Thanks so much for the reviews guys! So I decided to put Jade's POV in, sorry it's short, but you can only talk about feelings for so long, before you start repeating yourself ;)
Jade POV
I've been in the hospital for about 6 days now ( I think), and I've been scared out of my mind the whole time. The first few days, my thoughts had been reduced to simple 5 word sentences. I couldn't think straight and I was a mess. I hated every minute of it.
My friends checked in on me often, along with Beck, and usually I would hate being seen so powerless and defeated, but I was actually glad to have them there.
I didn't like being alone. The darkness had betrayed me. I use to seek comfort in it's black depths that shielded me from the world, but now it seemed to try to suffocate me. I couldn't hide, I couldn't get away from it, it was always there...watching me... waiting for it's opportunity to strike.
Even when I blinked, scenes from that night played repetitively across my eyelids. No where was safe. Not even in Beck's arms, it just didn't feel right. Not now. I tried to revert to my old self, and enjoy his loving embraces, but I couldn't. Every time anyone even grazed my arm I'd flinch, imagining that freak. His tall stature looming over me, and his eyes burning wholes into mine. I couldn't take it. But I had to hold it in. I couldn't show my inner turmoil, no matter how much it hurt. I had already let my barriers down sometimes, and Beck had caught me sobbing a couple of nights. Those were the only times where I was able to feel comfortable around him, and spent countless hours crying into his welcoming shoulders.
He would always stay silent and twirl my hair with his fingers. But the mood would always be ruined sooner or later when I fell into another fitful sleep and imagined it was that asshole, and I would scramble away from Beck.
I hated the look in his eyes every time I did. They would become consumed with pain, and even though I apologized, I never returned to him. I would just snuggle under the crisp hospital sheets, and his gaze would fall unblinkingly on me, as I just drowned in my sea of self-loathing.
As much as Beck would protest, I knew this was my fault. I shouldn't have gone to Hunter's stupid party. I shouldn't have freaked out on Beck, I knew he wasn't gonna do anything with Tori anyway. But I couldn't bare the thought of losing him...not again. After that one time he broke with me, and I actually had to go to for Vega help, I promised I would never let him go again. But instead of becoming less possessive, like I should have considering that's how I lost him in the first place, I became even more.
Now here I was, petrified, shattered and scarred, all because I didn't listen.
But tomorrow I was going home. I was going to face the world and all the awaiting fears that had come with my rape.
Well this was pretty hard to write, but I think it came out pretty good. But it's your guys opinions that matter, so tell me what you think :)