A/N. I don't know why but I found this chapter was awkward or weird (IDK) to write, I'm still not sure how I feel about it tbh but I wanted to post it because then I can move onto the next one which was way easier lol.
He opens one eye lazily and frowns immediately. He's staring at an empty pillow and a thrown back sheet. He sits up, suddenly alert, "Rach?"
There's a silence and he swears, where the fuck's she's decided to go? His stomach drops as he takes in her lack of shoes and Defying Gravity rings out in the small room when he tries calling her cell. Muttering to himself he yanks on his own sneakers, grabs his keys and bangs out of the door.
"Rachel?" He glances around the dirty ass car park and scowls when he gets no response, he's beginning to seriously rethink the jokes about Jason waiting on them last night. What if someone's got her?
A zombie?
Jason X?
Finn.
The last thought actually makes him feel the most sick.
And what if she left last night when she was all drunk and crazy? What if she hitched a lift with some horny creeper? Or someone came in and took her? Granted he's not a massively heavy sleeper and he's willing to bet Rachel would have screamed her head off if she was being dragged somewhere but what if she'd been unconscious? What if he'd been drugged?
And why the fuck is he being such a girl about all this? He's used to girls not being there when he wakes up; hell normally he prefers it that way. But this is different- and not just because they're on the road in the middle of nowhere together. But because she's all in his head and under his skin and he doesn't like thinking she's gone, or that he might maybe miss her with something like a constant ache in his head if he doesn't find her.
He's got a shit load of missed calls and messages from other contacts listed as he scrolls through just looking for one from Rachel. He ignores them all. Frankly he doesn't give a fuck if Sam tripped over his own shoe lace and hit Artie on the back of his head with his guitar or if Santana's bored in third period now he's gone. He cares about finding the only person who hasn't text him or left him voicemails in the last twenty four hours.
He rounds the back of the motel and stops dead.
"Christ Rachel!"
She's sitting on the edge of what has to be the most disgusting looking pool he's ever seen- and he's seen a lot of crap cleaning them over the summer. But this one takes the cake. There's a trolley in one end, a teddy bear's head, beer bottles, a plastic table, about three umbrellas, a mop, a couple of footballs and grime up the sides. Her hair's covering most of her face as she swings her legs over about a meter of gross, muddy water and she looks freaking adorable practically drowning in his sweater and very little else.
He's irrationally pissed off considering she's alive but fuck she scared the shit out of him and he strides towards her crossly, "what the hell?"
"Good morning to you too Noah," she says quietly, glancing up with a small smile.
"Good morning? Rachel you fucking disappeared- I thought you'd been kidnaped by King fucking Kong!"
She raises her eyebrows, "that would be highly improbable don't you think?"
"Yeah but- you know- I- look you can't do shit like that," he says finally, scrubbing a hand through his hair, "what if your dad's had sued?"
"Well that depends, did I leave of my own free will or did someone else kidnap me?"
He grins, anger slowly dissipating, "shut up, you wouldn't have liked it if I'd disappeared."
"No that's true," she says quietly, "I apologise."
Her eyes glaze over and his anger dissipates when he realizes he's got thoughtful Rachel and he stops a couple of feet away from her, "what are you doing out here?"
She lifts up one shoulder casually and narrows her eyes as she looks at him, "I was just thinking."
He snorts and sits down next to her, the morning air just this side of chilly, "crappy place to be getting philosophical Rach."
They're silent for a second and she kicks her legs out, pointing her toes. He's fascinated by the way her legs just kinda go on and on and she's got this pretty pink nail varnish on- shut up, he just notices shit like that with her- and her toes look cute which is weird cos toes aren't normally a thing for him but-
"Did you hear what I said Noah?"
He blinks, dragging his gaze from her feet, "uh yeah, um," he hazards a guess, "you're cold?"
She bites her lip, smiling, "no I said are you hungry?"
"Oh!" He grins, leans back on his hands, "I'm always hungry."
"I believe you," she says fondly. She can't help it, he looked so cross and worried when he came hurtling around the back of the motel shouting her name and then so relieved when he'd spotted her; it had kind of taken her breath away. She hadn't meant to creep out and scare him but she's always awake at six am sharp, no matter what she's done the previous night and she was getting restless by half past. There wasn't any paper or even a television in the room and she'd not wanted to wake him… He'd looked so content and peaceful, arm curling over the spot where she'd been sleeping; she'd had to get out just to avoid leaning over and touching him.
They look at one another for a second and she can feel the intensity of his gaze, even as she turns away.
"Rach," and the note of concern in his voice makes her shiver. He hesitates, seemingly wrestling with something in his head and then he repeats her name and asks, "are you ok?"
The tile beneath her comes away easily as she picks at it and she doesn't respond; concentrating on turning up the blue plastic instead of meeting his eyes. His hand stills hers and she's caught off guard, "I'm fine." He scoffs and she sighs, tilting her head back and considering her words, "I feel a little bit like I'm at a crossroad."
Noah's eyebrows raise, "well we are on the road at the moment."
She rolls her eyes at him and he smirks but then his face falls more serious, "no I get that."
"But you don't, not really. You aren't like me Noah; you don't ever put yourself first." He thinks maybe he should protest at that but she doesn't give him a chance to interrupt. "But I- I just want so much out of life. I know I'm selfish, really I do."
"Rachel-"
"And I know what everyone says about me. I do want things to be about me but I feel like… If I don't push for things then I'll sink! I'll never get what I need to rise above everything else. You know that if Mr Schuster had his way we'd sing classic eighties rock every week and I'll die on that stage wearing trainers and a shirt that compliments everyone else's, singing to people who pretend to be my friend but secretly wish I'd trip and fall on my face! I don't want that Noah. I don't want to blend in; I want to stand out."
"You do," he says softly.
"But I don't think everyone else understands that I want them to do well too. I truly want us to succeed as a team but every time I-" she stops and shrugs, "every time I even make a suggestion they have something prepared about what a ridiculous waste of space I am- about how much I let them all down so, so what's the point of trying?"
Puck doesn't know what to say; she has a fucking point. Not one member of their group ever really seems to put themselves out there to let Rachel know she's doing a good job or that she's appreciated and despite the fact they were all supposed to be a team, no strike that, Shuh always claimed they were a freaking family, the more Rachel commented on how underappreciated she felt, the more she became isolated. So yeah, what the fuck was the point of trying to keep going in a family that acted like they didn't really want you but kept you because on occasion they figured they needed you?
His head hurts trying to figure out an answer for her and shit he can't believe she's been dealing with all this for months. No wonder she does the whole storm out thing so much. And yeah hey, she doesn't help herself sometimes but jesus, no-one else is helping her out either. Not even Finn will ever stand up for her. It makes him want to pound that kid's face in even more.
Finally he leans to the side and bumps his shoulder gently against hers, "none of the greats had it easy Rach. You don't want your life story to read, throughout high school everybody loved her and she never learnt anything. You need the hard shit to keep you tough."
She huffs out a laugh and rests her head against the shoulder he hasn't moved, "but what if I'm not tough?"
He grins and looks down at the top of her head, "what are you kidding? It takes a lotta nerve to tell Noah Puckerman to do anything- and you boss me around all the time!"
"That is true," she says with amusement, "but that might because I'm not afraid of you. You make everything less scary really."
"Yeah," he raises one eyebrow at her, "I have that effect on people; from far away I look like a total badass but up close I'm all soft and understanding and I write poetry and talk about my feelings and-" she shoves at his arm.
"Alright stop it! You're a total jerk and you can stay that way if you want." She stands and tugs on his sweater, pinching his arm, "can we please go and get some coffee?"
"Ouch yeah woman," he bats her hand away, "just so long as you stop that. Christ I swear by the end of this trip I'ma be all black and blue."
She sticks her bottom lip out and clutches her hands together, mocking him and he reaches out to flick her just as she dodges out of his way, dancing backwards, "poor baby- getting beaten up by a girl."
"Shush your mouth," he dives at her again and she shrieks before darting to the side, sticking her tongue out. He shakes his head, "mistake Rachel. You wanna play this game? Cos I'm unbeatable."
She puts a hand on her hip and cocks her head, "oh really? Last one back to the room pays for breakfast."
And before he can argue or suggest anything different she sets off across the shitty backyard and disappears round the front, "what the fuck?" He yells, sprinting after her, "cheat!"
"Oh deal with it Puckerman," she tosses behind her as she sails towards the door. She's fast for someone with such tiny legs and with the head start he has no hope of catching up but he doesn't quit. He runs right at her when she starts jumping up and down in celebration outside their door and catches her round the waist and powers on through. They stumble down the open corridor for a moment, breathless, until they finally come to a halt.
"You cheated," he mutters in her ear.
She turns, her face hot from running and his close proximity, "I gave you fair warning," she says easily, "sometimes that's all you get Noah- your reflexes should be faster."
He swats at her lazily, "watch it, I could leave you here you know."
"Perhaps I could make a living working at the establishment from last night," she muses as he opens the door.
He snorts, "I don't think they'd have you back babe- you uh kinda got up on the counter and danced around like a moron."
Her mouth drops open in horror, "I did not!"
"Yup- sang an entire album of ABBA songs too."
"I didn't- you can't possibly-"
"Psych," he interrupts, grinning at her. For a second she doesn't move and he strolls into the room satisfied that he's finally got her.
They don't have much crap to repack and he throws it all in the truck while she examines a map outside the motel.
He leans over her shoulder to read it, although he's not sure what she's looking for, he knows where they're headed and eventually he pulls away because he's finding the urge to just lean forward and kiss her cheek or something, really strong.
"Get your ass in the truck Berry."
She clucks her tongue at his command but despite herself, clambers into the truck.
They only drive for about a quarter of an hour before he pulls over and grabs her hand on a whim, tugging her into the diner he's spotted.
"Oh man I need like five coffees yesterday."
She's trying not to begin overanalyzing him holding her hand and forgets to comment until they're sitting down and both her hands are safely back in her lap. Her phone beeps and she jumps, she'd almost forgotten there was other life out there.
Puck raises an eyebrow as she glances down at her cell and he sees her frown, "who's that?"
She rolls her eyes and shoves her phone back into the depths of the pocket of Noah's hoodie, "Mercedes. She demanded to know why I haven't been in rehearsals as they needed someone to tell Mr Schuh that we can't do a Queen number. She feels that it would be tacky after Vocal Adrenaline have already done one themselves."
Puck shrugs, "she can tell him so herself."
"I can't text her that back!"
"Sure you can," he gestures, "gimme, I'll do it."
"No," she laughs, her heart feeling lighter suddenly; she doesn't owe these people anything and even if she isn't ready to say it to them, she's touched Noah would do it for her.
"Fine," he grins, "I'll just jack it off you later when you least expect it."
"Yes that's you," she says, narrowing her eyes teasingly, "a stealthy ninja."
He sticks his tongue between his teeth as he grins, "you know it." The waitress shimmies over and breaks up the staring match they've begun and Noah groans with relief, "coffee!" Rachel tries to distract herself from thinking how attractive he'd looked smiling at her like that and stirs the lemon in her hot water.
Puck scrunches up his nose, "the hell did you order that for?"
"It's good for me."
"It looks like it tastes like shit."
This is more familiar territory and for a few minutes they bicker about healthy food options versus things people actually like to eat.
When Noah's pancakes arrive he wiggles his eyebrows at her as she eyes them over her own choice; bran cereal. She caves and sticks her fork in one of his syrup covered pancakes two minutes later and moans at how good it is.
Puck's pretty sure she has no idea what she sounds like and if it were anybody else he'd be castrating them for eating his food but damn something about her doing it so easily- like they take food off each other's plates all the time- paired with the blatant sex noises she's making means he doesn't have the power to speak, let alone act outraged.
"You're right," she says smirking, "those were delicious."
"Yeah," he says gruffly, "well next time order your own. I don't share well."
His gaze his hot and possessive as it meets hers and she feels grateful the check arrives in time to prevent her from leaping across the table and doing something quite improper.
Stereophonics' Language Sex Violence Other runs as their soundtrack for the morning and they're both quiet for an hour, letting Kelly's gravelly voice wash over them. It's only when the lyrics for Rewind get too much for her contemplate that she switches it off.
"Where are we?"
He glances in his rear view and then over at her, "'bout an hour past Toldeo."
She blinks in confusion, "but I thought we were going to Cleveland! I knew I didn't recognize this landscape. Noah where on earth are we going?"
"Woah woah woman one statement at a time! You put me off Cleveland with all your bitching yesterday. I switched it up is all."
"Well- where are we exactly?"
He shrugs, "near Temperance."
She sits up in her seat excitedly, "we're near Luna Pier?"
"Uh yeah?"
"We should stop," she exclaims.
"Why? That place is like, dead."
"I like seeing the ocean," she says softly. And fuck now he can't say no. How does she have this power over him? It's like he's got control of his emotions one minute and then she says something like that, even something so small and unassuming and he's gone again.
"Fine," he grumbles, "but we're not staying long. Wanna get to Marilyn before it gets dark."
She giggles, "look at you being all responsible."
"Watch it Berry, don't go throwing big words around. I aint being responsible- I just hate drivin' in the dark."
Rachel rolls her eyes, she has no idea why he's so against the idea he's actually a good person- more than that in fact- but she bites her tongue. She knows however much he lets her get away with; he does have a breaking point.
She's right of course. Ask anyone and they'll admit it; Rachel Berry's almost always right. She learns all about Noah's breaking point several hours later when she's left standing in a public car park with no shoes and Noah's tail lights disappearing down the road.