Warning: Anxiety problems and infertility issues.

To Sacrifice the Sun

Chapter Three

September 15, 2016
17:19
ARGUS Beach House
Mayan Riviera, Mexico

Oliver and Felicity stood staring at each other for so long it was almost awkward. No…it was definitely awkward.

Horribly. Painfully. Unbearably awkward.

Standing with his hands buried deep in his pockets, Oliver's face was both impassive and intense. How he managed to be both at once Felicity couldn't comprehend, but there was a depth of pain in those beautiful blue eyes that broke her heart and she really hadn't thought there was anything left to break.

His tongue snuck out to wet his lips in a gesture so familiar, so beloved. Once upon a time it made Felicity all hot and bothered. Now it just made her…long. God, she hadn't even realized how much she had missed…everything. Him. Them. Just…Oliver.

Felicity clutched her arms until her knuckles turned white. She wouldn't be surprised if she left bruises. It wasn't to keep herself from bolting. Not this time. No, she held herself tightly to keep from throwing herself into his arms and begging his forgiveness. Anything, if it could wipe that haunted look from Oliver's eyes.

Felicity would do it too, if she thought she would be welcome. But her launching herself at him was probably be the last thing Oliver wanted. But, then again, he gave no indication what he wanted. How could eyes convey so much emotion and yet look so dead at the same time?

It seemed like forever before Oliver finally sighed and acknowledged, "Felicity," with a small nod of his head.

Okay. Show time. Oliver made that all important first move, now it was time for Felicity to talk. It should be easier now, right?

Felicity opened her mouth, but no sound came out. Her vocal cords froze, paralyzed. 'Hello, Oliver,' she repeated in her head, but it wouldn't come out. She just stood there like an idiot, her mouth opening and closing.

Because, somehow, some part of her must want to make this first meeting more painful.

And Oliver, he just…sort of deflated. He held up his hands and turned away, his movements quick. Jerky. Irritated. "You know what, I'll leave you alone."

What?! No. No. This wasn't supposed to happen. How did this happen? Frak, why was she such a spaz!

"Oliver, wait!"

Felicity unfroze in a flurry of graceless motion. She stumbled forward, almost tripping and she couldn't even blame that second margarita because she had never gotten it, and, dear lord, would that have been so very helpful right about now.

She managed to grab Oliver's forearm…because how else was Felicity going to stop him and not fall over, but then he became like stone, not moving a muscle, certainly not looking at her and, god, he was hard and warm and his arms were bigger than before, she was sure of it.

What Felicity wouldn't give to have them around her one more time.

Lord, she wished she still had the right to touch him. But right or not, Felicity couldn't seem to let Oliver go. This really wasn't going well.

There was another beat of silence, while Felicity struggled to figure out what to say next. She'd had hours to figure out what to say to him and had come up with nothing. Now she had seconds…oh no, here came the panic again.

But Oliver lost patience before the anxiety really had time to swell and he shook his head, his gaze focused away from her. His jaw tight, he told her, softly, "You don't have to do this, you know? You don't have to talk to me."

Oh, but she did. She really did. Felicity's larynx just didn't seem to agree.

"No. No, that's not it," she was finally able to force out.

Felicity had never been so fraking inarticulate in her entire life. But at least something was coming out. That was progress…ish? She was also shaking her head furiously, which Oliver couldn't see, because he wouldn't look at her. Which was, like everything else, all her pathetic fault. She didn't know what to do? What should she do?

"I'm sure we can get by with minimal contact," Oliver told her in an even tone, emotionless, almost mechanical. "Hell, they probably don't even need me on this team."

"What. That's not true!" Of course, they needed him. He was Oliver. And maybe if Felicity could come up with better arguments than just contradicting whatever he said she could convince him of that.

When Oliver finally turned his head to look at her, his troubled expression made Felicity's eyes blur. "They need you. And I'm clearly the only one you have a problem with. I'm just another Special Ops. We're a dime a dozen."

Felicity's laugh was full-on hysterical. "There's nothing about you that is a dime a dozen." Also, clearly, Oliver hadn't seen her reaction to Lyla.

That got Felicity a hint of a flicker of a softening. But then Oliver shook his head, his eyes elsewhere again. "Regardless… I'm sure they can make do with four Special Ops. It's more important that you are on-game and—"

"Stop stop stop!" He wasn't listening. Felicity needed to make him listen. "Oliver, I didn't say I wanted you off the team."

Was it crazy that after all this, now that Oliver was here the idea of doing this without him seemed even more horrifying?

Yes. Yes, it was. Felicity was insane.

"My presence is obviously upsetting you."

Yes! But everything upset her. Little did Oliver know that Felicity had turned into a neurotic mess.

"No! Yes. I mean, I don't know what I mean, but you don't upset me. Not in the way you mean." Except, she didn't know how he meant it. All Felicity knew was that none of it was Oliver's fault.

For the first time, Oliver looked her in the eye. And the contact was actually, physically painful. "I saw you run away on the beach. The message was pretty clear, Felicity."

"Oh." Frak. "You saw that?"

Well, this was officially the most humiliating day of her life. Her fingers fell from Oliver's arm. What right did Felicity have to touch him? She leaned over, burying her head in her hands.

"God, you must think me such a lunatic." And she was. Oh, she was.

"Not a lunatic." Oliver's voice softened. Of course, it did. That was the way a sane person spoke to a lunatic.

And the way Felicity laughed in response surely proved it. "Do you have another explanation? My running from you like that?" Though, really, it was as much Lyla and her baby she had been running from as Oliver, but how did she explain that? "Like a child? A crazy mentally-ill child?"

"Or a woman forced to interact with a man she hated." Despite his harsh words, Oliver's voice was gentle, forgiving.

Felicity deserved neither.

"No!" Her whole body was shaking by this point. "I could never hate you, Oliver. I…" Felicity loved him more than her own life. That was the whole problem. "None of this mess is your fault. None. It's all on me. And you…you have every right to hate me."

It was Oliver's turn to shake his head. His expression was sad. So, so sad. "Never."

There was no holding back tears after hearing that quiet vow. Felicity could remember him using that same tone in very different circumstances. And, god, how she wanted to throw herself into his arms and confess everything.

That she still loved him. That she had destroyed both their lives. That more than anything she just wanted his forgiveness. That she would do anything to make him happy again. Anything.

Felicity didn't do any of that, but she did start talking and when she did, the words wouldn't stop. Maybe that was why she was so hesitant to speak in the first place. The watershed was overwhelming.

"Oliver, what you don't understand about me, this me, this new me…is that I'm a wreck," and Felicity sounded it the way she was talking, "a train wreck to be precise. I behave irrationally, like running away on a beach when I wanted nothing more than to talk to you. I'm anxious. I have panic attacks. I hide down in The Cave for a reason. I'm not fit for the world. The real world. The Cave is this bizarre little sanctuary for mad scientists and I fit in there all too well. They barely even notice my instability. It's practically expected. Hell, we barely recognize seasons down there."

And Felicity kept talking. The words coming faster and faster, her hands flapping. A few more minutes and she'd take flight.

"But whatever crazy way I act, that's on me. Not you." Because Felicity actually had a point to this ramble. "You've done nothing to deserve any of this, never mind cause it. I'm the one that should be off the team. I'm not fit for field work. Look at me." She frantically swiped at her tears, gesturing to them, to her whole body. "We're not even in the field yet and I'm already freaking out.

"If this were any other mission, if they didn't need me for the Mayan translation crap, they wouldn't even let me back in the field. I'd never pass the psych screen. The only reason I'm here now is because they never gave me one. They really should have screened me. It was very irresponsible. And, oh my god, am I still talking? And B.T.W. my rambling has gotten much, much worse. In case you hadn't figured that out, though I'm sure you have."

So. Wow…well, now he knew.

And knowing was not half the battle.

Oliver just looked at her. Did he see anything left of the girl he'd loved? Because Felicity was pretty sure she didn't resemble her in the slightest.

But Oliver didn't look shocked. Or taken aback. He just looked sad. Contemplative. But was Felicity even seeing his real emotions? He'd probably had to learn to hide everything in his time with the Bratva. Maybe he was as different inside as she was.

"Have I convinced yet that you're lucky to be rid of me?" Felicity whimpered. Maybe humiliating herself was her brain's way of repenting her sins. Or maybe the language center of her brain was on the fritz. First not producing any output, then too much. "Please, say something or I may just keep talking." And, really, did anyone want that?

Oliver just smiled that same sad smile. Perhaps it was even sadder this time. She was starting to hate that smile. "And why are you anxious, Felicity? What made you this way?"

"You know why," Felicity cried, biting back a sob. She kept wiping away the tears, but they wouldn't stop coming. What she wouldn't give for a tissue. Or a box. To hide in.

"Tikal," Oliver stated simply.

And Felicity nodded, because goddamn Tikal. It was cursed and she wished she had never gone there and, god, she hated that place. And now she was back in the same area of the world, when she'd vowed never to step foot here again. She just wanted to go home.

"Where you were shot." Oliver actually stepped toward her and Felicity held her breath as he placed two gentle fingers over her belly. "Here."

"Yes," Felicity breathed, having trouble comprehending that Oliver was touching her. Touching her. But before she could fully wrap her mind around it, his hand was gone.

"Because of a bullet meant for me."

It took Felicity a moment to grasp Oliver's meaning. Her brain was on overload. Buffering…

When Felicity realized what he meant, she just about jumped out of her skin. No. No. No. No. No!

"So, you see," Oliver looked into Felicity's eyes and let her see the full depth of his guilt, his misery, "it is my fault."

Oh…oh…this couldn't be. Why? Why, god? Oliver didn't deserve this. She didn't even deserve this.

Oliver turned to leave and Felicity cried, "Don't go!"

She grabbed for his arm again but missed and her hand wound up closing around his. It was a complete accident, but once it happened, Felicity found herself grasping his hand like a lifeline. She never thought she'd get to hold it again, and even in these terrible circumstances, she didn't want to let go.

"That is not true. Not even a little bit."

For just a fraction of a second Oliver squeezed Felicity's hand back, turning to look at her.

This was Felicity's chance. She needed to tell him something, anything, that would make this better. "Oliver, taking that bullet for you, that's the only thing about Tikal that I don't regret."

Oliver stepped further into Felicity's space, his smile tipping up a bit more. Maybe he understood, maybe she was getting through…

But if anything, his eyes were even more haunted. Softly, Oliver murmured, "See, that's where we're different. Because that will always be my greatest regret."

His hand reached up and wiped Felicity's cheek, lingering on the wet skin, making it tingle. "You look beautiful, by the way. Not a mess." Oliver's finger traced the rim of her glasses. "Love these."

There was one breathtaking moment where Felicity actually thought Oliver was going to kiss her. At least her forehead. The way he used to…

But then Oliver smiled one last horrible unhappy smile and turned and walked away.

September 15, 2016
18:59
War Room
ARGUS Beach House
Mayan Riviera, Mexico

They gathered at 1900 hours for their pre-mission debriefing. ARGUS had a full War Room set up in the basement of the enormous Beach House. Mexican Haciendas didn't generally have basements so Felicity supposed that made this unexpected and hard to find. Though, it must be a bitch to keep from flooding during a hurricane.

The eleven of them, the eight-person team plus Cisco, Lyla, and Shado (and god, Felicity hoped Shado was there just to accompany Slade and not because they were anticipating needing to have a surgeon handy) gathered around the high projection table. There were no chairs. No one sat during strategy meetings.

Felicity always figured that it was to discourage unnecessary discussion and keep these meetings short. There was a conference table in another room if they wanted to debate. But tonight, time was not in high supply, since they were set to head out at the god awful hour of 0300 for Palenque.

So much for that second margarita. And, god, how Felicity had needed it. Though, she supposed adding alcoholism to her list of diagnoses probably wasn't wise.

After Felicity's talk with Oliver, she wandered down to the beach and collapsed in the sand, letting the ocean lap her feet. She was shell-shocked and…she had known that she had ruined Oliver's life, but she had no idea.

Just when she didn't think it couldn't possibly get worse, it did. And how had she not considered…assumed he would blame himself? Felicity prided herself in knowing Oliver better than he knew himself. She should have predicted this.

Felicity had jumped in front of him at the last possible second. She hadn't even paused to think. She just did it. It was her choice. Oliver hadn't had even a microsecond to react. She didn't remember much about that night, but she remembered that. She had relived it often enough in her nightmares.

Had Oliver been half a world away waking in a cold sweat from the same nightmare? Blaming himself for ruining her life, just as she blamed herself for ruining his? It was almost poetic in its synchrony. A tragedy worthy of Shakespeare.

But now…now Felicity had to make this better for him. Somehow convince Oliver he was blameless. Even though she had no earthly idea how.

Everyone told her to tell Oliver the truth. Even the people who had no idea what the truth was. But now Felicity feared that the truth would only compound his guilt. If Oliver blamed himself for her getting shot and developing anxiety, how would he feel if he knew that bullet had stolen their future, murdered their children before they could even be conceived?

Felicity knew how destructive that way of thinking was, how unhealthy. But she also knew that Oliver would think of it exactly that way. These last five years, this last conversation…just proved that he had guilt and self-blame down to an art form. And he had wanted those impossible children so much.

The beach was where Caitlin finally found her and dragged her back to their room to get cleaned up and ready for this meeting. There had been precious little time for conversation other than to let Cait know that whatever she had hoped would happen when Felicity talked to Oliver, hadn'thappened. In fact, nothing good had happened.

Except maybe, on the upside, Felicity was now more depressed than anxious. Was that an upside? It was easier to function and focus, so she supposed so.

When they had arrived in the War Room, Oliver was already there, leaning with his back against the wall, his arms crossed, his expression closed. Felicity could see exactly what Sara and Roy were talking about. Oliver had always had a brooding tendency, but now it looked like he'd turned that into a state of being.

Felicity had to find some way to make this better for him. She had to.

She didn't realize she was staring until Oliver turned his head abruptly, as if he could feel her eyes on him, and caught her gaze. The intensity of the eye contact shook her, but Felicity refused to turn away. She owed him too much to be self-indulgent in this. She couldn't allow him to think that she didn't want to be near him. Not anymore.

But Felicity was saved from a potentially prolonged staring contest by the other members of the team, as those she hadn't seen in years came up to greet her. Still, she could feel Oliver's eyes on her the entire time. It was a warmth, like a laser beam fixed on her skin.

Felicity wondered if he recognized her discomfort as she hugged Lyla, feeling her hard, distended belly pressed up against her. Could Oliver tell that the congratulations were genuine, but the cheerfulness was forced? There was a time when he would have known out of hand. There was a time when Felicity wouldn't have been able to fool anyone in this room. That was one thing she was glad had changed.

There wasn't a lot of time to linger before John started the meeting, which was merciful, because Felicity didn't know how long she could maintain her composure with Oliver's eyes following her as she tried not to stare at Lyla's pregnant belly and cry.

Did Oliver look at John and Lyla and imagine Oliver and Felicity in their place? The way she couldn't help but do? If that bullet had been an inch to the right…would it have been? If the Kevlar had worked? If…? Was Oliver running the what-if's through his head as well? And if he did, had the pain faded or was it still as acute as hers?

A giant map was projected onto the table and Felicity sucked in a deep breath, forcing herself to clear her mind. She pulled herself up tall and tried to focus on the task at hand.

"All right, people," John announced, addressing the group. "We head out at 0300 on the dot. Two trucks, bikes in cargo, from here," he pointed to the place they were on the map and drew a line from the shore to an area inland, before expanding the destination with a flick of his fingers. "Palenque. For those of you who don't know…" He sent a look to where Slade and Roy stood next to each other.

Slade just grinned unrepentantly and rocked back on his heels. He looked even more roguish with that patch on his eye. But poor Roy looked embarrassed, like a puppy being called out for chewing daddy's slippers. Poor puppy.

"Palenque is a well excavated Mayan City, a popular tourist site. We were able to persuade," in other words, order, "the Mexican government to close it to tourists for just over thirty-six hours for 'construction'." Digg made air quotes and it never failed to amuse Felicity when he did that. "So we have that amount of time to get in and get out and head here…"

Digg drew another line with his finger, this time into the jungle. "This is where we found what we believe is the Door to the Lost City of the Sun. Then we are here," he tapped the spot and that image increased in size, "until we figure out how to open it." As John finished, he raised his head to stare pointedly at Felicity.

Yes, lovely. Just in case there was anyone there who didn't know that this whole damn mission rested on Felicity's ability to figure out how to open a fraken unopenable door. A door that might not even be a door for all she knew. Factor in her mental health and the status of her personal life and this would be a piece of cake. Whoopee!

"And what if we can't open it?" Sara asked. In meetings like this, she was all business, her shoulders straight, her arms crossed. But Felicity recognized and appreciated the support for what it was.

John shook his head. His face impassive. "Not an option."

"What if there's nothing to open?" Caitlin pipped in. "I mean this is within striking distance of El Chichon." She pointed to the Volcano south-west of the site. "There's a very good chance that the city, assuming it existed in the first place, was wiped out by lava three thousand years ago."

Crossing his arms, John straightened his shoulders. "Then we are there until we find definitive proof that is the case."

"Look," Lyla added, her big belly pressed against the table, a strange juxtaposition to her perfect agent demeanor. "The best case scenario here is that we find a city completely covered in a hundred feet of volcanic rock. If The Gift was destroyed 3000 years ago, then Darhk can't get his hands on it. But if there is even a fraction of a percent of a chance that it's not…"

Lyla didn't have to finish that sentence. They all knew what the consequences were.

Swallowing, Felicity raised her hand, then felt stupid for doing so and just asked, "Ummm…why are we bothering with Palenque? I mean, if time is of the essence," and they all knew it was, "then just take me…um, us to the door." The sooner she got her hands on it, the sooner Felicity would know if this was all a wild goose chase or not.

"We're hoping that you will find some clue as to how to open the door in Palenque," John answered, "since it has some of the best known records of Kin Cuudad and is the closest Mayan City to the site."

"I know that," Felicity sighed, trying not to sound irritated. "I've seen them. I've studied them. It just seems…"

Like an enormous waste of time. Also, if Felicity was supposed to be the expert here, why hadn't she been consulted as to this plan?

"We've gotten you access to areas inside and under the Temple of the Sun." John shot Felicity a questioning look. "Which I don't believe you have been able to examine personally before?"

Felicity shook her head. "No." But…it still didn't seem like a prudent use of their time. She sighed. "What am I looking for?"

John shrugged. "Anything you can find to open the door."

Like a sledgehammer? That might work. It would destroy thousands of years of history, but it would still be a better bet than Felicity's translating skills.

Sara scoffed. "The door we're not even sure is a door?"

"And that I've never seen before," Felicity added, in a similarly skeptical tone, because come on, people? She had thirty-six hours to find a key to a door she'd never seen before. What did they think she'd say the magic word and it would appear? Fan-fraking-tastic. Yeah, the world was doomed.

"We do have a photograph for you." Lyla stepped forward and pulled out a rolled up poster sized picture, spreading it out over the map. "No digital images exist. We couldn't risk it."

Well, that was something at least. Everyone made room for Felicity in front of the photograph. She smoothed it out and leaned over to examine it. She had to say, it certainly looked true to the time period.

There was the familiar image of Kinich Ahau, the Mayan Sun God, carved in stone and flanked by two jaguars, his favorite companions. Below that was a large intricate design of the sun, carved deep into the stone. There were odd indentations scattered throughout the carving, smooth and deep, maybe from jade or other stones that had weathered and fallen out throughout the centuries. But it wasn't like anything Felicity had seen before. Under the sun there seemed to be a carved scene but it was cut off, out of frame of the photograph.

Felicity looked up at Lyla. "This isn't the full picture." Why the hell would they cut it off?

John leaned over to look. Lyla really couldn't, what with her enormous belly in the way, but Digg answered for his wife anyway. "That's because the rest is underground. They didn't want to raise any suspicion by bringing in a team to excavate the site further."

Great. Felicity sighed. "I'll need to see…everything. Plus, doors tend to need to be cleared to open. Otherwise…stuck."

Then, before the CO could respond to her sarcasm, Caitlin gave a small smile and turned to Curtis, "Looks like we get to play Archaeologist."

"Cool! Indiana Jones and Alan Grant all in one trip!" Curtis grinned widely and offered his hand for a high-five from Cait, who indulged him in her own dignified way.

It was a good thing someone was enthused. "Make sure there are some good shovels on the truck," Felicity told John, then looked over the others, her eyes lingering on Oliver…particularly those massive arms of his. "Some Special Ops muscle will probably be needed as well."

Oliver met her gaze and for a second it felt like she was the only one he saw. "That won't be a problem," he said and Felicity couldn't imagine that it would be. Muscle certainly wasn't something he lacked.

But then Slade pulled her attention away, adding, "Not at all." He shoulder-bumped poor Roy. "That what the new kid is for."

Felicity took a deep breath, even that small interaction with Oliver had her jumpy. There was something about looking into his eyes, bluer than she remembered…okay, job here. An important job. Focusing now.

She forced herself to examine the photograph further. The main carvings were surrounded by hieroglyphics, every available inch covered, some of them were tiny and incredibly intricate. "I'll need a good magnifier," Felicity added, while she was on a roll for demands. "I normally use my tablet, but if you don't want any digital images…"

To that, John gave her a mischievous smile, even adding an eyebrow waggle for good measure. "With that, I'll turn this over to our Engineers. Curtis, Cisco, I hear you have some goodies for us?"

"All right!" Curtis stepped forward first, rubbing his hands together with a gleeful look Felicity knew only too well. "First up: for illuminating all those dark underground spaces, I present to you, the Illumnisphere." He held a two-inch metal sphere in his palm, kinda C3PO colored, and lifted it up as if it were the holy Grail. "With a battery life of a hundred thousand hours, this baby will completely illuminate any enclosed space."

It was a lot of drama for a fancy flashlight. But then, Curtis pressed a button with his thumb and light flooded the dim room.

"Whoa!" someone said and Felicity thought it might have been Roy, but her eyes were busy adjusting as the basement went from a dimly lit secret hideout to as bright as the beach at high noon.

"You will notice that it is not too harsh on the eyes, while still adequately lighting the entire space. Perfect for translating in those dark underground spaces." Curtis wagged his eyebrows at Felicity, but all she could think was that was good, since translating in dark underground spaces had the potential for triggering debilitating flashbacks.

When he finished his presentation, Curtis turned to Cisco, leveling him with a changeling look and a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah. Yeah. The glow ball is awesome. Even better than the one I got out of the gum ball machine at Walmart. It's my turn now." Cisco pushed in front of Curtis with a swagger of his own. It seemed being in the field just escalated their antics. "Tada!"

He held a compact…device…in his hand. And, honestly, Felicity had no idea what that thing was. And with Cisco's loooong dramatic pause she wasn't sure if she'd ever know. Maybe she should try to reign them in a bit?

"Cool," Curtis finally threw into the silence, sounding anything but impressed. "That thing looks like it will be super helpful in the field. Where you will not be—"

Cisco shot him a withering look and pressed a button. The…thing sprang open with such speed and violence Felicity jumped back.

"May I present, the most advanced, the most innovative reverb bow known to man." Sometimes, Cisco said things as if we're the announcer at a wrestling contest between real-life alien superstars. Usually, it was to an audience of his Funko Pop collection, but he seemed to be enjoying performing to actual people.

But, despite the…Cisco-ness of it all, it was one damn beautiful bow and he was handing it to a stunned Oliver. Felicity had to bite her lip to hide her smile. Was it bizarre that she felt this warm rush of pride as Cisco placed the bow in his strong hand? She didn't even know what she had to be proud of, but for some reason the moment made her emotional.

Oliver turn the bow over in his hands. "It's incredible, but…" He looked up, his forehead furrowed. "Why am I taking a bow? I haven't used one for anything but sport in…forever."

That made Felicity sad too, because he was so good with a bow and arrow. And it gave him such joy.

"If we get through the—"

"—when," Lyla corrected her husband.

"When we get through the door," John agreed. "We'll likely be in tunnels that haven't been used in centuries, possibly millennia. We can't risk fire-arms."

Felicity had a flash of gunfire ricocheting off limestone walls, crumbling…she shook herself. That was…a really really good idea. Too bad they hadn't considered it five years ago.

"You may be our best bet," John told Oliver and the men looked at each other in a way that had Felicity thinking they were communicating more than what their words said. "Which is why if things go south, it's your job to protect Overwatch and fulfill the main objective."

Felicity's eyes flew from John to Oliver and he caught her gaze, holding it trapped with a hard, determined look. This was way too much to process. She hadn't even begun when Oliver broke their brief, but intense, eye contact and looked back at John, nodding decisively as he adjusted his grip on the bow. "Yes, sir. Absolutely."

Okay. Wow. And Felicity didn't even get the impression that Oliver was upset about being saddled with her. Actually, she got the distinct impression that he was being asked to do exactly what he had planned on doing all along. Protecting her.

It thrilled and confused her. Made her feel safe and terrified. Felicity had that feeling again, that something important was happening, like a premonition, but this time it wasn't followed by that same sense of doom. So…that was good, right?

Cisco plopped a green camouflage duffel bag on the table next to the photograph of the door and pulled it open. "You've got stun arrows here. Poison arrows. Repulsor arrows. I've got some awesome explosive arrows, but given the circumstances—"

"I'd like them just in case," Oliver interrupted, in the tone of a man who knew to expect the unexpected.

"Then you've got them," Cisco replied with a grin, seeming happy with his answer. "Even my ordinary arrows are extraordinary. In precision, distance, and speed."

"Be you ever so humble," Caitlin muttered and Curtis nodded his agreement, adding an eye-roll.

"What about the rest of us?" Sara broke in. "If we're avoiding fire-arms—"

"Swords, baby!" Slade announced, sounding thrilled with this plan.

Sara rolled her eyes. "Swords and a bow-staff are great close up, but that won't always be practical. And my knives have killer precision, but I can only hold so many." Even if that number was just shy of 30.

It also left Felicity, Caitlin, and Curtis to rely on Special Ops for protection. They could all shoot pretty well, but hand-to-hand or knife to sword…not their forte.

But Curtis stepped forward, saying, "That's where I come in. Or back in. Cisco, here, made an awesome weapon for one of us. I figured someone better cover the other seven."

"Put your money where your mouth is, Mr. Terrific," Cisco mocked, stepping back.

Curtis pulled out a large weapons case and opened it. He completely ignored Cisco. He was the more mature of the two. God help them all.

"Special Ops will all be issued tranq guns as well as regular firearms." Curtis held out the gun for them to look over. "One hit will take down an elephant. Two direct hits will kill someone." He then pulled out a thin device. "And for the rest of us, the old fashioned pen dart." Pushing the button on the end, Curtis sent it flying past Cisco's head and embedding it in the wall behind him. "Ohhh yeah."

Cisco jumped, his long hair whipping around him. "What the hell, man!"

Curtis laughed maniacally at Cisco's expression and Caitlin grinned, stating smugly, "Those will take down a small horse."

"Courtesy of our lovely Bio-engineer," Curtis offered, gesturing to Caitlin with exaggerated chivalry. "It will take 3-4 hits of this to kill someone, depending on their size." He clapped Cisco on the shoulder in lieu of apology.

"Okay, Q, step aside. Not even James Bond is impressed with a pen dart anymore." Cisco brushed Curtis' hand away. "It's time for the piece de resistance. For our Lovely Overwatch." Opening a much smaller case, Cisco pulled out a pair of glasses and handed them to Felicity.

She took them and turned them over in her hands, confused. They looked exactly like the ones she was wearing. She didn't want to disappoint Cisco or look like she was choosing sides, but…

Felicity took her old pair off and put on the new glasses, since that was what everyone appeared to expect. Still, they seemed exactly the same. "Umm…you got the prescription right?"

The corner of Cisco's lips tipped up, though, so Felicity knew he must have something amazing planned. The man wasn't a genius for nothing. "Pull up the controls on your watch."

Felicity turned over her wrist and browsed through the controls on her state of the art ARGUS issue smart watch. It was the best in the world. She had helped develop it. If Cisco had hacked into her watch she must really be off her game, though. Scrolling past the apps, she found the new one easily.

"These will function as your magnifying glasses," Cisco explained as she flipped through the controls. "As binoculars. As night vision goggles. They can sense caverns in solid rock, have a heat sensor and, when in range of an ARGUS satellite, can send images back to base. Only at your command, of course."

Wow. Just wow. Felicity had a new favorite toy.

Cisco took advantage of the impressed silence and turned to Curtis, throwing up his hands in triumph. "Bam! Take that, Mr. I'm-a-Triathlete-So-I-Get-To-Go-Into-the-Field!"

Felicity had no desire to reprimand his antics, since…well, they may just be deserved.

"Cisco, this is incredible!" Felicity breathed, flipping through the various settings until she landed on the magnifier and leaning over the table to examine the photograph of the Mayan hieroglyphs more closely.

Conversation started to flow. Congratulations and ribbings. Questions on how things worked, but Felicity was completely engrossed on the patterns as she started to recognize them. Just like riding a bike. Or writing code, as her case may be.

At one point, Felicity heard Digg say, "Coms in your ears," because that was John's You-Damn-Well-Better-Listen-To-Me tone and that wasn't easily forgotten either. "And ARGUS Watches on your arms at all times, people. No exceptions."

But then the translations started to click in Felicity's mind. She got in the zone and the glyphs started to tell a story. The hieroglyphics above the carving of the Sun King…her heart rate started to accelerate.

"Through these doors lie the House of the Glorious Kinich Ahau, God of the Sun. Enter only his true and righteous servants," Felicity read, almost breathless. "Home of the Brave Children of the Sun. Enemies will surely perish."

When Felicity finished her whispered recitation, she could hear a pin drop. Every person in the room was completely focused on her. And it didn't even bother her.

Lifting her eyes to John, Felicity murmured, "Oh my god. This is real."

For the first time, she didn't think about Oliver or the past or how hard it was to be there. Instead, Felicity thought about what this actually meant. And not just the doom and gloom, keep it from HIVE stuff.

Felicity had spent a year of her life immersed in the history of Kin Cuudad. No one could do that and not come to love every aspect of it. Once upon a time, she'd longed for the Lost City to be real. Passionately. She wanted to walk its streets and hold its treasures. She knew everything there was to know about the Lost City. Everything the modern world knew, anyway. But this was something new. She might very well have the opportunity to learn something forgotten millennia ago.

"I assume you've had this carbon-dated?" Felicity asked, because she had to check.

Lyla nodded. "If it's a hoax, it's a three-thousand-year-old one."

Felicity nodded, swallowing. Oh wow. "And you found this…"

"In the jungle, embedded in a hill, under three-feet of vegetation," John answered.

"So it would open into the ground?" Felicity asked, imagining it.

John shrugged. "One would assume."

It made sense. The Mayans loved their underground tunnels. This could very possibly be a secret entrance to the City. Who knew if anything was still standing on the other side, but… this alone was an incredible discovery. And if something was still standing…

"So, even if the volcano did erupt and destroy Kin Cuudad, who knows what could be preserved in a cavern under the jungle," Felicity mused out loud, the excitement building. "There could be entire structures. Three-thousand-year-old structures! Untouched by man or by history. The knowledge that could trapped down there…the Mayans were forebringers of Science and Geometry and Astronomy…did you know that they believed that the gods were extraterrestrials. The Gift could actually be some Alien Tech…what?"

There were ten pairs of eyes staring at her (well, nine and half with Slade). Like a magnet, Felicity's eyes found Oliver's and saw him looking at her with a crooked smile and fondness in his eyes.

"There's our girl!" Slade announced, leaning over to clap a hand on her back, breaking the silence. "Welcome back, love."

Caitlin and Sara's smiles widened. Oliver tipped down his head and looked at her from under his lashes, his eyes smiling and…

Suddenly, Felicity felt…for the first time in years, she felt like she was exactly where she was supposed to be. Surrounded by people who would do anything to support and protect her, excited by a ground breaking project…she felt alive.

And for the first time in five years, three months, and eleven days, Felicity didn't feel empty.

September 16, 2016
07:19
Palenque Ruins, Mexico

Felicity jerked awake as the truck came to a stop. She blinked her eyes open, grabbing for the glasses she'd hooked onto her t-shirt. Cramming them back onto her face, she tried to gauge how much time had passed and failed. The sun was now out which was a clue and, leaning over to the window, she saw that they were at the gate to the national park. She must have slept all the way to Palenque.

It wasn't surprising given that she had been up studying the photo of (hopefully) the Door to Kin Cuudad, until her eyes blurred and she couldn't discriminate the symbols any longer. By then, it was almost time to leave, so no point trying to sleep. Felicity had just double checked her gear and got herself ready.

And promptly passed out as soon as the truck started to move. But sleeping for a four-hour car ride was actually pretty damn good rest for a mission like this.

And bonus…between the excitement over the Door, and the exhaustion that followed, there had been no time to obsess over Oliver or her memories of Tikal.

"Morning, sleepy-head," Sara called from the front seat, not sounding tired at all, though Felicity was certain she had been awake and alert the entire trip.

Felicity yawned and smiled at her friend, who was, quite literally, sitting shotgun in front of her, a very high tech version of said shot-gun across her lap, ever vigilant. Even though they were in armor plated trucks designed to look like construction vehicles.

The boys, save Curtis, were in the larger truck, the one that held the dirt-bikes and the big equipment. Curtis drove. He was still smiling, still looking like he had a full night's rest. Lord, did that man ever run out of energy? Sometimes it was exhausting just looking at him.

"Wake up the other one, will you?" Sara called behind her. "We're here."

Stretching, Felicity leaned over and gently shook Caitlin awake.

"What? Where's the coffee?"

Cait woke with a start and even Felicity chuckled, though not as much as Sara, who twisted to look over the back of the seat, telling her, "You've gotten soft, Princess. There's no Jitters here."

"Oh, I beg to differ. There may be no Jitters but wait until you see the Field -ready French Press I've come up with. Ya hear me?" Curtis twisted around and presented his fist for Caitlin to, gratefully, if sluggishly, bump. "I know what my girls need."

Felicity laughed, enjoying the easy comradery that felt so natural. She also wouldn't say no to french press right now. Curtis didn't play when it came to their caffeine fix.

The truck moved forward again, through the gates of the park. When they finally pulled into their final destination, they climbed out and…

The humidity immediately hit Felicity in the face.

The humidity. The green grass and the blue sky and the white-grey limestone temples looming. The smell of the nearby jungle, fruit and flowers and rot. Felicity turned, taking it all in. She regretted it immediately and had to put a hand on the truck to steady herself as a wave a dizziness washed over her.

The confidence of the last few hours evaporated, replaced by a flood of memories, more sensations than anything else.

Felicity looked for Cait…she was hugging herself, her face bleach white as she stared, unseeingly, at the ruins. Oliver had his hands clenched at his hips, his knuckles white, his eyes distant, his face looking like it could have been carved from the same limestone that surrounded them.

Curtis was smiling and Roy looked nervous, yet excited, but the others…Sara, John, even Slade…their eyes were all haunted.

Felicity knew they were all thinking the same thing. The buildings may be rearranged, but in all other ways this could be Tikal. And the last time this team stood in the middle of Mayan ruins, on a bright summer day, half of them had been air-lifted out on life support and one of them had never woken up.

And just like Tikal, there was a damn good chance that none of them would ever be the same again.

Author's Notes:

Additional pictures and maps for this chapteron Tumblr: Emmilynestill

So the adventure begins. I'm so excited to be moving past the exposition into the heart of the story.

Palenque (pronounced like Polenta, the Italian dish, but with a 'k' instead of a 't') and the volcano, El Chichon, are real places you can visit, with miles of rainforest between them. Kin Cuudad and the Gift, are all mine.

So, Fairytalehearts yelled at me after Oliver walked away from Felicity in this, all caps, 36 font, bring yellow. Feel free to do the same if you like. :-D But I (**hides**) actually think our heroes communicated…okay considering the circumstances. This will be a slow, careful road back together. And there was hope in this chapter, right? ***Roy's puppy-dog eyes.***

Thank you so much to my wonderful and thoughtful betas fairytalehearts and ireland1733. And also thank you soooo much to everyone who has taken the time to comment and kudo. I haven't been responding as much as I would like to (I always assume that readers would prefer I work on the next chapter before I respond to comments). Please, do keep them coming, they make all the sweat and tears worthwhile.

You can also find me at:

Thanks for reading!

Emmy