Gomen ne:
Chapter Four:
"If you go through rehab, then I'll tell you how to get in touch with Eiri-san."
Shuuichi couldn't get that sentence out of his mind—he didn't believe Seguchi, not now, not when over the past year whenever he asked about Yuki, the shacho always replied he didn't know. How was he to trust Seguchi now? Did Seguchi know where Yuki was or not?
"Stupid, he's not going to give me that information—" He sat down alone in the studio, for once he got there early since the shacho drove him in. Now he waited for Hiro and Suguru to arrive, smirking a little at the thought of their surprised faces when they saw he was early.
For the past six months he'd always been late, sometimes not showing up at all—K having given up trying to coerce him to be on time. K's method of persuasion continuously failed once Shuuichi gave up his zest for life, surrendering all to alcohol. But it took Shuuichi's saying 'just shoot me then' while K pointed his magnum to the singer's head for the blond to realize his methods wouldn't work anymore.
And Shuuichi had been dead serious at the time he said it. That K couldn't take, so he quit or at least tried to, but Seguchi wouldn't hear of it. Thus K simply gave up forcing the singer to be on time to the studio, gave up trying to force the Shuuichi to sing and just focused on getting Bad Luck appearances on the best shows.
"Fujisaki-san, there's no way Seguchi-san would agree to that…you know what he said before…." Hiro's voice drifted through the door as the knob turned.
"I know, Nakano-san, but he has to see reason one day. If Shindou-san refuses to sing, we must get rid of him." Fujisaki's voice replied as Hiro's voice turned silent. "Shindou-san probably won't even show today—he'll probably take his five day vacation early…." The keyboardist muttered bitterly, walking through the doorway with his eyes closed.
"I don't think so." Hiro merely answered, looking into the room at Shuuichi sitting at the table.
"How do you know? He's probably off catching up on his drinking—and who knows what else he does. And…." Finally Fujisaki opened his eyes and gaped at the silent singer sitting at the table. "Shindou-san!"
"Good morning, Fujisaki-san." Shuuichi said, face a mask though his mind buzzed. 'So they've been talking about replacing me, figures.'
"You're early. Did you run out of booze or are you finally focused on setting your life straight?"
"Neither. Seguchi-san drove me in today."
"Seguchi-san drove you in? And you agreed to let him?"
"I thought you hated Seguchi-san…."
"I do. He just said he'd help me find Yuki if…."
"If what? You come to work today?"
"No, if I go to rehab."
For a moment Hiro and Fujisaki said nothing, just stared at Shuuichi in surprise as the singer studied his nails uninterestedly.
"Are…are you going to take Seguchi-san's offer, Shindou-san?"
"Shuuichi, you really should…."
Shuuichi merely looked up from his nails, giving them both a 'who cares' look while his head pounded from thought and a hangover. For three minutes silence pervaded the room before he spoke.
"I haven't decided yet."
"Haven't decided? But I thought you'd do anything to find Yuki." Hiro gaped at his best friend, sitting down before continuing. "You went through our entire international tour looking for Yuki—missing some of the concerts, and now you get the opportunity to finally find Yuki and you're considering turning it down? Are you crazy?"
"Yes." Shuuichi reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded sheet of paper. "I've also realized I do better lyrics when I drink. Even Seguchi-san said they were good." The singer tossed the paper onto the table, ignoring the incredulous looks on Hiro and Fujisaki's faces.
"Are you crazy? You'll trade finding Yuki for drinking just because you can write better lyrics? God…."
"Okay, what happened to the real Shuuichi?
"He's right here." Shuuichi said through gritted teeth, eyes gleaming. "And if you think I'm still that hung up on Yuki to jump at every opportunity to find him, you're mistaken. I know when it's time to give up, even if it did take a year, I know that it's finally over between us."
With that Shuuichi stood and stormed toward the door, pushing past Hiro and Fujisaki whose looks of shock frustrated him more. He didn't need them, didn't need anyone—not even Yuki. He didn't need people who promised to be there but always turned him down, he didn't need them.
"Especially not you, Yuki. Especially not you." He growled once he made it to the restroom, his cut foot sore from nearly stomping down the hall, head throbbing with pain. "I don't need you anymore. And I get that you don't want me either." Even as he said those words, tears fell from his eyes, down his cheeks, and to the floor.
-
Head pounding from a migraine, Yuki lit a cigarette and placed it between his lips, fingers pressed against his temples. He sat in front of his laptop screen, a word processor open and ready for him to type, but his fingers refused. His whole mind refused to cooperate—even after a year his mind sought out the sounds of the brat in the silent apartment.
"Brat, your memory still haunts me, even after a year." The blond backed away from the desk and laptop, searching for a bottle of aspirin to cool his raging headache. He winced as a feeling of foreboding descended upon him as he picked up the vial. "Brat."
-
Wiping his tears from his eyes, Shuuichi stood in front of the restroom mirror, headache excruciating and eyesight blurred. Leaning against the sink, blinking his eyes to focus them, he searched through his pocket for a small vial of painkillers. A vial he grabbed a few seconds after searching and opened while looking at himself in the mirror. Two pills he took out—just two and downed them with a small bottle of whiskey, to alleviate his headache.
By the time Hiro and Fujisaki thought to look for Shuuichi the singer was already unconscious on the restroom floor, the bottle of painkillers spilled onto the floor next to him.
-
Staring at that aspirin bottle, his hands shaking from an unreal anxiety, Yuki thought he heard the brat's voice in the apartment, telling him he loved him, but that passed into silence as he strained his ears to hear. Nothing there, just silence.
Then a beep sounded through the apartment, shocking Yuki so his heart thumped in his chest.
"It's just my email—nothing exciting." He whispered to calm his thoughts and heart, his pulse rapid. Without looking at who it was from he opened the email, reading its words out of curiosity and the need to slow his racing heart.
That he couldn't achieve, for one run-through of the email caused him to pale, the cigarette dropping from his mouth.
'Eiri-san,
Come over here quick, Shuuichi has overdosed and is on his way to the hospital.
Tohma.'
"Oh God!"
A/N: End chapter