Hello again. Sorry about the long wait, but I was really hoping you guys would send suggestions in the reviews. Your reviews are what keeps this story alive. Please, I cannot do this on my own! This chapter I had to write by myself and believe me, it was not easy. Promise to give more constructive criticism, and this story will stay out of production hell. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: All Rights To Young Justice Belong to DC Comics and Cartoon Network
Chapter 3: Payback Begins
"YOU CALLED CONNER AN 'IT'?!"
Clark hated it when Batman got angry. When that happened...well, he felt like he was going to piss his pants. This time was different. After several months of arguing Clark's role as a "parent," Batman seems to have reach his boiling point with the Kryptonian's behavior. He had only gotten off the phone with Lois earlier that evening and the moment the Dark Knight saw the idiotic reporter down in the Batcave on invitation, all hell broke loose.
"ANSWER ME YOU CORN-FED HICK!" Batman screamed at the top of his lungs again when Clark, now Superman, kept his mouth closed.
Batman's trusted butler and confidant, Alfred muttered in the background, "Now really sir, all of this yelling is unnecessary for someone as sensitive as Master Clark. Might I suggest using a megaphone instead?"
Superman tried to play the 'tough guy' despite how pale his face looked at the moment, "In my defense, I said the word in front of Lois and not-"
"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR EXCUSE IS SMALLVILLE! BUT I CARE ABOUT YOUR RECENT BEHAVIOR WITH CONNER!" Batman roared again, this time speaking through a megaphone Alfred handed him, "HOW DARE YOU ACT LIKE A CHICKEN AROUND YOUR SON- YES, YOUR SON KENT, YOU CAN'T MAKE ANY EXCUSE FOR THAT NOW CAN YOU?!- AND YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT STARTING NOW!"
"I'm sorry," Superman said pathetically, "I don't know what came over me when it happened I swear-"
"Well I do," growled Batman, "You always act like nothing can phase you; not Lois with her sarcasm, not Luthor with his never-ending attempts to kill you, not even me whenever you manage to piss me off every other word. But the truth is that you are a coward! You justify your cold behavior with Conner by telling yourself that he is a clone, not a real person. But guess what Smallville, he is your son. He has your blood flowing through his veins, and he needs his father to teach him. Is this how your parents, both biological and adoptive, would have wanted you to handle this scenario? Would they want to see the Last Son of Krypton being frightened by his own child?"
Superman's next argument died on his lips when the last question came out. Would Ma and Pa be able to forgive his childish actions? They didn't even know there was a Superboy in the world yet! And if his real parents were alive...Superman didn't know what to think. And the last time he spoke to...to him, he was a complete jerk simply because he was in a foul mood. He should have been proud of...of Conner and praised him for saving those people by himself, he should been...less of an asshole and more of a-father? friend?- maybe like an older brother or something. Superman's face started easing up, his warrior face melting into a frown. A sick feeling in his stomach that had nothing to do with food started building up, making him want to throw up.
Batman carefully looked at Superman's hallow expression before snarling, "My point exactly. Now listen very closely Kent, because you treading on very thin ice right now! You are going to Mount Justice tomorrow; you are going up to Conner, look him straight in the eye and apologize. And that's not all, you will be a more active parent. You will help him during training sessions, act as den mother when needed, even help him with his homework if he's failing or so help me, I will take a large chunk of Krptonite and shove it right up your-"
"Wherever you're gonna shove the Kryptonite, at least let me take a picture of the moment," a voice cackled from upstairs. Batman felt his lip curve slightly at the sound of that voice. Despite all of the arguments that kept on happening now, he was still happy to know that his son was back. It was just a visit to Metropolis after all, it's much safer than Gotham. What was he doing there in the first place anyways? As Dick came down, however, he wasn't happy to see that Conner was going into his cave. Oh Lord, even Conner knows now!?
Conner's eyes widened at the sight all around him. A penny that stood at least thirty feet tall was tucked away in one corner. A T-Rex-wait, aren't dinosaurs extinct?-was standing by a gigantic computer that was pressed against the back wall. Rows upon rows of costumes, vehicles, weapons, practically everything was stored in glass cases all around the room. and then there were the bats. Bats that kept on screeching and flying all around. One even landed on Richard's shoulder, whom he petted affectionately before it flew off again. Richard was right, Uncle Batman wasn't crazy. HE WAS INSANE! He collected more souvenirs than Wally did.
"Hey Bruce," Dick smiled cautiously at his foster father, understanding that he broke two rules by A) telling someone his secret ID and B) bringing them into the Batcave. When Alfred brought Vicky Vale into the cave a few years back, Batman decided to forbid anymore unwanted guests outside of the Justice League (or the Speed Force since Wally knows who his best friend is as well as his uncle.)
"Dick," Batman nodded curtly, "I see you brought Conner here." Conner waved, oblivious to the glare now plastered onto the Dark Knight's face.
"I do hope you didn't hear the...dispute occurring down here, now did you?" Alfred asked.
Dick shook his head while Conner blurted out, "No offense, but your walls are pretty thin. I could hear everything." At this remark, Dick face-palmed while Superman's face went from deadly-white to scarlet-red in embarrassment. Of course Conner could hear everything, he was Kryptonian for God's sake!
"Is there anything else you'd like to bring up, Master Conner?" Alfred asked, trying to keep the conversation from going sour.
Conner bit his lower lip for a few moments before saying, "Yeah. Does Superman have a small...you know?"
Dick groaned "Conner!"
Alfred lost control of himself and broke down laughing.
Superman's face turned an even darker shade of red.
Batman simply asked, "Where the hell did you get that idea from?"
Conner shrugged, "Heard his nickname was...what was it again, Dick? Shortstuff? Wee-Wee? Tiny Ti-"
"My nickname is Smallville!" Superman blurted out without thinking.
"That's the one!" Conner exclaimed, "Smalllville. So is it true?"
"Oh look! Up in the sky! Can you see it?" Superman pointed far out into the cave at nothing in particular. The moment Conner turned his head in the direction that Superman's finger was pointing, the Man of Steel flew out of the Batcave before Batman could stop him. The Dark Knight groaned in frustration; after all, he did say that Superman would get started tomorrow... Stupid loopholes!
When Conner noticed that Superman left him again, he was tempted to break something. Maybe that penny could handle a couple of hits of his?
"Dad?" Bruce turned to his son. It was so long since he called him that, "Is it all right if Conner stays over? It is a Saturday after all."
Bruce turned to Alfred, who had finally recovered from his laughing fit, waiting for some help. The butler gave a quick nod, and so the Wayne heir conceded defeat.
"Fine," Bruce groaned, "But I'm driving him back to Mount Justice tomorrow morning."
Alfred interjected, "If I may ask, sir, but what about church?"
Bruce rolled his eyes, "Am I a Catholic?"
"Depends. Am I the one whose cooped up in a filthy cave for hours on end?" Countered Alfred.
"..."
"Wait a sec, I'M Catholic," Dick realized.
"Does this mean that I'm Catholic?" Conner asked, "What is Catholic anyways?"
"Another story SB, another story," Dick responded, "Want to see my room?"
"Hell yeah!" Conner cheered, "Race you!"
The moment they rushed upstairs again, Bruce turned to Alfred, the million dollar question on his lips,
"Where the hell did the small penis joke come from?"
"A wise man once said, 'In a world of peaches, don't ask for applesauce'," Alfred responded sagely, his face face expressionless as if he was just answering a simple question.
"But I'm allergic to applesauce," Bruce frowned, taking the quote too literally.
"No, that's what Leslie told you when you were younger to prevent from stealing that girl's applesauce from kindergarten," Alfred corrected before he could stop himself.
"Why you little-!"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Dick had to clutch his ribs to prevent laughter from escaping his lips as both he and Conner looked over the piece of paper that Lois was able to scribe for them. It was so perfect, now all that they needed was some of that cologne Bruce loved putting on for work and they'd be all set. Only problem was that Bruce's room was typically off limits during the day. The door was unlocked only during the night, whenever Bruce wanted to check up on his son.
"Why don't you go in there tonight?" Conner suggested.
"Because I don't go in there unless I have a nightmare; and when I do, I don't leave Bruce's side during the night. If I do that, he might get suspicious," Dick explained. And there were other reasons too, that couldn't be spoken outloud: it was only when the nightmares were too...intense did he ever go see his father for comfort. It would be a betrayal of his trust. There had to be another way...
"Could I be of any assistance to you two sirs?" A familiar British voice spoke from behind, "Anything in the ways of, as the kids say, pranking?"
Conner's face flashed with fear when the majordomo said these words. He jumped up, "Richard, he knows! We have to induce amnesia!"
"No, no, Conner," Dick warned as he saw Conner pull out knock-out gas-where did that come from?!-and stepped in between the two before anything happened, "We can trust Al, he's a friend. Right Alfred?" As he said this, Dick looked at his old friend with worry, hoping that his trust wouldn't ruin everything.
When Alfred nodded, both boys relaxed. They had to keep their allies to a minimum for now.
"Wait a minute!" Conner frowned, "How do we know we can trust him? He works for Batman!"
"I also work for Master Richard, sir, so there should be nothing to fear," Alfred replied calmly, "I too can get weary of Master Bruce's behavior. Sarcasm can only get you so far these days. I trust you won't attempt to erase my memory by kissing me, Master Conner?"
Conner's face went pink, "Dude! You're a guy. I'm a guy. Why would I kiss you?"
"He's joking and I'll explain later," Dick replied.
"You always say that though," Conner grumbled.
"And I always make true with my promises," Dick countered. Conner shrugged his shoulders in agreement.
"Promise me that you both will be in bed by 10:30 tonight, and I will secure whatever you need from Master Bruce's room without drawing any suspicion," Alfred promised.
Dick nodded eagerly and shook hands with the grandfatherly figure. Conner merely looked at the old man with caution. Could he trust another person already? But if Richard trusted him, then Conner should take the leap of faith as well.
Conner pulled out his hand and smiled, "Deal."
Once again, PLEASE Review with criticism. Dick and Conner aren't the only ones who need outside help to get the job done. The next chapter may take a few days as I have college to worry about now that final exams are rearing their ugly faces soon. But I promise to keep up with the story as long as you keep offering suggestions for how the story should go. Thank You and Happy Readings!