I'm Guilty
A/N: Wow… I wondered after posting the first two chapters where all the Kyouya-hate was, cuz I really expected more of it… I guess something in the last chapter really struck a chord with people, because holy shit did the Kyouya-hate come pouring in! I especially love the people who try to justify their anger to me… I'm the author, guys, I wrote him this way for a reason! You're supposed to be upset with him, he's being a colossal dick!
This chapter, as promised, is in Tamaki's point of view, and the song I've chosen is called I'm Guilty, by Gravity Kills. (Make sure it's the Gravity Kills version if you look this up on YouTube or whatever!) And yes, it's a bit of a rock song, which doesn't exactly fit with Tamaki's personality, but I thought that the lyrics fit perfectly with what's going on with Tamaki, both before and after Haruhi finds out about his relationship with Kyouya. (Also, I think I freaking hate Tamaki at this point because this was BY FAR the hardest chapter to write so far. I blame Tamaki. And Kyouya. Both of them are on my shit-list right now. Although this chapter ended up being really long…)
I continue to be overwhelmed by reviewer response to what was supposed to be a short one-shot. As always, please enjoy the chapter, and reviews are my favorite thing ever!
Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran Host Club or any of the songs or lyrics that are used in this fic, and I have no affiliation with any of the artists.
When Kyouya first cornered Tamaki one afternoon after the rest of the Host Club had left and confessed his feelings for his best friend, Tamaki had been speechless. Kyouya, usually so calm and confident, had instantly misinterpreted this as rejection and had started walking away quickly, trying to mutter about how he hoped this didn't change their friendship. This had finally jolted Tamaki out of his stupor and he'd lunged to grab the dark-haired boy's sleeve.
"Kyouya, wait! Wait, you can't just walk off like that! This… this changes everything!" Tamaki exclaimed.
"It doesn't have to," Kyouya muttered, not meeting the violet eyes that had ensnared him so many times before. "I've kept it bottled up this long, the only reason I told you now is because Kaoru told me to…"
Tamaki barely heard the mention of one of those devilish twins. He was still caught up in trying to make Kyouya listen to him. "But it does change everything! I thought… I thought it was just me!" he exclaimed. "Wait, what does Kaoru have to do with anything?"
Kyouya just stared at him, open-mouthed and stunned into silence. "What did you say?" he asked at last.
"I asked what Kaoru had to do with…." Tamaki began, but Kyouya cut him off impatiently.
"Before that!"
"Oh… I said I thought it was just me having feelings for you. I didn't realize it was mutual."
Kyouya's mouth dropped open even further. It was actually quite endearing. Tamaki reached up and pressed his fingertips to the other boy's chin and pushed it up to close his friends' mouth. Then he gave Kyouya a quick kiss before drawing back.
"Anyways, my ride is here! Call me later, okay?" the blonde said cheerfully, leaving Kyouya standing stunned in the middle of the classroom.
Behind closed doors, your words ring hollow
What you said they'd be
What behavior? Who are you? But I like it
Now I'm done with nothing new, sometimes green, sometimes blue
Neither boy was really interested in making their fledgling relationship public. There were plenty of powerful people who would be extremely unhappy about their relationship, including Tamaki's grandmother and Kyouya's father. So they kept everything quiet for a year or so before deciding that the stress of hiding their love was too great and they should break up, at least for a little while.
And it was during this break-up that Kyouya and Haruhi started dating. Tamaki was stunned and more than a little hurt by this new development, but he would never have shown it for the world. He congratulated them, admired the engagement ring that Kyouya eventually bought Haruhi, and was the best man at their wedding. But it hurt to see Kyouya with someone else on his arm, even if he did try to tell himself how happy he was for his darling daughter and his best friend.
So it was something of a surprise for Tamaki when he got a phone call from Kyouya asking him to come over one night, about a year after the marriage had taken place. Tamaki had tried to keep his distance while the couple's relationship developed, not wanting to be the cause of a break-up or anything. And after their marriage, he'd only been to their home a couple of times. But one evening, Kyouya invited him over and Tamaki could never refuse his best friend anything.
Upon arriving at their estate, Tamaki learned that Haruhi was gone for the evening, taking a late exam. So he and Kyouya went into Kyouya's study to talk and share a bottle of wine Tamaki had brought back from a trip to France.
After nearly half the bottle had been consumed, Kyouya leaned back in his chair. "It was a mistake for us to break up, you know."
Tamaki wasn't sure he'd heard his friend right. Lowering the wine glass, Tamaki glanced up at the other young man. "What?"
"It was a mistake for us to break up," Kyouya repeated.
"We had no choice. Our families would never have approved," Tamaki said cautiously.
"Yes, no matter what we do, we must make sure never to stain the family name," Kyouya said bitterly.
Tamaki just shrugged. "We always knew that was going to be the case. Nothing has changed."
Kyouya just shook his head. "It's not right… it's just not right that we have to live a lie like this." He stood up, crossing the small space between them and cupping Tamaki's face in his hand. "I've missed you."
Tamaki looked up into those gray eyes, brewing with hidden turmoil and frustration. "I've missed you too… but things are different… You're married for one thing."
Kyouya nodded absently, glancing down at his wedding ring with an unreadable expression on his face. Then he seemed to steel himself and he quickly kissed Tamaki. And Tamaki didn't pull away.
And I'm guilty, and I'm guilty, and I'm guilty, and I'm guilty
And you're guilty too
Hey, hey, hey, I'm guilty, and you're guilty too
Hey, hey, hey, hey
It was several seconds before they broke apart, and that's when guilt hit Tamaki like a tidal wave. "Kyouya, we can't do this! You made a commitment to Haruhi!"
Kyouya nodded. "You're right. Of course you're right."
"I should go," Tamaki said, feeling unbearably awkward. He backed out of the study and watched as Kyouya sank into the chair behind his desk, burying his head in his hands. Then Tamaki turned and fled before he felt the urge to go back to him.
After that, interactions with Haruhi were just a little difficult for Tamaki. After all, how do you face one of your closest friends when you're secretly in love with their spouse? Tamaki simply wasn't sure how to deal with it, but Haruhi didn't seem to notice his odd behavior. She was hard at work making her way through college, and she needed top grades if she were to make it through law school. Tamaki took pains to make sure that he was never alone with Kyouya so that neither one of them would give in to temptation.
This worked well for a while. Until one night when Haruhi called Tamaki herself.
"Oh, hello my darling daughter, how is college life treating you?" Tamaki demanded in his usual boisterous way.
"Settle down Tamaki… School is fine. I had my midterms this week, so I actually have a free night and the twins and I are going to this club that they like."
"Sounds like fun, but you be careful with those little devils!"
"You know Kaoru isn't interested in me, right?"
"Well, sure, but Hikaru…"
"Don't worry about it, senpai," Haruhi said, falling back onto his old title by habit. "Hikaru and I have an understanding. But I wanted to ask you something before I go out."
"Okay, sure," Tamaki said, leaning back in the chair he sat in in his family's palatial mansion.
"Could you… maybe call Kyouya or come over and talk to him or something?"
Tamaki froze. It was exactly the situation he'd been trying so hard to avoid, and here was HARUHI inadvertently throwing them together. "I… well… Maybe…"
"Please, Tamaki?" Haruhi begged, and visions of her giant brown eyes danced through his mind. Not that he would ever tell her this, but she could rival his puppy-dog eyes without any issue. "He just hasn't been himself lately, and you always seem to be able to cheer him up."
"But can't you…?" Tamaki tried to ask.
"I invited him to come out to the club, but he basically told me he'd rather drink a gallon of arsenic-laced wine. So then I offered to stay home, and he told me to go and have some fun. He said he has work to do, but how much work can he possibly have on a Friday night? I told him I'd stay, and even offered to plan a short weekend trip or something, but he said he can't do it and he called the chauffer and he's basically going to force me out the door. So, please? Please come over?"
Tamaki felt the bottom drop out of his stomach. What kind of excuse could he possibly give her? Well, he would just have to be strong.
"Sure, I'll come over in an hour or two."
"Okay, well I'm leaving in just a few minutes, so I won't see you. But thank you so much, Tamaki! You're the best!" And the ringing note of happiness in her voice steeled Tamaki's resolve to offer comfort as a friend ONLY tonight.
I'll tell you something, something new
You're hearing nothing, nothing true
You're killing me, I'm killing you
And I'm guilty too
Tamaki arrived and was instructed to wait while a servant asked if Kyouya was free. Tamaki wandered around the small room he'd been left to wait in, examining photos of the young couple. They looked happy enough together.
"Tamaki?"
At the sound of that voice, Tamaki felt his resolve drain away. For a moment, he couldn't move, but finally he turned around, still holding a picture of Kyouya and Haruhi.
Kyouya was standing in the doorway. There were dark circles under his eyes, but other than that, he looked good.
"What are you doing here?" Kyouya asked. "I thought… I thought you were angry with me."
"I wasn't angry," Tamaki said honestly. "I just… wanted to avoid temptation. You're married, Kyouya. We can't go back to the way things were."
"But what if we could?" Kyouya asked.
Tamaki just shook his head. "And I'm here because your WIFE is worried about you and she seems to think I'm the only person who can cheer you up."
Kyouya chuckled bitterly at the irony. "She tries her best," was all he said in response.
Tamaki didn't bother asking for clarification. "You look exhausted," he said instead.
Kyouya shrugged. "I've been doing a lot of thinking."
"Thinking? Or fantasizing?"
"Maybe a bit of both," Kyouya sighed, leaning against the doorframe.
"Does… Does Haruhi know? About us?" Tamaki asked suddenly.
Kyouya shook his head. "She has no idea that we ever dated. She doesn't even know… about my preference."
"Why haven't you told her?"
"Why bother? I can keep it hidden, and it would probably just upset her."
"She doesn't mind about Kaoru."
Kyouya grimaced at the mention of the younger Hitachiin twin. "She's not married to Kaoru."
"Excellent point," Tamaki admitted.
They stared at each other for several minutes, the air thick with unspoken desires. Finally the tension became unbearable for Tamaki.
"Look, could you tell Haruhi I did stop by? I don't want her to think I skipped out…" Tamaki began as he moved to slip out the door past Kyouya. But the dark-haired young man caught the blonde and pressed a kiss to his lips.
"Please don't leave…" he whispered, so low that Tamaki almost didn't hear the plea.
Tamaki swallowed, looking into soft gray eyes, so fearful of rejection. And Tamaki felt what was left of his resolve crumble into tiny pieces and blow away as he threw his arms around Kyouya and returned the kiss hungrily.
One two three, I found you out so easily
One two three, I found in you what I found in me
The time is wrong, the time is right, be careful who you kill tonight
And I'm melting, and I'm melting, and I'm melting, and I'm melting
And I'm melting in you
Tamaki was never sure just how long it took them to get to Kyouya's bedroom or how they managed to do it without being seen, but he didn't complain when he found himself lying underneath Kyouya. It took several minutes for it to register in Tamaki's mind that this was a plain, masculine room, and it finally dawned on him that Kyouya and Haruhi kept separate bedrooms.
"You two don't share a bedroom?" he finally gasped as Kyouya nibbled enticingly on his neck.
"No. We never have," Kyouya said shortly before returning to his ministrations of Tamaki's neck.
"But… you don't sleep with her?" Tamaki asked, still trying to take in the features of this room. It was actually very similar to the one Kyouya had lived in at his father's house.
"We've slept together three times since our marriage," Kyouya said shortly. "Now, will you stop talking about Haruhi?"
"But…" Tamaki began, but he was cut off by another deep kiss.
"My father arranged this marriage, you idiot!" Kyouya hissed. "My father is the one that demanded I date Haruhi, who demanded I buy her that ring, and who set up the whole wedding. Haruhi is very sweet, but the only person I've ever wanted is YOU."
Tamaki shivered at Kyouya's breath in his ear, the words dim and fuzzy in his head. But finally he pushed Kyouya away. "Kyouya, you know I love you, but we can't betray Haruhi, we just can't!"
Kyouya was breathless, gray eyes glimmering with undisguised desire. But he was still a rational person, and his brain was operating at a hundred miles a minute. "What if I talked to her and told her about us? What would you say then?"
Tamaki blinked. He hadn't expected Kyouya to offer that up. He had assumed that Kyouya would have spoken of divorce (which Tamaki would have talked him out of because the Ootori family would never have been able to abide the scandal) or simply resigned himself to abandoning their relationship yet again. He had not anticipated that Kyouya would be okay with baring his most closely-guarded secret. "I… suppose…" Tamaki said hesitantly. Would Haruhi really be okay with them being together even as the marriage remained intact for the sake of appearances?
Kyouya smiled then, a beautiful relieved smile. "I'll talk to her this weekend then," he said, kissing Tamaki again. "I can't lose you, not again… I need you."
Tamaki wordlessly wrapped his arms around the dark-haired boy's waist and they kissed some more and then they just lay next to each other on Kyouya's bed and talked. They talked about their jobs and about the future, though neither dared to speculate about Haruhi's reaction to Kyouya's darkest secret. Both young men wanted to do more, but it felt too much like betraying Haruhi. It was very late though when Tamaki finally stood up and declared that he really ought to leave. So Kyouya escorted him to the door where they exchanged one final kiss and said goodnight.
It wasn't until Tuesday night that Tamaki heard from Kyouya again. It was a simply text message. "Haruhi is out of the house. Please come over." Tamaki smiled at his best friend's severe insistence on maintaining proper spelling and grammar, even in a text message. He typed back "Kk, c u soon xoxo" just because he knew it would annoy Kyouya to no end.
(A/N: I'm with Kyouya on this one and I hate it when people text like Tamaki does! Especially when my mom does it! It doesn't have to be perfect, I mean, I do use abbreviations like ttyl and stuff, but seriously, a little effort! C u soon indeed!)
Tamaki arrived at Kyouya's home not too long after, and was told to go straight to Kyouya's study. The dark-haired young man looked very relaxed, a rare state for him. The dark circles under his eyes had faded somewhat. Tamaki approached and settled himself on a couch next to Kyouya's desk rather than in a chair across from it.
"So… I take it you talked with Haruhi?" Tamaki asked, nervous anticipation bubbling up in his stomach as he waited for his friend's reply.
"I did…" Kyouya said slowly, spinning a pen between his fingers. "She… was not exactly thrilled, but I can hardly blame her."
"Of course not," Tamaki agreed, waiting for the rest of it.
"But…" Kyouya added, and all of his attention was suddenly on Tamaki and the blonde could hardly breathe, "she did understand why I was reluctant to tell her at first. And…" And now Kyouya stood up and approached Tamaki. "She said that as long as we are discrete and she doesn't have to hear about it, she doesn't exactly object if we see each other once in a while."
It was so much more than Tamaki had dared to hope for. "Are you serious?" he asked, his voice breathless and too eager. Kyouya caught it and he moved like lightning to pin Tamaki to the couch.
"Perfectly serious," he whispered in Tamaki's ear, and the blonde couldn't stop the shudder that raced through his body at that.
They kissed feverishly for several minutes, but then they heard the door to the mansion being opened, and they separated and straightened themselves out at once. Kyouya returned to his chair and soon they heard a knock on the door. Kyouya called out for the person to enter, and Haruhi stepped in, looking exhausted.
"Hi," she said with a wan smile. Then she saw Tamaki and her smile widened. "Tamaki, hi, I didn't know you would be here! Sorry I was out, I had to finish a paper for school. How have you been?" she asked, not moving from the doorway.
They made pleasant small-talk for a few minutes, then Haruhi excused herself and left. Tamaki said goodnight to Kyouya and left, feeling relieved that Haruhi's attitude towards him hadn't changed.
That Friday, Tamaki went over to Kyouya and Haruhi's home again. Haruhi was all dressed up to go out and have some fun with the twins, and she told them to have a pleasant evening. They did have a very pleasant evening, as they decided to celebrate their reunion by having sex for the first time. It had been something they had considered in high school, but never done, and it was a new experience for both of them. Tamaki ended up spending the night and slipping out of the house while Haruhi was still asleep, so she never knew he spent the night. And although he felt wonderful, there was still that nagging guilt that the night before had still somehow betrayed Haruhi.
After that, it slowly became easier for Tamaki to come over more often. At first he only came over a couple times a month, whenever Haruhi was going to be out of the house. Then it became more often, once a week, twice a week, and still Tamaki and Kyouya would send steamy text messages to each other (which Kyouya surely deleted from his phone, so Tamaki reluctantly did the same) whenever they got the chance.
Haruhi seemed happy that Kyouya was spending time with someone as she spent hours every night studying desperately for her exams. She rarely went out anymore, and then only for a couple hours. But at last she graduated from law school, and the whole Host Club celebrated with her.
There was further celebration when they went on a trip to Europe, Haruhi, Kyouya, Tamaki, and the twins. It was a glorious vacation, the twins escorted Haruhi to all the sites and all the stores and all the restaurants while Kyouya and Tamaki simply sought secluded places to enjoy each other's company or closeted themselves up in Tamaki's hotel room while everyone else was gone. And Haruhi didn't seem to mind in the least, much to Tamaki's relief.
Hey, hey, hey, I'm guilty, and you're guilty too
Hey, hey, hey, hey, one and one and one makes three
One and one, why don't you see
I'm killing you, you're killing me
Can't you set me free?
And then they returned to Japan and Haruhi got a job as a lawyer and got to work becoming a rising star in her firm. But even all her work as a lawyer was not enough to keep her as busy as her college days, and Tamaki started to feel her scrutiny more and more. Now she was really beginning to notice that he was appearing at her home every day, and that he only spent a few minutes with her before spending hours with Kyouya.
Tamaki decided to mention this to Kyouya one evening. "Doesn't Haruhi ever feel left out? She's all alone most nights..."
"I'm sure she's fine. She would have said something if she was unhappy," Kyouya said. The pair never engaged in sex while Haruhi was in the house, but nothing else was off-limits... But just at this moment, Kyouya was just sitting on the couch with Tamaki's head in his lap.
"I just don't know..." Tamaki muttered. "She looked so sad when I knocked on the study door."
Kyouya adjusted his glasses, and the light flashed off of them to hide his expression. It was a talent he'd developed in middle school and it continued to serve him well. To people who didn't know him, it looked downright intimidating. To his nearest and dearest, it was just an endearing quality, though Tamaki wasn't particularly happy when it was used against him.
"What do you think?" Tamaki insisted, tugging on the cuff of Kyouya's shirtsleeve.
"I already told you what I think. If she is unhappy, she will tell me," Kyouya repeated.
Tamaki wasn't exactly pleased with this answer, but Kyouya clearly wasn't interested in discussion, so he dropped the subject, but he kept watching Haruhi's behavior. And he didn't like what he saw.
As the months went on, Haruhi showed less and less enthusiasm when he arrived. She actually seemed to be wishing he would stop coming around, but Tamaki was sure he must be reading her signals incorrectly, because why on earth would she want him gone? But then one day, it was confirmed.
"Oh... Tamaki... Hi..." Haruhi said. Tamaki had just been admitted into the house by a servant, and Haruhi was just descending the stairs looking ready for an evening of relaxation. Tamaki couldn't fail to notice the way her smile faded when she saw him.
"Hello my darling daughter!" Tamaki exclaimed happily.
"Tamaki, you're almost 30, and I'm only a year younger than you. This nickname has got to go..." Haruhi sighed as she accepted his hug.
"I'm sorry, you've just had the nickname for so long..."
"Because you gave it to me!" she exclaimed.
Tamaki frowned. "Is everything okay?" he asked her.
"Yeah, it's fine... I just thought... Kyouya and I... well, never mind, it doesn't matter. I guess I'll go call... no, the twins are overseas... Well, I'll find something to do. It was good to see. Say hi to Kyouya for me," she added sarcastically before heading back upstairs.
Tamaki frowned. That didn't sound like a woman who was happy with her lot in life. He opened his mouth to call her back, but she didn't look back, and he soon heard a door slam above him. So Tamaki went to Kyouya's study.
"Kyouya, we need to talk about Haruhi," he said as soon as he entered the room.
Kyouya looked up from his laptop. "You're here early," he said. "Why do you want to talk about her this time?"
"Kyouya, are you blind?" Tamaki demanded. "She looks miserable!"
"She hasn't said anything to me. Well, she did express at one point that she would like to spend more time with me, but we're both too busy for that."
"You spend time with me," Tamaki reminded him.
Kyouya actually favored him with a smile. "I always have time for you," he said affectionately.
"Well, maybe you should take some time that you would spend with me, and spend it with her. She looks really unhappy, Kyouya, why don't you see it?"
"She's just a little stressed because she's going to be the lead lawyer in the big Honda case. Everything is fine," Kyouya insisted. "If it'll make you both happy, I'll take her somewhere nice after the case is over."
"Why don't you tell her that now so she feels better?" Tamaki asked.
"I still don't see what you're so worried about," Kyouya said calmly, finally closing the laptop. "Everything is under control."
Tamaki wondered if Kyouya thought that Haruhi was under his control... if so, he was almost certainly sadly mistaken. But he put that thought out of his head and settled on the couch with his lover.
Only a couple weeks later, Tamaki arrived at the Ootori estate for another evening with Kyouya. When he inquired after Haruhi, he learned that she had gone to her bedroom in a huff shortly after returning from work, and as far as anyone knew, that's where she remained. Kyouya told Tamaki not to disturb her and they settled in the study to relax. Much later that evening, Haruhi's bedroom door remained closed, so Kyouya boldly invited Tamaki to spend the night. Tamaki had often slept over when Haruhi was out for the evening, retiring to bed early with Kyouya and slipping out without Haruhi noticing.
In the morning, Kyouya woke up first and went downstairs to fetch two cups of coffee while Tamaki waited for him. When he returned, the pair lounged together for a good hour before finally sitting on the edge of the bed. Tamaki had borrowed a pair of Kyouya's pajamas, which fit him surprisingly well.
"I should get going," Tamaki told him. "I have a lot to do today. But first, promise me you'll talk to Haruhi soon, and that you'll spend some more time with her."
"I told you, there's nothing to worry about," Kyouya said, cupping Tamaki's face in his hand and leaning towards him. Both young men were completely absorbed in one another, which would explain why they hadn't noticed that the door was cracked open, and why neither saw the pretty brunette with the rumpled hair and creased dress watching them with a look of realization on her face.
Inside out, I can't describe it, what you do to me
Inside out, I cannot hide it, looking right through me
Now I've reached the living end, pointing fingers to defend
And I'm guilty, and I'm guilty, and I'm guilty, and I'm guilty
And you're guilty too
I'm guilty, guilty, and you're guilty too
Tamaki panicked when he saw her. Something in her eyes told him that Kyouya had not told her a thing about the true nature of their relationship. Soon she and Kyouya were arguing about their respective infidelities, and finally she threw her wedding ring onto the floor and stormed out.
Kyouya was fuming, though Tamaki privately felt that she was well within her rights. Kyouya had underestimated his wife, and he was paying for it now.
"You ought to go apologize to her," Tamaki said as he started getting dressed.
"I will do no such thing," Kyouya exclaimed.
"Why not? Because then you'd have to admit you were wrong?" Tamaki asked.
Kyouya just scowled, not looking at Tamaki.
"Because you were wrong," Tamaki told him. "You lied to her. And you lied to me. But I'm more worried about how you lied to her. Why would you do that?"
"You wouldn't understand," Kyouya said.
Tamaki sighed, rubbing his eyes in frustration. "Go talk to her. Now. Don't let her leave angry like this."
Kyouya looked like he was going to argue, but finally he sighed and stepped out of the room. Tamaki finished getting dressed and waited for Kyouya to return. It was only a few minutes before Kyouya returned.
"Well, she's mad… And she's still leaving… But she did say she wanted to still be friends, so I guess that's good," the dark-haired man sighed, starting to get dressed himself.
Tamaki sat on the end of the bed, one leg crossed, and an annoyed look on his face. "Well, the important thing is that you tried, right?"
"Yeah…" Kyouya sighed. He started to step towards Tamaki. "Listen, I'm really sorry…"
Tamaki held up his hand. "Not now, okay? Let's make things right with Haruhi first."
A few minutes later, Haruhi stepped past the door, carrying a suitcase and still wearing the dress from the night before. Tamaki jumped up and started towards the door, but she was already halfway down the stairs. Tamaki stared out, and thought he recognized the car pulling into the Ootori's driveway, but he couldn't place it. But Haruhi was out the door and in the car, and soon she was gone. A few minutes later, Tamaki also left the house, leaving Kyouya quite alone.
Tamaki didn't speak to Kyouya for a few days afterwards. He also didn't try to contact Haruhi or anyone else in the Host Club. Instead he stewed in his guilt. In retrospect, it was so obvious that Kyouya hadn't told Haruhi about their relationship… but Tamaki had allowed himself to believe it because he wanted to, and in the process, he had helped ruin the marriage. It probably wouldn't have survived anyways, but that didn't really help his guilt.
Finally, Tamaki could stand the silence no longer. He picked up his phone, flipping through his contacts for a familiar number. It took him several minutes to find the courage to actually place the call though. He was terrified that his call would go unanswered, or that the person he was calling would answer only to shower him with anger and accusations. But Tamaki could stand it no longer. It was time to seek forgiveness.
"Hello?"
"Haruhi… I'm so sorry…"
I'll tell you something, something new
You're hearing nothing, nothing true
You're killing me, I'm killing you
And I'm guilty too