"Here," Mad-Eye placed a wand on the bedside table— Lily's, which James had assumed had been lost and broken for good. "When I disarmed Mulciber, this flew at me as well. Her wand must've realized it was free from its captor because it sent sparks flying all over the goddamned place. Always did warn wizards not to keep wands in their pants pockets."

"Thank you," James muttered, not truly looking at Mad-Eye or the recovered wand. He heard footsteps retreating towards the door and returned to his solitary vigil, picking up her cold, clammy hand and lacing his fingers through hers as he brought it up to his lips and held it there.

"She's a good girl," Moody grumbled, startling James. Mad-Eye was trying his best to look sympathetic, but his leathered skin and glass eye gave the whole look a comical effect. He continued, "She'll pull through good as new, sass and all." With what James recognized to be a sad smile, Mad-Eye left the room.

He was asleep when she woke up. He hadn't meant to be— had wanted to stay awake for the both of them— but even James couldn't fight his exhaustion. So Lily rose back into consciousness to greet the quiet around her. She, for her part, hadn't wanted to be awake— to face another day— but something was different. The air around her was soft and light, and she was lying in a bed with blankets rather than the iron chair she had known. Best yet, the realization that she wasn't alone was a sign of joy rather than terror. There was a hand clasped around her own, and as Lily's eyes traced the path of the freckled arm all the way back to the face of its owner, she felt them water involuntarily. James. He was asleep, yes, but there and beautiful and everything she had been afraid of losing. The best she could mutter was a simple, "James?"

His eyes flew open, hazel immediately latching onto her emerald set. It'd be a lie to say there were no tears in his gaze to match hers as he moved closer to the bed, touching his forehead to hers as he breathed out, "Lily." There was nothing she could do but silently sob as he stroked her hair and whispered reassurances. "It's okay Lily, you're safe. You're safe and at headquarters and everything's going to be okay. We're together."

"I missed you so much," was her response, reaching a sore arm out to touch his cheek. "I'm so sorry, James, you have no idea. It was stupid. I shouldn't have even been caught—"

"Lily," James cut her off, not unkindly, "stop that. It's no one's fault but the bastard who took you." His thumb made soothing circles near her temple. "I was losing my mind without you," he admitted.

"Me too. Never again. We can't lose each other again." James sat up straight but kept that hand that was stroking her hair in its place.

"You're right. We'll talk to Dumbledore. I don't care that you were at least with Sirius. From here on out it's the two of us together on missions, or no field work for us at all." James had clearly been mulling this idea over in his head as he looked to her for approval so Lily simply nodded her head. It was fair enough. She honestly couldn't imagine how she would have reacted had their roles been reversed and James had been the one missing. She stared at her fiancé, trying to will away the bags beneath his eyes and the frown lines near his mouth (because, Merlin, he shouldn't have those. The boy had turned nineteen only a month ago) and still felt terrible for everything her folly had put them through— whether or not James would admit it or allow her to admit it, it was Lily's own thrill-seeking that led her into that basement alone. She closed her eyes, pushing her shame down, because she wanted only to enjoy James' presence again. So Lily swallowed, her tears almost stopped now, and asked, "How long was I gone?"

"Six days. You've been here almost two, under various potions and dreamless sleep serums. Your body needed time to recover above all else."

"How?"

"Marlene," came James' response. He understood the unspoken question, of why she wasn't in St. Mungo's, which was the last resort recuperating place for Order members who were severely injured or dying. "She's taken the past few days off of work despite us telling her not to. It's suspicious. She'll be tagged as an Order member, but will she listen? No. But Christ, I'm thankful for her." James gestured to the room at large, and then to the potion IV hanging beside Lily's bedside. "She went all out for you, Evans."

Lily glanced around her surroundings. James was right. She was in a side bedroom in headquarters, and though the Order was always stocked with different medical potions and serums (she helped brew half of them), the vials atop the bedside table contained far more sophisticated brews then the Order was used to, and from what Lily could see, the IV contained a complex array of remedies inside the transparent dragon skin pouch that Marlene must have had to smuggle out. Another twinge of guilt grabbed Lily's stomach. "She shouldn't have done all this." James shrugged, showing that he wasn't displeased at the obvious effort that had gone into Lily's makeshift high tech hospital room.

"You know how McKinnon gets. I should call her, actually. She'd skin me alive if she knew how long you've been awake without bringing her in." And maybe it wasn't the most heartfelt thing to say, or the right response to the return of his once-thought-dead-fiancé, but James smiled wickedly as he stood up and bragged, "I'd like to keep the body I'm in. I rather like it. At least, I know you do… quite a lot."

The way things fell back into normalcy, back into the easy teasing and banter that embodied their relationship is what drove Lily to act. "No," she squeezed his hand as he turned to walk away. James glanced at her, confused, but she pressed on. "Don't get Marlene, not yet. Please, just… don't leave me. Come here."

He sighed, but nonetheless climbed into the small bed anyway, because what else could he do but obey? Lily pushed herself up into a sitting position with the pillows as support, and laid her head on James' chest as he settled and wrapped his arms around her. Lily pressed her face into his t-shirt, breathing him in and feeling his heart beat steadily against her ear. "I love you," she told him softly, feeling oddly shy and tiny. It was not a feeling she was accustomed to, but it was not often that she was reduced to nothing and forced to pull herself together again. The Order of the Phoenix had been all Lily hoped for and more, feeding the reckless side of her nature, but last week's kidnapping and captivity made her feel completely vulnerable, another something Lily Evans was not accustomed to.

James found something amusing in the way she squeaked out the words, perhaps because he knew exactly how she felt inside and he understood it was best to stay normal for the both of them at the moment. "I love you, Lily Evans." He picked up her left hand and held it to his lips, kissing the engagement ring on her finger. "Which is good, I suppose. I'm afraid this ring is nonrefundable."

"Good," she smiled genuinely, "because you're not getting it back."

There was an easy silence, interrupted only by the sound of the small fan in the corner of the room. James kept toying with the ring, humming tunelessly as she simply lay there. Lily didn't want to see anyone else. She wanted to stay here, in this moment, with James, and not worry about the pitiful looks she'd get from older members of the Order who still referred to her as a mere girl, or worry about what she'd have to recount to Dumbledore, or anything else. All too soon, James stopped his humming and she knew what conversation they were about to have.

"Odd how they didn't take the ring," he mused casually, but Lily knew him well enough to know when he had ulterior motives. "A stolen Potter heirloom would have been a nice trophy for Mulciber's Gringotts account."

"Figured it be worse for me if I wore it," Lily muttered, not at all up to talking but understanding that she had to. "False hope of seeing you again, and then as a reminder that what they did to me, they did to you."

To his credit, James refrained from immediate anger and didn't leap out the bed (which Lily was grateful for, considering the fact that she was using him as a rather comfortable pillow), but his body tensed beneath her and she practically felt his upset radiating off of him. His eyes were cold as steel as he glared down at the ring, somehow now blaming it. "How much damage will I have the pleasure of repaying back to whatever Death Eater I find next?"

"Oh," mused Lily, trying to feign casualness as James had done before, "quite a bit. There was the Cruciatus, for starters. Some curses were of Mulciber's concoction, I think… at least I didn't recognize their wand movement or effects. Then there were the good old fashioned fear tactics. Ironically, those were Muggle-style." James lifted Lily's chin with a gentle nudge, a tender motion in direct contrast to the hard glint of rage evident in his eyes. She knew he was mentally repaying every single mark on her person unto Mulciber in his mind, but she couldn't draw comfort from that. Lily could only imagine the discoloration and swelling happening on her person, damage James could see and feel himself. His gaze remained stony as he tenderly tucked hair behind her ear and out of the way for his fingers to trail over her neck, tilting her head back for a better angle to see the damage. He breathed out heavily, closed his eyes and placed a quick kiss on her forehead. His silence was discomforting, because until about now Lily had never had to worry about James' reaction. He looked physically pained at each new cut or mark he found, and Lily thought she couldn't stand much more of his examination when then moved on to her arms and wrists. "Mulciber's got huge hands," Lily offered dully to break the silence as she stared at fingerprint bruises near her elbow, then at her bruised wrists, purple bracelets of pain. "And that chair was murder."

James glanced up from the blisters on her wrists. "You think this is bad? Lily, you look terrible right now. Sorry, love, but it's true. The marks on your arm is nothing compared to your neck. If you haven't noticed yet, you have a bruise that looks remarkably like a shoe print poised over two healing ribs. And there are marks the size of Quaffles on your chest."

Lily shook her arm from James' clutch. "What?" she pulled the nightgown's collar away and stared down, realizing that James was right. She was a collage of green, purple, yellow, and pale. She looked back at James, blushing furiously. "How do you know about the bruising on my chest?"

He rolled his eyes. "How do you think? I pulled you from that cellar, Lily. There wasn't much of a shirt left on you. When I got us back here, it was just me and Marlene. I helped her out. Save for the telling bruises, it's not like I've never seen your breasts before, Merlin."

"James, listen," he deserved to know, needed to know, "he didn't—"

"I know." James cut her off with a curt nod. He didn't want to talk about it as much as she didn't want to recount it. "Like I said, McKinnon gave you whatever examination she saw necessary. But Christ, when I saw you down there…" He closed his eyes. "Dead or alive, I thought the worst had happened to you. We both know what happened with those Muggle women a few weeks back…"

Lily shivered involuntarily, feeling ill. "It's okay, James. I'm okay." He peered down at her through half closed eyes.

"No, you're not," James replied, shaking his head shrewdly. "You're not okay, Lily. You'd be mad if you were." He kissed her temple again. "It's okay you're not okay. I'm not, either. But we'll be okay soon enough, that much I can promise. "

So Lily smiled because there was nothing else to do but listen to James and feel him breathe because he was alive and so was she, and it had never felt so good. She wasn't okay, but back at headquarters and back with James, she'd be okay. They'd both be. Unfortunately the novelty of being conscious wore out and Lily began to fully experience the pain she was in. Without meaning to, she groaned aloud.

"I feel like a giant bruise," she confessed, only half in an effort at conversation and the other half because she knew that it would drive James to help. "Everything hurts and my throat feels like sandpaper whose favorite snack is rock candy."

James eyed Lily in amusement. "You've a way with words," he said dryly, "but it's high time for me to get McKinnon." He slipped out the bed as she made a noise of protest. James rolled his eyes. "Can you do me a favor and pretend you just woke up? I've got to still live through this, remember?"

Lily nodded as James ambled out the door, and though she hadn't wanted him to leave, she was thankful. Whatever drug had been active when she awoke no longer had an effect on the pain. Only a few moments passed before she could hear voices down the hall, accompanied by some very telling thuds.

"You should have," slap, "gotten me," slap, "as soon as she woke up! The very minute!" slap. "I should never have put you in charge of getting me."

"She only just—"

"Spare your lies, Potter," but by now Marlene McKinnon and James had crossed into the threshold and McKinnon locked her gaze unto Lily. She grinned guiltily at the older woman and shifted her eyes to James, who rubbed the spot the Healer targeted on his arm with a pout.

"Knew it," McKinnon grumbled, walking forward to grab the information chart from Lily's bedside table. Lily opened her mouth, and Marlene didn't even have to glance up to say, "Don't you speak, Evans. You've managed to tear up your throat pretty badly already." The Healer moved to the potion connected to Lily's arm, mumbling incoherently as she pulled a vial out her robe and dropped three doses of clear liquid in, changing the deep blue to a swirling purple. Satisfied, she turned back to Lily and examined her bruising as James had just done, though more out of professionalism rather than curiosity and worry. The brusque attitude Marlene used as her official-Healer persona melted away as she looked at Lily once more. She tutted. "I know you hurt like the devil right now, but it'll pass, love. You're tougher than dragon eggs for going through this, you know that right?" Lily obediently did not say anything in reply and only looked down. Marlene went on. "Now we've had you on some draughts, so until some of the swelling goes down in your throat and face it's best to keep those up. You know what vials they're in; you brewed this batch only last week. We have two options for the bruising, but I suggest that a salve—"

"Do excuse me, Miss McKinnon," came a quiet voice from the hallway. James practically jumped from his position against the door frame, surprised by Dumbledore's sudden appearance. The old professor smiled kindly into the room as he continued, "I'm afraid I need to speak to Lily. James," he nodded at the man in question, "you may stay, of course."

Marlene looked more than hesitant to leave.

"Surely it can wait, Dumbledore, she's only just woken up…"

"I wouldn't interrupt if it weren't important," Dumbledore said in turn, stepping into the makeshift care unit. Marlene eyed him for a moment before sighing and walking out the room, sparing a worried glance at Lily and then James, neither of whom looked back at her. With a quick swish of her robe, Marlene was gone.

Lily toyed with a section of sheets with her fingers while James stared coolly at Dumbledore, still partially blaming the old headmaster for the whole ordeal, but curious enough to hear whatever was so important he interrupted McKinnon that he stayed where he was. True to his nature, Dumbledore ignored the obvious heaviness in the air and merely perused pleasantly through the same charts Marlene had fretted over. He must have understood the complex graphs, however, for he smiled once more at Lily and said, "You're healing extremely well." He put the charts down and pulled the chair in the corner and sat down. The door clicked shut on it's own as he folded his fingers across his lap and looked at Lily and James, both of whom did not understand what was happening.

"Lily, my dear, I pray you understand how lucky you are to be amongst us once more."

James scoffed. "Lucky, is that what you call this, Dumbledore? She was half dead in that cellar, and all because of you."

"James," Lily let out, a bit shocked at her fiancé.

"Please," Dumbledore said quietly, "explain."

"You should never have split us up for that godforsaken mission. We should have been allowed to be partners from the start."

"And that would have prevented this?"

"It would have never happened if-"

"If you had partnered with Lily instead of your best friend? From this logic, James, your blame would rest on Sirius' shoulders. But even that is faulty and I think you know that." An suddenly it was as if the bedside table were his desk, and Dumbledore sat in his Headmaster's seat, reprimanding James in his cool manner. Dumbledore must have sensed that, for he sighed and rubbed his half-moon spectacles with his cloak. "We should not bicker, especially when there is so much now to be happy about." He smiled warmly at Lily before focusing back at James. "However, I understand your frustrations at me. You and Lily are free to work as partners at your own discretion. However, that is not what I came here to discuss. I must ask, Lily, for you to remember, though I know how much you wish to forget. When Mulciber- whom, by the way, we should rightly give blame and extend to Voldemort- took you, was he waiting for your arrival? Or did you simply walk in on him?"

"I was a blonde, under Polyjuice Potion..." Lily said, brow furrowing. "He hit me from behind, with something hard... And when I came to, he didn't realize who I was until after I transformed back. He must not have known. But why would he have been waiting for me?"

Dumbledore did not reply. "And when you were at Mulciber's estate, were you able to pick up any sort of conversation or detail about the Order's efforts to rescue you?"

Lily kept her gaze on her fingers, still playing with the sheets. "Mulciber told me I was bait. The mission was supposed to fail."

Dumbledore remained silent, head tilted as he processed what Lily told him.

James shifted uncomfortably. "What's the meaning behind all this?"

"Nothing of importance," Dumbledore replied, now standing. "I apologize for bothering you both. You've been through enough trouble for now." He reached into his pocket, pulling out a box of Sugar Quills and placing it on the table beside Lily, who gasped and beamed back at Dumbledore, meeting his twinkling blue eyes. "I remember your Head Girl days. I couldn't keep enough of these in stock in my office."

"Oh," she croaked, "thank you, Professor."

"Just rest, Miss Evans. We've all missed you dearly."

Before Dumbledore left the room, James spoke up. "Thank you, Professor. And... Sorry for earlier."

"Love gets in the way of logic, sometimes. Happens to the best of us." And with a nod of his head, Dumbledore was gone.

Seeing the boys the next day was an occasion marked by Butterbeer and left over fruit tarts from dinner. James sat near her bed, his only place of occupancy for the past three days, as the other three boys sat in chairs borrowed from the kitchen.

"Well, look who decided to wake up! Enjoy your nap, princess?" Sirius sauntered into the room, a smirk on his face as he sat in his chair (improperly). He cocked an eyebrow at Lily and his smile grew wider. "Though I must say, I had assumed all that rest was supposed to be beauty sleep. You look terrible."

"Hardy har," Lily drawled in reply, but after her initial eye roll, her face split into a smile. "I still look a damn sight better than you do."

Remus laughed as he set down his barstool. "I missed that. He was out of control without you, Lily. It's great to see you. Well, alive, you know. I don't really count when James carried you from the cellar." Remus had meant it as a light jab at the gravity of what had happened, but James' mind reeled back the hours he spent convinced that they were too late. He looked away from the crowd in the room and stared at the wall, unnoticed as the others talked.

"You didn't miss much," Pete informed Lily with an entire tart in his mouth. "Few giant raids but nothing special." Lily's eyes grew wide.

"A few? Merlin, how did things go? Survivors? Oh, and all those memory charms to perform, did you manage to-"

"Take your knickers out their twist, Evans," Sirius rolled his eyes. "We managed fine without your prowess. You didn't fake-date a moron here. And your real fiancé's not a complete nitwit."

James forced himself back into the conversation, feeling Lily's attention flit back to him. After registering what Sirius had spoken, James' head cleared a bit. "Which," he announced, "reminds me of something..." James stood up to walk across the room and unceremoniously grab the chair from underneath Sirius, causing him to fall onto the the floor in a heap of limbs as a surprised yelp escaped from his mouth. James grinned broadly at the ground as Sirius glared up. "You," James declared haughtily, "are to stay away from my fiancé. And retract what you said about me being domineering. I'm not domineering!" To answer, Sirius shot an amused look to Remus and then looked back at James.

"Not domineering?"

"Of course I'm not."

"Not in the least?" James shook his head no. "Lily," Sirius called from the floor, not even looking at her, "Charms corridor. Sixth year." James' head reeled to look back at Lily, whose cheeks sported the familiar red blush. His eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"What is he on about?" But apparently Remus understood, because he seemed it necessary to chime in with another tidbit of information.

"Fifth year rounds. Christmas."

"Sixth year," Peter stated, smiling widely at Lily, who gave a horrified yelp and covered her face in her hands, and then at James' half bewildered, half brassed expression. "First Hogsmeade trip of the year."

"Lily?" James sputtered. She shook her head in her hands, merely muttering a mortified, "I cannot believe this. I'm not answering."

Sirius stood up, brushing the dust off himself with dignity and then snatching his chair from James' hold. "Marcus Shelby," he said, and triumphantly sat back down on his stool.

"Oh," James crossed his arms, understanding what was happening as Remus added his name- "Holten Daniels."

"Wait, who was mine?" Peter scratched his head, "Shit, I forgot."

"Well, it doesn't matter," James huffed out as he took a seat on the bed next to Lily. She glanced up at him, eyeing him nervously. He held up his head. "I'm confident enough in our relationship to acknowledge that Lily had very chaste relationships with very unfortunate looking blokes a long, long time ago and that I surpass them all. See? Not domineering." He put his arm around Lily, careful not to put any weight into it, as she rolled her eyes and leaned into him contently.

"You're overly confident in this relationship," she kissed his cheek, "but of course, I only had extremely chaste relationships with extremely unfortunate looking blokes." James smiled smugly in response at the other boys in turn. Sirius' eyebrows rose up and Remus chuckled, but Peter remained in deep thought. Sirius sighed.

"Fine, Prongs," he lifted his hands in mock defeat. "I hereby retract any fowl-"

"Roger Pond!" Peter exclaimed, loudly interrupting Sirius as he beamed in triumph. "And there wasn't much chaste in what I heard him tell the Ravenclaws the next day."

Lily moaned as James stiffened next to her. "Thanks, Pete. I appreciate that."

"You snogged that prat?" His nose crinkled in disgust and he undraped his arm from around Lily so that he could cross them in front his chest. "He was a year older than us, and a complete ponce!"

"Ah, yes," Remus nodded, "here comes it comes."

James continued to grumble under his breath.

"James," Lily said sternly, "Roger was a nice bloke. It was only one date, anyway. No, don't get up!" She held onto his arm as he shifted to stand, and James looked at her as she shook her head. "Don't get up. You're a nice pillow and I'm too comfortable now to be disturbed."

Some of the annoyance melted from James' expression, but he still deemed it necessary to ask, "A nicer pillow than Roger Pond?"

"Much nicer. And far more fit." She lifted his arm and tucked herself into his side, yawning out, "Good pillow," before closing her eyes with a smile. James' hand absentmindedly stroked her back.

Remus stood up. "I should get going. Dumbledore wanted to speak with me before I leave." He met Lily's eyes as she opened them again. "Welcome back, Lily, and do us a favor- never again."

"I'll do my best, Moony," she promised. Peter too now stood.

"I told Mum I'd be home tonight, so I'll have to leave as well. Coming, Padfoot?"

"Not yet," Sirius waved him off. "I'll stick around." With a shrug, Peter was gone and Sirius put his head in his hands, defeated. When he lifted his gaze a few moments later and saw both Lily and James looking back at him as one. He focused his sight on Lily, on her emerald eyes surrounded by the purple and yellow swellings of bruises. Bruises she got from a week in a cellar, tortured to the brink of death. Bruises that were his fault because he wasn't there. "Merlin, Lily," Sirius started, "I'm so fucking sorry. I should have been more careful, I should have realized-" But Lily cut him off with a shake of her head.

"Don't think that, Sirius. We were on mission. It's not your fault. Something like this would have happened eventually."

Sirius wasn't happy with that response, and he could tell James wasn't either by the way his eyes stared past Sirius and onto the wall behind him. But there was no arguing with Lily because she yawned and closed her eyes once more. Sirius sighed. "Whatever you say, Lily. I'll leave you two now," he said, making his way to the door. As he left, he spared another look at the couple, at his brother now reaching for her vial of potion and at his sister completely allowing herself to be weak in his arms. Their wedding so near, and everything could have been lost. All Sirius knew was that the next time he had to, he would do everything in his power to save those two people lying on that tiny bed together.

"Thank you," Lily told James as be handed her the sleeping draught. "I wish I didn't have to sleep all the time."

"A small sacrifice," he replied, still hearing her say something like this would have happened eventually play over in his head. She burrowed her face into his arm as she felt the potion start to go into her system.

"What're you thinking right now?'

"I'm entertaining the idea of Transfiguring Roger Pond into an actual pillow, actually." It was so easy to hide his real thoughts from Lily the further she slipped into unconsciousness.

"I love you," she mumbled as she fell asleep. He kissed her temple.

"I love you too, you loon," he knew was already asleep. "I love you so much."

He holds onto her, knowing that avoiding the issue plaguing his mind would lead to no good, would not make that conversation any easier. But it's disgustingly easy to simply be here, to feel her breathe, and to breathe in time with her. So James pushes those thoughts back, dreading the time when he has to face them.