Janet was pacing. She never paced, but tonight she was nervous as hell. She was nervous about the dinner she had planned, still feeling guilty for letting Jack down the week before. She was nervous about her choice of dress, and more than anything she was nervous about what she wanted to discuss with him. Or propose. Whatever. She would probably end up not bringing it up at all. She considered changing out of her dress. It wasn't too fancy, black with little white flowers printed on it, short sleeves and a skirt that ended just below her knees, but it was probably too much for a casual dinner with a friend. Especially because she had to wear heels with it. But she had felt like a dress, and yes, she wanted to look nice for him. He had never seen her in anything but uniform, usually covered with a lab coat. When she heard the knock she realised it was too late to do anything about it. She inhaled and opened the door.
He wore jeans and a black button down shirt, and he looked amazing. And he obviously liked her dress.
"Hey", he greeted her, his gaze wandering over her body, down her legs, and up to meet her eyes again.
"Hey", she answered and stepped back to let him in. For a moment it was awkward, but then they both grinned and hugged each other tightly. He held on to her a little longer than she had expected, and he felt so good. She placed a small kiss against the side of his neck, and his grip on her tightened. Maybe she was going to bring it up with him after all.
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Dinner had been funny and flirty and full of banter and teasing, and the tension had built the whole time so that Janet half expected sparks to fly every time their eyes met. Over dessert she made up her mind. She was going to do it. This was simply too good to let go of. They cleared the table, and even working side by side in her small kitchen felt flirty. Their arms and hands and hips touched a lot more than necessary, and all those touches became longer and longer. Finally she couldn't take it any more and simply turned to him, put her arms around his neck and kissed him. It took him a moment, but then he fully responded, embracing her, allowing his hands to roam her body. His hands went around her butt and down her thighs until they found the hem of her dress. Pushing it upward inch by inch he enjoyed the feeling of her naked skin and her body pressed against his. She rolled her hips against him, and the few layers of fabric between them did nothing to hide exactly how much he enjoyed all of this. Janet felt herself respond as well. There she was, standing in her kitchen, making out with a man she'd known for years, and she desperately needed more of him. She wanted him, and she was pretty sure the feeling was mutual. But they had agreed they didn't want a relationship, so she decided they had to talk. She pulled away from him enough to take his hand and lead him to the living room. They sat on her couch, and she loved the feeling of his body close to hers. Strong, solid and familiar. She had always felt safe with him, but all of a sudden him being so close was beginning to be a bit unsettling. She looked at her hands laying in her lap. She wasn't so sure this was a good idea any more.
"What?" Jack asked her softly, sensing that something was up when she lost the playful flirty behaviour she had been showing earlier. He took both her hands from where they lay in her lap and looked at her. "What's wrong?"
"I think I need more wine."
"Already getting too sober to bear me?"
It had been meant to be playful, but she wasn't entirely sure there wasn't some truth in it. He had always been quick to diminish himself, a character trait she never understood. He was amazing, smart and strong and handsome, so where did these fits of insecurity come from? When he started to draw back she realised she had been quiet for too long. She reached out for his hands. Her throat was horribly dry all of a sudden. She really needed more wine. She got up from the couch, making a point of lightly touching his shoulder as she made her way to the kitchen.
"You want some more, too?"
Somehow Jack felt as if he might need liquid courage, so he said: "Yes, please."
When Janet came back with two glasses of wine he stood and took one from her. They looked at each other for a moment and clinked glasses, smiling at each other as they drank. Janet set down her glass on the coffee table and sat, looking up at him expectantly. As soon as he joined her on the couch she rushed out:
"I had this very stupid idea that seemed brilliant back when I thought of it, but you'll probably fall on the floor laughing. Or look at me as if I'm nuts, or never look at me at all ever again, so maybe I'd better shut up right now, which is what I'm going to do."
Jack had been looking at her all through her little speech, a smile slowly spreading across his face. He reached out to touch her face, and then he leaned in for a slow, tender kiss. "I have no idea what you're talking about, but I can't imagine one single thing that you could come up with that would make me react in any of those ways."
When Janet took a deep breath he nodded at her encouragingly. "Spill, doc."
"I have a proposition for you..."
His eyebrows rose. "OK?"
"Well more of a...pact really..."
"A pact?"
"Yes."
She got up and turned to him, and after a moment's hesitation she moved onto his lap, straddling his thighs. His smile told her that he was surprised, but that it was a pleasant surprise. His hands came up to her hips and he looked her straight in the eye as she went on: "Friends with benefits until one of us meets someone we fall for hard enough to let go of -" she leaned in to kiss him, the tip of her tongue trailing between his lips, and the sentence ended in a whispered "- this."
He groaned, and his hands moved away from her hips to grab her ass. He passionately returned the kiss, and she melted into his body, her lips parting willingly, welcoming him without restraint. When they broke the kiss she felt a little dizzy. "I guess this means you agree to my terms."
He smiled and kissed her again, softer this time. "Hell yeah, I do."
Getting up she took his hand and led him into her bedroom. They lay down on the bed, and for a while there wasn't much talking, but all of a sudden Jack said:
"You know you're at an advantage here, right?"
"I am?"
"Well, you just about know everything about me. There's nothing you haven't seen before."
Oh yes, she knew his body. The majority of scars she could relate to an injury she had treated herself. She knew his weaknesses, few as they were: the tendency for muscle stiffness in his lower back and the periodically returning pain from his cruciate ligament, probably a consequence of his early hockey career. Other than that he was in perfect shape, although it was beyond her how he kept that body-fat-percentage given his diet. Maybe he did in fact listen to her advice sometimes. And he had been military all his life, so keeping in shape was drilled into him. He just had to be working out on a regular basis and probably with a tough training plan too, even though he never talked about it. Unlike many of the military men she had served with. So, yes, she knew that body. But she had never looked at him in any other way than professionally when he had ended up in an infirmary bed once again. Her mind had always been in professional mode, fighting to stop a bleed, concentrating on setting a bone, trying to ease the pain. Fix him. That's what he called it. He had told her once that no matter how bad things were, as soon as he saw her face he always knew he was safe, that the pain would soon be over and Janet would fix him once again. This was different. For once he wasn't in pain and she wasn't his doctor.
"Janet? You still with me?"
She smiled at him and leaned in, claiming his mouth in a tender kiss. "You feel like you need to catch up?"
His grin turned smug. "I always wondered what was under that lab coat."
"What, are you telling me you woke up in the infirmary and – ogled me?"
"Sometimes. When I could get enough brain cells to function."
"You are so in for a very nasty needle the next time I get my hands on you."
"I was hoping it wouldn't be that long until I got to feel your hands on me."
"You mean like this?" she purred and moved her hand in one firm stroke all the way from his chest over his stomach and between his thighs. His head fell back and he completely lost the smug grin.
"Oh God, Janet, please go easy on me."
"What, you're not up to it?"
He caught her wrist and fixed her gaze, and she could have sworn he was trying to muster his command look, but failed miserably. His eyes turned soft. "Weren't we talking about me catching up? I thought I might finally get to look at you."
"OK", she smiled. "Go ahead."
He sat up and looked her straight in the eye. "Are you absolutely sure about this? I mean, you're not afraid it might damage our friendship?"
She sat up, too and looked at him very seriously. "Yes, I'm sure. I'm worried about something else, though. I think I should hand your case to another doctor."
"Huh?"
"I'm talking about the doctor patient relationship. I think you might be uncomfortable with me being your doctor."
'Amazing', Jack thought. 'She turned into Dr. Fraiser right before my eyes.' He smiled at her. "I'll be fine. I've always trusted you, and I always will. Besides, wouldn't it look funny if I was treated by someone else?"
Janet had to admit that he had a point. Reluctantly she agreed. "OK,true. So, you're sure you will be OK?"
"Yes, I am. And what about you - you sure about - us?"
Her hand came up to caress his face. "Yes, Jack, I am. Now, you wanna find out what's under the dress or not?"
He cupped her face with both hands and leaned in to capture her lower lip in a soft, teasing kiss. "Yes, I do", he breathed.
For a while she simply enjoyed his hands on her body. He took his time, stroking her arms and shoulders, only brushing the sides of her breasts. He trailed soft little kisses down her neck, but stopped at the cleavage of the dress. His hands wandered to her hips and down her thighs, stroking along her legs and up again under the dresses' hem. And that was when it hit her. She tensed. No other man but her ex-husband had ever touched her like this. They had known each other since high school, and even though it turned out that he had had other women, Janet had always been true to him. So what if she wasn't what Jack expected? What if he was disappointed? He stopped touching her when she went stiff under his hands.
"Hey, what's up? Something going on that you don't like?" His voice was soft, and his eyes were too. He didn't look disappointed, just worried. Janet swallowed once.
"I feel stupid, Jack. I started this, suggesting that stupid pact-"
"That brilliant, life altering, incredibly hot and very, very pleasurable pact", he corrected her. She couldn't help her smile. But still she was uncomfortable. He moved away from her. Worry evident in his face he asked: "What's wrong? What did I do?"
"Nothing! I mean, nothing that hasn't been wonderful and sensual and hot."
"So?"
"I feel really stupid."
"OK, you said that before. Why?"
"Because maybe you'll be disappointed. Maybe I'm not what you expect. I mean – I've only ever been with one guy. Not much experience here, I'm afraid."
"Wait a minute, your ex-husband was your first and only?"
"Yes."
"OK. Look at me."
When she did, he framed her face with both hands in a firm but loving grip. He wanted to make dead sure she got his point: "Do you honestly think any guy would be disappointed at being number two in a very short line?"
When she started to smile he knew she had gotten his point. He still looked at her very seriously though. "Are you sure you want me to be that guy? That's a big deal...a lot of trust."
Her smile widened. "I couldn't think of a better man to be that guy, Jack, because I trust you completely. So, yes, I want you to be that guy for me."
He pulled her close again, and their mouths met in a careful, sweet kiss that was wonder and worship and tenderness. 'How do I deserve this?', Jack thought as he felt her surrender. Obviously she did trust him. He swore to himself that she would never regret it. "I swear nothing is going to happen that you don't want or don't like", he murmured right into her ear, and she melted into him completely. Oh yes, she would enjoy this. A lot. She lay back on her bed looking up at him, as he carefully pushed her dress up. When it revealed her panties he bowed down to kiss her hip through the thin fabric, and she immediately longed to feel his lips on her bare skin. He went on pushing up her dress until her bra was revealed, and then he finally slid it off over her head. She was gorgeous, sprawled out on her back in nothing but her dark red lingerie, all curves and soft skin. Her eyes were huge and her lips were slightly parted, and he'd definitely never seen her look this hot. He smiled at her.
"I thought I had a vivid imagination, doc, but this is way better than any fever induced fantasy I ever had."
She chuckled at the image of him fantasising about her body right after waking up from unconsciousness or sedation. She completely lost the grin when he kissed her stomach and his mouth wandered lower...she was still wearing her panties, and she wanted them off so badly she wasn't above begging. It turned out begging wasn't necessary because he started to pull them down inch by inch, kissing her every time more of her skin was exposed, and when he parted her and his mouth connected with her clit she realised she was soaking wet already. Her eyes closed and she let out a long, throaty moan. How could this be so good...how could he be so good...she gave in to his lips and tongue, her moans turning into whimpers as the sweet tension rose in her core. It took her by surprise when she heard him moan against her entrance, and that sound added to her arousal just as much as the warm, wet feeling of his tongue did. When she felt how close she was she briefly wondered at how quickly it had happened, and then she stopped thinking altogether and dissolved into little pieces as the waves of her climax washed over her. She heard herself make sounds that seemed to come from the bottom of her soul, and she just couldn't stop. She felt Jack's hand cover her as he let her ride it out, warm and solid against her sensitive flesh. She wanted to look at him, see his face, let him know how amazing this was, but she couldn't bring herself to open her eyes. A single tear rolled from the corner of her eye, and she felt him move next to her. Then his lips were there, kissing away the tear, and when she finally opened her eyes he looked at her with a slight frown.
"You OK?"
She really didn't have the words to tell him how she felt. So she simply smiled at him, hoping that he could read her, could tell that she was simply overwhelmed with his attentions, his touch, his devotion. Her sex life hadn't been that bad, but she had never felt like this. Obviously he could read her just fine, because a slow, tender smile spread on his face and he pulled her against his chest. "You look OK", he whispered against her ear, and she smiled and kissed his neck. "I am. You're amazing. Just give me a minute."
"To do what?"
"To gather my wits. I absolutely plan on returning the favour."
He let go of her and lay back with the smile still in place.
"No objections here."
It did take her a few minutes, but then she pulled herself up and started to kiss her way down from his neck, opening buttons as she went. When she opened his belt he bit his lip, letting out a low hum. Obviously he liked to feel her hands on him – and then he froze. Janet noticed the tension in his body. Puzzled at the sudden change she looked at his face. "What's wrong? What did I do?"
He let out a long breath. "Nothing. It's not something I wanna discuss now."
"If there is something you feel we need to discuss, that's OK! I mean, you said nothing was going to happen that I wasn't OK with – the same goes for you! If you decide that brilliant idea of mine wasn't so brilliant after all you have every right to tell me to get lost. You don't owe me anything, you know?"
"I'm good, Janet, really. I just don't wanna talk about it right now, OK?"
She eyed him suspiciously. "Sure?"
"Sure."
"OK."
She cautiously kissed his stomach and was relieved to feel him relax. Her hands ran up over his chest and pushed his shirt off his shoulders, then she opened his jeans, her small hand slipping down to stroke along his length. He obviously enjoyed her tenderness, and when she placed a kiss against the tip of his cock through his briefs he responded. And a minute later when his jeans and briefs were gone he responded in earnest. Janet found that she enjoyed licking and sucking him just as much as she had enjoyed his mouth on her, and she loved to see and feel and hear him react. Suddenly his hands on her shoulders stopped her. A little worried she looked up at him. His eyes were almost black, and there was a trace of command in his voice when he said: "Come here."
She moved upwards on the mattress, her eyes fixed on his.
"I want you more than I can say", he said, his voice hoarse with lust. She waited for him to indicate what he wanted. He reached behind her back and opened the clasp of her bra, and when it fell away he cupped her breasts with both hands. Janet decided she knew what she wanted, so she lay on her back and reached out for him, pulling him down on top of her. When he reached down to spread her thighs she opened them for him all too willingly, and the moment he entered her she arched her back and took him deeper. She moved against his body, urging him on, but after a while he stilled and looked at her face.
"Let me enjoy this, Janet. Let me enjoy you."
She couldn't believe how intimate that sounded, so she relaxed and looked up at him with a smile. "OK. Let's enjoy each other."
Her hands roamed his shoulders and his back, down to his waist and up his sides, and he shivered under her touch. She could tell he wouldn't be able to stand it much longer, and the smile that spread over her face turned a little evil as she started to roll her hips against him. His eyes closed and his body tensed, and he picked up the pace again. A few thrusts, Janet meeting him every time with her back arched, and he was there. He buried his face in her neck as he came, and she held him close against her until he stilled.
He carefully moved off of her body and lay down by her side. She turned her back to him and snuggled against his chest, and he wrapped his arm around her and spooned up against her back. "Give me a moment, OK?", he murmured close to her ear.
"To do what?"
"To gather my wits. Whatever might be left of them."
"And then?"
"Then? Uh, I guess I'll get dressed."
"You don't have to leave, you know?"
"Well, you don't keep a friend with benefits in your bed, do you?"
"You don't? Who made that rule?" She turned in his arms. "I'm serious. You don't have to leave."
"You want me to stay?"
"Yes. I want you close. Hold me. Sleep by my side. Have coffee with me."
"Are we still within the friends with benefits thing?"
She smiled at him affectionately. "Yes, we are. Still I'd like to wake up next to you. You OK with that?"
He moved in for a long kiss. "Of course I am. I'm here as long as you want me here."
They lay silently, Jack's arms around Janet, simply enjoying each other. After a while she stirred. "That thing you didn't wanna discuss earlier..."
He sighed. "Actually I'm still not sure if I wanna discuss it. But – I guess you deserve to know. I don't want you to think it had anything to do with you. I like you...a lot. I trust you, and I care about you." She could feel him smile against the skin of her neck. "And my earlier assessment of your hotness still stands."
She caressed his arms and snuggled closer. "I hear a but coming."
He let go of her and turned onto his back, looking up at the ceiling, deliberately avoiding looking at her. His voice was so low she almost didn't understand him when he answered her: "I never told Sara about Iraq. About – the gory details, I mean."
It took her a moment to catch up with him, but then it hit her like a hammer. "Your wife never knew – but I do."
"Yeah."
"Oh God, Jack, I…"
"I'd only just realised – at the most inconvenient of all moments. I didn't tell Sara, and she didn't press me. So she didn't know, and I could manage to forget, and we were fine. But you know."
Janet felt tears well up in her eyes, and she didn't fight them. She was crying for him, for his pain, about the bitterness and the hatred - for himself as much as for the bastards who'd – abused him. Bile rose in her throat as she forced herself to think the word. It still wasn't strong enough actually. He didn't deserve this.
"Jack, I swear I hadn't even thought of it -"
"Until I brought it up. Yeah, brilliant me."
"Hey", she touched his face, half expecting him to flinch. Like he had back then, all those years ago, when he had returned from the dead with that horrible look in his eyes. He didn't flinch now, and she was relieved, thrilled even when he actually turned into her touch. He needed her, and she was more than willing to give him whatever he needed. He sounded almost shy when he said: "I didn't think I'd be able to do this with you, but you were amazing. You made me completely comfortable, and I could let go and just...stopped thinking about it. Thank you." He softly kissed her. "I didn't think I'd be of much use to you..."
"You were obviously very wrong." OK, this might be a bit uncomfortable, but he was certainly worth a little blushing. She cleared her throat. "I mean, earlier – you were amazing. I usually...I mean...it took me months to trust my ex enough for – that."
After a moment realisation dawned on his face. His trademark cheeky smile made a reappearance.
"Really?"
"Really. I'm actually amazed at how comfortable I am with this – with you. How much I enjoyed this. Someone had a brilliant idea here."
"Yes, you did."
"Ok, so -", she said as she rolled over. " - go to sleep now."
"Yes, ma'am", he chuckled and placed a kiss in the crook of her neck. "Sweet dreams."
Smiling to herself Janet thought that she probably wouldn't have any problems with that.
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Dr. Janet Fraiser woke up to a sight of pure beauty. Jack lay on his side with his back towards her. The sheets were draped low on his hips, and the morning sun caressed the bare skin of his muscled shoulders. Her fingers itched to touch the spot between his shoulder blades, run her hand along the straight line of his spine and sneak around his waist, but she refrained. His breathing told her he was sound asleep, and she knew how rare that was for him. So she simply lay very still trying not to wake him. After a while she couldn't take it any more, so she turned onto her back and looked up at the ceiling. A genuine smile spread on her beautiful face when she realised that she'd probably wake up next to a naked Jack O'Neill a few more times in the near future. An incredibly attractive, very flirty and so not married Jack O'Neill.
She was still smiling when he stirred and turned onto his back, and she finally gave in to the urge to touch him. Her hand wandered over his chest and shoulders. He kept his eyes closed, but his lips turned into a soft smile. She placed a small kiss against the corner of his mouth and he turned into the kiss. Janet felt herself respond. He opened his eyes and tenderly caressed her cheek with his thumb. "Hey."
"Hey yourself."
"Last night was amazing, Janet."
She just smiled as he fully turned to face her.
"So, what now? Do you want me to leave?"
"I don't know, I've never done this before either. Do you want to leave?"
He turned onto his back again and gently pulled her on top of him. "I was hoping maybe you would let me...enjoy you a little longer."
She rolled her hips against him, fully aware of his morning erection. "You mean as in...", she kissed him, slow and tempting, "...'again'?"
"Yeah", he breathed, "as in 'again'."
"So let's make a rule - we make our own rules with this," she said as she buried her face against his neck and started trailing kisses from below his ear all the way to his sternum. And further down...
"Sounds good to me," he breathed. When he felt her tongue flick against the tip of his cock he couldn't keep his hips from jerking and his fists from clenching the sheets.
"Crap, Janet, take it easy!"
She lifted her head to look at his face, eyebrows arched. "Seriously?"
"I swear I won't last very long if you play it like this."
"Who said you had to last?", she grinned and turned her attention back to his cock - and as it turned out he didn't.