AN: Okay folks, here's where you take the author's note from the last chapter to heart. As always, the more reviews, the faster the next chapter comes your way. Hope you like!

4/6

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Later that night, Jack sat in his chair, half draped over his desk. His eyes were fixed on the deep amber liquid that sat innocently in the crystal tumbler before him. After a few minutes, he tossed it back and set about refilling it the moment the burn faded. Brooding and forgetting were what alcohol was made for, but (because of his 51st century blood system and the fact that immortality apparently considered helpful mind-numbing substances to be dangerous foreign invaders) it took quite a lot of alcohol to get him into a state where he could brood. He'd come to rely on other things to forget.

However, alcohol still held the power to make him horribly depressed and uninhibited whenever he got absolutely sloshed, which is how Gwen found him when she opened his office door to say goodnight: clothes rumpled, eyes puffy and red from the tears trailing down his cheeks.

"Jack, I'm ready to head ou-" she stopped in the door way for a moment before tentatively continuing inside. "Jack? What's wrong?"

The immortal didn't answer, just sniffed and tossed back another shot. Gwen became even more concerned, coming around the desk to touch the Captain's shoulder. "Jack, please tell me what's the matter," she asked quietly, rubbing circles on his back.

"I blew it Gwen." Jack whispered before heaving a sob. He covered his face with his hang, rubbing his forehead. "I ruined everything."

Gwen stared helplessly at the sobbing man in front of her. She'd never seen her Captain loose his control this far. The only times she'd even seen him cry was when he was holding Estelle's dead body and after Tosh and Owen's death. She moved closer and put her arm over Jack's shoulders comfortingly.

"What did you do, Jack? What happened?"

Jack shook his head, turning toward her for a hug. He stood up so he could pull her close and wrapped himself around her, burying his face in her neck. Even more shocked, Gwen returned the hug, whispering platitudes in his ear. They stayed there for several moments before Jack's center of gravity swerved, causing them to stumble.

Gwen pulled back from the embrace, murmuring to Jack and leading him over to the couch on the other side of Jack's office. Jack practically fell onto it, and Gwen had to steady him.

"I think you've had enough, Jack," she smiled weakly. Jack didn't seem to hear, eyes wandering sightlessly around his office.

"Jack." Gwen repeated his name a few times until she got his attention. "You need to tell me what's going on. You never drink, what's gotten into you?" She finished, almost exasperated with the lack of response.

"I hurt him," Jack finally said, voice slurring a bit. "And I don't know if he'll ever forgive me, I don't know how to fix it."

"Who, Ianto?" Gwen asked in surprise. She knew the two had been in a relationship of some sort for while, even if she didn't know how serious it was. Despite being openly together, Jack still flirted outrageously with everyone he met and Ianto stuttered and changed the subject whenever their relationship was brought up. Plus, Gwen had never seen them doing any sort of PDA outside the Hub, and this suggested to her that it wasn't serious. But there were some times she'd see them staring into each other's eyes in the Hub when they'd almost look like… Gwen shook her head. No, Jack and Ianto weren't together together, they were just dating, and casually at that.

So when Jack nodded his head drunkenly, a pained and regretful look on his face, Gwen was very surprised. "What did you do?"

Jack sniffed and wiped his wet cheeks before whispering. "He said he loved me."

Gwen's jaw dropped. There was no way the two of them were in love! Jack could not possibly love Ianto, even if Ianto loved him. Jack Harkness wasn't the sort to fall in love, she knew, at least not anymore. And especially not with men! He'd joked to her and the team about all the men he'd been with, but he'd mentioned non-human life forms as well, and she'd never heard him profess his love for an alien. He might sleep with men, but just like Ianto, the only one he could really love would be a woman.

Gwen swallowed the thoughts suddenly swirling in her head. She had to help Jack get over whatever he was feeling so bad about. "And you said…"

Jack's eyes shut, more tears leaking from behind them. The guilt was easy to read on his face.

"Jack, come on," Gwen wheedled, using the gentle but commanding tone that she had learned to drag information from people. "You've got to tell me."

"I flipped out on him! I threw it back in his face! I ridiculed the idea and I told him there was no such thing as happy endings." Jack fell back onto the couch, turning away from Gwen and sobbing.

Gwen stared at his back. She'd expected to be glad that Jack had turned away her colleague's advance, but all she could feel was sympathy for the helpful, quiet man. Suddenly conflicted, she went back to smoothing over Jack's back soothingly.

When the sounds of crying had died down a bit, Gwen spoke softly. "Have you tried to talk with him?"

She could see the back of Jack's head move up and down. "At lunch. We fought. It was bad, Gwen."

Her face creased with sympathy. "Tell me about it." But Jack shook his head.

"I don't want to." His voice cracked as more tears spilled out.

"It'll make you feel better, Jack, I swear to you it will." She bit her lips as Jack continued to cry.

"I… I tried to apologize. For being so cruel and for not s-saying it back."

Gwen nodded even though he couldn't see her. It was several more moments before Jack continued.

"He said he didn't expect me to say it back, he just wanted me to… To know how he felt." The captain's voice had so much pain in it that Gwen winced herself, and hugged him from behind. She felt his back shudder as he took a deep breath.

"He asked me why I didn't want him to say it, and I told him it was cause-" He swallowed, then whispered the rest. " Because I could never say it back."

Gwen's eyebrows shot up. "So… you told him you didn't love him?"

"No!" He pulled away from her embrace and spun toward her on the couch. "That's not what I said!"

Jack stood up and began to shakily pace the office, having to grab onto furniture to steady himself more than once. "Everyone I've ever loved has died! Every single time I allow myself to love someone, they're taken from me far too soon! I can't love him, I just can't!"He picked up the tumbler and threw it at the wall. Gwen flinched when it shattered, not daring to move.

After leaning against his desk for a few moments, Jack found the bottle again and took a swig from it. Gwen stood from the couch, determined to take it away, and ended up barely managing to catch it when Jack dropped it in favor of flopping into his desk chair. "He thinks I'm in love with you."

Gwen froze in the midst of closing the bottle. Her eyes were wide as they had ever been and she couldn't close her mouth to save her life. She stared at Jack, excitement and hope warring with dismay, confusion and guilt.

Jack turned the chair toward her, his glazed, red eyes piercing hers. "I do love you, Gwen. You're a beautiful, passionate, intelligent woman. You're one of the best friends I've had in years, and I love you for that. But-" He cut off, shaking his head and threw himself carelessly back into the chair. In her stunned silence, she could see more tears welling up.

"But if I fell in love with Ianto, I could never survive loosing him."

Absolutely overcome, Gwen could only watch as her leader sobbed into his coat. It was several long minutes later when Jack's tears seemed to die down that she came to a conclusion in her thoughts and hesitantly made her way over to him. "You've got to go to bed, Jack," she began as she pulled him to his feet and started tugging him toward his hatch in the floor. "Then you can talk to Ianto tomorrow, tell him all this. I'm sure if you explain how you feel-""What?" Jack gasped, his drooping eyelids widening again. "You can't tell him about this! I can't tell him how I feel, that would…" He trailed off, shaking his head in a wild but exhausted manner. "He's better off if he's not with me. That way he won't die young." Jack almost snorted, a teary, ironic smile on his face.

"Jack, you can't think that way! If you feel so much for each other, you should be together!" A small part of Gwen's mind recognized how ludicrous it was that she was fighting for this relationship when, just yesterday, she would have felt little more than the bare minimum of pity if it had broken up. But she'd realized that, regardless of his protests, Jack was in love with the Teaboy. And if he was in love, really in love with someone else, then she had to get over her crush on him once and for all.

Jack glared at her, determined face inches away because of how she was holding him up, and the emotions swirling in that look made her cut off her words. "He can't know about this. He might… he could think that-"

"That you love him?" The Welshwoman interrupted. She let out a quiet laugh. "You already do, Jack. I can see it in your eyes."

Jack stared at her for a few more seconds, desperation filling his gaze now. "Don't tell him, Gwen. Promise me you won't."

She opened her eyes wide, about to complain. "But Jack-"

"Promise me!"

She stuttered for a few seconds, trying to think of some argument that would change his mind. His resolute stare convinced her that she couldn't refuse. "I promise."