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Lunch is overwhelming, to say the least. A table decked for 12, conversations going in all and none directions, so much noise, food being brought to and from to help everybody get what they want. Kurt feels like he's drowning or choking, maybe both. The breakfast had been a silent affair, but apparently everyone's more awake by now. How can they have so much to talk about, when they practically live together and do everything together? And shouldn't people eating be quiet?
Kurt carefully blows into his cup of coffee to prevent it from scolding his lips. He then helps himself to some grapes from the fruit tray conveniently placed next to him. After 15 grapes or so, and the coffee, he feels full, almost nauseous. May he leave the table? What are the rules? Are there any rules? Kurt carefully looks around the table to see what the others do. Unfortunately, everybody's still eating and chatting. Kurt sighs inwardly, poring himself another cup of coffee to have something to hold on to, seeming occupied and not so lost.
Eventually one of the girls gets up, placing her dishes on a trolley, and Kurt doesn't hesitate to follow her example. He quickly grabs his book before darting into the room he was assigned. He lies down in bed, staring at the ceiling, and it is a blessing that his mind for once is utterly blank. It doesn't happen often, but in this precious moment he's actually capable of shutting down his brain, and just be. It's a welcomed escape not having to worry, discuss with him self, pence, remember, struggle, grieve, or morn.
Not for long, though, because Kurt is interrupted by a firm knock on the door, and Thomas pops in.
"Hey, how are you doing? A nurse is here to see to your bandages, is this a bad time?"
Kurt shakes his head, and sits up in the bed. A man in white uniform comes in, introduces himself as Pete, and pulls the chair closer to the bed.
"Would you mind showing me your wrists?"
Kurt obediently obliges, while staring into the wall. Ironically he's never been fond of blood and damages. That in itself is a testament to how badly he wanted to get away, he thinks to himself.
"Everything's healing nicely, the wounds show no signs of infections, but I changed your bandages," nurse Pete says, before wishing Kurt a pleasant afternoon and leaving.
"Would you like to join us in the common's room?" Thomas asks. Kurt just looks at him. Not really, he thinks to himself. "People are playing games, reading newspapers, chatting, just hanging. But it's nice to be among people, and I'm sure we can find something you enjoy doing," Thomas continues. Again it is easier to do as told than find any energy to protest, so Kurt grabs his book and follows after.
"The TV is off limits until after dinner, but otherwise you are free to use whatever we have here to entertain yourself. We also have access to a crafts room, so if you like to knit, embroider, draw or anything artsy, we can pick up equipment there for you," Thomas explains.
"Maybe later," Kurt offers, feeling the need to not come off as rude, and provide more than one word-sentences now and then. "I like this book," he continues, lifting his hand slightly and heading for the couch.
"Kurt, right?" asks the smiley-exploding Asian girl, sitting across over Kurt. "I'm Sarah, and I'm the one who's been here the longest, so I'm kind of the one everybody relies on and can ask about anything, 'cause I just know anything and everything here after all my stays," she chatters on in an impressive speed, and Kurt is used to his Glee-girls for goodness sake. "I love to knit, do you knit? I am working on a sweater, I was actually seven when I finished my first sweater, so there's really no challenge to it, but it's nice to do things that doesn't require any effort, you know. I love my knitted sweaters, and I always make matching scarves and mittens, but I tell you, that I can do in my sleep!" she laughs eagerly, showing all her equipment and some yarn in a hideous colour. "Some people actually need to focus when they knit, I'm so glad it's all so natural to me, I can just talk and knit and watch TV and read the newspaper, and isn't this just great?" she squeals.
"I bet it is," Kurt mumbles, before demonstratively lifting his book and open it to the last page he read before lunch. Next to him he can hear someone chuckle softly, almost not audibly. Kurt peaks from the corner of his eye, and it's the boy who had introduced himself as Blaine earlier. Kurt turns his head slightly to double check, and yes, the boy is actually working with a math book.
"Bored, much?" It slips out of Kurt's lips before he can prevent it. Blushing he stars into his own book, trying to act as if he didn't say those two words. At the loss of any response, he carefully turns his head slightly towards the boy, who is smiling amused at him.
"Unfortunately, this isn't by choice. The cruel duty of homework," he adds, and winks to Kurt.
He winks to Kurt! Kurt feels the embarrassment blush even more radiant in his face, and something in his stomach is revolting and making him feel kind of nauseous, he thinks.
A woman enters the room in boots and her coat, with a big scarf wrapped around her neck.
"Who wants to go out for a walk today? The destination can be the store some block away for those who need to stack up on their candy, magazines and toiletries," the woman says and some people get to their feet.
"That's Melinda," someone whispers in Kurt's ear, and oh yes, that's right; Blaine remembered how it was to be confused with all the names and faces. "Most of us aren't allowed to go out alone, so they do these daily walks with various destinations, so that we can have some fresh air and do some basic errands. Some times we go to a bakery to enjoy good coffee, some times we walk in the park, sometimes we just stand outside to let the smoker's have their nicotine fix, and sometimes there is basic shopping like this one. Feel free to offer the staff or your contact person suggestions if you have any needs," Blaine explains. Kurt smiles gratefully at him. He's actually quite dizzy and confused by all the rules and practises in this place, and he's learning something new by the hour.
Not for long, a small group with their coats, money and candy-lust eyes on heads out.
After a while, Blaine gets up and disappears with his math books. Kurt looks up from his own book, and scans the room. Thomas is nowhere to be seen, which means Kurt is currently in a room with nothing but strangers. He feels lost and afraid. Sensing how his body is shaking and the room starts to twirl; he gets up and rushes for "his" room. Sighing deeply, he embraces the pillows and quickly disappears into darkness.
"Kurt, you need to wake up. Kurt, I need to talk to you!" Someone's gently, but firmly, shaking Kurt, and it's with pain he finally manages to open his sore and tired eyes.
"Sorry to wake you up, but I have to finish my part of your report for those working evening and night before I leave, so I wanted to ask you some questions, if that's OK," Thomas says.
Kurt nods and sits up.
"How has your day been?"
Kurt takes time to find the right answer. Several words tumble around in his brain, before he settles for one. "Overwhelming."
"That's understandable. Is it anything we can do to make it easier for you?"
Kurt contemplates that question for a while too, before he simply shakes his head.
"Is it anything you think the next shift needs to know from this day? I'll write in the report you had a nightmare during your nap, and didn't sleep well this night, so they can keep an eye on you and make sure you get the rest you need. Anything else you'd like to add? Any wishes for tomorrow?"
"No, I think that covers the highlights," Kurt huffs, making Thomas laugh softly.
"OK, so I've got what I need to finish the report. Dinner is ready in 15 minutes, if you want to freshen up a bit. See you at the table, and after food I'm leaving."
Kurt just nods, and heads for the bathroom with his toiletries.
After dinner, Margaret greets Kurt, and he vaguely remembers her from the night before. She reminds him she's his contact person until Thomas is back next morning.
Most people head for the couches to fight friendly over the TV-remote. A majority makes sure The Bachelor is the entertainment for the next hour, but Kurt can't be bothered by that show, and retrieves from the room. He is sick of his own room, but he doesn't want to sit by himself in a corner away from the TV like an outcast either. Kurt is thinking about taking another shower and go through his skin care regime, when he remembers about the computer in the conversation room, and how Thomas had said they were free to use it. Kurt doesn't think he can cope with any phone calls, and has turned it off and put it in the bottom of his bag. But he thinks it would be nice to compose a quick e-mail to his father, to let him know how he's doing. If only he knew the answer to that question…