Chapter 4: Waking

Claire's POV:

After a few days in and out of consciousness, I was fully awake. Emily, Sam, and Quil were in the room with me. We tried not to talk about the accident, but the knowledge of it hung heavy in the air. Living arrangements were made. I would be staying with Quil, because if I lived with Emily, Sam, and Adam, it would remind me too much of what I had lost. With my heart being stable for now, I was released from the hospital after a few weeks. I hadn't really spoken much since that night. Only answering questions or responding to a hello or goodbye. Quil was there through it all. Through the days trying out physical therapy for my head and neck. My legs, which were both broken, we would have to wait months before they could heal enough for me to try physical therapy. Quil sat beside me and held my hand when Doctor Madison announced my injuries and what would I like to do about the funeral plans. I couldn't answer so Quil did. We didn't want to look at their mangled bodies, so cremation was the best route. I didn't want my family to be trapped in jars, so on their birthdays we will spread their ashes in the wind. Each person having their ashes spread in their favorite place in La Push. Since my sister didn't have one yet, we will release them in the woods by the beach. When Quil took me to live with him, I was embarrassed. One, because I couldn't even go to the bathroom by myself or use the stairs. I was helpless and I didn't like the feeling. Two, we were alone in that house because Quil's grandpa died years before. We left the hospital with him pushing me in a wheelchair. He had to pick me up and put me in the car. We drove in silence. He tried to make conversation, but all he got were, "Yeah, I guess, Sure, Not really, Mhmm, No," etc. When we reached his house he pulled all of my crap out of the trunk and put it in the spare bedroom. Then he came back for me. Instead of just putting me in my God damned chair, he carried me with ease into the house. He set me on the bed of my new room. It was white. All of it. The walls, curtains, bed, pillows, furniture, everything. He said it was to give me a "fresh start". None of it mattered. To everyone else I was the girl who was orphaned. To me I was the girl who murdered her family. While Quil went to get my chair, I sat thinking. Just thinking, a jumbled mess of thoughts and memories, with my family. You know the ones you don't really remember and don't seem that important until everything is gone? Yeah, those were the ones. The one I thought about the most was my sixteenth birthday. I don't really know why. Quil came back in the room then. He set my wheelchair by the bed. "Well," he said quietly, "I'll leave you to unpack then." I just nodded in response. He walked swiftly over to me. When he reached me he lifted my chin to meet his gaze. He pressed a burning kiss to my forehead. "I love you," he said. I pulled my head from his hand and looked away. I couldn't say it back like I usually did. He sighed and left the room. I knew about the whole werewolf thing, but I still didn't know how strong his enhanced hearing was. When the door was shut and I heard footsteps going down the hall, I whispered, "Why? Why do you love me?" I swore I heard the footsteps stop and come back this way. But no one came in. The memories started again. Starting from my earliest memory to the night of the crash. The faces of my family laughing at dinner, the sound of my mom puking, my dad whispering to her, my sister sleeping, then the headlights, spinning, flipping, my parents dead in the back seat, my sister screaming. By the time this memory came around I was already crying, but remembering my sister's last moments was what sent me screaming and wailing. I couldn't get to her. Suddenly, all I wanted was Quil. I wanted him to hold me, and whisper things that meant nothing but comforting me all the same. "Q-Q-Q- Quil!" I screamed, "Quil!" I realized that even though I may not want to rely on him that I still needed him. "Quil!"

Quil's POV

"Q-Q-Q- Quil! Quil!"

I heard her screaming and crying before, I wanted to go to her then. Emily told me that there would be times when she would just want to be alone and cry. I told Em I might have to leave because I didn't think I could sit there and listen to her pain. I heard her ask why I loved her, but I didn't want to tell her about the imprint yet. She had enough to deal with. "Quil!" She screamed again. I rushed into her room, what I saw gripped my heart painfully. She was on the floor, crawling towards the door. She was crying so hard she struggled to breathe. I rushed over to her, rolled her onto her back and picked her up bridal style. I laid her down on the bed and lay beside her. One of my arms wrapped around her waist and I buried my face in her hair. She gripped my shoulders tightly. I whispered things to her. "I'm so sorry," I said into her hair. "It's my fault!" She yelled. I hugged her to me, being careful not to bump her legs. "Oh, sweetheart," I said. My voice shaking. "It's not your fault. Your father shouldn't have made you drive through a storm like that when you are still so new to driving." "I reached for her," she said, "but I couldn't get to her! She screamed and I couldn't get to her!" She yelled into my shirt. Her tears soaking the fabric. I held her and rocked her, she calmed down after a while. She fell asleep in my arms. I was so grateful that I had not lost her. I pulled her closer to me. I stroked her arms and her cheek. Most of the cuts were only scabs now. She would have a scar on her chest and stomach from were glass had stabbed and cut. I think it was good that I hadn't found her because I don't know if I could've handled it. Paul and Rachel were the ones that found her first. That's another reason I hadn't phased. Paul was really bad about not thinking about this kind of stuff. I didn't want to see her like that. All bloody and broken. It was bad at the hospital, but it would have been ten times worse at the scene. Just thinking about it hurt. I looked at her sleeping form and I bent my head down and kissed her gently. Then I moved my face to the hollow where her shoulder meets her neck and I breathed in her scent. I took deep almost gasping breaths. She stirred beside me. I looked at the clock; she had slept for a good 45 minutes. I pulled back to look at her face. Her eyes fluttered and she opened them. I looked into her big brown eyes and they seemed empty almost. That worried me. Soon, she leaned forward and kissed me. It wasn't the quick sweet ones that we usually shared. I let my tongue graze her bottom lip expecting her to pull away. Instead, she shocked me by opening her mouth and grabbing fistfuls of my hair and tugging me closer. I darted my tongue in her mouth and tasted her. She tasted like apples. Just like her smell. We stayed like this for a few minutes, lips and tongues moving in sync. I pulled away first and she was gasping. She buried her face in my chest and I stroked her hair. Her heart, like mine, was pounding. I was a little freaked out for a second because of her heart problem. She seemed fine so I told her I would make dinner. It was like, 6:00 after all. I kissed her briefly one last time, then got up and headed to the kitchen.