Happy Girl Part 4

"Chris-Alice!" "Where did you go!?" "Please say something!" She heard her friends' voices moving through the streets, Creepie's, Budge's, Skipper's, and Raven's voices. From her perch up here on the top of the town hall spire in the middle of town she could see them moving through the streets little bigger than ants, their shouts easily echoing up through the air to reach her. Creepie was flitting back and forth through the air, but she never looked up or she would have seen Chris-Alice there. She kept looking down, everywhere Chris-Alice wasn't.

Chris-Alice had gotten up that morning not feeling particularly bad… she'd felt a bit numb, but to be honest she'd gotten used to that. It was a weekend, so she'd gotten dressed in her cheerleading outfit for the big game and set out to make her way to the field but… then she just never went. She would have just humiliated herself anyway with her sloppy performance and the bandage that was still wrapped around her head from her fall last night.

So how had she gotten up here? She climbed, obviously, but she hadn't really been thinking about why she was doing it. As she'd gotten used to lately, she'd been trying not to think at all. It was a technique that worked well enough over the last six months, keeping herself busy and occupied, but as she'd climbed the building her blank mind was just filled with thoughts and memories. Some of Dr. Gerald the night of the incident as she sat in front of him with the gun in her hand, others of his wife and children as his funeral crying. The worst was when, instead of him, she saw her friends lying in the expanding pool of blood. Would it have been different if she had killed one of them? Even he'd had people who loved him, a family. She supposed, in the end, she wondered if she really deserved to live if he didn't. Sure, he did some bad things… but so did everyone.

She barely noticed her tears dripping to the rooftop below her perch, falling from eyes that stared blankly at the ground far below her. As the hours passed and the sun moved toward the Western horizon the sunlight faded from bright and vibrant to an almost eerie dull red color. It looked like the pool of blood from her mind had spilled out onto the streets of Middlington, as if she really had done it to all of her friends. Who was to say it wouldn't happen, someday? She'd done it once, what if she did it again?

"Chris-Alice." Chris-Alice blinked and looked down in surprise when she heard a voice call from the gently sloping rooftop below the spire on which she was perched. She saw Raven just pulling herself up over the edge, panting from the effort but eventually getting to her feet to approach the spire at a slow walk. "What are you doing up here?"

"I… I'm not really sure." Chris-Alice chuckled genuinely through her tears. "Pretty silly, huh?"

Raven didn't laugh. "You need to come down from there, Chris-Alice. Everyone in town is looking for you by now. They even decided to postpone the game to look for you."

"Oh, that's too bad." Chris-Alice sighed. "I know everyone was looking forward to it… I didn't want to ruin it, but I guess I did anyway."

Raven stared up at her for a moment, then moved closer and opened her arms. "Look, we think you're sick. What happened six months ago, it messed with your head… you're not thinking clearly. We want to get you some help."

"Help?" Chris-Alice blinked, then chuckled again. "Whatever it is I should be able to beat it… like daddy always tells me, Hollyrullers always win."

"No, they don't. Not alone." Raven said firmly.

Chris-Alice stared down at her for a long while, then clutched tighter at the spire. "I met Dr. Gerald's family… I even went to his funeral." She smiled through her tears. "They were very nice people… they didn't know I was the one who…" She looked down, then up at Raven again. "Do you think Dr. Gerald should have died?"

"I don't know." Raven shook her head. "I wasn't there." She moved closer still.

"I don't think so." Chris-Alice stared thoughtfully at the street again. "You say I'm sick in the head… maybe he was sick in the head too. Maybe if he'd gotten help, he could have gone back to his family. Maybe I'm the one who deserves to-"

"Don't say that!" Raven startled Chris-Alice by snapping suddenly. "You don't, you just don't. You can't change the past, Chris-Alice, and nobody blames you for what happened. You did what you felt you had to do at the time. If you don't believe me… just look." Raven gestured down to the streets below. Chris-Alice looked, now noticing that the number of the people in the streets had grown so thick that they really did look like a swarm of ants. "They're all looking for you, Chris-Alice. They left their game, their homes, their lives, just to make sure that you're okay. They think you're a great person... and so do I. You're just sick, is all."

"I'm sick…" Chris-Alice repeated, as if finally acknowledging it as the truth. She stared down at Raven steadily. "You think… they can help me?"

"I think they can… and I know all of your friends are going to be here to do what they can." Raven raised her arms up toward her. "I know I'll be here, if nothing else."

Chris-Alice looked past her at the street, then down at Raven again before letting go of the spire. She fell from her perch… right into Raven's arms, her weight knocking them both to the gently sloping roof, where they rolled over each other a short distance before coming to a stop with Chris-Alice lying on top of Raven. They remained that was for a long time, with Raven wrapping her arms tightly around Chris-Alice's torso, as if to prevent her from moving lest she jump off the roof.

Chris-Alice sniffled against her shoulder. "Thank you… for being… my friend…"

Raven smiled genuinely for the first time since Chris-Alice had met her. "It's okay to cry now, if you need to." She heard Chris-Alice giggle against her shoulder just before burying her face against her blouse, her shoulders beginning to quake violently. Raven ran her shoulders slowly up and down Chris-Alice's back. Raven had never done anything like this before, she was always a very private person… but somehow she didn't feel at all uncomfortable here. She didn't want to push her away for invading her personal space… she just wanted to make sure she was okay.

Raven waited with the others in Chris-Alice's house, sitting around the living room waiting for her to get home from her trip to the doctor. The atmosphere in the room was thick with tension. The football game had gone on after they'd found Chris-Alice, but they never did get to finish with their big cheer. Chris-Alice hadn't been allowed to return to the game, instead rushed away from her friends for testing and observation. Now weeks later, the school year was almost over and finally Chris-Alice was on her way home. They were all glad… but still nobody could speak.

When the door opened however everybody got to their feet and turned to watch Chris-Alice enter with her mother walking inside with her. Chris-Alice blinked in surprise when she saw them, then flashed them a smile that, though bright, seemed like a shadow of its former self. "Hey guys… what's up?"

"Chris-Alice!" Creepie broke the gathered friends' silence and approached Chris-Alice first. "How did it go? What did they say?"

"They gave me these pills to help get rid of the visions." Chris-Alice looked up at her mother with a soft smile. "I think they're working. I haven't seen anything for days."

"I'm glad you're feeling better." Creepie smiled, as the others softly echoed her sentiment with smiles on their faces.

"Thanks, everyone." Chris-Alice's smile remained firm as her bright green eyes flitted from person to person, only to hesitate when they reached Raven, who had taken up a position in the back of the crowd. Everyone else turned to look at Raven, causing her to blush lightly at the sudden rush of attention.

"What are you all looking at?" Raven demanded.

"Raven, can I talk to you in the other room?" Chris-Alice approached her through the crowd. Raven still didn't like the attention, and escaping the prying eyes of the others sounded like a good idea, so she nodded and turned to follow the redhead into the kitchen. Chris-Alice walked over to the counter and took a deep breath before turning back to Raven. "I can't thank you, Raven, thanking you just doesn't seem like enough for what you did for me. You saved my life... and my sanity."

"Anyone would've done the same thing." Raven blushed again. "I just happened to be the one who found you."

"Twice." Chris-Alice giggled softly and moved closer to her with her hands clasped behind her back. "Seems like a lot for someone who said she wasn't really my friend before."

"Come on, I didn't mean it like THAT…" Raven rubbed the back of her neck. "I like you well enough, we just never hung out much."

"Well, I'd like to start hanging out with you." Chris-Alice took both of her hands, holding them in a gentle grip. "If you want to."

"Sure, that doesn't sound like a bad idea." Raven agreed. "Did you have something in mind?"

"Actually, I was thinking about doing something for the Middle School Graduation Show, but I kind of need your help to do it. You and your band." Chris-Alice put her hands together in front of her. "It feels wrong to ask for a favor right now, but I really, really need your help."

"Sure thing, just tell me what you need."

Chris-Alice smiled broader than before and began to tell her her plan.

The crowd made up of other students and parents was jam packed into the Middlington Middle School Auditorium, almost everybody in town was here since they all had children enrolled in the school. It was a small, tight-knit town who always gathered in support of one another, no matter how silly the occasion seemed to some people. Now they gathered to watch the students say goodbye to the old school that they'd known for the last few years.

Miss Monseratte approached the microphone on the front of the stage as the curtains closed behind her. "Thank you very much Harry for that… startling display of hair knowledge." She cleared her throat and smiled at the gathered audience. "I have to admit, it always makes me sad to watch my students leave this school for the last time. That is why I started this tradition, to see them shine their brightest with the knowledge they learned from the fine teachers of Middlington Middle School." She mumbled under her breath. "Some of them, anyway."

"So without further interruption, our final performance for the night is from Creepie Creecher and the Plaid Vapors." She clapped along with the audience as she moved out of the way of the curtain. It slid open slowly, revealing the four members of the band standing on the stage with their instruments at hand. They all exchanged a glance before Raven took up her electric guitar and began to strum rapidly in a lightning-fast motion.

"Wait!" The guitar strumming stopped suddenly as a small form rushed out onto the stage from the audience, rushing up to the microphone with her red ponytail bouncing behind her. Chris-Alice smiled apologetically back at the band. "Sorry to interrupt, but I just have to say a few things, if that's okay." Raven nodded and sat down on the stool she'd brought out on stage, while the other three members of the band relaxed in their own ways. "Thanks so much." Chris-Alice turned back to the audience.

"This last year, a lot happened to me, and to my friend Creepie." Chris-Alice gestured back to Creepie, who was watching with a steady gaze. "If we didn't have a school full of such great friends, things probably would have been a lot harder for us than they were. After Creepie changed the way she did, people could have laughed, or freaked out, or made fun of her. Nobody did any of those things… and then recently I had kind of a tough spot myself."

Creepie smiled through tears that gathered at the edges of her eyes. "You could have made fun of me too, but nobody did. Miss Monseratte, Dr. Pappas, and all of the students and teachers of Middlington Middle School, thank you so much for understanding and being there for me, for looking for me when I just wanted to lose myself. Most of all… thank you Raven, for being the one to find me when I was so close to the edge." She glanced back at Raven, who again looked disconcerted at being singled out this way.

Chris-Alice turned back to the audience again, visibly struggling to make herself talk. "I'm moving past Middlington Middle School now, but I'll never forget it, or any of you. You all changed my life, and without you, I wouldn't be… wouldn't be…" Suddenly Raven and Misery Whispers set aside their electric instruments, changing them out for a pair of acoustic guitars, while Creepie set her bagpipes off to the side and lifted a harmonica from the side of the stage. "Well… without you all, I probably wouldn't be here. Thank you, thank you so much more than I can say. It was you… all of you who gave me hope again."

She turned away from the microphone, looking over to the side of the stage. Suddenly Skipper stood and sent a pink cowboy hat soaring onto the stage, which Chris-Alice caught and spun onto her head as she turned back to the crowd while Raven began to strum at the acoustic guitar with the ease of years of practice. Chris-Alice swayed back and forth with the music, tapping her heel on the stage as the rest of the band kicked in, waiting a moment before she leaned forward to sing.

"I used to live in a darkened room. Had a face of stone, and a heart of gloom. Lost my hope I was so far gone. Crying all my tears with the curtains drawn. I didn't know until my soul broke free. I got these angels watching over me!" She glanced back at Raven quickly, then turned to face forward again. The crowd quickly began to get into the performance, clapping their hands and stomping their feet in time to the music as Chris-Alice's performance continued.

Lights flashed on the stage as the performance went on, with Chris-Alice's smile adding to the strength of the music. It was so joyous and infectious there wasn't a straight face in the house. Even Raven felt her typically dour spirits lifted by the performance. Watching Chris-Alice dance and celebrate made her feel good in ways she'd never known before. What was this she was feeling, exactly? Oh well, it wasn't important right now. At least Chris-Alice looked happy.

"Oooohhh watch me go. I'm a happy girl and I've come to know. That the world won't change just 'cuz I complain. Let the axis twirl, I'm a happy girl. Oh watch me go. I'm a happy girl, everybody knows. That the sweetest thing that you'll ever see in the whole wide world is a happy girl." As the last note rang out over the audience, they all jumped to their feet in thunderous applause. There were certainly worse ways to leave behind a portion of their lives. Sure, they were just moving from one school to another… but there was something special about this school. It was a shame to leave it, but life moved on.

The moon was bright and full as Chris-Alice and Raven made their way out of the school gymnasium, laughing and walking side-by-side down the walkway to the street. Raven was feeling unusually jubilant walking beside the lighthearted redhead, as if her heart was flying through the soft clouds that hovered in the night sky overhead. She looked over at Chris-Alice, who slipped her arm around Raven's waist companionably with a broad grin on her lips.

"I can't thank you enough for playing that song for me." Chris-Alice said. "I know you're not a big fan of Country music."

"Hey, it was… different." Raven smiled back, feeling very relaxed walking through the brisk evening breeze. "Actually, to be honest, it was kind of fun, and you're a terrific singer."

"Me? Nahh!" Chris-Alice blushed.

"It's true. I didn't know you could do that with your voice. Usually it's so… squeaky." Raven grimaced.

Chris-Alice laughed a shrill laugh that would have normally grate don Raven's nerves, but now sounded almost pleasant. "If I'm squeaky, does that make you a bass?" Chris-Alice smiled teasingly.

"I guess it does." Raven chuckled along with her, looking up at the dark sky above them.

Chris-Alice stopped walking after a few moments and Raven stopped with her, looking over at her face curiously. Her bright green eyes reflected the pale light of the moon perfectly, looking completely white for a moment before she looked over at Raven again. "Raven, can I ask you something?"

"Of course." Raven nodded.

"Would it be okay if we started High School as friends?" Chris-Alice blinked cutely, her long eyelashes twinkling in the moonlight. Raven stared at her drolly for a moment, then nodded.

"Sure, I'd actually like that." Raven replied. Chris-Alice grinned and moved her hand to grip Raven's hand as she resumed walking with a new spring in her step. Raven paced her, letting Chris-Alice hold onto her hand as they went. Something felt very strange to her, for some reason. Something was welling up deep inside her that she couldn't name. What was it? Was it directed at Chris-Alice? Well, she supposed it didn't matter right now. Time would sort it out eventually.

THE END: see you next time

(Song "Happy Girl" by Martina McBride)