Title: I am

Name: Joy       

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

            Dawn and Wolf reentered the Hyperion to the blissful sound of silence. Wesley and Angel seemed to be the last ones up. "We were going to send out a search party soon," Wes said lightly.

            "I wanted to show her all the places that were important to me before we left. I figured we'd be heading out some time tomorrow," Wolf answered.

            "I'm not sure… but you're probably right," Angel said simply. "Dawn can I talk to Wolf alone."
            She considered the vampire for a minute then nodded. "I'll just head on up," she motioned and went to their room.

            "What's up Angel?" the teen asked softly.

            "I talked to Xander while you were gone. The sweeper that Lorn called has already been through. There were no bugs found at the Summers other then the ants in the kitchen," Angel joked. "Sorry…I'm trying to work on my humor… There was one found at Spike's crypt. We're assuming its there because the Council feels certain that is where Buffy and Spike would be meeting. From what I understand Buffy and Spike's break up would have been filmed there."

            "Why are you telling me this?" Wolf asked.

            Wesley looked him over. "The Council believes one of two things. Spike's left town or he's living with Buffy. They are probably keeping fairly close tabs on the vampire. We theorize the Council will try to control Spike in some way. Since his chip is now gone they might taint Spike's blood in some way to control him. We'll give you a supplier to get blood from for Spike. Let him pick up his as usual but then you switch it out."

            "Why is it important for Spike to be kept out of the loop?"

            "Spike and Buffy would go ballistic on the first Council member or agent they encountered if they knew they were close. If they know the Council is possibly actively screwing with their lives…Hell hath no fury stuff," Angel commented.

            "So I switch out his blood… Am I supposed to keep tabs on where he goes myself? See if anyone suspicious is hanging about?" Wolf asked.

            "More then that…" Wesley said slowly. "We want you to make yourself available to the Council to 'corrupt.'" Wolf eyed him with great suspition. "You are the perfect person for them to have on the inside. We were planning on springing the idea on your new family tomorrow but we wanted to make sure you would be willing before we did."

            "Keep talking," the young man said stiffly.

The former watcher breathed deeply, "If the Council recruites you, you'll be asked to keep track of specific happenings in the house. If they want to know times and dates of things, call here immediately. That would indicate they are attempting to kidnap Buffy. We'll give up a cell phone for emergencies. More then anything we need you to keep track of what information they want. But under no circumstance let them know we here in LA have any idea Buffy is pregnant…at least for a while. And never mention Father Gabriel or Faith. We have to keep them safe."

            "Basically I'm the double agent and I'm to leave the details out of my reports to the Council about Buffy and Spike. If I do that at the beginning they'll know."

            "That's why the blood is important," Angel interjected. "If you're say the one that gives the formula to spike the blood with to the butcher then you're in their good graces. At the same time you can replace the blood in the fridge with blood that is safe."

"This is going to go on for months…years?" the teen asked.

            "We really just have to worry about the pregnancy and information about it. If we can convince the Council that Buffy isn't pregnant for another couple months than all their plans will go into effect after the baby has arrived. Hopefully we can successfully continue to have the Council believe Buffy is pregnant after the baby is born so Hope can be relocated in that time," Wesley answered.

            Wolf looked the former Watcher in the eye, "No… I won't help you take Hope from Buffy and Spike. If they want to protect her, that is their prerogative as parents. If they say they want to run with your plan then that's fine but I won't box them into a corner so removing Hope is the only option left to them."

            "I'd kill you if you took Connor," Angel commented. "It doesn't matter how good the intentions are."

            "Fine… I'll present the plan tomorrow morning and we'll see." The three men stood nodded at each other and headed to bed for the evening.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            The man with the purple eyes appeared in Buffy's dreamscape. "What are you doing here Love?" she asked.

            "A warning… The child… She will be what you already know she is… but she will be more… Look." The dark haired man with the wide eyes that had led Spike to her and Wolf to Dawn was now helping again. From what Buffy had gathered from their earlier experiences together this being was Love…or at least the embodiment of it.

            "I thought you were restricted to…well… romantic love," she said to him.

            "Partly but not entirely… Your love made the child… Now watch."

            The sandy beach that Buffy had wrestled the original slayer stretched out before her. "Why am I here?" Buffy asked.

            "To learn."

            She took in the landscape and saw the original slayer approaching. Then the night cut the beach in two as a dark figure approached that Buffy did not recognize. He strutted forward like Spike did at the same pace as the slayer. So they stood next to each other, the slayer and the dark figure. And on the sand there was a line where the day met the night and it stretched out forever.

            "Who are you?" Buffy address the dark figure.

            "No name. I live in the action of death, the blood cry, the penetrating wound that flows life. I am destruction. Absolute ... alone… Vampire…The first," he said as he let his fangs glow in the moonlight.

            The slayer and the vampire did not look at each other, as they stood parallel to one another facing Buffy. The slayer straightened her arm out to reach the edge of the darkness and the vampire reached to the edge of the light. And as their hands met on the line that held them apart their eyes glowed purple. A clap of thunder sounded as the lightening struck the ground before them. And there stood a child.

The child stepped toward Buffy and said, "I am Hope… I am Destruction… I am End… I am Beginning… I am Life… I am Death… I am Dhampire… I am Slayer…"

            Buffy stared as the winds whipped around the child in a funneled cyclone. Then legions gathered in the darkness as well as the light. Then a series of people in the light touched people in the dark and the line began to turn gray. And from the ground there came children pushing through the sand. In a unified voice they cried, "We ... are ... alone!"

            The original child was still surrounded by the unrelenting winds. "ENOUGH!" she cried and the air ceased to move as the sand fell like rain to the ground. She walked to Buffy and said, "I… AM… ALONE!" Then lightening struck the ground between them.

            Buffy jumped as she straightened her body in bed. "Buffy?" Spike said with panic in his voice. "What? Luv? Oh my god."

            The slayer shook her head trying to get rid of the remnants of the dream and tried to figure out why Spike looked terrified. "What?" Suddenly she felt something trickling out of her nose. "It's just a nose bleed," she said to Spike's retreating form.

            He returned with a wet washcloth. He looked serious as he wiped her nose but then turned her head so he could wipe the blood that was coming out of her ear. "Ear bleeds aren't as common," he said softly. "Does your chest hurt?"

            "What?" she asked.

            Spike picked Buffy's nude body up and carried her to the bathroom, turning on the light. He went to set her down but realized that her feet were burned. "What the hell happened?" he whispered. His arm at Buffy's back felt wet. Spike pulled her hair aside and saw lacerations with sand imbedded in them. "Buffy, tell me what happened!"

            Buffy blinked a few times as she saw herself in the mirror. Her nose had been bleeding and so had both ears. She looked down at her body to see her burned feet with the black streaks going up her legs. Spike sat Buffy in his lap on the toilet. "Luv, I'm going to run a cold tub and I'm going to get some disinfectant and get the witches up okay?"

            "Don't leave," she whispered.

            "I could carry you downstairs but I'd have to throw something on you. I'm afraid it might hurt."

            "Its fine…but don't leave me."

            "What's got you so scared? That was a stupid thing to say…you were asleep and got chard… Tell me what happened," Spike pled.

            "Take me to Willow and Tara… I'll tell you all at once," Buffy said with a glazed look. Spike nodded and picked up a t-shirt from the bathroom floor. He gently pulled it over her head.

            In less then a minute Spike was pounding on Willow's door. "Come on Red… Open up. Need some help here."

            Willow threw open the door and said, "I'm never going to get a decent night's sleep, am I?"

            "No… Is Tara here?" he demanded. Willow turned a bit pink. "Good, then I won't have to pound on her door too." Spike barged in carrying Buffy.

            "What's wrong?" Tara asked sleepily sitting up in bed.

            "I'm not sure… Buffy woke up with a start. Her feet are burned. Her ears and nose were bleeding. Her back is cut up right good with sand in all the cuts… It had to be some sort of magic because I was laying right next to her and nothing happen to me," Spike said as he sat her on the bed gently. "Luv?" he said stroking her cheek. "I'll be right back with some stuff for the burns and cuts."

            Willow stared at Buffy as she stared into space. "What happened Buffy?"

            "When Spike gets back," the slayer replied.

            Spike returned to his wife's side and began to dress her injured feet. "Now luv, tell us how this happened."

            "The purple eyed guy showed me something… He showed me the creation of dhampires but he showed me Hope. He mainly showed me the power she could wield. In the dream she was created as the lightening hit the sand. She was in the middle of a twister and her little body didn't move. She commanded the wind to stop and it did. She said all this stuff then she walked to me." Buffy was still staring into space but she had begun to cry. "The last thing she said was, 'I am alone' then a lightening bolt hit between us."

            "The sand?" Spike asked.

            "You've never told him about your dream where you fought the original slayer, have you?" Tara said quietly. Buffy shook her head. "But that is where you were, wasn't it? You were in the desert again?" Buffy nodded. "Was the original slayer there again?" The slayer nodded.

Willow and Spike nodded for Tara to continue. Somehow Tara having been dragged into the original dream helped draw out the details of this one. "Was there someone other then the slayer and Hope there?" Buffy nodded. "Who?"

"No Name…Vampire," she said shakily.

"The original vampire?" Tara asked. Buffy nodded.

"Do you remember what the original slayer said about herself? 'I have no speech. No name. I live in the action of death, the blood cry, the penetrating wound. I am destruction. Absolute ... alone… The Slayer…The first.' Do you remember?" Tara coaxed. Buffy nodded again.

Spike sat fascinated having known none of this had occurred. "Did he tell you something similar?" the words slipped from his lips softly.

"Yes."

"What did he say?"

Buffy looked at Spike in awe. "Almost the exact same words… except the end."

"What did Hope say?" he said softly.

Buffy spoke with a dry throat, "I am Hope… I am Destruction… I am End… I am Beginning… I am Life… I am Death… I am Dhampire… I am Slayer…"
           

"What does it mean?" Willow asked.

"I think my daughter is pissed that she'll be alone. Never be part of either world," Spike said simply stroking Buffy's hair. "Either that or someone has done a hell of a mind screw to get the parts to match."

"Maybe it's neither," Tara said and held her hand over Buffy's stomach.

"Hey!" Spike snapped snatching Tara's hand away.

"Let her," Buffy pled with Spike.

Tara ran her hand over Buffy's abdomen again. She looked at Buffy and said, "When we were in the desert in the first dream, we weren't really there. I wasn't really in your head…but I knew what happened afterwards."

Buffy looked at the blond witch with wide eyes. "I fought with the original slayer in the sand but when I woke up I had no bruises or cuts."

"That's right… This space was real. So, there is probably a messenger like I was that was really there too," Tara commented. "She was the speaker for your daughter…not your daughter."

"Did you recognize her?" Willow asked.

Buffy shut her eyes and focused on the child, what she looked like. "Hazel eyes… blond hair…"

Willow's eyes went big, "What else Buffy?"

"Around six years old."

Willow almost smiled, "Its you Buffy… You saw yourself… You spoke for your daughter because she's in you." Spike looked confused.

"When I went in Buffy's head last year to get her out of her catatonic state I met her younger self." Buffy and Spike were still staring and Willow like she was nuts. "It makes sense. Well it sort of makes sense… All your injuries could be explained if the lightening hit near your feet and the force threw you back onto the sand…In fact waking from the incident probably caused the injuries to remain because the dream wasn't resolved."

"I don't get it," Spike said with little patience at this point.

"We all had dreams where the original slayer attacked each of us in some way. Xander lost his heart, Giles's brain got hacked, and I couldn't breathe. If you hadn't resolved the dream we all would have been dead because of what happened to each of us in our own dream," Willow explained. "You have injuries because the dream didn't finish."

Spike shook his head, "I still don't see that as not meaning Hope isn't pissed she's going to be alone."

"I'm not reading that from her," Tara said calmly.

"But that is in me," Buffy whispered.

"Right," Willow nodded. "You always felt alone because of the whole slayer thing."

"And my death just made it worse," the slayer agreed.

"It's true that she's alone…the only that has ever been. But the power of the reaction was fueled by your feelings, not Hope's," Tara said lightly. "I think if anything the words she uses to describe herself shows she has a pretty good grasp on the internal dichotomy of what and who she is."

"If at six she can command nature, we're going to have issues as parents," Spike said to Buffy as he stroked her face.

"Yeah well… wait till she's Dawn's age," Buffy joked back. They smiled at each other for a moment before sharing a chaste kiss.

"Lets get your body healed so we can all get some sleep," Willow said as she pulled Buffy's shirt up. Spike and Buffy just held hands as the witches worked into the night.

TBC…