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Disclaimer: If any of you people are mean enough to sue a person for the clothes on their back, remember…if it's leather…kinky…and their name is Riku…Tell them to keep the god damn thing on!

"When someone thinks that things can't get any worse…look out,

because 'worse' may be just around the corner" –Riku Kitara

Chapter 4: No Touchy?

RIKU'S POV

"Riku?"

I let loose a small 'eep' and involuntarily move backwards…damn…Leon is such a tight ass when he's angry! His eyes flash daring me to try and run.

I gulp.

Hell, even if I did try to run Leon could and would tackle me, leaving me in worse condition than I was before. A picture of me falling helplessly to the floor as a rabid Leon mugs/strangles me flashes through my head…(1) Now probably isn't the right time to be thinking about this…probably scare myself even more.

Quick, he said something to you! Answer him! Say something…something cool, something snazzy. Just say SOMETHING!

"Y-yes?" I laugh nervously trying to see some humor in the situation, obviously it doesn't work because Leon's glare becomes more intense…So much for snazzy.

"Riku…" A chill runs up my spine as I snap out of my thoughts. Leon's body is now next to mine, his mouth is just barely grazing my ear as he whispers into it…hell if I wasn't scared shitless I'd be pretty turned on right about now. I can see why Cloud likes him so-No! Damn it Riku! He's your boss.

"Riku?" He says just a bit louder.

"Hmmm? I choke out.

"Don't get yourself into any more trouble, especially with Sora. If anything happens to him Cloud will leave me…no matter what he does…you will not harm him! I mean it Riku, or so help me god I will rip your balls off so it will be impossible for you to ever molest people again."

One word people. INSANE! That's all there is to it…Leon is insane with a capital I. The part that I find the most concerning is that I can picture Leon going through with his threat.

"If that kid complains about anything involving you, then I'll see to it that your punishment is just. You aren't going to scare this kid off like the last one!"

Last one? Oh yea…what was his name? Wakka? Yea, heh, he came to work here and I started to hit on him. I pushed him into the nearest closet (good times) and started to feel him up--Turns out the dude wasn't gay and freaked out when I tried to kiss him. He punched me in the face and ran out of the store…I haven't seen him since then.

"Well, what if he comes on to me?" I ask flashing my trademark smirk.

Leon gives me one of his many 'looks', this look (unlike the rest) clearly screams, 'stop joking, and take this seriously.' So, not wanting to die at such an early age the cocky smirk falls from my face and a look of pure concentration appears, sadly I am not concentrating. But does Leon know that….pht…No!

"I-I shouldn't have said that." I say in a low voice, my eyes fall and aren't looking into his own. Instead they fall to his lips, which are now in a light smile…whoa…Holy Fuck!

" No Riku, don't joke about this…okay?"

I nod my head.

"U-um Leon?"

Looking over to Sora I see him on the floor with a very cute look on his face and remember we're still sitting on the floor.

"Yes Sora?"

"Can we please go inside the store? I'm sure this isn't helping your business any, we're blocking the entrance with our lard asses."

Lard asses? Hmm…lard asses; it's kinda catchy…Fun to say too.

"Spoken like a true Harada, but can you walk?"

As the two brothers and Leon talk about the joys of walking, I begin to formulate a plan…a plan so evil, so diabolical, so…so…whoa, whoa, whoa…Cloud's picking Sora up? Where the hells my free ride? Why can't he walk? I didn't hit him that hard…did I?

Cloud leans toward his brother and picks him up bridal style. Ok, this is wrong! Immoral! His head is fine, only a little scratch and blood. My nose is oozing blood. It's broken, I know it is.

It's not fair. So unfair I decide to let Leon know.

"You damn bastard monkeys…always forgetting about me." I grumble, crossing my arms. What is a bastard monkey you ask? Well, monkey is a fun word to say is it not? And bastard is a title fitting for both Leon and Cloud (not my precious Sora…he's the Love Pig…I'll explain that one later) they both suffer from being uptight bastards, Leon with a stick up his ass, and Cloud with Leon up his…MENTAL IMAGE! Right……back to the complaining. "I'm in worse condition than he is! And everyone forgets Riku…typical."

"Oh shut up." Leon hefts me up and over his shoulder. "Will you stop complaining?"

Complaining? Complaining! I Riku Kitara am not complaining…am I? "Holy Fuck!" I freak. Leon, the meanest fuck on earth, but also a very attractive leather-clad sex machine, is touching me! I don't know whether I should get naked and hump him or try and get loose. He probably wouldn't like me humping him, so I decide on the later.

"Put me down!" I pound uselessly on his back, but it is to no avail, he continues.

"Where should we go Leon?" Cloud asks. I hate him…I hate him so much! Cloud is…he's…argh!

I. Can't. See. A. Damn. Thing. Leon has my butt in his face (a lovely view I'm sure, since I'm so sexy) while I get a lovely view of…nothing.

"Go in my office."

Great. The office. For those of you who don't know what 'The office' means…it means I'm screwed, we only go in there if we're in trouble.

Not being able to see ahead of me I m forced to take in the sights of what Leon can't see…behind his back. To my right is the shoe section and CD racks. To my left is the clothes section where a little girl and her fat, fat, fat, fat, humongously fat, mother are searching for clothes.

Of course the kid is nosey (like most little kids) so she stares at me. I guess seeing a guy with a bleeding face thrown over another guys shoulder is new to her…it's new to me too. Anyway, not being able to control myself (due to my bad mood), my arm pops up, as does my middle finger, and my tongue comes out of my mouth…Brat.

"Mommy!" I can hear her squeal. Fucker. Didn't mommy ever tell you it's impolite to stare? Aw shit. She's looking right at me! Her face reddens and she stomps over to Yuffie who is working behind the cashier. I'm screwed…oh well. I can always buy Yuffie of with some chocolate.

Soon we enter the hallway…don't think I've ever traveled down it backwards before, so things I hadn't noticed before pop out at me…mainly the spread of Leon posted to the back of the door from his modeling days.

Hu…funny…Never seen it before, apparently Leon hasn't either. And I call myself a man, how the hell did I not see that? Ah well, who ever did it will have hell to pay, and for once in my life it wasn't me.

"Cloud wait up." Leon stops. Why'd we stop? This sucks. I shift my arms so my elbows dig into Leons back and support my head…I think he deserves it.

"Hey." Immediately following Leons 'hey' a scream that could only be Reno, is heard.

"Reno…shut up!" That's Vincent, I know it is!

"You two are obviously not doing anything productive so come help me with this." Leon moves his shoulder and pulls me further on…pay back's a bitch (elbows?)." Finally we start moving only to come to a stop in front of Sora, looking cute and molestable.

Goddamn, I can't have him. Curse you Sora!

Although he is blushing…no! He's teasing you! He knows your weakness…or he doesn't. I frown at him.

I hear the door open and we move inside.

"There…we're here." Leon drops me on the couch.

"Well geez thanks…but you missed the floor, I hit the couch."

"Shut up." Leon moves to sit behind his desk. I hear Sora giggle and look over but can't find anything funny. I do however look up as Reno and Vincent join us.

"Alright…what happened? Should I fire anyone?"

Fire! My eyes widen. He can't be serious! He knows I need the money! That's it, he knows so now he's using it against me. Clever Leon, very clever…just remember I know where you live. Let tonight be the last peaceful sleep you ever have!

"It isn't really his fault…I m-mean." I glance over at Sora before turning to the bastard monkey Leon.

When one is about to loose their only source of income to some prick in leather, one tends to forget to be reasonable…so like the dumb ass I am, I open my mouth.

"What he's trying to say is that I shouldn't be fired…It wasn't my fault, you heard him! No, I'll tell you who's fault it was…"

No! Don't say it mouth, don't say it! This is your brain catching up with you. Don't do it! You'll lose any chance of taking his virginity you had! Nooo!

The red haze in my mind begins to thicken.

"It's that damn twinkle toes' fault! He ran into me when I was trying to get to work!" I stand up and point half way through just to prove my point.

"Riku…" I hear Leon warn.

Oh no you don't…not this time. I spin around and take it out on Leon. "Don't you dare Ri-ku me! I've worked here faithfully for god knows how long and when I knock into someone on accident you jump me like I've murdered someone! Leon! How pathetic is that?"

"You call that knocking into someone? For Christ's sake he's bleeding Riku! Be more careful!" Oh so now the almighty Cloud has to add his two cents.

"He's bleeding? Look! Look right here!" I take my hand from my nose. "I'm bleeding too!"

"But you knocked him down!"

"He was in my way!"

"He's just a kid!"

A kid? Is he blind sexy isn't a kid. "He isn't a kid Cloud! Maybe you shouldn't treat him like—"But the words in my mouth die as Sora shouts "Stop!"

It surprises, not only me but also Leon, Cloud and he two stooges (Reno and Vincent). It must show on my face for Sora looks at me. His beautiful blue eyes widen in realization and my heart breaks as tears well up. He gives up and folds himself into a sort of fetal position, rocking forward as his hair covers his tears.

The red haze in my head disappears, and the heavy feeling in my throat and stomach grows as I realize I've hurt Sora. I made him cry.

"Sora" His brother tries. The only reply is Sora sobbing an "I'm sorry."

No. No. Don't say that. Don't ever be sorry for this. My eyes dampen as I move to kneel in front of him. Placing both hands on either side of his shirt I rest my head against his.

"Don't be." The angel in my arms looks up at me, tears still falling from his eyes. It breaks my heart to see him like this. Alas, the depression is lifted and replace with joy as Sora's eyes brighten, I can't help but smile.

The reward is one I will cherish forever. A blush stains his cheeks and a small smile shines through.

There, that's better. My hand moves to wipe the tearstains from his cheek.

"Sorry." I whisper.

"Ahem." Damn it all Leon! You sure do know how to ruin the moment! "Riku? Remember what I said earlier about Sora and the off limits thing?" I nod…how could I forget Jackass. "Well in case you've forgotten…stop flirting with him."

"Off limits?" Cloud asks.

"Yes well...the last hired help quit because of Riku's horny freakishness. To take extra precaution Riku and I had a little chat about what Sora wants and what Riku WANTS. What Sora doesn't want…" He turns to me. "…Sora doesn't get!"

Oh….ouch. That hurt.

"Wait…what?" Sora asks.

"If Riku does anything you don't want him to…just say the word and Cloud, or myself, will come running."

Good job. Go and tell him! Now I can't stuff him inside the closet and fuck him! Damn you Leon! Damn you Cloud! "This is probably because he's Clouds brother…why do the hot guys have to be off limits?"

Cloud gives me a dirty look and turns to talk to his brother. Bastard. I just hope it doesn't rub off on Sora…I'd hate to find out he's a bastard Monkey too.

"Leon?"

"Yes Sora?"

"Does that mean I can stay?"

Yea? Can he stay Leon? Please, please, please, please? We all hold our breath waiting for Leon's answer. Slowly he nods his head.

"Yea…" Sora's smile brightens. Leon turns to Cloud. "Are you happy?"

I turn to see Cloud's response…wish I hadn't. In a seductive tone Cloud says "Yep."

It's too much! My boss and hotties brother! Ah! "Oh god!" I cover my eyes, but somehow manage to bump my sore nose in the process. Ouch! While I rock back and forth clutching my nose like an idiot, Leon tells Reno and Vincent to fetch bandages and stuff…ok. That as weird, Leon knows those two will mess up, so why send them? Oh yea…alone time…ew.

"Leon?" Sora speaks.

"Hm?"

"What you said about…what you said about Riku. Do you mean it? He can't do anything I don't want him too or else?"

"Yes…"

"Well. What is or else?"

The evilest look I've ever seen appears on his face. "Oh Riku knows what it is."

So now everyone stares at me as vivid images of Leon ripping off my balls flashes through my mind. Not good…

Now if you don't have any more questions, could you two go wait in the lounge for a few minutes? Cloud and I need to talk."

Like hell you want to 'talk'! If I don't get out of here in the next 40 seconds both me and Sora will be subjected to icky Cloud's naked body…ew…besides, Sora and I will be in a room alone…with a lockable door…and a couch…and each other. I lick my lips and grab a clueless Sora's arm.

"Come on. This way."

Heh. Screw the closet. Making out on a couch is sooo much better!

(1) I would LOVE to see if anyone can put this on paper…show me your drawing skills people! I just find this funny…who knows I might give it a go as well.

Wow…what fun! Next chappy has some makey makey on the couchy couch…heh heh….okay stop repeating yourself Memories….it's not healthy, then again, would writing something this messed up be considered healthy? Oh well, I will be going on a family sailboat trip for the last week or June and the first week of July so please bear with me about posting the next chapter…don't worry I will finish it on the boat and type it ASAP…it will be posted before the middle of July….in the meantime review.