at her for a second, not really sure what to say or think since he'd barely followed her prattling , and he tried to pull out something that she'd said from the mess so it would at least sort of sound like he'd been listening to her. Something about her dad or clothes or something . . . "So . . . uh . . . your dad has good tastes?"

"Obviously, Phantom, and that's why I was thinking that for our wedding, we could get married at my papa's mansion in the mountains since it's really beautiful up there in the summer time," said Paulina at last, and instantly Danny felt nauseous.

"Uh, wedding?" he coughed, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"Aww, you're so cute when you're nervous!" she squeaked, taking his hand, and a chill ran through her when she touched him and she flinched ever so slightly. Much to his surprise, however, she didn't let go. "Oh, wow, you're really cold. I thought you'd be like really warm since you're super hot."

"I am a ghost, remember?" he teased, trying to be patient, and he couldn't help the slight blush that appeared as he thought about what she'd just said about how he actually qualified as good looking by her standards. That, and, well, she was totally flirting with him! A popular, beautiful girl wanted to date him for once instead of running in the other direction or flinging him aside like he was some sort of noxious piece of human trash, and it was kind of a nice feeling. "And unfortunately, I'm pretty sure that it's illegal for ghosts to get married in like every state."

"Oh, don't worry, my love, I can get my papa to change that," she said, smiling madly. "He's a rich and powerful man, you know?"

"Um . . . "

"And Paulina Phantom just sounds so perfect!" she squeaked. "My cousin knows a great designer, too, who can totally make me a beautiful dress that will just go perfectly with your hair and eyes and will be able to make you a really amazing suit. I was thinking for our honeymoon we could go someplace tropical and nice with a lot of sun, though, since I love the beach, or maybe we could go to Spain since some of my family still lives there and—"

"—um, I can't really leave Amity Park," he told her, which was only a half-lie, and he was starting to get a little worried. It was cute when she was flirting with him, but her wedding plans went a little too far beyond flirting for his tastes. "Amity Park is my home. I need to be here to defend it."

"I'm sure this lame town will be okay for a couple of days," she sniffed, dismissing his concerns with a wave of her free hand. "And even if it's not, I have enough money to just rebuild it and stuff, and besides, it's not like anyone popular ever gets killed in a ghost attack."

"Um, I still can't leave here, Paulina—" he began.

"Oooh! You said my name!" she exclaimed, cutting him off and smiling at him. "So when we get married, I figure that we can have like two kids, a boy and a girl—"

"—I can't have kids," said Danny, although he wasn't exactly sure if that was true or not. It seemed like ghosts could have kids at least with other ghosts—after all, Box Lunch had to come from somewhere—and humans obviously could with other humans, but he wasn't sure the case was true between humans and ghosts. It wasn't something he'd thought about much, or wanted to since he wasn't sure how being a half-ghost might make having kids one day impossible for him . . . but still, hadn't she even considered that it probably wasn't possible for a ghost and human to have a kid? Was she really this clueless?

"What?"

"I'm dead, Paulina," he said quietly, feeling worse with every word that came out of his mouth, because he didn't hate Paulina and he knew that what he was saying was going to crush her. Of course, it was because he actually did like her that he had to try and force her to give up this delusion. It wasn't going to do her any favors in the long run and Danny knew that, as much as he hated to admit it since he liked the attention she gave him as Phantom. "I'm a ghost. I can't have kids. And I won't age, either. I mean, I might end up looking a little older eventually—that happens sometimes as a ghost's powers develop—but I'm not going to be able to grow old with you or have a family with you or marry you. I'm not human. I can't—I can't pretend to live life like I am."

"But—"

"I'm sorry, Paulina," he said, pulling his hand away from hers. "I thought you understood all that."

"Oh . . . oh . . . but—but I don't care," she whispered, her eyes shining, and Danny could see a hint of tears sparkling in the corners of her eyes. "I don't care about any of that. I love you, ghost boy."

"No, Paulina, you don't," he told her as gently as he could, but in truth, there was no kind way to say what he was about to tell her. "You think I'm cute and that you'd be okay with living a life with me right now but somehow, I don't think that you're still going to feel that way in ten years, maybe even in five years. Eventually you will want a family and a life, and you can't have that with someone that's dead. I don't—I don't really want a relationship, Paulina. I don't want to get married someday. I mean, I can't, not really."

"But then why are you doing this at all?" she asked as her tears poured freely now, and she gestured half-heartedly at the table and the cheesy lights and decorations his friends had set up.

"Because . . . I wanted a chance to feel normal for once," he said, not willing to tell her that originally he and Tucker just planned this as a way make some extra money, and inside he felt himself thinking that maybe Sam was right to be against all of this if it meant making Paulina and likely a few other girls so upset for reasons beyond not getting picked for a date. But what he was telling Paulina wasn't exactly a lie, either, so he tried to focus on that as he spoke and hoped that she wouldn't hate him after this. "I wanted a chance to talk to people like you, the people who have supported me throughout the years even after the press and my-er, the Fentons- said so many horrible things about me. And I wanted to tell you that it means a lot. I'm sorry that I can't be what you want me to be, Paulina. I hope that you understand."

Suddenly a buzzer sounded, and glancing up, Danny saw Tucker emerge. "Okay, Paulina, time's up."

"I—but—"

"Goodbye, Paulina," said Danny gently, smiling at her, and the shocked girl stumbled out of the tent, not sure what to think. Walking past the others without a word, Paulina headed out of the park and to her limo, knowing as she left that she was not going to be the one to get his call.

Valerie watched the girl in silence, wondering what the ghost had said to her to make her so upset. It was hard to imagine that Phantom might ever break Paulina's heart—he seemed to like the limitless adoration she had for him—and yet it appeared he had done just that. Maybe Paulina had finally seen the truth. Maybe she finally realized that Phantom was the evil ghost that Valerie had always known him to be.

"Okay, Dash Baxter, you're up next!" called Tucker, and as the football player walked into the tent, Valerie idly wondered whether he was actually interested in a date or just looking for five minutes with his hero. Either way, if he were any one but the star quarterback, then he would have been teased mercilessly for it tomorrow, but with his position and habit of beating up anyone who even looked at him the wrong way, there was no chance that would happen.

Or at least anyone who was stupid enough to say a word about his "date" was likely going to regret it very, very quickly.

A/N: So yup, an early update and a little bit of angst. It happens-I'm kinda bad at sticking to my genres sometimes, as well as to my update schedule. Although at the very least I doubt you guys minded the early update after the last chapter. :)

On another note, I'm aware that there's no Spanish in this chapter, either. I can't speak it-I took French in high school and college-so I didn't try to include it here even though I know Paulina can speak it and occasionally uses a line here or there in the show. I know one or two phrases, but, uh, they didn't really come up in this piece, and I didn't want to try and force it too much.

Anyway, thanks so much to Amelie Nockturne, Lady Lawless, Fluehatraya, coopt98, LTTHE4TH, ghostanimal, Anne Camp aka Obi-quiet, S, ColorLikeWhoa, ChopSuzi, PrennCooder, KraZiiePyrozHavemoreFun, and smallvillephantom14 for their reviews! This is the most response I've gotten to anything I've ever posted on here, so seriously, you guys made my week. :)

'til next time, and, as always, please review! I'm a little more nervous than usual after this chapter, so I definitely want to know what you guys thought.